Friends on MFP with poor food diaries?

LuciaLongIsland

Why are you on here? To my knowledge it is supposed to be to help one another. If you want to be a loner, be a loner, but dont fault ppl who try to help. All you are doing is criticizing people who help!!! How does that help anyone?

Rewinds

Having questionable things in your diet is the equivalent to drug use? lol really?

Yes, they both damage your body. If someone is eating fatty foods 7 days a week and not balancing in the long run you are going to get health problems. Food and health are serious topics, I'm really not joking about it.

t_rog

People get over it!!! What are you hiding?

I'm pretty sure no one's "hiding" anything. It's just fairly pretentious to think that other people want you to tell them what they're doing wrong. People are here doing the best they can. If they eat "junk", trust me they know it. And it's usually intentional. I have junk a lot. It keeps me sane. This site isn't for people to judge or mother others. Like someone else said, we're all adults. We make our own choices.

Yakisoba

Why are you on here? To my knowledge it is supposed to be to help one another. If you want to be a loner, be a loner, but dont fault ppl who try to help. All you are doing is criticizing people who help!!! How does that help anyone?

You need to quote who you're talking to.

StartingAnewDay

And this is why I keep my diary private.

If I'm making the calorie/fat/carb goals, and producing results, the last thing I need is someone telling me I'm DoingItWrong, or otherwise belittling the efforts being make because they have it in their heads they need to judge others efforts so they can feel better about themselves or smug.

Instead of calling your 'friends' out in false concern, perhaps take the more positive method of "Hey, I have this recipe that really tasted good and is low cal. Why don't you try it?" Or even inviting them out for exercise together, if they aren't producing results.

One could even focus on your own weight loss efforts and show even better results, perhaps engendering said others to query how you are doing so great and maybe change things on their own.

This is the post I LOVED.. sorry..

RAFValentina

Wow, I never knew people would get to defensive and aggressive about it.

It was an honest question about helping people/motivating people about making better lifestyle choices. I thought the friends option was about giving support and motivating to stay on the task and reach their weight goal.

Making poor food choices constantly is going to hurt their health >.> And if they were my friends in real life I'd do the same thing >.> Its like smoking excessively or doing drugs, or drinking far too much. My diary is private to the public because I don't know you, and when i friend someone it is like accepting constructive criticism but support at the time time >.>

The responses here kind of piss me off and I thought people on this site would have a more balanced response, I congratulate them when they exercise, or reaching their calorie goal or maintaining or people on recovery, why shouldn't I give honest feedback on a diary that isn't balanced?

I agree with this and the comment after:

But its not about being judgemental people... its about offering support, and advice about the choices they're making... isn't that why you're MFPs with them? To be supportive, offer help, support and advice and help keep them on the straight and narrow and not in denial???

caseyp1122

Having questionable things in your diet is the equivalent to drug use? lol really?

Yes, they both damage your body. If someone is eating fatty foods 7 days a week and not balancing in the long run you are going to get health problems. Food and health are serious topics, I'm really not joking about it.

I respectfully disagree and find the analogy to be quite ridiculous but regardless, it's very interesting and thought provoking to hear your thoughts!

Forme4real2

Mostly I think what got us all worked up was your first line, "I was lurking through on my MFP friends diaries. Some had very very very very poor food choices but stayed below the calorie intake."

"Lurking" was probably the wrong word to use cuz it sounds more like you were trying to find the bad.

We as people don't want to be judged by others. And, the image you put in my mind was that you were going on to your friends diaries to judge them, not to help. I use the diaries to get ideas for myself not to judge what they eat.

IronmanPanda

She is just trying to help people. We are on this site to help and support each other. I dont get why you think it is rude.

To Me, if a person is doing well (losing weight) let them continue THEIR JOURNEY! WHO is s GURU about Wt Loss!? NO ONE! NO ONE, NO ONE!!!

I'm sensing a lot of anger here... and I am only saying this because I care - there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing. :flowerforyou:

Contrarian

Wow, I never knew people would get to defensive and aggressive about it.

