married women,does your man...?

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  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
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    I had this whole medium-sized response and my internet connection went out for a second right when I went to post it and I lost everything. :grumble:

    But about earlier, @someonelikemyself, I didn't feel like you wasted my time. And I understand what you mean about not worrying about food. It was like that in the beginning, but then with children, work, bills, etc., we can't just focus on each other and being in love. Not a bad thing though. Just means you have to make different choices.

    Still mad though. I had this whole thing typed out and thought I sounded so smart (ha) and lost it. Argh. :grumble:

    ahhh i'm sorry you lost the paragraph, I HATE it when that happens!!!! thanks for the effort anyway ;D hahaha you do sound smart i get what you mean, the way you used to feel before having kids is something you don't feel AS much, now. As in that phase RIGHT when you got married transformed when you had stress and responsibilities also... kids which means you can't do whatever you want "whenever" you want.
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
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    Mine just told me today not to get too skinny that my boobs disappear!

    interesting! okay now another question to whoever sees this and gets answers LOL please ask your husband as if it's a survey

    WHY DO GUYS show so much importance to actresses and models because of their bodies? like even if they don't admit it... you can see that sparkle in their eyes when they see a hot body like megan fox's or whoever!! ..and now you find out they don't want you thin???? /skinny what ever.
    do you guys get what i mean? ... :)
  • Jovialation
    Jovialation Posts: 7,632 Member
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    Research shows that marriages are more successful and men are more satisfied when the wife's BMI is lower than her husbands.

    hand me a link...or 20. I dont believe this
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
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    Husband doesn't mind my weight, but the happier I am, the happier we are as a couple. I want to go out with him and actually feel hot enough to be at his side. I'm taking a card from his book and slowly realizing that the most attractive feature in a person is not the size of their pants, but the size of their confidence. If you walk like you rock your body, you will.
    I have never seen his eyes light up looking at any actresses, but he's just not a media kind of guy.

    Glad to see you are feeling better, OP :)
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
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    WHY DO GUYS show so much importance to actresses and models because of their bodies? like even if they don't admit it... you can see that sparkle in their eyes when they see a hot body like megan fox's or whoever!! ..and now you find out they don't want you thin???? /skinny what ever.
    do you guys get what i mean? ... :)

    Well, in the same respect, I will just turn that around and say this---

    I surely do enjoy looking at half naked Brad Pitt from time to time and my eyes sparkle when I see his pecs...but Justin doesn't have to look like that because I love him for who he is, how he treats me, and what we are like together...not his looks. Sure, it would be awesome if he looked like that, but I don't care if he ever does or does not look like that because that's lust, not love.

    I'm sure men are the same way. Yeah, Megan Fox is hot. But you, his wife, treat him like a king, you have a lot in common, you have fun together, and he enjoys every second of your company. So what if you look like her or not?
  • jvinmill
    jvinmill Posts: 279 Member
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    Research shows that marriages are more successful and men are more satisfied when the wife's BMI is lower than her husbands.

    hand me a link...or 20. I dont believe this

    I sent in a message to this person a link to the article and researchers I was referring to. I am happy to do the same to anyone else is interested. Note that research requires variability, so of course there will always be exceptions to the majority.
  • valeriebpdx
    valeriebpdx Posts: 499 Member
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    My husband cares deeply. He is taller than I am and extremely fit. I am not super heavy, never have been--my usual weight is on the high side of healthy BMI (I am now like 0.5 into the overweight category)--but I will admit my current weight doesn't look good and he doesn't make any bones about that. He definitely loves me and is faithful, and we have been married a long time, but he doesn't tell me I am beautiful anymore because he doesn't see it. I am a little sad about that but I respect that it's his truth. I can't be indignant because I don't think my body looks good either; I just haven't yet been able to summon the strength to eat well enough to fix it. I try to view the subject as all my issue, but his disapproval does introduce a weird dynamic sometimes, in which I don't want to do what he wants me to do if I am unhappy with him or how he's acting.
  • rm830
    rm830 Posts: 531 Member
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    My husband is happy for me that I'm losing weight, but has told me it never bothered him. Mind you, I'm not just a little overweight. The more I lose though, the more insecure he seems, so I'm not sure how me losing a lot of weight is gonna play out!
    ^^Mine's the same way! He's worried about his own weight now, even though he's always been in shape...he wants to get to the gym at least half as much as I do :)
  • ThinspiredButterfly
    ThinspiredButterfly Posts: 176 Member
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    i guess my fiance cared..said i could lose weight if i wanted to. i cant now since im preggers.
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
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    My husband married me when I was at my heaviest. He loves me for me...not the dress size. Since then we have both lost weight ...and we still love each other.

