Friends on MFP with poor food diaries?

tonyavanwinkle2

Good grief! It was just a question!! Holy cow, you need to chill.

veganbaum

to all of you nay sayers if its none of our business then why be on this site looking for help and encouragement??

Because not everyone is on this site looking for help or encouragement. Some people just want a place to track their calories and exercise and make friends.

Exactly....unless you are my doctor...I don't really care what your opinion is, especially if I didn't ask for it! :flowerforyou:

Then wouldn't they simply not have friends or keep their diaries private?

This, right here.

writtenINthestars

to all of you nay sayers if its none of our business then why be on this site looking for help and encouragement??

Because not everyone is on this site looking for help or encouragement. Some people just want a place to track their calories and exercise and make friends.

Exactly....unless you are my doctor...I don't really care what your opinion is, especially if I didn't ask for it! :flowerforyou:

Then wouldn't they simply not have friends or keep their diaries private?

C'mon..this site is more than just "yay, you burned some calories!" It's a social website and that plays a huge aspect in it and everyone uses the website differently....If you want someone's opinion, don't you generally ask for it? When it's given and wasnt' asked for, it can be taken in a very negative way. I don't have friends on here so they can tell me what I should eat...they know nothing about my history, my healthy,my life ect. The problem is that many people don't know when giving free advice is and isn't appropriate....calling out anyone randomly about their food choices is definately something that can be inappropriate. Many people, especially if they are new, don't even realize how to make their diary private and don't feel the need to do so until someone criticizes them....atleast that's what I've seen on here. If the OP wants to say something, she has every right too but the point is...she may not like what the person says after.

rainbowbow

As long as they are meeting their macros and micros and staying under their calories who cares? And quite frankly making comments to anyone about it will probably only deter their weight loss and make them feel like a failure. This is EXACTLY why I keep my diary private! Everyone always wants to put in their two cents! Maybe trying to compensate for their own insecurities about their diet? Also, does it piss anyone else off when people try and act like doctors or experts when clearly they are not?

veganbaum

to all of you nay sayers if its none of our business then why be on this site looking for help and encouragement??

Because not everyone is on this site looking for help or encouragement. Some people just want a place to track their calories and exercise and make friends.

Exactly....unless you are my doctor...I don't really care what your opinion is, especially if I didn't ask for it! :flowerforyou:

Then wouldn't they simply not have friends or keep their diaries private?

C'mon..this site is more than just "yay, you burned some calories!" It's a social website and that plays a huge aspect in it and everyone uses the website differently....If you want someone's opinion, don't you generally ask for it? When it's given and wasnt' asked for, it can be taken in a very negative way. I don't have friends on here so they can tell me what I should eat...they know nothing about my history, my healthy,my life ect. The problem is that many people don't know when giving free advice is and isn't appropriate....calling out anyone randomly about their food choices is definately something that can be inappropriate.

To a certain extent I agree with you, but that's why I keep my diary private. I have issues with binge eating and am not yet ready to open my diary, but it is a actually a goal of mine to get a place where I feel comfortable opening it up so that I can get feedback on it. I'm just not ready for that yet, so I keep it private because if it was open, I wouldn't expect people to comment on it all the time, but I wouldn't be hurt if they did.

misty8parker

No one wants to be policed about what they eat. And most people are aware of "good" choices verses "bad" choices. We want to encourage openess and honesty so that we can first be honest with ourselves. I would have to say its no one's business and that we really don't know the whole picture anyway.

226Muriel

I am really glad to see this posting....

Of course everyone wants their friends to eat/exercise in a healthy way, me included. Learning that if it is not on my side of the street leave it alone....In the past, I would have jumped in to "help" when it was not asked for....

So, thank you for reminding me to stay on my side of the street, unless that I am asked.

misty8parker

I know, right? Awesome!!

misty8parker

For real. Do it. See how it goes.

writtenINthestars

to all of you nay sayers if its none of our business then why be on this site looking for help and encouragement??

Because not everyone is on this site looking for help or encouragement. Some people just want a place to track their calories and exercise and make friends.

Exactly....unless you are my doctor...I don't really care what your opinion is, especially if I didn't ask for it! :flowerforyou:

Then wouldn't they simply not have friends or keep their diaries private?

C'mon..this site is more than just "yay, you burned some calories!" It's a social website and that plays a huge aspect in it and everyone uses the website differently....If you want someone's opinion, don't you generally ask for it? When it's given and wasnt' asked for, it can be taken in a very negative way. I don't have friends on here so they can tell me what I should eat...they know nothing about my history, my healthy,my life ect. The problem is that many people don't know when giving free advice is and isn't appropriate....calling out anyone randomly about their food choices is definately something that can be inappropriate.

To a certain extent I agree with you, but that's why I keep my diary private. I have issues with binge eating and am not yet ready to open my diary, but it is a actually a goal of mine to get a place where I feel comfortable opening it up so that I can get feedback on it. I'm just not ready for that yet, so I keep it private because if it was open, I wouldn't expect people to comment on it all the time, but I wouldn't be hurt if they did.

