Biting my tongue at seeing overweight children

sassylilmama

:noway: How DARE overweight people go out in public! I'm so sorry you had to look at that :sad:

Uhh thats not at all what she said...Don't get all crazy & off topic. I agree with the original poster.

so you agree with the op that these children were so disgusting she wanted to throw up? because thats pretty much EXACTLY what she said.

Yeah I do. Thats how I would have felt. Obese children stuffing their faces with food they don't need while the parent sits there and is OKAY with it? Yup sounds about right. She didn't go up and insult the person, she just said how she felt. I see nothing wrong with that. If you don't agree or thats not how you feel, thats great, but everyone has different opinions on things.

You really think those kids couldn't tell how she was looking at them?

From what OP described the entire place probably knew how she was looking at them.

LavenderBouquet

I don't think you are wrong in feeling that something was wrong with that situation, and some of the comments on here are quite accusative and rude. I do not think you need counselling to deal with your judgemental state, that's absurd.

You are entitled to your thoughts, it's not like just because you are critical towards them you were rude and told them how awful of parents they are. I feel this often too when I see children in such a poor state, I realize we don't know every particular situation, but we are looking at them with concern for their health, not maliciousness.

I feel it was only natural for you to judge them, I'm sorry for those naysayers, but judging/being critical is human nature and it's how you analyse and act upon those thoughts that matters.

DaniellePF

Let me tell ya something... LOL! I'd have had the same thoughts! Don't feel bad. Everybody judges everybody. I'm sure big people judge fit people all the time.... "...look at her, she thinks she's all that because she can wear a size 0, pshhhhhhh, she ain't got nothing on my lovely lady LUMPS!"

It is a SHAME that parents teach their kids to NOT have self control. That kid probably sensed your "disapproval" and made that face because she's been taught, "Eat up, honey! The more the better! Nevermind if you develop juvenile diabetes or are teased by kids, because you can squash them!"

**IF anybody is offended by what I say, that's too bad. I would think most of us MFP's are ALL for children's health.

I heart you!

Jessamin

:noway: How DARE overweight people go out in public! I'm so sorry you had to look at that :sad:

Uhh thats not at all what she said...Don't get all crazy & off topic. I agree with the original poster.

so you agree with the op that these children were so disgusting she wanted to throw up? because thats pretty much EXACTLY what she said.

Yeah I do. Thats how I would have felt. Obese children stuffing their faces with food they don't need while the parent sits there and is OKAY with it? Yup sounds about right. She didn't go up and insult the person, she just said how she felt. I see nothing wrong with that. If you don't agree or thats not how you feel, thats great, but everyone has different opinions on things.

You really think those kids couldn't tell how she was looking at them?

From what OP described the entire place probably knew how she was looking at them.

It honestly makes me cringe just thinking about it. Those poor kids had the audacity to want to go to lunch and eat what their parent/s let them and they get treated and talked about this way.

thor1god1of1awesome

Personally, I hate seeing overweight children too. Or overweight anyone for that matter. I know that some people have medical issues as to why they are fat, but not everyone. And we're not talking about them. And also some children have 'baby fat'.

I don't think that any parents should feed their children junk food. As young children, they don't think about what they're eating, and if you give them junk food as a treat, they'll learn that that is the best thing to eat and want it all of the time. My cousin rewards his children with fruit, it's yummy, and they have learned that fruit is seemingly the 'coolest' thing to eat.

It's human nature to judge. And there is an obesity crisis. So your opinions are fair enough. And I agree.

Oh come now how can you hate seeing all this! Lol but seriously people like you make people like me scared to go out in public.

crazycat80

I have issue with this too. There are some kids that are just round and dirty. Especially down here in the south. When I see them, I DO get angry with the parent. I feel like it is a form of neglect to let a child get grossly overweight. Yes, sometimes there are physical reasons that they are bigger. And yes, some of it is genetic. But not all or even most of them. I also have to bite my tongue when I see some kid that looks stroke ready at 7 shoving a bag of chips in their face while holding a soda. I would never say anything to them as its not my business, but, yes, it angers me greatly.

