YOUR SO PRETTY!! ...(FOR A FAT GIRL)

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  • 951heather
    951heather Posts: 75 Member
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    My mom always told me I would be so pretty if I just lost the weight. It started around 5th grade. You would be so pretty if you just lost twenty pounts. Then.... you would be so pretty if you just lost 30 pounds. Then 50, 60 pounds.

    In high school, you would be so pretty if you just lost 70 or 80 pounds. I am so pretty. And I believe it now. I feel better when I work out and I believe I am pretty. I am working on loving myself and undoing the hurt that was caused me. Don't worry about what other people say. Beauty really does come from within. Just focus on you, and you will be beautiful from the inside out! :)
  • MattieJean21
    MattieJean21 Posts: 41
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    My grandpa said something similar that really hurt my feelings... I have a younger sister who used to be the bigger one out of both of us. (we are Irish twins... 9 months apart) She is now the smaller one.. Since she lost weight I am the fat/chubby girl... I hate that I receive the rudest comments from my family... I don't even feel fat! I just feel overweight and curvey! I've been told that I have a pretty face before but not many comments about the rest. Oh well I love who I am! And I have the best boyfriend who keeps my spirit up :) he loves me no matter what I look like
  • CiciPorcayo
    CiciPorcayo Posts: 381 Member
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    I have gotten " You would be sexier if you lost weight...." or " your pretty for someone who is chubby.." like wow way to boost my confidence A**hole
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
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    That's like us going, eeeh you're a really nice man, I bet you can't wait for puberty to hit so you develop a normal sized "tail"!!! lol It's plain rude....and you just wouldn't say that to someone!



    Nice! I might have to use that! lol
  • andy2486
    andy2486 Posts: 93 Member
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    My granddad once told me (when I was about 18) that I will never get a boyfriend if I didn't lose weight. Well, I am now married for over a year and I think I weigh less now than I did then. I think it's crazy that curves used to be strived for back in the day and now we strive for skinny. I think as long as we are healthy, that's all that should matter. Those who don't know what it is like for those of us who have a tendency to gain a pound just by looking at a piece of bread should be able to say ANYTHING about our "pretty faces/not pretty bodies" until they take the time to try to understand. So to all the haters, I say SUCK IT! We are going to appreciate our healthy bodies more than those who are naturally skinny because we had to WORK FOR IT!
  • DaChozn
    DaChozn Posts: 134 Member
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    This exact phrase is listed in my profile here because I've gotten it so many times it's too hard to count. Another phrase, semi-related, is, "You're so articulate for a black girl." AND "You're pretty for a librarian" when I worked at a library (but wasn't an actual librarian...yet). So basically, you're insulting my ethnicity and my mother, since she's a real librarian. Nice.
  • Erimikos
    Erimikos Posts: 2
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    Society is not a good thing. Women are told they have to fit a certain mold, and men are told that to be considered 'a man' they need to be with a woman that fits that mold. This results in women (almost all of them) feeling bad about themselves if not everything is completely perfect by societies standards, and many men pushing the women harder to fit into those standards.

    It creates a truly vicious circle.

    I agree that there are many truly cold, stupid, and thoughtless statements made, and I do beleive that most women are beautiful the way they are. However, I also beleive there is a point that is too much. I used to think it didn't matter at all, and then my ex got to the point where she would not get up to take care of the child as it was too hard for her, as she sat there eating halloween size bags of candy. (Sadly, thats not an exaggeration. This led to our divorce)

    Humans are genetically designed to find more healthy people more appealing. Its an instinctual thing. Like it or not, we are a form of animal, and thus are subject to some instincts, of which this is one. I just think that anymore 'healthier' is misinterpreted as 'skinnier', which is not the case, and leads to people who already weigh the perfect amount struggling to turn into stick-figures to fit into societies standards.

    I do tell my wife that she looks amazing, that the workout's are really working well for her, and that I see a huge difference in how she looks, and that I like the changes. I firmly beleive that she takes this as a compliment, which is exactly what it is. It seems that many people posting here are taking anything said at all as being against them. While I hope that she isn't trying to make this change for me, it is making her feel much better about herself, healthy ,and just happy in general. If she chooses to do something with all those positive effects for her because she thinks it will make me happy, then so be it. Its actually making her happy, so who am I to argue? The truth is she does look better, but that honestly has nothing to do with weight. She is much happier now. To me happiness is also a beautiful thing. She has that beautiful glow that some people get now that she is a happier, healthy person in general.

