Biting my tongue at seeing overweight children

apesid

Maybe they weren't even that overweight. Maybe they just had REALLY small clothes.

ElementalEscapee

I have a friend who has a terrible diet, including soda, McDonald's, fried/greasy food, sugary food, high sodium food, etc. And you know what? She's 5' 4, around 75-85 lbs usually. And she's my age. If someone sees her chowing down a burger at McDonald's, they probably won't assume that she is being "abused" by being fed the crappiest food imaginable, like they would with a big kid. They'd probably will her to eat another burger because of her smallness. If she was offered another, well, she'd probably accept it!

This thread just makes me wonder all the more how people looked at me a few years ago (even now, though I'm older), and if they thought similar thoughts as you. I grew up eating soup, veggies, fruits, all that, but still I was pudgy. My mom is overweight, although in her teen years she was skinny because she was anorexic, eating a bag of carrots and tea only, biking 16 or so miles every day, but was considered healthy. Assumptions are not always correct...and it's literally impossible not to pass some sort of judgement upon another consciously or unconsciously...that's all I have to say here.

brittanyjeanxo

No right at all. Only the maker himself can judge and although that bothered you, it was in no way shape or form your business.

Happy Holidays!

You forgot to mention the part where not everyone believes in "the maker."

Happy Holidays.

eeeekie

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

And as a obese child you would have totally understood the reason you were being ripped away from all you knew and you would have appreciated it? I think not. In fact, I'm 100% sure that would have made the problem worse.

DietingMommy08

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

I think a mother is told time and time and time again that thier childs obesity is already causing health problems and that mother is doing NOTHING to help that child lose the weight and that child is instead still GAINING weight then yes I see that as child abuse and yes that child should be taken from thier mother until they can get some kind of something under control for the both of them.

Hambone23

:noway: How DARE overweight people go out in public! I'm so sorry you had to look at that :sad:

^^ This.

CaptainGordo

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

You put a whole lot of faith in gov't -- which has a tendency to bungle everything.

DietingMommy08

I must be the only person to agree with the OP. Obesity rates in children have TRIPLED in the past decade. There's a serious problem with the lack of nutritional education parents are teaching their kids. My family has a huge problem with obesity, and I used to be obese myself. You have to learn healthy eating habits at home. If these kids don't learn now, they're going to have SERIOUS health conditions.

I would have been sickened, too. Not because they were fat but because they are going to have a low quality of life.

If being overweight was okay, then none of us would be here (on MFP) right now. The end.

Ur not the only one.
I completely agree.

BeeElMarvin

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

Taking a child from an otherwise happy home is never the answer. education for the parents - education for the kids - that's the answer. Show them how to eat right. We do not live in a totalitarian society here (though it seems that way sometimes). Whether you like it or not, people have rights. You may wish to take those children out of their homes, but will you take them in?

JennaM222

Maybe they were really female midgets on TOM

eeeekie

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

Taking a child from an otherwise happy home is never the answer. education for the parents - education for the kids - that's the answer. Show them how to eat right. We do not live in a totalitarian society here (though it seems that way sometimes). Whether you like it or not, people have rights. You may wish to take those children out of their homes, but will you take them in?

100% AGREED.

Well said.

katcod1522

Eeeeekie is a smart...cookie

reactor25

I saw the beginning of a long journey of self-esteem issues and hurt as they get older and realize how much their size is going to effect them.

I also hated myself for thinking the thoughts I had. What right do I have to judge them?

So sad!! While your reaction seems a little extreeme, If you are in the US then your tax $ will likely be paying for the diseases they contract from such an unhealthy diet and lifestyle so you have some right to complain. Being obese is as dangerous as smoking. If you saw smoking parents giving their children cigarettes everyone would say you have the right to complain.

