Biting my tongue at seeing overweight children

katcod1522

I'm a blunt and straight forward person too, OP, and while I can say I weep for children who's parent obviously don't have the education to feed them right I also feel you are a moron for feeling this way and directing your disgust toward children who know no better.

^High 5

mlemonroe2

I like that you posted this. I wish to be this kind of parent when I have kids.

just like i thought. you don't have kids. i hope when you do and they are screaming at the store you remember this conversation! ps- not trying to be mean to you, i just remember thinking i would never take my kids to fast food places and i would never raise my voice and then i became a parent for real, and although i do feed my daughter healthy for the most part ( she even asked for apples when we go to mcdonalds) and i try not to raise my voice and i try to be consistent with time outs and so on, i understand now that no one is perfect and sometimes you just do whats easy. it's easy to judge someone when you are not in their shoes.

Destinie589

I saw the beginning of a long journey of self-esteem issues and hurt as they get older and realize how much their size is going to effect them.

I also hated myself for thinking the thoughts I had. What right do I have to judge them?

So sad!! While your reaction seems a little extreeme, If you are in the US then your tax $ will likely be paying for the diseases they contract from such an unhealthy diet and lifestyle so you have some right to complain. Being obese is as dangerous as smoking. If you saw smoking parents giving their children cigarettes everyone would say you have the right to complain.

Agreed!! People need to take responsibility... including parents. These people who say you were wrong need to get with the program. Kids all over the US are falling ill to obesity and it is borderline child abuse. In fact last month in Ohio a chid was taken by CPS because of weight and the health concerns involved.

katcod1522

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

Because ripping a child from their parents, lives, family, friends, animals, comfort of their own bed...IS EXACTLY what the child needs to get thin/healthy. -eyeroll-

Someone give me an AMEN
Why is the first thing people say is TAKE THE KIDS AWAY! It's not the solution and in fact it makes it worse.

diiiimond

this post really disturbs me! i was a morbidly obese toddler. to the point where my doctors told my mom if i she didnt change the way she fed me i would have serious health problems. so thats what my mom did and i thinned out. around 8 years old i picked the weight right back up then as i got older i started to thin out again. from then on i was probably borderline a healthy weight and overweight never what i thought was "skinny" though. around the age of 14 i went through a stage of depression and turned to food and gained a ton of weight and ever since then ive been trying to lose.

with all of that being said, i beilieve that food has always been a pacifier for me. it was when i was a child, and it followed me into my teen years, and now as an adult i still struggle with it. and i have a 10 year old brother who is going through the same thing.

i do blame my mom for allowing me to think that food is the "problem solver" at such a young age. however, i dont believe that she was aware of the damage that she was doing. it all falls back to ignorance.

so instead of judging these parents lets think of a way to educate them. so that the children can grow up as healthy as possible.

docHelen

I am a very blunt, forward person. Get a few drinks in me and I'm like a truth machine. It's both a curse and a good thing.

So the other night, a few of us went to our local cafe after hours where they were showing christmas movies. We had a few drinks, enjoyed some cafe treats, and cozied in for the politically incorrect Rudolph.

Looking to my left though, I noticed two extremely, and I mean extremely overweight girls dressed in tight multicolored dresses, the buttons on the blouses gapped and barely holding. They couldn't have been any older then 8 or 9. Mom had gotten them the cafe's baked mac and cheese, both their own, with the chowder to dip it into, and chocolate brownies for desert. The cafe also served free popcorn in which I was behind one of the girls in line, as she scooped up and filled her bowl, stopped, realizing she could fit more in, and piled it higher. I swear she snorted at me as she turned to walk back to her seat.

I felt sick. Nauseous. I couldn't even get my handful of popcorn. I wanted to eject the dinner I had and the cookies I had eaten. I wanted to say something to the mother. I was sitting next to them the whole time. Listening to them eat. Watching. It was like a horrible movie montage. As the one girl finished her mac and cheese, her smaller brother had half of his left, and so she finished his for him.

I saw the beginning of a long journey of self-esteem issues and hurt as they get older and realize how much their size is going to effect them.

I also hated myself for thinking the thoughts I had. What right do I have to judge them?

Yes. I believe you are right to judge. You didn't say anything to anyone so you didn't offend anyone that would cause a scene. People who allow their kids to eat like **** and be fat deserve to be harshly judged. Parents are making their kids fat! Might as well give your 8 year old a loaded gun to play with while they devour their mcnuggets, frosty, fries and brownies.

so dissappointing to see so many comments on here against you. we as a society have a duty to the children and you and me are that society. when parents don't parent properly society must be allowed to do it for them

timingsands

Having been on the receiving end of "your child is too fat" (I was the child), I'm glad the OP didn't say anything, as it could cause long-lasting psychological harm. I was already an introverted child, and that comment just made things worse. I still don't like going out to public places, and when I do, I wear headphones so I can't hear people, I don't wear shorts or skirts in public (having heard some ladies whisper, "look at her calves!"), I usually hide my body in loose and baggy clothing. You can judge all you want, it's your conscience, but please, do not add fuel to the fire.

