Biting my tongue at seeing overweight children

DietingMommy08

It's extremely easy to act like you would be the ideal parent and do the most ideal things, when you have never done it yourself. No, having no children doesn't make you an idiot...but it means you have ZERO point of reference on the subject and are only speaking how you *think* you might act. Trust me, reality differs from your parenting ideals. Let's hope you don't have an obese child in the future.

I have babysat for children of all ages. I have friends who have children who are also my age. Saying I have zero way of knowing is ridiculous, and I'm saying these things from a logical standpoint, not just ignorance. If I have an obese child in the future, I hope someone tries to stop me from whatever I'm doing.

You dont particularly have to have children of your own to be knowledable about what is right and what is not...
Smh....
Some ppl will just look for any reason to make somebody elses opinion wrong.

killagb

It's extremely easy to act like you would be the ideal parent and do the most ideal things, when you have never done it yourself. No, having no children doesn't make you an idiot...but it means you have ZERO point of reference on the subject and are only speaking how you *think* you might act. Trust me, reality differs from your parenting ideals. Let's hope you don't have an obese child in the future.

I have babysat for children of all ages. I have friends who have children who are also my age. Saying I have zero way of knowing is ridiculous, and I'm saying these things from a logical standpoint, not just ignorance. If I have an obese child in the future, I hope someone tries to stop me from whatever I'm doing.

If you think baby sitting or having friends with children gives you the same perspective as being an actual parent....you are the ignorant one here. Good luck with that.

kschhr

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

I think that should be a last resort. First the family should be put in nutrition education classes and counseling for what is probably food addiction. Only if the parents fail to cooperate should further action be taken. Removal of a child from the home should be only in extreme cases.

I am talking extreme. Of course, everyone assumes though that I mean a child who is just overweight. Does no one watch the Maury show?

KayteeBear

First off bribing your child to be good by stuffing a donut in their face is NOT the way to get them to be good. I know, I'm not a parent so I don't truly understand what it is like to have a screamin 2 year old in the grocery store when I'm running on 3 hours of sleep BUT I still don't think it's right for parents to bribe their children with food to be good. That is not a good way to raise them because then they'll learn that every time they throw a tantrum they will get what they want. They need to learn they are not the boss and they do as mama/papa says.

And I know my younger brother used to be chubby (granted he did eat a lot of crap and still does and refuses to eat vegetables or fruits so he's definitely not very healthy) but he grew into his chub and now he's quite tall and fairly lean actually and has some muscle on him.

I used to be a chubby child. I was raised snacking on ice cream and chips and cookies and that's what I got in my school lunches. Then i got a bit older and was sick of being chubby so I made the decision to be healthy and started telling my mom to buy healthier things for me. I had my own grocery list of fruits and vegetables and multi grain breads, etc. I wish my parents would've fed me healthier food as I was growing up and not let me eat all that ice cream and chips.

And I think people are going to the extreme of saying the OP needs counseling. I'm sorry but it's completely normal to have a judgement. Almost everybody automatically judges people upon appearance even if they don't realize it. At least she didn't say anything out loud. I know I try not to judge because I don't know the full situation but I don't like seeing overweight children (especially obese) because it usually does mean getting bullied at school more (and I know just how much that sucks) and possibly health problems now or in the future and I think it's the parents job to teach their children to eat healthy. It's so much easier to build a healthy lifestyle from a young age and I don't think children should be able to eat excess amounts of fast food, ice cream, chips, pop, etc.

CharityEaton

I have a chunky kid, and if you ever approached me and told me he was fat, I'd kick you right in the pee flaps. He isn't chunky because I feed him terribly, he's chunky because he's going to be huge! His dad is 6'6 with a 52" shoulder spance. My son will grow into his body, hopefully you'll grow out of your prejudice. My son plays football, is in the running club, does karate, and is outside more than he's in the house...I feed him nothing but clean meals and the occasional treat. Unless you know the background of the child, how dare you sit in judgement!

