Friends on MFP with poor food diaries?

rita27ny

check out my diary and give me ur feedback.

thanks

Thomasm198

to all of you nay sayers if its none of our business then why be on this site looking for help and encouragement??

Because not everyone is on this site looking for help or encouragement. Some people just want a place to track their calories and exercise and make friends.

^^^Basically this.

If I need advice on my food choices I will share the password for my diary with the people that I will ask for advice.

If I was choosing to get all my calories from alcohol and chocolate, that's my choice. I have been here long enough, I know what is good for me and what is a bad choice. I don't need unrequested comments on my choices.


In addition, in the past I've seen people posting in the forums a full description of other peoples diary with comments like "look at what this person is eating. It's not healthy". :noway:

Jeanetta10

I have nothing to hide. My diary is public. I worry about you private ppl. Are we not here to help each othe

Jeanetta10

I keep my diary private as well. This is a site for support for those who need support. I have 2 friends, that's it, because I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CHANGE ME. Worry about yourself. "we" people who have private diaries are doing quite well.

lindzmt22

Clearly the person that keeps repeatedly commenting is trolling. Their goal is 1k calories a day, and they frequently consume 4 cups of cereal with half and half. 1 day for a snack they had 7 teaspoons of sugar. It honestly doesn't matter if they come back here and try to explain why they eat the way they do and even throw in a "You don't know my situation!" (And I honestly don't care what their situation is) because the OP doesn't know all of their friend's situations either, or the reason they eat the way they do.

And notice how this same person who was bragging about having an open diary now has a private one!! LOL. See? It doesn't feel too good to be judged now does it?

I think we are all on our own personal journies; I also agree in the saying to 'live and let live.' Let people live their own lives, and in return live your own. We all screw up, no one is perfect. And what does drawing attention to someone's screw up which they clearly know about (which also isn't anyone's business) do for them? Nothing. It doesn't accomplish anything. People are gonna do what they do regardless, that's life. Just my 2 cents.

wildon883r

I haven't tracked in 3 months and haven't gained or counted calories at all. There isn't any food you can't eat while losing weight as it all adds up. People fail to realize how leaving just one thing out every meal adds up to fat loss at years end. Getting rid of sugar in morning coffee or skipping mayo on a burger or not eating cheese on it in a years time is a huge reduction of calories consumed. If you cut out 300 calories from what you would normally eat during the day which is really simple you will continue to drop over weeks, months, years. All these low fat, low carb , low anything are fad diets destined for failure.

LilMissFoodie

For me, no, if I have a problem with a diary, I keep it to myself.

I do have my diary public to friends though and for the most part I find that my friends are very encouraging and supportive. I do get some comments that I find really odd sometimes.

For example, I usually cook from scratch - good quality, mostly clean ingredients but sometimes people criticise me for having a dinner with say 600 calories (even though it fits within my calorie limit). I personally, do not see how that is unhealthy.

I also sometimes get people commenting that I need to 'drink more water'. Hmm, I just don't log any water at all - did they really think I didn't drink anything all day long?

Another thing I have noticed is a huge bias toward the setting you have for your weight loss. For example, if I set my goal to 2lbs and my calorie goal is therefore 1200 people have no problem with me eating 1500 cals if I burn 300 cals. But if I set my goal to 1lb per week and therefore my calorie goal is 1600 cals then people have a huge problem with me eating 1500 cals if I burn 300 cals. Weird.

All I am saying is, that I think sometimes the advice we give about food in a setting like this is not exactly fair, accurate or helpful.

BeautyFromPain

Eat healthier or I'll unfriend you!!! lol sounds so "high schoolish."

lindzmt22

When I see that, I usually post a topic about how ****ty my friends are eating. It seems to do the trick.

Lol!!!

lindzmt22

And this is why I keep my diary private.

If I'm making the calorie/fat/carb goals, and producing results, the last thing I need is someone telling me I'm DoingItWrong, or otherwise belittling the efforts being make because they have it in their heads they need to judge others efforts so they can feel better about themselves or smug.

Instead of calling your 'friends' out in false concern, perhaps take the more positive method of "Hey, I have this recipe that really tasted good and is low cal. Why don't you try it?" Or even inviting them out for exercise together, if they aren't producing results.

One could even focus on your own weight loss efforts and show even better results, perhaps engendering said others to query how you are doing so great and maybe change things on their own.

I love this!! Perfectly said.

lilyinlove

Mine is open for everyone and I wouldn't mind if one of my friends or fellow MFP users wanted to help point me in the right direction. You are never too old to learn new tricks.

IronmanPanda

I keep my diary private because really... what makes you think you're qualified to give me advice on my food choices?

stevwil41

The only time I comment on anyone else's food diary is if I see something that I think looks interesting that I may want to try, otherwise I don't feel that it's my place as a basically anonymous stranger to tell someone else how to live their life. I also don't unfriend people because I don't agree with their choices. This whole getting healthier thing is hard enough without a relative stranger setting around passing judgement when they don't really know what's going on in someone else's life.