CaptainGordo

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

Really? The slope gets awfully slippery here, folks. Where is the line drawn? Spooky stuff, folks. Spooky.

Yes, really. If a child is on the verge of diabetes as a result of what the parents are feeding them, you don't think that's child abuse? That those parents are obviously not fit to raise children? Once the kid turns 18 they can do as they please. But while they're still young, still learning, still molding, parents need to teach their children good habits, not ones that will possibly kill them. Disorders that affect weight don't make people obese, just overweight.

Where is the line drawn, though? A specific BMI number? A blood sugar number? What if it's shared custody, and the other parent is to blame? What if other medical conditions are to blame? Where do you propose sending these kids?

Would this be better for their quality of life -- being in foster care than being with their parent that might be making poor nutritional choices, but loves their kid dearly?

kschhr

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

theprettyone1010

I must be the only person to agree with the OP. Obesity rates in children have TRIPLED in the past decade. There's a serious problem with the lack of nutritional education parents are teaching their kids. My family has a huge problem with obesity, and I used to be obese myself. You have to learn healthy eating habits at home. If these kids don't learn now, they're going to have SERIOUS health conditions.

I would have been sickened, too. Not because they were fat but because they are going to have a low quality of life.

If being overweight was okay, then none of us would be here (on MFP) right now. The end.

apesid

Maybe they weren't even that overweight. Maybe they just had REALLY small clothes.

ElementalEscapee

I have a friend who has a terrible diet, including soda, McDonald's, fried/greasy food, sugary food, high sodium food, etc. And you know what? She's 5' 4, around 75-85 lbs usually. And she's my age. If someone sees her chowing down a burger at McDonald's, they probably won't assume that she is being "abused" by being fed the crappiest food imaginable, like they would with a big kid. They'd probably will her to eat another burger because of her smallness. If she was offered another, well, she'd probably accept it!

This thread just makes me wonder all the more how people looked at me a few years ago (even now, though I'm older), and if they thought similar thoughts as you. I grew up eating soup, veggies, fruits, all that, but still I was pudgy. My mom is overweight, although in her teen years she was skinny because she was anorexic, eating a bag of carrots and tea only, biking 16 or so miles every day, but was considered healthy. Assumptions are not always correct...and it's literally impossible not to pass some sort of judgement upon another consciously or unconsciously...that's all I have to say here.

brittanyjeanxo

No right at all. Only the maker himself can judge and although that bothered you, it was in no way shape or form your business.

Happy Holidays!

You forgot to mention the part where not everyone believes in "the maker."

Happy Holidays.

eeeekie

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

And as a obese child you would have totally understood the reason you were being ripped away from all you knew and you would have appreciated it? I think not. In fact, I'm 100% sure that would have made the problem worse.

DietingMommy08

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

I think a mother is told time and time and time again that thier childs obesity is already causing health problems and that mother is doing NOTHING to help that child lose the weight and that child is instead still GAINING weight then yes I see that as child abuse and yes that child should be taken from thier mother until they can get some kind of something under control for the both of them.

Hambone23

:noway: How DARE overweight people go out in public! I'm so sorry you had to look at that :sad:

^^ This.

CaptainGordo

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

You put a whole lot of faith in gov't -- which has a tendency to bungle everything.

DietingMommy08

I must be the only person to agree with the OP. Obesity rates in children have TRIPLED in the past decade. There's a serious problem with the lack of nutritional education parents are teaching their kids. My family has a huge problem with obesity, and I used to be obese myself. You have to learn healthy eating habits at home. If these kids don't learn now, they're going to have SERIOUS health conditions.

I would have been sickened, too. Not because they were fat but because they are going to have a low quality of life.

If being overweight was okay, then none of us would be here (on MFP) right now. The end.

Ur not the only one.
I completely agree.

BeeElMarvin

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

:mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:

For being OBESE, yes. I would recommend a system where other healthy relatives could offer to take the child in. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I would NEVER let my children get to that point. I have been an obese child, and it sucked. I would never put my children through that and if I did then I don't deserve to raise this child because I'm obviously doing something wrong.

Taking a child from an otherwise happy home is never the answer. education for the parents - education for the kids - that's the answer. Show them how to eat right. We do not live in a totalitarian society here (though it seems that way sometimes). Whether you like it or not, people have rights. You may wish to take those children out of their homes, but will you take them in?

JennaM222

Maybe they were really female midgets on TOM