??? Kids that grow to be big (tall and large framed) don't need to be chunky as children. Fat is fat whether it's on a 5' bodyor a 7' body.

I have a pretty large daughter as well! she is not obese or unhealthy by any means but she is a bit thicker than most kids her age.....she is also almost 6 inches taller than most kids her age! She was a whopping 20 pounds at 5 months old after being significantly underwweight for the first 2 months of her life because I was a "perfect mom" and breast fed my baby around the clock trying to do what was supposed to be "the best" the "natural" and perfect way to feed her...only to find out I was starving her to death basically because she was not getting enough to eat! I cried every 3-4 hours (her feeding times) for MONTHS as I felt like a failure for having to feed my child a bottle! She quickly gained weight because she was so hungry she would tend to overeat to satisfy a feeling that she had so long had to live with. I did not STUFF her on purpose to make her FAT I fed my baby and she rapidly gained weight because of following the doctors orders! I got made fun of all the time for how chunky my baby was. "She has cankles" "what do you feed her? Steak and potatoes?" As a 23 year old mom those comments were not so easy to hear! I was not intentionally trying to make my child overweight! Guess what, she NEVER was in the "normal" range on the growth chart she was always about 2 inches higher than that little line where she was supposed to be! She is a little on the thick side but she is healthy and beautiful. She is a tall girl and I have no doubt in my mind that she will in fact "grow out of it"
If you don't know the entire situation then judge away but you should keep your mouth shut you have no idea what it is like to be a parent. For all you know that was HALF the amount of food that child USED to eat a month ago! They may be making changes and as all of us on MFP know it takes far more work to lose the weight then it does to gain it!

bjhadden

Wow...sadly I can tell by reading these comments exactly who has children and who does not.

I have three kids...10-17....all went through a chunky stage, all were taught how to eat healthy, as best as I knew...and my ignorance took a while to be corrected. Please give parents a break...yes many have bad habits and do contribute to obesity in children, but it's not on purpose.

I always made sure my kids had three full meals a day, with vegetables, very little processed food, and we sit down together for most dinners. However 2 years ago, both my older two kids were going through puberty and both were growing like crazy, and both looked a little chubby. Since then, my son (17) has streched into his body and doesn't look an ounce overweight. My younger daughter who is 10 is just getting to her chunky stage...this has more to do with lowered outdoor activity than it does with her diet.

I have in the past year changed our family's diet for the better, and it hasn't helped in the weight department for my kids at all...some weight fluctuation is just going to happen as they grow. Some kids never have an issue at all.

What scares me after reading this, is how would I be judged (albeit silently) if I took my younger (now slightly chunky) daughter on a day out, and we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch???

Come on...I don't care what's in that stuff...I love it once in a while...and we are all alive.

To the original poster....I hope you are able to come to grips that things are rarely what they seem before you have your own children. Or you will drive yourself insane wondering what people think of you. And as for that family at the cafe...I am so glad some parents still find time to indulge their children in a dinner out and family time.

I have to say I agree with you. Parents are judged for doing what they think is best. Parenting is not easy and you can't change mistakes you can only learn from them. It is so easy for someone who doesn't have kids to judge. As a parent YOU do YOUR best and that is all YOU can do.

bbkohn

I was that fat kid growing up who's mom let her get the second helping of chicken nuggets, and do you know what? I'm GLAD she did. My mom was a chubby child (not extremely over weight, just a little chubby) and my grandmom scolded her for it her whole childhood until my mom developed an ED lost more weight then what is health and then eventually gained it all back and then some. My grandmother wrecked my mom's self confidence by doing what she did.

My parents allowed me to make my own food choices, yet still made sure I ate some healthy foods and I love them for that. They never scolded me for being overweight, they never did anything but support me. When i turned 14 I decided myself that i wanted to lose weight and I lost it all. My parents let me know that they loved me and supported me no matter what. It was great if i lost the weight, but it was okay if I didnt as well. What i ate was NO reflection on my parent's parenting. Now i'm 18 and on this site to drop 10lbs before college.
You saying anything to those kids would of only lead them to feel awful about themselves. you have no right to judge ANYONE in less you know their full story

veganbaum

Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol

LOL!!! I have a 2 year old so I totally get that!