It was an honest question about helping people/motivating people about making better lifestyle choices. I thought the friends option was about giving support and motivating to stay on the task and reach their weight goal.

Making poor food choices constantly is going to hurt their health >.> And if they were my friends in real life I'd do the same thing >.> Its like smoking excessively or doing drugs, or drinking far too much. My diary is private to the public because I don't know you, and when i friend someone it is like accepting constructive criticism but support at the time time >.>

The responses here kind of piss me off and I thought people on this site would have a more balanced response, I congratulate them when they exercise, or reaching their calorie goal or maintaining or people on recovery, why shouldn't I give honest feedback on a diary that isn't balanced?

I agree with this and the comment after:

But its not about being judgemental people... its about offering support, and advice about the choices they're making... isn't that why you're MFPs with them? To be supportive, offer help, support and advice and help keep them on the straight and narrow and not in denial???

I get what you're saying, but if I feel like I need advice, I am capable of asking. Not everyone needs or wants that level of support.

LuciaLongIsland

NO ONE claimed to be GURU!!! You people are way tooo defensive for me. I am always open to suggestions, It is up to me to take it or not. I do not take it personally because I know the person was trying to help, not hurt. Get over it!

McMehu

If they are entering it in their diary they know they ate it. the numbers can speak for themselves. if they ask for help DEFINITLY help them but otherwise if they are hitting their personal goals than that is their business. At least they are logging, right?

I don't always make the healthiest choices... I am fine with constructive criticism once and a while but at the end of the day it is MY choice what I eat and I shouldnt be nervous to enter truthfully what I ate because someone is going to scold me. I scold myself enough..

If they ask for help or suggestions, then yes, definitely help them.. but if they ate 1300 calories of butter for the day that is their choice and they will eventually probably look up more filling and healthier choices..

you could always post recipes and ideas of healthy choices on your own hoping they will take general advice...



so yeah long story short.. if you are going to criticize be careful because it is not always welcome and often people already know.. sometimes they dont but there are often gentler ways of helping

SimpleStepsHealthCoach

I was lurking through on my MFP friends diaries. Some had very very very very poor food choices but stayed below the calorie intake.

Do you ever approach them about it and tell them that they aren't making the best choices for their body?

I know that you can loose weight eating poorly by staying below your calorie intake but I don't think eating cookies and chocolate for breakfast is right for their body nutritionally and in the long run for loosing weight (carbs+fat = no extra benefits vs a well rounded breakfast consisting of protein and fiber).

I'm not saying its bad to have cheats, I have a nice sorbet for dessert most nights or sometimes a biscuit here and there...but never 500 calories worth of 'junk food' for breakfast

The only time I would mention something is if any of them said, "I am under everyday but I am still not loosing weight, or, I don't feel healthy". Otherwise I don't interfere with their choices.

caseyp1122

Wow, I never knew people would get to defensive and aggressive about it.

It was an honest question about helping people/motivating people about making better lifestyle choices. I thought the friends option was about giving support and motivating to stay on the task and reach their weight goal.

Making poor food choices constantly is going to hurt their health >.> And if they were my friends in real life I'd do the same thing >.> Its like smoking excessively or doing drugs, or drinking far too much. My diary is private to the public because I don't know you, and when i friend someone it is like accepting constructive criticism but support at the time time >.>

The responses here kind of piss me off and I thought people on this site would have a more balanced response, I congratulate them when they exercise, or reaching their calorie goal or maintaining or people on recovery, why shouldn't I give honest feedback on a diary that isn't balanced?

I agree with this and the comment after:

But its not about being judgemental people... its about offering support, and advice about the choices they're making... isn't that why you're MFPs with them? To be supportive, offer help, support and advice and help keep them on the straight and narrow and not in denial???

I know for me I downloaded the app on my phone to help me count my calories more accurately than using an excel spreadsheet. I had no clue that there was a whole community analyzing everyones every move, some people may need that for motivation but whatever it takes for them to reach their goals!

t_rog

I have my diary open for friends only. I did not open it for criticism on what I choose to eat. I opened it because I know people are naturally curious as to what others eat. Who knows, they may like what they see and decide to try it themselves. I don't make comments about anyone's mealplans. We are all adults. If someone wants advice they'll ask.

