Biting my tongue at seeing overweight children
Replies
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Wow...sadly I can tell by reading these comments exactly who has children and who does not.
I have three kids...10-17....all went through a chunky stage, all were taught how to eat healthy, as best as I knew...and my ignorance took a while to be corrected. Please give parents a break...yes many have bad habits and do contribute to obesity in children, but it's not on purpose.
I always made sure my kids had three full meals a day, with vegetables, very little processed food, and we sit down together for most dinners. However 2 years ago, both my older two kids were going through puberty and both were growing like crazy, and both looked a little chubby. Since then, my son (17) has streched into his body and doesn't look an ounce overweight. My younger daughter who is 10 is just getting to her chunky stage...this has more to do with lowered outdoor activity than it does with her diet.
I have in the past year changed our family's diet for the better, and it hasn't helped in the weight department for my kids at all...some weight fluctuation is just going to happen as they grow. Some kids never have an issue at all.
What scares me after reading this, is how would I be judged (albeit silently) if I took my younger (now slightly chunky) daughter on a day out, and we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch???
Come on...I don't care what's in that stuff...I love it once in a while...and we are all alive.
To the original poster....I hope you are able to come to grips that things are rarely what they seem before you have your own children. Or you will drive yourself insane wondering what people think of you. And as for that family at the cafe...I am so glad some parents still find time to indulge their children in a dinner out and family time.0 -
Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol
I am the exact opposite... either of my boys start going nuts for something NO CHANCE they get it. No matter what it is!
This my kid acts out Im not going to reward her with a donut hahaha.. she will be having her privlidges at home taken away.0 -
I think Gorilla is a mean daddi-o! lol0
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THIS is the way to go! Negative reinforcement, yeeeeahhh!Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol
I am the exact opposite... either of my boys start going nuts for something NO CHANCE they get it. No matter what it is!0 -
Gorilla and Swatts...I hope your kids thru MASSIVE temper tantrums in Target...on Christmas Eve..and it makes you wanna drink...lol
Im kidding in good humor ay know
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Yes. I believe you are right to judge. You didn't say anything to anyone so you didn't offend anyone that would cause a scene. People who allow their kids to eat like **** and be fat deserve to be harshly judged. Parents are making their kids fat! Might as well give your 8 year old a loaded gun to play with while they devour their mcnuggets, frosty, fries and brownies.
Perfectly reasonable statement. Of course giving a kid a loaded weapon is the same as giving them chicken mcnuggets. Why do people think the anti-fast food crowd is full of raving food nazis? They seem so very calm and rational.0 -
I feel the same especially growing up (at about 10yo I started steadily gaining weight) fat. Not so much judgmental but I know the road their going down and it's not easy nor is it fun.
However, that being said. Not your children, not your money, not your life therefore not your place to judge. You can only take care of you and yours...0 -
Gorilla and Swatts...I hope your kids thru MASSIVE temper tantrums in Target...on Christmas Eve..and it makes you wanna drink...lol
Im kidding in good humor ay know
you should meet my 6 year old! it has not been Target but Walmart. LOL0 -
To all of the parents that are defending their kids becasue they are chubby: nothing is wrong with chubby kids, there is, however, a problem with obeese children which is what OP is talking about.0
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Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol
I am the exact opposite... either of my boys start going nuts for something NO CHANCE they get it. No matter what it is!
I love you for this. I feel like the problem with parents these days is that they just give in for their own convenience. Kids never learn when all you do is reward them for bad behavior. But, to each is own I guess.0 -
I don't have kids- Hell i'm only 19, but your post really bothered me. The fact that you kept watching these kids eat is disturbing. Maybe you should have moved to another section of the cafe. It's their family, not yours, so you shouldn't be so bothered by it. They're 8 years old. They don't need to be worrying about being on a diet, let them be kids and when they're a little older, they will have the choice to lose the weight if they wish.0
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Gorilla and Swatts...I hope your kids thru MASSIVE temper tantrums in Target...on Christmas Eve..and it makes you wanna drink...lol
Im kidding in good humor ay know
Not a target or walmart where we live BUT... I have been very blessed to have a very well behaved kid most of the time! I think ive done something right hehe0 -
I second this.Let me tell ya something... LOL! I'd have had the same thoughts! Don't feel bad. Everybody judges everybody. I'm sure big people judge fit people all the time.... "...look at her, she thinks she's all that because she can wear a size 0, pshhhhhhh, she ain't got nothing on my lovely lady LUMPS!"
It is a SHAME that parents teach their kids to NOT have self control. That kid probably sensed your "disapproval" and made that face because she's been taught, "Eat up, honey! The more the better! Nevermind if you develop juvenile diabetes or are teased by kids, because you can squash them!"