Well we definately do agree on some points.

But the one obvious point we don't agree on is...while you wouldn't be hurt if someone commented, others may be. You really just never know. Obviously if it's a member you talk to every single day and have a close relationship and feel they would be open to your comments, comment away! But a friend you say hi to here and there...you have to be prepared for them to be offended. Both reactions are just human nature, I suppose.

Newf77

After my first 5k race, I had a jelly donut. And it. was. awesome! Between the race and other exercises I did that day, I burned a ton of calories, and was way under my goal. And I still remember someone commenting on the diary, "Better watch it with the donuts."[/quote]

In my best Homer Simpson voice "Donuts".

dalgirly

For me it totally depends. I mean,

I like it when my bf points out that I've had crappy food for a few days, as that is nice and constructive. And he knows me well.

But for someone I have yet to trust to go lurking through my profile to tell me I suck at eating, I don't know if I'd appreciate it as much. Not to say someone here can't do that, but I need to at least gain some form of trust with that person first.

My issue with it mainly is that you don't know whats going on.

If you looked at my diary right now -- you'd see terrible things. But on Thursday its beer/wings/hockey night with my parents. And that I'm not giving up. On Friday at work, it was a friends last day before going on maternity leave, so we all went for thai food. And then on Sat, it was a girls day of cooking meals to freeze for the winter (all healthy meals at that), but we always have beer while we work, and go for dinner afterwards. Its once in a blue moon, but that's the kinda week I had. Its not an every week thing, but it ended up all happening in this week. (and that's why this week I've got to do a little extra exercise).

Forme4real2

Maybe they have a baby that wakes them up at quarter to six in the morning like mine did, and they want to make the best of being awake two hours before the sun like I do, and they baked a ton of cookies yesterday like I did. And a chocolate cookie would be so good with their morning cup of coffee... Because maybe, just maybe, they are stemming off a foul mood so they don't create an e-bay account to try and sell the early bird baby to some poor SAP who thinks "see, babies are so cute and cuddly. Oh look! This one is on sale." It's illegal to sell babies. It's not illegal to have cookies for breakfast.
I'm having a chocolate cookie.

See the only comment on that I would make is "yummy breakfast" I'm jealous!

DITO

RunningAddict

No I wouldn't its ok to make suggestions if you do it in the right way but different people have different struggles what is easy for you might not be so easy for another person. Until you have been in their shoes its really unfair to judge.

LorinaLynn

The responses here kind of piss me off and I thought people on this site would have a more balanced response...

That says it all right there. You weren't looking for opinions, you were looking for validation, and when people disagreed with your choice to tell people they were eating wrong, it pissed you off.

Well, that's exactly how people will react when you disagree with THEIR choice of what foods they should be eating.

I hate to be the d-bag who quotes herself, but I didn't want this lost at the bottom of the last page.

KenziesMomma11

I just ate a few slices of turkey and I've got blueberry muffins baking in the oven right now....I also had quite a few calories left over yesterday....

heykatieben

I vote for leading by example. Make your diary open, eat clean foods. Your friends will notice.

mrsmellymac

Sometimes I drink nothing but vodka for breakfast

:laugh:

Melmade

Um... I think advice like that would upset me. I am doing well to log things, even the bad stuff. I also write notes to see how I'm feeling those days and look back to check my diet vs. mood & weight, etc. That sort of advice would deter me from logging. :brokenheart:

StatutoryGrape

People get over it!!! What are you hiding?

I have nothing to hide, but I don't need so called "friends" telling me how to eat. I started keeping track of what I ate to learn about myself and see where my eating habits are tripping me up from my goals. I don't care what anyone else eats on here. The people I have added as my MFP friends are still able to support and help me without seeing what I am eating.

This. I have a bit of a social phobia and don't really like people watching me eat to begin with, so having a public diary would be, for me, like being forced to eat in public 24/7 with a hundred sets of eyes on me. Freaky, and stressful. I log food because I'm curious about where I stand, and I know I can hold myself accountable. I don't need someone nitpicking my diary if I slip up here and there...all it would do is make me feel terrible about myself, and that's not what I need right now.

veganbaum

Well we definately do agree on some points.

But the one obvious point we don't agree on is...while you wouldn't be hurt if someone commented, others may be. You really just never know. Obviously if it's a member you talk to every single day and have a close relationship and feel they would be open to your comments, comment away! But a friend you say hi to here and there...you have to be prepared for them to be offended. Both reactions are just human nature, I suppose.

Very true, but that's why there is the option for a private diary. If you have a diary open to friends, seems like you can't be too surprised if they comment on it. If they tend to be more direct than others might be, there's always the option to delete them or just close your diary.

GTOgirl1969

And this is why I keep my diary private. :noway:

Amen to that! I was sticking to 1200 calories and NOT eating any of them back...and not losing an ounce. I've started logging EVERYTHING that I eat, and eating back my exercise calories to within 100-200 at the end of the day, and I've finally seen the numbers on the scale moving in the right direction.

