Boyfriend Motivation???

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  • ExYoYoGirl
    ExYoYoGirl Posts: 83
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    The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.

    Dump that loser and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are and not make you feel guilty for not being someone you're not.

    Best of luck to you.

    This pretty much sums it up!!
  • chefswife67
    chefswife67 Posts: 145
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    The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.

    Dump that loser and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are and not make you feel guilty for not being someone you're not.

    Best of luck to you.

    I agree! My Ex hubby was like that , thats why he is an Ex hubby..
    Good Luck!
  • UrbanRunner81
    UrbanRunner81 Posts: 1,207 Member
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    I had a boyfriend like that. He would joke around about my body. I broke up with him. I wasn't even overweight. I was 135lbs and 5'10" He really damaged my self-esteem. My husband would never say these things to me and never has.
    You don't deserve to be put down.
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
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    You should be asking yourself why are you with him. Then ask him why is he with you. If he doesn't respect you and love you enough to be with the REAL you and not some physical representation of you, then he doesn't deserve you! Btw, you are HOT! There's a million girls out there that would be happy to have your current body.

    If you are going to lose the weight, it should be on your terms and for you.
  • Mrswheels01
    Mrswheels01 Posts: 201 Member
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    I said dump the boyfriend..Lose the weight for yourself. then show off how amazing you look!
  • HeelsAndBoxingGloves
    HeelsAndBoxingGloves Posts: 916 Member
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    I agree with everyone else! If he's going to try and help you and motivate you to lose weight he needs to do that! Not bring you down! You can ONLY lose the weight and get healthy if it's what YOU want to do. You can't do it for anyone else
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    i don't think its fair to not have a perfect body, but have a boyfriend who does, and get mad when he asks you to live up to the standards he sets. my boyfriend is gorgeous (even my mom admits hes more attractive than me) and, though he never says anything to me, just the fact that he is so perfect motivates me to go to the gym EVERY SINGLE DAY. i started before i met him, but knowing I want to feel like i deserve him keeps me going even when I'm really tired.

    Live up to him or swap down to someone who won't mind your imperfections/pressure you.

    This post makes me sad.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    Been here before and I say get out now! I had a boyfriend who was constantly putting me down about my weight and it ruined my self esteem. I eventually got to the point where I had completely let myself go and was just piling on more weight. I was so insecure about leaving him because he had me convince that no one would want me because of how I looked and I believed him.

    It has since taken me 9 months and 47lbs to get that self esteem back. Don't do that to yourself!!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    My boyfriend is DESPERATE for me to lose weight. He makes comments constantly about my weight gain in a joking/funny way but I know he is being deadly serious. He asks me everyday what I have ate and if I have been to gym and won't allow me to snack in front of him, and if I do he puts me down.

    I do moan to him about my looks and if I feel fat, i winge!

    He has the perfect body and goes to the gym every morning without fail. I wish I had his motivation, but the more he puts me down the more I want to eat to act like I'm not bothered what he says.

    Does anyone else have this problem?

    Really?!? Seems to me he's a controlling nut bag. I don't have this problem, I married someone who respects me.
  • ChangingAshleyForLife
    ChangingAshleyForLife Posts: 53
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    The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.

    Dump that loser and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are and not make you feel guilty for not being someone you're not.

    Your BF sucks. A significant other is not supposed to bring you down, they should make you feel better about yourself no matter what and support your goals in a healthy and constructive way.
  • schrammae
    schrammae Posts: 13 Member
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    Wow... You are a very beautiful woman and are absolutely perfect the way you are. If you want to lose a little weight FOR YOURSELF, that is great, but losing weight for someone else is not the way to motivate yourself. Especially trying for a BOY that has to belittle a beautiful woman to feel better about himself.

    If by some chance, you think that he is a good man who is worried about your health, you should sit down and have a talk with him and tell him that his putting you down and micromanaging your weight loss is neither productive, nor are you willing to stay with someone who pushes you around emotionally.