PBJunky

I was lurking through on my MFP friends diaries. Some had very very very very poor food choices but stayed below the calorie intake.

Do you ever approach them about it and tell them that they aren't making the best choices for their body?

I know that you can loose weight eating poorly by staying below your calorie intake but I don't think eating cookies and chocolate for breakfast is right for their body nutritionally and in the long run for loosing weight (carbs+fat = no extra benefits vs a well rounded breakfast consisting of protein and fiber).

I'm not saying its bad to have cheats, I have a nice sorbet for dessert most nights or sometimes a biscuit here and there...but never 500 calories worth of 'junk food' for breakfast

You can have your salads, twigs and berries...it won't save you from getting cancer and all kind of illnesses. This is site is not to force everyone to live like a saint and eating like a bird, but to find self discipline and a balance of eating healthy and indulge in our favorite food.

SCOUSERWENCH

It's nobodies business what other folks eat. I eat what I like, when I like.

lexgem

Not everyone has the same goals, and not everyone has the same circumstances. Sometimes life just makes fast food more conveniant, as long as it's not all the time...

julie4760

It's about living in the real world and to be honest it's about changing our attitude to food and portion control that matters. We should be able to eat what we like but not if it's emotional eating, this I think is where we go wrong. A good all round diet will provide us with the building blocks we need and a nice treat now and again can do no harm it's not about punishing ourselves it's about living.

Matttdvg

Not everyone is trying to be super healthy. Some people just want to lose weight. I try to be reasonably healthy most of the time, but I often have to make compromises and eat less healthy things in relative moderation. If someone were to look over my diary for the last week, there will definitely be things on there that people don't think I should be eating. Yesterday I had half of a large packet of skittles for over 350 calories. Super unhealthy, I know. But sometimes I just need some sugary sweets in my life or I'll go crazy. My dinner was also very large and was over 1000 calories. It was pasta, so not super unhealthy, but some people may still frown upon it. On Friday I had Burgers and chips for dinner. Not big macs or anything like that - relatively healthy spicy burgers. But still some people may think I'm not being healthy enough. Thursday I had 4 beers. On Tuesday and Wednesday I had a fairly significant amount of cheese in my sandwiches at lunch (I normally try to avoid cheese, but I'd run out of ham). And on Monday I had a chicken balti pasty and chips for dinner.

There wasn't a single day last week when I ate perfectly healthily. There wasn't a single day when someone would have looked at my diary and thought I'd not eaten anything bad. Most weeks I am better than that, but that's the way things go sometimes. But I was still under my calorie goal on all but one day (Thursday, when I had the 4 beers). I make sure that when I eat unhealthy things I do so in the right quantities, and I don't go overboard. If I have an unhealthier lunch, I'll try to be healthier at dinner, and visa versa. If I know I'm having beers later on, I'll try to be more healthy with both my meals. The same if I'm treating myself with a sugary treat. I try to keep it somewhat balanced, so I'm not going overboard. I think I'm doing very well, especially considering the amount of crap I used to eat. If anyone tried to tell me otherwise, I'd tell them where they could stick their advice.

The key thing is, everyone is different and everyone has goals that are different. If you've been dieting for many may months (or even years), or if you weren't massively unhealthy before changing your lifestyle, it's a lot easier to be super healthy all of the time. If you've only just started and you used to eat a ton of complete crap, you're not going to be able to suddenly be super healthy with everything you eat. And you might never want to be that healthy. You might just want to be healthier than you used to be. And that is just as commendable and just as much of a challenge as it is for some people to go very healthy.

WifeNMama

Maybe they have a baby that wakes them up at quarter to six in the morning like mine did, and they want to make the best of being awake two hours before the sun like I do, and they baked a ton of cookies yesterday like I did. And a chocolate cookie would be so good with their morning cup of coffee... Because maybe, just maybe, they are stemming off a foul mood so they don't create an e-bay account to try and sell the early bird baby to some poor SAP who thinks "see, babies are so cute and cuddly. Oh look! This one is on sale." It's illegal to sell babies. It's not illegal to have cookies for breakfast.
I'm having a chocolate cookie.

ahedrick99

I wouldn't outright say it but maybe comment on their sodium levels and water intake. If that is an issue, great topic I have been wondering the same.

Iamfit4life

Maybe they have a baby that wakes them up at quarter to six in the morning like mine did, and they want to make the best of being awake two hours before the sun like I do, and they baked a ton of cookies yesterday like I did. And a chocolate cookie would be so good with their morning cup of coffee... Because maybe, just maybe, they are stemming off a foul mood so they don't create an e-bay account to try and sell the early bird baby to some poor SAP who thinks "see, babies are so cute and cuddly. Oh look! This one is on sale." It's illegal to sell babies. It's not illegal to have cookies for breakfast.
I'm having a chocolate cookie.

See the only comment on that I would make is "yummy breakfast" I'm jealous!

fteale

If someone was rude enough to comment on my food diary in a negative way they would be off my friend list the following second. That is incredibly rude. What I eat is no one's business but my own, some days (like today) I have really bad food days, other days all I eat is fruit and vegetables. At certain times of the month I just want carbs carbs and more carbs.