Actually, healthy people cost us more taxes in the long term. Obese people die early and so they cost us less than the healthy person that lives to be a hundred. When you live a long time, our taxes are supporting you with social security and medicare, or whatever you get when you turn 65, for decades! They did some study on this... So, obese people are costing us less taxes. Anyway, I still advocate being healthy.

killagb

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

It's extremely easy to act like you would be the ideal parent and do the most ideal things, when you have never done it yourself. No, having no children doesn't make you an idiot...but it means you have ZERO point of reference on the subject and are only speaking how you *think* you might act. Trust me, reality differs from your parenting ideals. Let's hope you don't have an obese child in the future.

brittanyjeanxo

Maybe they were really female midgets on TOM

In really small clothes.

CaptainGordo

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

Taking a child from an otherwise happy home is never the answer. education for the parents - education for the kids - that's the answer. Show them how to eat right. We do not live in a totalitarian society here (though it seems that way sometimes). Whether you like it or not, people have rights. You may wish to take those children out of their homes, but will you take them in?

BINGO!

kschhr

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

Really? The slope gets awfully slippery here, folks. Where is the line drawn? Spooky stuff, folks. Spooky.

Yes, really. If a child is on the verge of diabetes as a result of what the parents are feeding them, you don't think that's child abuse? That those parents are obviously not fit to raise children? Once the kid turns 18 they can do as they please. But while they're still young, still learning, still molding, parents need to teach their children good habits, not ones that will possibly kill them. Disorders that affect weight don't make people obese, just overweight.

Where is the line drawn, though? A specific BMI number? A blood sugar number? What if it's shared custody, and the other parent is to blame? What if other medical conditions are to blame? Where do you propose sending these kids?

Would this be better for their quality of life -- being in foster care than being with their parent that might be making poor nutritional choices, but loves their kid dearly?

Obviously I'm not sitting down drawing out a proposal to the feds, or else I would have answers for you. In short, I feel like something needs to be put in place to regulate this. It's not okay that people can kill their kids with food. Honestly, at a very young age (say 10 and under) maybe BMI is a good way to go about it. No child is going to have enough muscle on them to make the BMI scale so inaccurate that it would say a child is obese if they weren't. Or maybe when they hit that morbid obesity, give the parents a year to get the child to a healthy weight (time probably would change depending on how overweight the child is). I'm not trying to bully parents, just trying to say that it is abuse to feed them in such ways.

JennaM222

:drinker:

katcod1522

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

It's extremely easy to act like you would be the ideal parent and do the most ideal things, when you have never done it yourself. No, having no children doesn't make you an idiot...but it means you have ZERO point of reference on the subject and are only speaking how you *think* you might act. Trust me, reality differs from your parenting ideals. Let's hope you don't have an obese child in the future.

cha-ching!

skinnypigeon

I am guilty of having judgemental thoughts as well, when I see young children overweight and shoveling in processed dead food into their bodies like there is no tomorrow. I would NEVER in a million years say a word to the parents. I think it is right that we need to educate more than sit in judgement. If given the opportunity I would love to share some yummy alternatives for them to munch on.

I think a huge problem though and I see it over and over in the posts is using BAD food as a reward, or a "treat" I think this sends the wrong message. Is it really a "treat" to have food that robs your body of nutrients, or can cause huge spikes in blood sugar? I am not one to say that there will never be a time to eat those things, but I think teaching kids from the beginning that they don't WANT to put those things into their bodies is important. Not just to tell them No its bad, but why and what it does. For example drinking soda takes all the calcium from your bones and won't help you grow big and strong, and it will be easier for you to break a bone. That isn't fun right?

I hope that as we grow and seeing so many people on MFP becoming more educated about health and nutrition that the future generations will become more educated as well. All I can do is lead by example, and slowly people want to know what I am doing...and ask for help to get their kids to eat better too. I was requested to bring green smoothies to Christmas Dinner...imagine that?!

JennaM222

Maybe they were really female midgets on TOM

In really small clothes.