LorinaLynn

It may be snarky to notice, but neither the OP nor the "get over it! / what are you hiding?" lady have public diaries.

Yakisoba

It may be snarky to notice, but neither the OP nor the "get over it! / what are you hiding?" lady have public diaries.

The second one did have a public diary, but closed it when people commented on how she eats nothing but Cheerios for every meal and had a maximum of 1,000 calories set for one day.

Rewinds

It may be snarky to notice, but neither the OP nor the "get over it! / what are you hiding?" lady have public diaries.

My diary is private to the public, I don't know them
My diary is open to friends, I trust their responses and have goals to set with them. I get to know them. Everyones MFP experience is different, and hey, MAYBE you friend people for different reasons.

I think people here just took it way out of proportion. I wanted to HELP this person, not by monitoring what they eat. I can understand a cheat day here and there but this is constant bad food.

There are a couple of reason I wanted to approach them (which I did regardless of the responses on this thread because honestly some people made this out to be nip-picking on a few items). There were reasons that I did.

1 - Benefits of a Balanced Diet
Eating unhealthy food for breakfast such as high carbs and high fat meals will leave you hungry faster than having high protein meals. All i suggested was instead of cookies were to boil, or pan fry (no oil) some eggs and lean bacon or some packet ham instead of cookies + cake for breakfast. They aren't lifestyle choices and eating those types of food will just leave you more hungry and make it harder to stay within calorie intake because hey...if you are more hungry you're going to want more calories in a day.

2- Health problems from eating fatty foods.
Higher blood pressure, higher cholesterol, higher blood sugar levels, arterial inflammation. All lead to problems such as kidney, liver and heart problems and can make exercise 10x harder (clogged + inflamed arteries make pumping blood harder)

3- I'm not talking about some random stranger I've developed a relationship with this person. I think people assumed that I had no idea about this person, I know about her kids, about her family and her daily life and struggles and in return she knows mine >_>

This was an honest question in regards to your health but everyone just jumped to the conclusion that I was snooping. I felt that the MFP community in general were just looking at it in the wrong way...but I don't know if I'll be coming here for advice anymore :P

ChrissyLu723

And this is why I keep my diary private. :noway:

me too! I don't always eat foods that some people would think is right, BUT it works for me and I keep within my calories. I would never, ever confront someone on the foods the choose to eat, I feel it is what they want, and they are logging it.

cofakid

I think that its one of those dicey situations where a lot of ppl r likely to get offended and a few might find it useful, but u r more likel to offend them so its best not to.

alot have ppl have already commented with my mindset and i think it can be very disouraging to be told your not doing things right.

If ppl really want to know where and how they can make healthier choices they will ask, and if they ask then go for it.

personally i only comment on diarys when someone completes there day and i only say positive things. eg if they have maccas and go under i congraulate them for staying under even with maccas, and if they have a really great day i will say so.

If someone asks me or post a forum topic i might make suggestions but otherwise its there diary and everyone is at different stages with different mindsets and you just have to let them be. They might be eating something THINKING its healthy and not realising, but the off chance of that is not worth offending someone and possibly derailing there efforts.

even when i do ask for advice the last thing i need is someone saying "woah you should not have had that chocolate" i know that already...

thats my opinion anyway

doornumber03

I think that its one of those dicey situations where a lot of ppl r likely to get offended and a few might find it useful, but u r more likel to offend them so its best not to.

alot have ppl have already commented with my mindset and i think it can be very disouraging to be told your not doing things right.

If ppl really want to know where and how they can make healthier choices they will ask, and if they ask then go for it.

personally i only comment on diarys when someone completes there day and i only say positive things. eg if they have maccas and go under i congraulate them for staying under even with maccas, and if they have a really great day i will say so.

If someone asks me or post a forum topic i might make suggestions but otherwise its there diary and everyone is at different stages with different mindsets and you just have to let them be. They might be eating something THINKING its healthy and not realising, but the off chance of that is not worth offending someone and possibly derailing there efforts.

even when i do ask for advice the last thing i need is someone saying "woah you should not have had that chocolate" i know that already...

thats my opinion anyway

very well put!

LuciaLongIsland

It may be snarky to notice, but neither the OP nor the "get over it! / what are you hiding?" lady have public diaries.

The second one did have a public diary, but closed it when people commented on how she eats nothing but Cheerios for every meal and had a maximum of 1,000 calories set for one day.

LuciaLongIsland

I am flattered that you are so interested in my diary. Yes, I did eat cheerios, and I explained this to my friends. If you look at my diary you will see that it went on for a few weeks and I AM now trying to stop it because it is unhealthy.

As far as the 100 calories, I am following MY Doctors order which none of you are.

I am NOT trolling just participating. I closed my diary because NO ONe was suggesting anything positive. I felt that a lot of people were making of me. However my responses have increased my friends. Many people agreed and friended me.

My intent was not to upset anyone here just offer my opinion, and since I AM NEW AND NOT COMPUTER SAVVY I AM NOT ABLE TO DO THE QUOTE. I was not aware that there were rules. So Sorry.