I'm totally in sync with you. I see too many overweight kids for them all to be "condition" related. Many of these parents don't know their kids are overweight. Studies show that parents with overweight children, when asked, genuinely think they are "ok" Ref http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19559989. While I would never say anything personally, I do think it needs to be addressed through family members (in a constructive way), doctors, schools, and community outreach programs.

hollyeverhart

:noway: How DARE overweight people go out in public! I'm so sorry you had to look at that :sad:

Uhh thats not at all what she said...Don't get all crazy & off topic. I agree with the original poster.

so you agree with the op that these children were so disgusting she wanted to throw up? because thats pretty much EXACTLY what she said.

Yeah I do. Thats how I would have felt. Obese children stuffing their faces with food they don't need while the parent sits there and is OKAY with it? Yup sounds about right. She didn't go up and insult the person, she just said how she felt. I see nothing wrong with that. If you don't agree or thats not how you feel, thats great, but everyone has different opinions on things.

You really think those kids couldn't tell how she was looking at them?

To be honest I have no clue. I wasn't there who knows if she was hardcore staring the whole time or whatever. I'm just saying I can see why it made her feel that way. I wouldn't have 'stared' but I would have noticed and been bothered by it for sure. Its not the kids fault, its the parents. I feel sorry for the kids, at the same time disgusted that the mother is okay with feeding her already obese childern more unhealthy food. Its just setting them up for a lifetime of physical & emtional issues.

Jessamin

:noway: How DARE overweight people go out in public! I'm so sorry you had to look at that :sad:

Uhh thats not at all what she said...Don't get all crazy & off topic. I agree with the original poster.

so you agree with the op that these children were so disgusting she wanted to throw up? because thats pretty much EXACTLY what she said.

Yeah I do. Thats how I would have felt. Obese children stuffing their faces with food they don't need while the parent sits there and is OKAY with it? Yup sounds about right. She didn't go up and insult the person, she just said how she felt. I see nothing wrong with that. If you don't agree or thats not how you feel, thats great, but everyone has different opinions on things.

You really think those kids couldn't tell how she was looking at them?

To be honest I have no clue. I wasn't there who knows if she was hardcore staring the whole time or whatever. I'm just saying I can see why it made her feel that way. I wouldn't have 'stared' but I would have noticed and been bothered by it for sure. Its not the kids fault, its the parents. I feel sorry for the kids, at the same time disgusted that the mother is okay with feeding her already obese childern more unhealthy food. Its just setting them up for a lifetime of physical & emtional issues.

So if you feel sorry for the kids why are you okay with the OP saying that she was disgusted by them and they made her want to vomit? They're children. There's opinion but there's also tact and conscience.

seehawkmomma

Do you think there is any possible way the parents know that their children are obese and are secretly and on purpose scarring them?

It must be.

That has to be the reason.

They want them to be fat.

Clarecbear82

On the subject of tantrums in supermarkets. My oldest was always a little angel never threw tantrums and I always used to look at people who's kids where screaming the place down and think why can't they control them? Then I had my son and my god he's something else. He goes into blind rages about absolutely nothing sometimes and I've had to drag him screaming from shops its just so embarrassing. I would never ever give him what he wants for acting like it but I sure as hell know if I told him we will go home for healthy snacks he wouldn't calm down. Honestly its like he's possessed and can't even hear you when he gets like it.

The worsed part is I know there are people like what I used to be watching me and passing judgement!

kaleas

Im not rude or uncivilized. I didn't sit there with my mouth a-gape and gawking at them. But I was sitting next to them as the cafe was crowded with movie watchers and moving wasn't an option, so I did have the ability to overhear their conversations and catch glances out of my eye as the evening continued on.

mywalker32

Remember they are children and they are not responsible for their diets...its their PARENTS. If the parents were better educated about healty eating, then the children would be better educated. The rate of overweight adults in this country is out of control....let's start at the kid's role models...the children will imitate what they are taught and see.