    We both fell inlove with the inner person...not the packaging
  • TXBelle1174
    TXBelle1174 Posts: 615 Member
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    My husband says he doesnt care. He still chases me and wants me just as much as he ever did. However, I care. My sex drive is shot all to hell and I feel super uncomfortable being unclothed. So he doesnt care about the way my body looks but he does care that I am now so self conscious. He is a big boy though so he doesnt really have room to talk about my weight. Although he has always been his size and I have always been 75 lbs lighter.
  • NakedLunchTime
    NakedLunchTime Posts: 559
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    My husband once told me if i gained 50lbs he would put me in front of our car and drive..causing me to run lol! He was totally just messing around, we have a twisted sense of humor I guess. But I can say that I know my husband would love me for me no matter my size :)
  • NakedLunchTime
    NakedLunchTime Posts: 559
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    My husband once told me if i gained 50lbs he would put me in front of our car and drive..causing me to run lol! He was totally just messing around, we have a twisted sense of humor I guess. But I can say that I know my husband would love me for me no matter my size :)
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
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    Mine says he doesn't care. I was chubby when we met so I know he isn't just into the skinny chicks, but I've put on about 100 lbs since we met 7 years ago (2 kids later too). But he has also put on about 70 pounds (he's still about 100 lbs lighter than me! He used to weigh 150). He gets more winded going up and down the stairs than I do. I'm trying to get him on board with being healthy and exercising. He bought the UFC Trainer game for Kinect when I got the Zumba game, but he's used it twice.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
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    My husband cares deeply. He is taller than I am and extremely fit. I am not super heavy, never have been--my usual weight is on the high side of healthy BMI (I am now like 0.5 into the overweight category)--but I will admit my current weight doesn't look good and he doesn't make any bones about that. He definitely loves me and is faithful, and we have been married a long time, but he doesn't tell me I am beautiful anymore because he doesn't see it. I am a little sad about that but I respect that it's his truth. I can't be indignant because I don't think my body looks good either; I just haven't yet been able to summon the strength to eat well enough to fix it. I try to view the subject as all my issue, but his disapproval does introduce a weird dynamic sometimes, in which I don't want to do what he wants me to do if I am unhappy with him or how he's acting.

    :(
    I'm sorry. This makes me sad.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    My husband and I were both overweight when we got together. We spent months working hard to get in shape together, and I haven't noticed any difference in the way he treats me now that I'm skinnier. In fact we got married when I was at the height of my weight gain and he was close to his. Now that I'm happier with my body I'm literally more comfortable in my skin and I'm sure that shows, but he's the same supportive man that he's always been.

    Turning it around-- he lost a LOT of weight to join the Navy and now he's not skinny but much slimmer and more fit. I was a little afraid when he went to basic that he wouldn't be the same when he got back. Like not just that his personality would change but that he wouldn't have the same body type etc. I love the new him, but he's kept his shape and his personality. I don't know how I would have felt if he'd come back completely chiseled and much hotter than me lol but I like to think I'd just be proud of the progress he'd made, as long as it didn't come with a snotty attitude. I don't think I'd mind if he went back to be overweight, if it weren't for the health problems that go with-- I don't want to lose him to heart disease or diabetes, both of which he was close to before he turned his life around.

    Whenever we talk about my weight loss he just makes me promise to keep my butt, but he also realizes that getting healthy is important to keeping me alive longer, so he's on board. It's really nice to have a partner for the eating right and exercising. I don't know if either of us could have done it if the other wasn't supportive.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    My husband cares deeply. He is taller than I am and extremely fit. I am not super heavy, never have been--my usual weight is on the high side of healthy BMI (I am now like 0.5 into the overweight category)--but I will admit my current weight doesn't look good and he doesn't make any bones about that. He definitely loves me and is faithful, and we have been married a long time, but he doesn't tell me I am beautiful anymore because he doesn't see it. I am a little sad about that but I respect that it's his truth. I can't be indignant because I don't think my body looks good either; I just haven't yet been able to summon the strength to eat well enough to fix it. I try to view the subject as all my issue, but his disapproval does introduce a weird dynamic sometimes, in which I don't want to do what he wants me to do if I am unhappy with him or how he's acting.