Agree! My diary is open for friends because I know i'm curious about what others eat, so people are probably curious about what I eat. I also like to get meal ideas.

Yakisoba

NO ONE claimed to be GURU!!! You people are way tooo defensive for me. I am always open to suggestions, It is up to me to take it or not. I do not take it personally because I know the person was trying to help, not hurt. Get over it!

I wish you'd get over this thread.

thirtyandthriving

Could someone analyze my diary and tell me what you think?

HMonsterX

When I smoked tons of people told me how disgusting I was. I see nothing wrong with helping each other. I have had many ppl give me advice, I am grateful for that.

And you didn't already know they were bad for you, made you smell, etc? That was new and useful information?

Really?


The fact is if someone is logging there food chances are they KNOW what they are doing, and they know that something like chocolate for breakfast isn't the best thing to have.

However, maybe they are just trying to be healthier than before, and change a few things at a time. Not everyone can eat rabbit food and avocados all day long straight away.

caseyp1122

NO ONE claimed to be GURU!!! You people are way tooo defensive for me. I am always open to suggestions, It is up to me to take it or not. I do not take it personally because I know the person was trying to help, not hurt. Get over it!

I say this respectfully, but it sounds like your the only one getting worked up over this.

LuciaLongIsland

No.

LuciaLongIsland

I think not. I just have a problem with closed minded secretive people...My pet peeve. I do not get worked up over this discussion, There are so many more impt things in life to get "worked up" about. LOL

Yakisoba

This isn't even the definition of being closed-minded (or secretive if you want to get extreme). What are you getting at?

IronmanPanda

charityateet

Um, really its none of my effin business unless they specifically ask me.

veganbaum

I wouldn't say anything unless asked, but that's mostly because it's pretty likely to go in one ear and out the other. Even if you gently suggest making healthier choices, people can get very defensive, especially online. It can be different in person. Food choices are considered a very personal thing. Hence issues that can arise when one family member decides to eat more healthfully than other, the other person often feels like they are being judged. But, if a person says things that aren't asking for advice but provide an opening - like complaining about not losing weight or feeling crappy and stuff like that, that can be a good way in.

However, if a food diary is open, a person can't be too surprised if people comment on it. If they don't like the comments they can close their diary or defriend the person. And by the way, I agree with your comment about food and drugs.

Forme4real2

This isn't even the definition of being closed-minded (or secretive if you want to get extreme). What are you getting at?

agreed

And, it seems to me you our worked up over it or you wouldnt keep responding.

KenziesMomma11

Unless they ask, its probably better not to voice your opinion.

I have just started on my weight loss journey and I KNOW that I dont make the BEST choices everyday, but I am still re-training myself to make healthier choices. I also don't want to be unrealistic about what I eat. I am a carb lover and if I cut them out it would be setting myself up to fail BIG TIME. So I am learning how to have the foods I enjoy in a more moderat manner.

StartingAnewDay

:laugh: I wonder if any your friends read this and if so how many are left or still have open diaries, and was that the point of the rant/post in the first place... Hmmm Now that's something I'd be interested in knowing...

davessweets

I add frineds to be supportive. Personally I dont feel by putting down their choices that is helpful. I understanod worrying about them but by getting after them fo the foods they eat it may hinder them wanting to try. I know it would me. What they eat has to be their choice. I dont always make the right choice..but i have 4 kids me and my husband. Plus we live with my parents. I cannot always make good food choices due to the fact I have so many others to feed. SOmetimes circumstances dictate what we may or may eat on any given day. Best bet be supportive and let them know u are!

Contrarian

I think not. I just have a problem with closed minded secretive people...My pet peeve. I do not get worked up over this discussion, There are so many more impt things in life to get "worked up" about. LOL

I am neither closed-minded nor secretive. My diary is private, because it works for me to have it that way. Are you honestly saying that not having an open diary so strangers can see what you eat makes a person closed-minded and secretive?

I think that is an impressive leap of logic.