Friends on MFP with poor food diaries?

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  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    I think not. I just have a problem with closed minded secretive people...My pet peeve. I do not get worked up over this discussion, There are so many more impt things in life to get "worked up" about. LOL
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
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    This isn't even the definition of being closed-minded (or secretive if you want to get extreme). What are you getting at?
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
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    tumblr_lumlw8BsxV1qzozj1.gif
  • charityateet
    charityateet Posts: 576 Member
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    Um, really its none of my effin business unless they specifically ask me.
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
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    I wouldn't say anything unless asked, but that's mostly because it's pretty likely to go in one ear and out the other. Even if you gently suggest making healthier choices, people can get very defensive, especially online. It can be different in person. Food choices are considered a very personal thing. Hence issues that can arise when one family member decides to eat more healthfully than other, the other person often feels like they are being judged. But, if a person says things that aren't asking for advice but provide an opening - like complaining about not losing weight or feeling crappy and stuff like that, that can be a good way in.

    However, if a food diary is open, a person can't be too surprised if people comment on it. If they don't like the comments they can close their diary or defriend the person. And by the way, I agree with your comment about food and drugs.
  • Forme4real2
    Forme4real2 Posts: 24
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    This isn't even the definition of being closed-minded (or secretive if you want to get extreme). What are you getting at?

    agreed

    And, it seems to me you our worked up over it or you wouldnt keep responding.
  • KenziesMomma11
    KenziesMomma11 Posts: 258 Member
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    Unless they ask, its probably better not to voice your opinion.

    I have just started on my weight loss journey and I KNOW that I dont make the BEST choices everyday, but I am still re-training myself to make healthier choices. I also don't want to be unrealistic about what I eat. I am a carb lover and if I cut them out it would be setting myself up to fail BIG TIME. So I am learning how to have the foods I enjoy in a more moderat manner.
  • StartingAnewDay
    StartingAnewDay Posts: 319 Member
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    :laugh: I wonder if any your friends read this and if so how many are left or still have open diaries, and was that the point of the rant/post in the first place... Hmmm Now that's something I'd be interested in knowing...
  • davessweets
    davessweets Posts: 44
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    I add frineds to be supportive. Personally I dont feel by putting down their choices that is helpful. I understanod worrying about them but by getting after them fo the foods they eat it may hinder them wanting to try. I know it would me. What they eat has to be their choice. I dont always make the right choice..but i have 4 kids me and my husband. Plus we live with my parents. I cannot always make good food choices due to the fact I have so many others to feed. SOmetimes circumstances dictate what we may or may eat on any given day. Best bet be supportive and let them know u are!:wink:
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I think not. I just have a problem with closed minded secretive people...My pet peeve. I do not get worked up over this discussion, There are so many more impt things in life to get "worked up" about. LOL

    I am neither closed-minded nor secretive. My diary is private, because it works for me to have it that way. Are you honestly saying that not having an open diary so strangers can see what you eat makes a person closed-minded and secretive?

    I think that is an impressive leap of logic.
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    I am getting at nothing. People are secretive when they keep their diaries private on an eating site. That is defeating the entire purpose. I would never criticize anyones diary nor has anyone criticized mine, but I wouldnt get all worked up if someone did. There are so many things to be upset about. This is not one of them. People have gotten so defensive and I just dont get it. My diary is public..go look at it.
  • Forme4real2
    Forme4real2 Posts: 24
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    :laugh: I wonder if any your friends read this and if so how many are left or still have open diaries, and was that the point of the rant/post in the first place... Hmmm Now that's something I'd be interested in knowing...

    It was probably her way of saying something to them without actually saying anything. I've only been on this site for about 2 wks and I already know that If I post a topic it goes on the news feed so that everyone of my friends can see it.
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    Not at all. I guess I did not type it correctly. Typing is not my forte, Please excuse.
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
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    Sometimes I drink nothing but vodka for breakfast
    I think I love you
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
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    I try to find the positive. I won't comment unless there is something I know they are working on.

    Rude or irritating comments on mine will get you deleted.
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
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    That is defeating the entire purpose.