Jessamin

Im not rude or uncivilized. I didn't sit there with my mouth a-gape and gawking at them. But I was sitting next to them as the cafe was crowded with movie watchers and moving wasn't an option, so I did have the ability to overhear their conversations and catch glances out of my eye as the evening continued on.

>I'm not rude.
>THESE CHILDREN WERE DISGUSTING AND MADE ME WANT TO VOMIT.

Oh, okay.

hollyeverhart

:noway: How DARE overweight people go out in public! I'm so sorry you had to look at that :sad:

Uhh thats not at all what she said...Don't get all crazy & off topic. I agree with the original poster.

so you agree with the op that these children were so disgusting she wanted to throw up? because thats pretty much EXACTLY what she said.

Yeah I do. Thats how I would have felt. Obese children stuffing their faces with food they don't need while the parent sits there and is OKAY with it? Yup sounds about right. She didn't go up and insult the person, she just said how she felt. I see nothing wrong with that. If you don't agree or thats not how you feel, thats great, but everyone has different opinions on things.

You really think those kids couldn't tell how she was looking at them?

To be honest I have no clue. I wasn't there who knows if she was hardcore staring the whole time or whatever. I'm just saying I can see why it made her feel that way. I wouldn't have 'stared' but I would have noticed and been bothered by it for sure. Its not the kids fault, its the parents. I feel sorry for the kids, at the same time disgusted that the mother is okay with feeding her already obese children more unhealthy food. Its just setting them up for a lifetime of physical & emotional issues.

So if you feel sorry for the kids why are you okay with the OP saying that she was disgusted by them and they made her want to vomit? They're children. There's opinion but there's also tact and conscience.

ugh quit picking apart what I have to say. I guess I have no conscience then, because i'm okay with her saying that because I would feel the same way. Just because I feel sorry for the kids doesn't mean I'm not disgusted by them. No I wouldn't sit there and obviously stare at them with a disgusted look on my face, but in my head I would think wow thats gross, maybe they should slow it down on the food. So what? thats in my head, not something I would say to a child or the mother. I would be grossed out by a person of any age or size stuffing their face with everything in sight. Back off the op already! Seriously its the internet. She & everyone else can say what they want & feel how they want. God forbid they make one comment on here & all the sensitive people have to jump down their throats. Everyone is judgmental & everyone has thoughts that might not be the nicest things, but as long as she didn't go up to the mother and children and make a scene, I don't have a problem with it.

CHEFCH♥ZZ

bite. as you should....

cannibaldoll

I have a chunky kid, and if you ever approached me and told me he was fat, I'd kick you right in the pee flaps. He isn't chunky because I feed him terribly, he's chunky because he's going to be huge! His dad is 6'6 with a 52" shoulder spance. My son will grow into his body, hopefully you'll grow out of your prejudice. My son plays football, is in the running club, does karate, and is outside more than he's in the house...I feed him nothing but clean meals and the occasional treat. Unless you know the background of the child, how dare you sit in judgement!

This isn't always true. I was a tall kid however stopped growing. My mom always told me I'd be large chested and I'm not. My sister however grew to be over 6ft and is only 16.

DaniellePF

.

Jessamin

:noway: How DARE overweight people go out in public! I'm so sorry you had to look at that :sad:

Uhh thats not at all what she said...Don't get all crazy & off topic. I agree with the original poster.

so you agree with the op that these children were so disgusting she wanted to throw up? because thats pretty much EXACTLY what she said.

Yeah I do. Thats how I would have felt. Obese children stuffing their faces with food they don't need while the parent sits there and is OKAY with it? Yup sounds about right. She didn't go up and insult the person, she just said how she felt. I see nothing wrong with that. If you don't agree or thats not how you feel, thats great, but everyone has different opinions on things.

You really think those kids couldn't tell how she was looking at them?

