Wow I really dont want to hear that

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  • inammorata
    inammorata Posts: 80
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    Some people have BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) so I don't think it's fair to say they are "fishing for compliments." In today's world there's so many celebs bragging about being a size 2 or even a 0 it's a wonder why real women are feeling that they aren't attractive unless they are stick thin. And who knows if they were teased as children? Such deep scarring can be carried in the psyche for years.
  • asamuels85
    asamuels85 Posts: 170 Member
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    FYI... body image or not, it seems that I feel similar anxieties with my skinny co-workers, and friends, its hard to focus with those types of distractions right?! Its hard to be the thinnest one in the crowd though too. I have in-laws who are always commenting on me eating like a rabbit, pushing to get in those weekend workouts etc... Because to them, i am okay (compared to being morbidly obese?) the size i am.
    AT 5ft tall and 149 I might have 28lbs to lose instead of 128 but still really need the support of the ppl around me to do it.

    Be open, vent when needed and don't let it get to yah too bad.. not worth a bump in the road toward longer life, aging gracefully and shaken it when you get there!!
  • speedycakes
    speedycakes Posts: 152 Member
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    "On the same hand it bothers me when fat people say it too while their eat their ho ho's. "
    This bothers me too. I totally was that girl when i was younger, complained about being fat all the time while eating 3-4 fudge rounds or 1/2 a pack of Oreo's. Glad i changed that. :)

    I understand what your saying about girls in the healthy zone saying there fat. Yes you can have body issues but you have to know being in the healthy range your not fat. You might be soft and squishy but if your not even in the overweight category you Obviously cant really be fat! I call my self fat every now and again, i'm 5'8 and 150. Not fat, but i am jiggly and soft.
  • lorihalsted
    lorihalsted Posts: 326 Member
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    So instead of strangling her with a belt in the corner....

    I am SO GLAD I am not the only one that ever feels this way!!!!!!!
  • nygiantschick
    nygiantschick Posts: 289 Member
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    I wonder if there would be body image issues if mirrors were never invented?????
  • Changinghabits68
    Changinghabits68 Posts: 69 Member
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    It bothers you because there is an insecurity within you. You see yourself in these people, meaning the reason it bothers you is you know you have said the same thing yourself.

    Why not focus on something other than what other people are saying? There is so much more to life than listening to other people, it may be frustrating to you, but at the same time, not everyone says things looking for attention, some say things out loud not realizing that they are attention seeking for one, and two some are very black and white thinking (all or nothing). Eating disorders come in many forms.

    Perhaps you should be grateful for what YOU are doing for yourself, be glad that you have found a path that is working for you, instead of the insecurities of others.
  • PixelTreason
    PixelTreason Posts: 226 Member
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    I'm 5'9" and 120 pounds (after losing 47 pounds).

    I still think I look fat on many days, in many outfits. I try to refrain from saying it in front of people heavier than me who I know are struggling with their weight but sometimes it slips out.

    Be kind to people. They don't usually realize they are making you feel bad. Give then the benefit of the doubt.
  • ladykate7
    ladykate7 Posts: 206 Member
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    The 'skinny' person saying that is not trying to be mean or knock you. They are talking about themselves, They feel fat and shouldn't have to justify that feeling to anyone, its how the feel. Saying it is just venting their irritation that they aren't in the physical shape they want to be in.

    I get tired of bigger people telling me I'm skinny and should be happy with my weight as it is.

    I vent with my workout friend and we fluctuate, usually one of us is bigger than the other, we flip back and forth. Sometimes I feel bad about venting when I'm already smaller than her when I'm back on the fitness wagon trying to get even better. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't express my concerns about myself to my friend just because she's bigger than me at the moment.

    If you don't like the person's comment you could say something like "Yeah, I know what you mean," That person might not realize you're sensitive and get offended when other people talking about their weight in front of you.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    I hate fat people who complain about skinny people calling themselves fat.. cause guess what, just because we look skinny doesn't mean we are!