And they had just escaped the circus where they were not allowed carbs

katcod1522

:drinker:

or anything white...lol

mkmacf

If you do feel like you need to do something, become an advocate. Push local government for change to school phys. ed. programs, taxes on foods that are junk, taking toys out of happy meals, better and affordable recreation programs.

We all have some control over what goes into our bodies, and parents should be modeling healthy behaviour. Not everyone can due to income or education, or wants to. So we can help change policies that help a little bit. You come from a caring place with your concerns, but there are ways you can channel that empathy so that no one feels bad.

best of luck!

eeeekie

Eeeeekie is a smart...cookie

ha, thanks :P it's not really smarts just common sense which seems to be lacked now a days.

kschhr

It's extremely easy to act like you would be the ideal parent and do the most ideal things, when you have never done it yourself. No, having no children doesn't make you an idiot...but it means you have ZERO point of reference on the subject and are only speaking how you *think* you might act. Trust me, reality differs from your parenting ideals. Let's hope you don't have an obese child in the future.

I have babysat for children of all ages. I have friends who have children who are also my age. Saying I have zero way of knowing is ridiculous, and I'm saying these things from a logical standpoint, not just ignorance. If I have an obese child in the future, I hope someone tries to stop me from whatever I'm doing.

bcattoes

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

I think that should be a last resort. First the family should be put in nutrition education classes and counseling for what is probably food addiction. Only if the parents fail to cooperate should further action be taken. Removal of a child from the home should be only in extreme cases.

Murphy15

Why is anyone upset about this post??? It is so true (as stated above) that childhood obesity has tripled. I don't think that has anything to do with cystic fibrosis tripling as well (and I mean NO disrespect at all, I'm sure your child [and all with similar diseases] are wonderful gifts). America just likes to blame obesity on anything but themselves and parents have a responsibility to their children to make sure they do not fall in the obese category. I was never fat as a kid, and I'm sure part of that is genetics. If your kid is a little chunky and very active, I'm sure they'll grow into it! I don't think that is the situation with most of these children.

AwesomelyAmber

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

I am totally and completely in awe over the out and out "POMPOUS" know it all even tho you have NO IDEA attitude that you are showing in all of this... No, I never said that you are an idiot. But now, I am walking away before I get in trouble for saying something FAR worse. If it's not locked when I come back.... I'll be shocked!

Clarecbear82

I've had someone comment on my three year olds size and he's not even over weight he's a short stocky build and has a big head which makes him look bigger than he is. He eats very healthy food and is very active and you cant see a bit of fat on him. But because of his large head (sorry sound like a bad mum calling him big head) this person took it apon themselves to comment on his weight because he was eating sausages. I really had to bite my tounge.

As for obese children I just think its really sad when I see them and hope that if any of mine ever got anywhere near being that size I would do something about it. I see it as killing with kindness in a way when people keep feeding their children treats to make them happy. I also know what its like to be an overweight child and I wouldn't wish that on anyone

CaptainGordo

Obviously I'm not sitting down drawing out a proposal to the feds, or else I would have answers for you. In short, I feel like something needs to be put in place to regulate this. It's not okay that people can kill their kids with food. Honestly, at a very young age (say 10 and under) maybe BMI is a good way to go about it. No child is going to have enough muscle on them to make the BMI scale so inaccurate that it would say a child is obese if they weren't. Or maybe when they hit that morbid obesity, give the parents a year to get the child to a healthy weight (time probably would change depending on how overweight the child is). I'm not trying to bully parents, just trying to say that it is abuse to feed them in such ways.

I feel that the mothers that have their kids all dolled up like *kitten* for those kiddie beauty pageants are terrible, and doing some serious damage to their kids. I will never call for them to be taken away though. it's a dangerous path when you call for gov't to intervene for anything beyond protecting kids from immediate physical harm. Once you give them some power, it is nearly impossible to take it back, or keep them from wanting more.

Gov't regulation is rarely the answer to any societal ills.