    And you know everybody's purpose for being here do you?

    No, you don't. Believe it or not, not everyone is here for the same reason! Some are here to simply track cals. Some are here to maintain, some to gain muscle, etc. The purpose of me being here is to track my calories and exercise. That's it. It's nobody elses business. You really need to stop generalising so much.
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
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    I am getting at nothing. People are secretive when they keep their diaries private on an eating site. That is defeating the entire purpose. I would never criticize anyones diary nor has anyone criticized mine, but I wouldnt get all worked up if someone did. There are so many things to be upset about. This is not one of them. People have gotten so defensive and I just dont get it. My diary is public..go look at it.

    Why do you think I want to look at what you ate? You put it in your mouth, chew, swallow. Maybe I would care if you were on my friendlist, but you're just trying to make a point about how open you are about the stuff you eventually poop.

    Someone being secretive does not defeat the purpose of this site. I was on here for a good month with no friends, just tracking my exercise and calories. The website served its purpose. I didn't need anyone to help me keep in line with my goals.
  • Rewinds
    Rewinds Posts: 60
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    :laugh: I wonder if any your friends read this and if so how many are left or still have open diaries, and was that the point of the rant/post in the first place... Hmmm Now that's something I'd be interested in knowing...

    It was probably her way of saying something to them without actually saying anything. I've only been on this site for about 2 wks and I already know that If I post a topic it goes on the news feed so that everyone of my friends can see it.

    Actually you can turn off that function in settings and I've discussed it with this person. I just wanted opinions on what others have done >.> I have not lost any friends because of this also the majority of my friends are in recovery (so they want/expect comments and help with their diary) so I'm probably not use to seeing that type of diary.
  • RAFValentina
    RAFValentina Posts: 1,231 Member
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    Wow, I never knew people would get to defensive and aggressive about it.

    It was an honest question about helping people/motivating people about making better lifestyle choices. I thought the friends option was about giving support and motivating to stay on the task and reach their weight goal.

    Making poor food choices constantly is going to hurt their health >.> And if they were my friends in real life I'd do the same thing >.> Its like smoking excessively or doing drugs, or drinking far too much. My diary is private to the public because I don't know you, and when i friend someone it is like accepting constructive criticism but support at the time time >.>

    The responses here kind of piss me off and I thought people on this site would have a more balanced response, I congratulate them when they exercise, or reaching their calorie goal or maintaining or people on recovery, why shouldn't I give honest feedback on a diary that isn't balanced?

    I agree with this and the comment after:

    But its not about being judgemental people... its about offering support, and advice about the choices they're making... isn't that why you're MFPs with them? To be supportive, offer help, support and advice and help keep them on the straight and narrow and not in denial???

    I know for me I downloaded the app on my phone to help me count my calories more accurately than using an excel spreadsheet. I had no clue that there was a whole community analyzing everyones every move, some people may need that for motivation but whatever it takes for them to reach their goals!

    I don't analyse... per se... i get a lot of ideas from peoples meal choices... but also if someone is whining about their weight loss or something... i'll take a nosey ... I've only ever offered advice once and it was offered before being told and was accepted and received well. I wish more people would analyse mine!
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
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    If someone asks for your advice, cool. Give it to them.

    If you were to comment on my diary about something terrible in it, there's 100% chance I will say to myself, verbatim, "I'm not a retard, I understand that I made ****ty choices today. Thanks for pointing them out to me, asshat." I keep my diary open to my friends so I know I'll be accountable. If I know they can see it, I make better choices in general.

    But there's still no need to say "Um, you ate 568 double-stuff oreos today. You know it's bad, right?" No crap.

    If they're consistently making bad choices and seeing no progress and you're worried, maybe drop them a PM of concern. If they slipped up one day, don't be a jerk and point out what I'm sure they are already well aware of.

    If you notice my diary exploding on a Friday, just turn around. Fridays are Fun Food Friday, and **** gets crazy up in my place.


    ETA: I'm not saying you're a jerk or anything. This is how my hypothetical food diary situations go down.

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