    I'm 5'9, and when I weighed 180, I still looked skinny.. but to me, I was a whale! The whole reason why I looked skinny is because I bought clothes that actually fit instead of stuffing myself like a sausage into clothes that were clearly 2 sizes too small, like a lot of my heavier friends tended to do. Now that I've lost 30 of the 40 pounds i need to lose and I'm back to being "skinny", people tell me i"m too skinny and need to put weight back on.. So no matter what I do, I can't win.. Skinny or fat it seems like!
  • claireputput
    claireputput Posts: 26 Member
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    I debated as to replying to this or not but as I kept reading replies, I decided I needed to say my piece! I am 53 years old. When I was a teenager I had very low self esteem. I believed that I was fat. At 5'7" I weighed 115. I felt VERY fat so I worked harder until I was 103. I still felt that I could lose more but ended up in a relationship then married, again with low self esteem. I couldn't believe someone was interested in a fatty like me. These were my thoughts. I ended up married and pregnant and anemic. I had to take high doses of iron throughout my pregnancy. I say all this to say that I would have probably been making statements about being fat back then, not because I was trying to be rude but because I would have felt that that person could relate, because I was like them. Again understand that the person you are angry with for making that comment either is a @q$$ BRAT or probably has a mental disorder regarding weight. I am now 53 and btw in the morbid obese range, according to the physician and working on weight lose in a healthy manner.
  • ladykate7
    ladykate7 Posts: 206 Member
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    I completely disagree. I don't think the statements a person makes as the OP described means the person saying it is a brat or has a mental disorder.
  • claireputput
    claireputput Posts: 26 Member
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    I completely disagree. I don't think the statements a person makes as the OP described means the person saying it is a brat or has a mental disorder.

    An eating disorder is a mental disorder, and that is what I was referring to. I also have worked with alot of teens and some of them have made ctty/brat-ty remarks because of click issues. When I made my comment I was looking at it as a mental health specialist and a school counselor.
  • ladykate7
    ladykate7 Posts: 206 Member
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    I understand. Kids can be bratty, but I'll venture to say that the OP was talking about adults at work. Sure adults can be bratty and clicky too. My focus is on the person making the comment. That commenter isn't thinking about the person they are saying it too. I'm not a counselor but I have a psychology degree and some personal experience- no to say that makes me any more informed than anyone else on the matter :)

    I still firmly believe its a misrepresentation of eating and mental disorders to imply that such comments means the person saying it has either. There is sooo much more to eating/mental health disorders than an unthoughtful selfish comment. Otherwise everyone would have an eating/mental disorder.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    OP, maybe you don't have a healthy idea of what "normal" or "fat" is. When I was 130lbs I WAS considered obese.

    Also, its important to worry about yourself... If someone says theyre overweight do the following 1.) mind your business and don't try and give them any self validation and 2.) don't compare yourself to other people

    Edit: just because someone complains about their weight/hair/etc. And you believe it is unfounded does not make them a brat. If Op is 200 lbs and a 300lb woman were to hear her complain she would probably think the same. It's all relative. The way I look at it, you all should be worrying about yourself and anything someone says like "I'm fat, etc" they either 1.) want some sort of compliment to make them feel better or 2.) genuinely feel that way. Either way it's none of my damn business.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    Also, since when is it no longer okay for ANYone to have an issue with THEIR bodies? We all have things about ourselves we don't like or wish were different. What makes you in particular so special that only YOU or what YOU believe is overweight has the right to complain?

    Those are your own insecurities. "what does that make me? A whale?" don't you think those buck 30 girls would have said that if that's what they meant? Like I always say you cannot make anyone feel a certain way. If they get offended it's because they chose so. If someone complains about something and you chose to compare yourself and feel hurt by it- you chose that.
  • ChrisStoney
    ChrisStoney Posts: 479 Member
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    I am stuck working Christmas at the prison and have read this entire thread (I must be bored, hehehe) but it is apparent the OP has stated her opionion of how she felt, and then others have stated thier opinions on her opinion, and then others have opinions based on the reaction to the opinions stated about the OP's opinion. My opinion is that the last opinion was a good summation of the opinions, well written and heartfelt. Thanks!

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