Besides it is abundantly clear that people have radically differing concepts of healthy. I would say anyone eating lots of protein shakes and meat but few vegetables had a shockingly bad diet. Others would say being vegetarian mine was insufficient.

Like I said, it's no one's business but my own what I eat.

lalala06

i wouldn't say anything to them atleast they are putting in the effort in logging in what they are eating and surely have cut down on some junk aswell, they all will learn overtime how to manage food better.. i'am also working on it so yea my diary isn't the best either :noway:

LorinaLynn

The responses here kind of piss me off and I thought people on this site would have a more balanced response...

That says it all right there. You weren't looking for opinions, you were looking for validation, and when people disagreed with your choice to tell people they were eating wrong, it pissed you off.

Well, that's exactly how people will react when you disagree with THEIR choice of what foods they should be eating.

After my first 5k race, I had a jelly donut. And it. was. awesome! Between the race and other exercises I did that day, I burned a ton of calories, and was way under my goal. And I still remember someone commenting on the diary, "Better watch it with the donuts." :ohwell: I'd gone about two months at that point since I last had a really sugary dessert like that, since my husband's birthday party in January. I know a donut isn't health food. I know I'm not going to have them every day, or even every week. I didn't think, "This person is concerned and wants to help me." I thought, "This person needs to get a grip! One frickin' donut isn't going to affect my progress."

I didn't unfriend that person. I don't even remember who it was. But now, my friends' list is full of people who know I'm determined, hard working, and happily indulges in foods I love, and they will congratulate me when a donut or piece of pie or several slices of pizza or Pinnacle Whipped Cream Vodka fits in my calorie goals. :drinker:

BetterWithAge

I had a chocolate bar for breakfast, with a Suar Free Red Bull and the day before that I had couple of Girl Scout cookies with a latte so you might be talking about me (except that we aren't friends ). I still managed to stay within my calories.

I know they weren't good choices, but I did it and had to log it. In the past, I would have hidden it from the world and myself. But starting November 1st I made a choice to be honest with myself and have logged the ugly truth. I cannot fix what is broken if I am not completey honest with myself. I work out hard, but my problem is food. My doctor wants me to cut back on the caffeine and sodium and increase the weight training. In the last six weeks, I have cut back on both by about half and increased my strength training by double.

For December, my goal is to cut back on the processed foods, breads, rice and pasta (which I have already stared doing). I am a binge eater, have a wicked sweet tooth and cannot always stay in control.

writtenINthestars

to all of you nay sayers if its none of our business then why be on this site looking for help and encouragement??

Because not everyone is on this site looking for help or encouragement. Some people just want a place to track their calories and exercise and make friends.

Exactly....unless you are my doctor...I don't really care what your opinion is, especially if I didn't ask for it! :flowerforyou:

BetterWithAge

to all of you nay sayers if its none of our business then why be on this site looking for help and encouragement??

Because not everyone is on this site looking for help or encouragement. Some people just want a place to track their calories and exercise and make friends.

Exactly....unless you are my doctor...I don't really care what your opinion is, especially if I didn't ask for it! :flowerforyou:

Then wouldn't they simply not have friends or keep their diaries private?

loki3981

Personally I like the feed back and try to make comments on my daily diary if it was cheat day or a special occasion so that those reading it know why things were a bit out of whack for me. That being said, I'm also following a rather strict yet healthy system and need all the support/feedback that I can get.

vanessaclarkgbr

And this is why I keep my diary private. :noway:

Exactly. Their life, their diary. If asked, I'll always give my advice but otherwise, nothing to do with anyone except for that person. The sad truth is that when my diary was commented on, in quite a rude way, they hadn't taken into account my spike day by reading up the other days. I quite rightly got offended and ensured that the person knew it.

So, unless you are a qualified nutritionalist or have taken the time and energy to read several pages, or you've been asked (not you personally, anyone on here) it's not for you to comment.

As an additional, I've also noticed that those that shout the loudest on here are the most ill informed. You never find the qualified people on here being aggressive with their sentiments - because they have the confidence in their ability they don't need to hammer it into people. As I say, not a personal remark to you, just bored of people trying to bulldoze others.

writtenINthestars

The responses here kind of piss me off and I thought people on this site would have a more balanced response, I congratulate them when they exercise, or reaching their calorie goal or maintaining or people on recovery, why shouldn't I give honest feedback on a diary that isn't balanced?

Because if they don't ask for it, it's just rude to offer it. Many people are perfectly healthy even though you may see their diets as poor. Chances are, you don't know the whole story of their healthy to begin with. It's just courtesy to respect what others choose for their "balanced" diet....I know that may sound silly, but it's just something you learn with age. What works for you doesn't always work for someone else. That's all....and for anyone who truly knows what it's like to struggle with a food addiction...they probably already know if their choices aren't great but this (eating better, losing weight) isn't something that happens over night. That is why unless you know a person in real life, you should stay quiet until asked for advice.