    Like it or not, after working out almost every day for a year and watching your diet, you are going to look better then you did before. If you want to argue that point, why are you doing it at all? Now, before you answer that bear something else in mind. What society says is perfect and beautiful is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about healthy, and healthy IS beautiful in everything except for when you are hiking in the woods and the wonderfully healthy, yet hungry grizzly bear smells the sandwich in your backpack.

    Perhaps some of those that say you have a pretty face are actually just complimenting you? I am not suggesting that all are, as I am sure many do mean it as a demeaning, cold statement, but I have to ask this question as well.

    If someone comes up to you and says, 'I really love those shoes!' do you take that to mean that they are in fact telling you that everything else you are wearing should be burned to prevent anyone from ever having to see it again, or do you take that to mean that they like your shoes?

    Sorry for the little bit of a rant, its just rough to watch the mob attack some of those who I am sure were actually intending to be complimentary. Again, that is only some of them. Many more of them are obviously just being an *kitten*. . .
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
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    another one that get's me is my husband tells me "You're so hot now" I'm like "WTF? I wasn't before? all I did was drop weight."

    I kinda feel bad for guys in this situation... because for me its hard to not automatically think like that when my husband gives me any compliment. Like the other day he said my butt felt perkier...and my first thought was like "as compared to what, a saggy butt, so my butt was saggy!?!" .... I think sometimes our mindset needs some adjusting too while losing. LOL
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
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    Yes and it is frustrating. I know they mean well, but if they stopped and thought about that they were saying, they would realize it's actually pretty rude to say to a person. I just put up a recent picture of myself on facebook (after losing 52 lbs since anyone has seen me) and I was overwhelmed by how many people commented on that one picture. "I barely recognized you!" "You look amazing now!" I appreciate the compliments but did I really look that repulsive before?
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
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    Oops, DP
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
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    True beauty comes from within a person. . There are people out there with the rockin body, that are totally ugly inside. .So never mind people that make comments like that. . That's just mean!!!:flowerforyou:
  • torkmdeg
    torkmdeg Posts: 51 Member
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    My friend who knows I'm trying to lose weight always says, "You'll be so pretty once you lose weight!"
    So uh. I'm ugly right now?
    I know she means well but damn. :sad:
  • new_me032
    new_me032 Posts: 18
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    Only 1 proper response to this compliment

    YOU'RE SO THOUGHTFUL, FOR AN ASSH*LE!


    HA! There Shud Have Been A Like Button!!!! LIKE!!!! lol
  • fakeplastictree
    fakeplastictree Posts: 836 Member
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    Nope, I've never really been told I was pretty until recently. And it's only on here really.
  • kiwianjel
    kiwianjel Posts: 80 Member
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    The answer to this is easy .. hon you are doing this for yourself ... you have to want it for yourself .. in saying that support is nice :)
    Keep your head up high and keep going .. you can do it!
  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
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    Nope, I've never really been told I was pretty until recently. And it's only on here really.

    Ya me too!

    My brother in law told my husband one time... that I was hot, for a fat girl and that he would hit that... :ohwell: Thankfully my husband said ...DUDE thats a "jerk face move" (censored) and she isnt fat.... (lol ya I was, but thanks :smile: )
  • wave143j
    wave143j Posts: 74 Member
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    I was once trying on a sweater that was too tight and I said to my hubby, "I need to lose some weight". In his most loving way he says, "What man wants to drive a little car when he can drive a truck?!". I didn't know whether to hug him for attempting to compliment me or smack him for obvious reasons. Oh well, I love him for TRYING to raise my self esteem.
  • Katzilla82
    Katzilla82 Posts: 80
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    My mom was the worst growing up she'd say "you don't want to be fat like me " and "you gain weight in your stomach ". Smdh and
  • Dawn_is_getting_healthy
    Dawn_is_getting_healthy Posts: 245
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    I've heard this often as well (such a pretty face!) but it doesn't bother me. The one that did was what my mom used to say - being smart is better than being pretty. Thanks mom.

    OMG...your mother and my grandmother sound just alike. My sister was the pretty one and I was the smart one.
  • Strobins05
    Strobins05 Posts: 716
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    another one that get's me is my husband tells me "You're so hot now" I'm like "WTF? I wasn't before? all I did was drop weight."
    Love this! LMBO

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