To be honest I have no clue. I wasn't there who knows if she was hardcore staring the whole time or whatever. I'm just saying I can see why it made her feel that way. I wouldn't have 'stared' but I would have noticed and been bothered by it for sure. Its not the kids fault, its the parents. I feel sorry for the kids, at the same time disgusted that the mother is okay with feeding her already obese children more unhealthy food. Its just setting them up for a lifetime of physical & emotional issues.

So if you feel sorry for the kids why are you okay with the OP saying that she was disgusted by them and they made her want to vomit? They're children. There's opinion but there's also tact and conscience.

ugh quit picking apart what I have to say. I guess I have no conscience then, because i'm okay with her saying that because I would feel the same way. Just because I feel sorry for the kids doesn't mean I'm not disgusted by them. No I wouldn't sit there and obviously stare at them with a disgusted look on my face, but in my head I would think wow thats gross, maybe they should slow it down on the food. So what? thats in my head, not something I would say to a child or the mother. I would be grossed out by a person of any age or size stuffing their face with everything in sight. Back off the op already! Seriously its the internet. She & everyone else can say what they want & feel how they want. God forbid they make one comment on here & all the sensitive people have to jump down their throats. Everyone is judgmental & everyone has thoughts that might not be the nicest things, but as long as she didn't go up to the mother and children and make a scene, I don't have a problem with it.

Wow. You are something else.

thatgirl125

I am a very blunt, forward person. Get a few drinks in me and I'm like a truth machine. It's both a curse and a good thing.

So the other night, a few of us went to our local cafe after hours where they were showing christmas movies. We had a few drinks, enjoyed some cafe treats, and cozied in for the politically incorrect Rudolph.

Looking to my left though, I noticed two extremely, and I mean extremely overweight girls dressed in tight multicolored dresses, the buttons on the blouses gapped and barely holding. They couldn't have been any older then 8 or 9. Mom had gotten them the cafe's baked mac and cheese, both their own, with the chowder to dip it into, and chocolate brownies for desert. The cafe also served free popcorn in which I was behind one of the girls in line, as she scooped up and filled her bowl, stopped, realizing she could fit more in, and piled it higher. I swear she snorted at me as she turned to walk back to her seat.

I felt sick. Nauseous. I couldn't even get my handful of popcorn. I wanted to eject the dinner I had and the cookies I had eaten. I wanted to say something to the mother. I was sitting next to them the whole time. Listening to them eat. Watching. It was like a horrible movie montage. As the one girl finished her mac and cheese, her smaller brother had half of his left, and so she finished his for him.

I saw the beginning of a long journey of self-esteem issues and hurt as they get older and realize how much their size is going to effect them.

I also hated myself for thinking the thoughts I had. What right do I have to judge them?

Yes. I believe you are right to judge. You didn't say anything to anyone so you didn't offend anyone that would cause a scene. People who allow their kids to eat like **** and be fat deserve to be harshly judged. Parents are making their kids fat! Might as well give your 8 year old a loaded gun to play with while they devour their mcnuggets, frosty, fries and brownies.

So true! They do need the guidance they're only kids and would not understand what everything is doing to their body. I have of course judges too, especially when you see the little 6 year old girl walking around with an ice cream cone and belly hanging out of her stomach. I've watched parents feed their children large and unhealthy meals. it truly is a sad thing.
And yes as far as some on possibly having a condition and that is why they are that way could be possible for those two girls. But then you have to think how many people in the world is overweight and how MANY of them do NOT have health issues that influence it.

Gwen7121

This thread has taken so many turns, it's like a tabloid show. But going back to the original post, I think what upset most of those who were offended was the tone of the post. If the OP had said she was concerned about the overweight children, that she knew what they were going to experience in life and possible health risks, and approached it from a point of compassion, it would most likely have been received differently by the forum. But instead she used words like snort, and disgust, and vomit. All of those words were directed at the children, not the parent.

It most likely was unhealthy habits practiced at home. Obesity is an epidemic, mostly due to unhealthy eating habits and lack of activity. But the children deserved compassion, not disgust and staring.