Friends on MFP with poor food diaries?

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  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
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    I think the only time it's OK to give feedback is if someone actually asks for it. Otherwise, I think it's out of line. If one of my friends gave me her unsolicited, negative feedback about my food diary, I'd just take her off my contact list.

    My diary is 'friends only'.
  • caseyp1122
    caseyp1122 Posts: 79 Member
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    Eat healthier or I'll unfriend you!!! lol sounds so "high schoolish."
  • cajunlady56
    cajunlady56 Posts: 151 Member
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    I was lurking through on my MFP friends diaries. Some had very very very very poor food choices but stayed below the calorie intake.

    Do you ever approach them about it and tell them that they aren't making the best choices for their body?

    I know that you can loose weight eating poorly by staying below your calorie intake but I don't think eating cookies and chocolate for breakfast is right for their body nutritionally and in the long run for loosing weight (carbs+fat = no extra benefits vs a well rounded breakfast consisting of protein and fiber).

    I'm not saying its bad to have cheats, I have a nice sorbet for dessert most nights or sometimes a biscuit here and there...but never 500 calories worth of 'junk food' for breakfast D:

    I don't say anything if not asked to comment. However, I don't post on their status saying things like good job or great day. I usually just don't comment all all on their diary.
  • kalexander2005
    kalexander2005 Posts: 223 Member
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    This is easy. NO. let folks learn on their own. NO.

    Ditto! We are all on a journey side by side, but each person has to make their own choices if they want their success to stick. Best to be a great example and an encouragement along the way. IMHO

    :)
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    I was lurking through on my MFP friends diaries. Some had very very very very poor food choices but stayed below the calorie intake.

    Do you ever approach them about it and tell them that they aren't making the best choices for their body?

    I know that you can loose weight eating poorly by staying below your calorie intake but I don't think eating cookies and chocolate for breakfast is right for their body nutritionally and in the long run for loosing weight (carbs+fat = no extra benefits vs a well rounded breakfast consisting of protein and fiber).

    I'm not saying its bad to have cheats, I have a nice sorbet for dessert most nights or sometimes a biscuit here and there...but never 500 calories worth of 'junk food' for breakfast D:


    That's NOT YOUR BUSINESS! Each person has Health Goals...YOU Do NOT get to determine those for anyone but YOU! Also, some people have to take things 1 Step at a Time...First, lowering calories to lose weight, THEN, maybe other things...

    Get off of Your High Horse...Do YOU and let them Do them. You Do NOT have the Power to CHANGE anyone. RESPECT others right to make Their Choices; You may NOT like their Choices but if You believe that YOU have the Right to make YOUR Choices, give them the Same Benefit!
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
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    When I see that, I usually post a topic about how ****ty my friends are eating. It seems to do the trick.

    Topics make things better.
  • CBranson0503
    CBranson0503 Posts: 95
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    And this is why I keep my diary private. :noway:

    Mine is private too, no need to share

    I had my diary open to "friends only" now it's private because of this topic.
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
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    Remember, we aren't all here to get uber healthy. Some of us just want to lose some fat, and make that journey as easy and as bearable as possible.

    We know what we eat isn't the best, and we accept that.

    Would you go up to a smoker and tell him the ciggies are bad for him? Of course not. They already know.
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
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    That's NOT YOUR BUSINESS! Each person has Health Goals...YOU Do NOT get to determine those for anyone but YOU! Also, some people have to take things 1 Step at a Time...First, lowering calories to lose weight, THEN, maybe other things...

    Get off of Your High Horse...Do YOU and let them Do them. You Do NOT have the Power to CHANGE anyone. RESPECT others right to make Their Choices; You may NOT like their Choices but if You believe that YOU have the Right to make YOUR Choices, give them the Same Benefit!

    Whoa. Chill out. o.o Got all caps lock and stuff.
  • Crystal817
    Crystal817 Posts: 2,021 Member
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    If you don't agree with what they are eating, unfriend them or get over it. No one is perfect.
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    She is just trying to help people. We are on this site to help and support each other. I dont get why you think it is rude.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    Yes. You should probably tell them all what you think about their diaries. I'm sure they will appreciate how helpful you are.

    Let us know how it goes. :smile:


    SARCASM...Nice!
  • emilyc92
    emilyc92 Posts: 182 Member
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    You don't know for sure what they are really eating. I can't speak for everyone, but I sometimes make recipes on here with really decadent sounding names, but they are actually healthy foods. That way I can sort of trick my mind into thinking I'm eating dessert when I'm really not. For example, I have one recipe that I call "Chocolate Cream Pie" but it's really pureed zucchini, cocoa powder, and a little truvia. Tastes good, sounds like dessert, and it's actually really healthy!
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
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    I made my diary private for this reason. Thanks for reaffirming my decision to do so.

    I have taken nutrition classes. I'm in a health career. I'm not stupid. My husband has done a "ton of research". He thinks he knows the best way. I think I know the best way. They are not the same. We disagree with each other. He lost a ton of weight really quick. I'm losing it slowly, but still making progress. He thinks he is doing it the healthiest way. I think I'm doing it the healthiest way. Does that make either of us right?

    So my advice here is to be careful, because even though you think you are making the "best choices" you may not be. And sure, junk is junk, but if that's what is helping them reach their goals by "cheating" on breakfast, more power to them! They will either be successful or not, and if they are not they will either give up or change. Let them do their thing.
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    Relax, you are reading too much into it.
  • RAFValentina
    RAFValentina Posts: 1,231 Member
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    I think you can say, "Hey, I was looking at your food diary and I thought I'd let you know of some ideas I think might help improve some of it if you'd like?! You can tell me to shove off if you like and I won't be offended!"

    I did this and it worked and whereas some of my points were defended against or disregarded, they did seem to appreciate I bothered to look and help them out... and in fact...I've seen some of the improvements.

    I think tact and seeing what kind of person they are from their updates and profile goes a long way to gauging whether its appropriate or not... always give them the opportunity to say no before you spout off.

    I did the above and they did ask for my opinions so I did give them a long well thought out e-mail with examples and NOT based on one day or even one week. I also related it to their stated goals and offered constructive criticism and suggestions instead of their current choices.
  • Forme4real2
    Forme4real2 Posts: 24
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    I don't always make the best choices and I know that. I don't want my MFP friends calling me out. Today for example I had a good breakfast but then got so busy cleaning my house that I forgot about lunch and BAM now it's dinner and all I have is leftover pizza. I know I'll be under my Cal's but my food choices were bad. I don't need ANYONE telling me that. It's MY diary, MY body and unless they/YOU want to come to my house and cook for me and my family. You don't get a say in what I do.
  • jmgcummins
    jmgcummins Posts: 93 Member
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    Your heart is in the right place, but as you can see by the responses here, it would just be taken the wrong way and people would get defensive.

    If someone as for advice, give it, if not best to just be supportive where you can, and be quiet when you can't.

    This is my advice for online communities anyways.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    She is just trying to help people. We are on this site to help and support each other. I dont get why you think it is rude.

    To Me, if a person is doing well (losing weight) let them continue THEIR JOURNEY! WHO is s GURU about Wt Loss!? NO ONE! NO ONE, NO ONE!!!
  • RAFValentina
    RAFValentina Posts: 1,231 Member
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    Remember, we aren't all here to get uber healthy. Some of us just want to lose some fat, and make that journey as easy and as bearable as possible.

    We know what we eat isn't the best, and we accept that.

    Would you go up to a smoker and tell him the ciggies are bad for him? Of course not. They already know.

    I would... especially if they;re in my airspace! I don't want their toxic fumes!

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