**IF anybody is offended by what I say, that's too bad. I would think most of us MFP's are ALL for children's health.
I completely agree.
Growing up a fat kid my mom never taught us how to eat healthy.
If she didnt eat it then she didnt buy it, btw my mom HATES fruits and vegtables....
Sooo when I was no longer in need of her care I struggled BAD to break those habits and till this day I still struggle...
I now feed my son as healthy as I can and I keep him as healthy as I can and hes only 3...
All because of the junk crap my mom allowed us to eat.
As parents we should be role models and we should be concerned with our childrens health BECAUSE of the way we feel about yourselves now or the way we grew up.
We should want better!0 -
Wow...sadly I can tell by reading these comments exactly who has children and who does not.
I have three kids...10-17....all went through a chunky stage, all were taught how to eat healthy, as best as I knew...and my ignorance took a while to be corrected. Please give parents a break...yes many have bad habits and do contribute to obesity in children, but it's not on purpose.
I always made sure my kids had three full meals a day, with vegetables, very little processed food, and we sit down together for most dinners. However 2 years ago, both my older two kids were going through puberty and both were growing like crazy, and both looked a little chubby. Since then, my son (17) has streched into his body and doesn't look an ounce overweight. My younger daughter who is 10 is just getting to her chunky stage...this has more to do with lowered outdoor activity than it does with her diet.
I have in the past year changed our family's diet for the better, and it hasn't helped in the weight department for my kids at all...some weight fluctuation is just going to happen as they grow. Some kids never have an issue at all.
What scares me after reading this, is how would I be judged (albeit silently) if I took my younger (now slightly chunky) daughter on a day out, and we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch???
Come on...I don't care what's in that stuff...I love it once in a while...and we are all alive.
To the original poster....I hope you are able to come to grips that things are rarely what they seem before you have your own children. Or you will drive yourself insane wondering what people think of you. And as for that family at the cafe...I am so glad some parents still find time to indulge their children in a dinner out and family time.
^This. I agree completely.0 -
i am LMAO at "pee flaps"I have a chunky kid, and if you ever approached me and told me he was fat, I'd kick you right in the pee flaps. He isn't chunky because I feed him terribly, he's chunky because he's going to be huge! His dad is 6'6 with a 52" shoulder spance. My son will grow into his body, hopefully you'll grow out of your prejudice. My son plays football, is in the running club, does karate, and is outside more than he's in the house...I feed him nothing but clean meals and the occasional treat. Unless you know the background of the child, how dare you sit in judgement!0 -
oh my gosh. My kids HATE walmart. Its like hell under the brightest lights EVAH! At least Target has those better buggies for them to ride in. Yee-HAW! lol
And..I wonder...if the OP saw a child...malnourished...what her reaction would be then?0 -
Wut?If we accept our kids walking around with their pants off their butts, then let them eat as they wish. We will reap what we sow.
What does how you wear your clothing have to do with how we let our children eat?!
Pretty sure letting your pants hang off your butt dont cause diabetes or other diseases that are caused from unhealthy eating.0 -
Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol
this is just teaching your kid that as long as he/she throws a hissy fit he/she will be able to get whatever he/she wants!!0 -
I think Im raising my kids to be pretty damn amazing too. But ALL kids have temper tantrums..even those Jolie-Pitt brats! lol
It shows independence 0 -
Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol
I am the exact opposite... either of my boys start going nuts for something NO CHANCE they get it. No matter what it is!
I love you for this. I feel like the problem with parents these days is that they just give in for their own convenience. Kids never learn when all you do is reward them for bad behavior. But, to each is own I guess.
Have you ever taken a 2 year old to the grocery store???? Let alone two 2 year olds when it's close to their nap time and you are running on 5 hours of sleep and have to finish grocery shopping, run to the bank, make your kids lunch and have about 3 loads of laundry to fold and you don't know what to make for dinner?0 -
Thank you soooo much! I would've written JUST THAT!
What right do I have to judge them?
Absolutely none. Also, if seeing other people eat makes you want to toss up your cookies, you may want to enlist the help of a counselor. Hope you have a Merry Christmas!0 -
I think everyone needs to chill the eff out. This is the Internetz. Get over yourselves, :laugh:
That being said, aside from all the rash judgement of nearly everyone on this thread, everyone seems to have pretty valid points. OP, I also kind of feel the same way when I see kids that are grossly overweight. I also don't have kids, though, so I don't know quite how difficult it is when your kid is so picky they refuse to eat anything but junk. You can be a picky eater and still be massively overweight. To a lot of other's points, though, you also don't know the situation. It could be that, yes, they were overweight, but they've been trying to get the weight off and their mother was letting them have a big cheat meal. It is really sad to see how many kids are so grossly overweight now compared to when we were kids, have to give you that. I was a chubby girl, but by no means was I obese. It does do my heart good to see what I saw at the gym the other day. There was a mother who was a little chubby, but not fat by any means, and her son, probably 8, who looked a good 100 lbs overweight, both working out, together. They were high-fiving each other and pushing each other to do better. I wanted to give that little boy a hug, he was working harder than me!
