Boyfriend Motivation???

chanstriste13

UGH~ Grow up??? I should have worded that a bit better ~

My closing statement was directed towards HIM I should have put 'HIM' instead of 'PEOPLE'
you know as in PEOPLE LIKE HIM ~
I hope to have made that as clear as my 'crystal ball'

Its one thing if youre crying to him with a mouth full of twinkies about your weight & he is offering you tough love but if hes making statements out of nowhere that insult you then its simple,...

YOU LEAVE HIM.

What is wrong with people? UGh its pathetic.

it must be nice to have your crystal ball so you can see and know everything about everyone.

advice is one thing, but to lay down the 'pathetic' verdict is just bad form. grow up.

ahhh...that makes a lot more sense. the implication (as i read it) was that you were calling the original poster pathetic...thanks for clearing that up.

GreenThyme

That doesn't sound like "motivation", it sounds like insults. I would not put up with it. Tell him that the comments hurt your feelings. If he keeps making them, I wonder why you two would want to be together.

You need loving support. This is not it.

jeninabilan

hmmmm okay.. I am going to sound like a total ***** (why is this such a trend in all of my responses?) lol

I am not shallow, but in all seriousness, when you are trying to get in shape and constantly better yourself, you want someone who will go on that journey with you.. This may sound mean, but when you are getting in shape and your partner is staying the same or gaining weight, it might be a little bit of a turn off.. That doesn't mean you love them any less, it's just a turn off.. I had a boyfriend who was really into going to the gym all the time and at that point in my life, it was just not a priority, so he lost interest.. which makes sense. He wanted someone who had the same goals as him.

Now...

Let me start off by saying, you are HOT and have a GORGEOUS body, so I am not saying ANYTHING negative about that at all!! I just think you need to be fully confident in yourself and how he feels about you. If you found someone that you love undoubtedly and know that he loves you, I think you should try to make it work.. I hate how everyone's response to everything is "just move on".. that is not ALWAYS the answer. Now, if he is verbally or physically abusive, RUN!!!!!! I do not promote staying in unhealthy relationships at all.. But if he is just trying to be encouraging, then y'all can work it out.

Guys don't always have the best way of communicating and sometimes they say the wrong thing with the best of intentions. Maybe try talking to him about how he makes you feel and that you would like him to word things a little bit differently or lay off.. Maybe once he notices that you are putting in more effort into getting fit, he will back off.

I would love to be here to support you in any way that you need! Maybe fitness is just a journey y'all need to be on separately if you feel like he smothers you with it.. nothing wrong with that

jeninabilan

i don't think your bf is a loser and you need to dump him like everyone else is saying. i think he's just trying to motivate you, he just doesn't know HOW to motivate you. so he's motivating you in the manner in which would get HIM motivated. you just need to have a heart to heart with him and let him know that you see and appreciate what he's trying to accomplish, especially since you brought it on by complaining about your body in the first place. but the way he's doing it isn't working for you. but the most important thing: HAVE WAYS THAT HE CAN MOTIVATE THAT WOULD WORK FOR YOU ALREADY IN MIND!!!! don't come to this convo empty handed, because most guys are problem solvers. you complain, we find a way to fix the problem. you complain about weight, so he tries to get you to eat better and work out. the way he's doing it is not working for you, so you need to give him at least 3 things he can do that would work better for him to get him started. he'll come up with more on his own afterwards, but he's gonna need to know what works for you to give him a push and get him started. most women will just complain/vent to us with no solution in mind, which leaves us to our own devices to come up with one. you may not even WANT a solution, you just want to be heard. so you should make this known up front. and if his solution isn't working, come with suggestions.

AMEN!!!!

JustEllieK

The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.

nikki778

God no, We are all here to help, I will have to take my time typing my thoughts & being more specific as to what Im implying, I would never be negative towards someone, I even requested her with a note.

UGH~ Grow up??? I should have worded that a bit better ~

My closing statement was directed towards HIM I should have put 'HIM' instead of 'PEOPLE'
you know as in PEOPLE LIKE HIM ~
I hope to have made that as clear as my 'crystal ball'

Its one thing if youre crying to him with a mouth full of twinkies about your weight & he is offering you tough love but if hes making statements out of nowhere that insult you then its simple,...

YOU LEAVE HIM.

What is wrong with people? UGh its pathetic.

it must be nice to have your crystal ball so you can see and know everything about everyone.

advice is one thing, but to lay down the 'pathetic' verdict is just bad form. grow up.

ahhh...that makes a lot more sense. the implication (as i read it) was that you were calling the original poster pathetic...thanks for clearing that up.