    Just from that short message you posted, I don't know about your situation, but I can guess. He sounds like a control freak. What happens once you lose the weight. He will find something else to focus his control issues on. Like who you spend time with, how you spend your money, etc.

    Good luck to you and YOUR goals. I hope that you find what you want.
  • steveh08
    steveh08 Posts: 66 Member
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    The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.

    Dump that loser and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are and not make you feel guilty for not being someone you're not.

    Best of luck to you.


    I totally agree.
  • ineed2bskinny
    ineed2bskinny Posts: 62
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    You mentioned that YOU wanted to lose weight and complain about it to your boyfriend, which could mean he's trying to keep you on track at your request, but...wow. I can't imagine anything he's doing/saying is helping your self-worth at all. Is he at all complimentary when you lose a few pounds, eat healthy, have a kick-*kitten* work out? Is he complimentary when you're in a good mood and are feeling really good about yourself, regardless of your weight? Do you enjoy eachother's company, going out for a good meal, not worrying about what he's going to think of what you're eating?

    If not - really, it doesn't sound healthy to me. I'm sorry to judge based on just one post, but...

    Can you talk to him and say "You know, I really feel X when you say/do Y. It would be a lot more helpful to hear Z." If he's not up for it, maybe you need to rethink what kind of time you spend with him.

    I wish you nothing but the best. Truly.

    yeah he does compliment me when i lose weight and he does notice straight away..

    we do go out for meals and do nice stuff together, i may go on about me weight gain a lot
  • jbeauchamp1
    jbeauchamp1 Posts: 195 Member
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    First and foremost sit down and tell him how much his "encouragement" is bothering you. He may not even think about what he is saying. Second if he does not move on....you don't want a man in your life that is being a jerk and putting you down and then hiding behind the "I'm trying to help you" excuse. Third quit using him as your reason to not get moving. Don't do it for him do it for you. If you are not comfortable with yourself change it but not because he has pushed you to do it. You will resent him if you do it for him and never feel good enough.
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
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    I had a boyfriend like that... you know what I did? I dumped his *kitten*.

    You deserve a lot better than that.
  • ineed2bskinny
    ineed2bskinny Posts: 62
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    WOW I have had my eyes opened slightly by this thread...

    I may go on about my weight gain a bit too much?? xx
  • schrammae
    schrammae Posts: 13 Member
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    It isn't you - it is him. He is being a @$$. It is a form of abuse (emotional and verbally). I put up with it for almost 5 years from my soon to be ex husband. I finally had enough in June and left him - working on the divorce now. I was never small (he married me big), but having 2 babies put more strain on my body. He wasn't that good looking either - he just like to put me down to feel better about himself. I have since lost 56 lbs, and he is jealous of what I have become and not his anymore. I am dating another guy who worships me and is always complimenting me. I now have low self-esteem because his my ex's abuse - don't allow him to treat you this way. Find someone who will worship you - you are worth so much more than anyone's abuse.
    Awesome Job! Way to take control of your life!
  • angelinerstetzko
    angelinerstetzko Posts: 104
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    I complain about my weight to my boyfriend --

    and he tells me that I'm crazy and I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen.

    You should get responses like that.

    Not constant criticism.
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,856 Member
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    if that pic is you - you're beautiful. and perfect. and i'm a brutally honest individual.

    your first weight loss move would be to push the bf over a cliff, then do whatever makes you feel best.
  • krnlcsf
    krnlcsf Posts: 310
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    I have a bit of the opposite problem... but it still makes it tough to get motivated. My bf doesn't want me to lose weight (I think its a security thing, like he thinks i'll all of a sudden stop loving him when I get thinner and leave him... not the case!). So I know its tough not to have the right support from the person you love. Basically when he tells me, "i love you now, you don't need to lose weight" i respond with "i'm doing this for me... this is personal" and that's the truth, AND the BEST reason for embarking on a weight loss journey. it's a tough road, but DO IT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO! at the end of the day, you're the one who has to spend the rest of your life with you... you can dump that guy and find someone who will be the right kind of support, but you still have to be happy with yourself.

    good luck!

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