ETA: Let's not sit there and JUDGE the OP for being judgmental. At least she owns up to it. No one, not one single person in this world that's old enough and mentally capable enough to judge someone, can honestly say they've never judged someone. And if you do say that, you're not only judgmental, but also a liar.0 -
GIVE THIS CHILD A HAMBURGER, PRONTO!And..I wonder...if the OP saw a child...malnourished...what her reaction would be then?
But seriously, no one likes to see a child unhealthy whether it's overweight OR underweight.0 -
On occassion. Im a softy. But my kids teachers..relatives... praise them..so I also must be doing something right 0
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I think everyone needs to chill the eff out. This is the Internetz. Get over yourselves, :laugh:
That being said, aside from all the rash judgement of nearly everyone on this thread, everyone seems to have pretty valid points. OP, I also kind of feel the same way when I see kids that are grossly overweight. I also don't have kids, though, so I don't know quite how difficult it is when your kid is so picky they refuse to eat anything but junk. You can be a picky eater and still be massively overweight. To a lot of other's points, though, you also don't know the situation. It could be that, yes, they were overweight, but they've been trying to get the weight off and their mother was letting them have a big cheat meal. It is really sad to see how many kids are so grossly overweight now compared to when we were kids, have to give you that. I was a chubby girl, but by no means was I obese. It does do my heart good to see what I saw at the gym the other day. There was a mother who was a little chubby, but not fat by any means, and her son, probably 8, who looked a good 100 lbs overweight, both working out, together. They were high-fiving each other and pushing each other to do better. I wanted to give that little boy a hug, he was working harder than me!
This is awesome!! I would be so encouraged myself!0 -
Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol
BAHAHAHAHAA
I wish you could have seen him. He was like foaming at the mouth. And all his siblings were trying to keep him quiet. We actually saw him again at the check out stand. Doughnut safely in hand.
Now that is a child who has learned how to control his parent. But shouldn't it really be the other way around?0 -
oh my gosh. My kids HATE walmart. Its like hell under the brightest lights EVAH! At least Target has those better buggies for them to ride in. Yee-HAW! lol
And..I wonder...if the OP saw a child...malnourished...what her reaction would be then?
My initial reaction still would be the same as when I see a massively overweight child (though my reaction is a bit different from that of the OP's!)0 -
I have a chunky kid, and if you ever approached me and told me he was fat, I'd kick you right in the pee flaps. He isn't chunky because I feed him terribly, he's chunky because he's going to be huge! His dad is 6'6 with a 52" shoulder spance. My son will grow into his body, hopefully you'll grow out of your prejudice. My son plays football, is in the running club, does karate, and is outside more than he's in the house...I feed him nothing but clean meals and the occasional treat. Unless you know the background of the child, how dare you sit in judgement!
Maybe this is why this post topic makes me so angry! Your response is WONDERFUL!!!!! My son is on the hefty side, his dad is 6'2" and 260# and strong as an ox. The whole family is so I am sure he will be too! "In the pee flaps!:laugh: :laugh: " this killed me!!!! LOVE IT!0 -
would she continue to stare? would she offer them a $20 bill to feed their family? I dunno..alot of different scenarios...in either direction. *shrugs*0
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What does age have to do with anything (aside from clarifying that the OP is an adult)? Obese elementary school kids sicken and sadden me.youre 22 years old. you clearly have a lot of growing up to do. you both sicken and sadden me.
OP: I probably would have felt similarly. I would not be personally bothered or affected, since, as other posters have pointed out, any outward reaction in a restaurant or in public would have no effect. But I agree with you on noticing young kids who already appear to be on a poor trajectory with regard to health and behavior habits.
fine. youre fat and you sicken me...and you sickened me even when you were at your highest weight....its not the kids that should sicken you missy, it should be the acts of the parents...WE are responsible for our kids...and it just takes it to anohter level when the OP says she almost puked because of it? oh ****ing please...give me a ****ing break...and just beucase youre a blunt person doenst mean you can't find a way to politely say **** that you feel...
woooww. Way to be grown.
Smh....0
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