    :(
    I'm sorry. This makes me sad.

    Me too. I work with a woman whose husband is the same way, and she is constantly worried about losing weight for him. He didn't want to touch her or even look at her when she was overweight. She had weight-loss surgery that went horribly awry and ended up having most of her stomach removed. She will now have a lifelong battle with malnutrition, but her husband is, in her words, more wiling to be seen with her in public now. That was pretty shocking to me.
  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
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    As a husband that loves everything about his wife I'd just like to say no I couldn't give a dam. my only concern is that she's healthy and happy. I've been married for 21 years and unless she kills me in my sleep, I'll be married till the day I die........................hang on if she kills me in my sleep I'm still married until I die...............lets not share this with her ok??

    If you're only in a relationship due to looks, I can promise it won't last.

    ^^^This. My husband and I started dating when I was at my smallest. I was at my biggest when we got married. He adores me and has told me he doesn't care as long as I'm happy. He know I want to lose weight and he wants me to lose it for me not for him. I know that he loves me for who I am and not what I look like.
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
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    My husband cares deeply. He is taller than I am and extremely fit. I am not super heavy, never have been--my usual weight is on the high side of healthy BMI (I am now like 0.5 into the overweight category)--but I will admit my current weight doesn't look good and he doesn't make any bones about that. He definitely loves me and is faithful, and we have been married a long time, but he doesn't tell me I am beautiful anymore because he doesn't see it. I am a little sad about that but I respect that it's his truth. I can't be indignant because I don't think my body looks good either; I just haven't yet been able to summon the strength to eat well enough to fix it. I try to view the subject as all my issue, but his disapproval does introduce a weird dynamic sometimes, in which I don't want to do what he wants me to do if I am unhappy with him or how he's acting.

    :(
    I'm sorry. This makes me sad.

    Me too. I work with a woman whose husband is the same way, and she is constantly worried about losing weight for him. He didn't want to touch her or even look at her when she was overweight. She had weight-loss surgery that went horribly awry and ended up having most of her stomach removed. She will now have a lifelong battle with malnutrition, but her husband is, in her words, more wiling to be seen with her in public now. That was pretty shocking to me.

    whoa...all this is a bummer through and through!
  • valeriebpdx
    valeriebpdx Posts: 499 Member
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    My husband cares deeply. He is taller than I am and extremely fit. I am not super heavy, never have been--my usual weight is on the high side of healthy BMI (I am now like 0.5 into the overweight category)--but I will admit my current weight doesn't look good and he doesn't make any bones about that. He definitely loves me and is faithful, and we have been married a long time, but he doesn't tell me I am beautiful anymore because he doesn't see it. I am a little sad about that but I respect that it's his truth. I can't be indignant because I don't think my body looks good either; I just haven't yet been able to summon the strength to eat well enough to fix it. I try to view the subject as all my issue, but his disapproval does introduce a weird dynamic sometimes, in which I don't want to do what he wants me to do if I am unhappy with him or how he's acting.

    :(
    I'm sorry. This makes me sad.

    Me too. I work with a woman whose husband is the same way, and she is constantly worried about losing weight for him. He didn't want to touch her or even look at her when she was overweight. She had weight-loss surgery that went horribly awry and ended up having most of her stomach removed. She will now have a lifelong battle with malnutrition, but her husband is, in her words, more wiling to be seen with her in public now. That was pretty shocking to me.

    This last situation bears no resemblance at all to mine. You can be sad for me if you want, but I don't think my husband's unwillingness to pretend 30 lbs of extra fat on me looks good makes this a Lifetime movie. He's right--it doesn't. Our love life is good, he says nice things to me, we go out and have a great time, and he's a good guy. He's just not a liar (he's an engineer, they are kind of unable to lie for social purposes). I actually have a hard time believing there are men who are themselves fit who don't care if their wives are fat. They are just smart enough to keep their mouths shut.

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