Some parents remove their children from such situations immediately rather than allowing them to learn that temper tantrums in public will get them what they want.

DietingMommy08

I've had someone comment on my three year olds size and he's not even over weight he's a short stocky build and has a big head which makes him look bigger than he is. He eats very healthy food and is very active and you cant see a bit of fat on him. But because of his large head (sorry sound like a bad mum calling him big head) this person took it apon themselves to comment on his weight because he was eating sausages. I really had to bite my tounge.

As for obese children I just think its really sad when I see them and hope that if any of mine ever got anywhere near being that size I would do something about it. I see it as killing with kindness in a way when people keep feeding their children treats to make them happy. I also know what its like to be an overweight child and I wouldn't wish that on anyone

My 3 year old son has an oversized head too because he had excess spinal fluid around the front of his brain as a baby.
It makes him seem way bigger then he really is.
You dont sound like a terrible mom, we couldnt help that our kids have oversized heads. :laugh:

BeeElMarvin

It's extremely easy to act like you would be the ideal parent and do the most ideal things, when you have never done it yourself. No, having no children doesn't make you an idiot...but it means you have ZERO point of reference on the subject and are only speaking how you *think* you might act. Trust me, reality differs from your parenting ideals. Let's hope you don't have an obese child in the future.

I have babysat for children of all ages. I have friends who have children who are also my age. Saying I have zero way of knowing is ridiculous, and I'm saying these things from a logical standpoint, not just ignorance. If I have an obese child in the future, I hope someone tries to stop me from whatever I'm doing.

You really are proving the very point that others have made. A babysitter is not a parent. A friend of parents is not a parent. You have a completely different point of reference than those who are parents.

CaptainGordo

I am talking extreme.

Who makes that call? Again, slippery slope.

Does no one watch the Maury show?

Hell no! :laugh:

katcod1522

Did she just say the "Maury" show?? I bet you watch Dr. Oz too..hahahaha.

nurseygirl66

QUOTE:


QUOTE:

If we accept our kids walking around with their pants off their butts, then let them eat as they wish. We will reap what we sow.


Wut?



What does how you wear your clothing have to do with how we let our children eat?!
Pretty sure letting your pants hang off your butt dont cause diabetes or other diseases that are caused from unhealthy eating.



UM, that was about accountability, not causing diabetes. And not ONE disease is solely caused by unhealthy eating- some of them might be sped up a bit, however. Everyone will die of something, and it's best to indulge in food, alcohol, etc in moderation. My point was that we are hesitant to hold each other accountable, such as how society's kids eat, act, folks work ethics, respect for others etc.

DietingMommy08

Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol

LOL!!! I have a 2 year old so I totally get that!

Some parents remove their children from such situations immediately rather than allowing them to learn that temper tantrums in public will get them what they want.

Apparently that makes far too much sense for some. Lol.

Want2weigh165

I have a chunky kid, and if you ever approached me and told me he was fat, I'd kick you right in the pee flaps. He isn't chunky because I feed him terribly, he's chunky because he's going to be huge! His dad is 6'6 with a 52" shoulder spance. My son will grow into his body, hopefully you'll grow out of your prejudice. My son plays football, is in the running club, does karate, and is outside more than he's in the house...I feed him nothing but clean meals and the occasional treat. Unless you know the background of the child, how dare you sit in judgement!

??? Kids that grow to be big (tall and large framed) don't need to be chunky as children. Fat is fat whether it's on a 5' bodyor a 7' body.

actually my newphew is 10 he eat REALLY good foods and my sister rarely lets them eat a lot of junk. He's about twice as big as other kids his age he is solid, tall and big boned. with his shirt on he looks like a thick, chunky kid, but if you knew what he looked like at home its b/c of his large frame so you are actually not correct about fat being fat, some will just have bigger bones and bodies than others

veganbaum

Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol

I am the exact opposite... either of my boys start going nuts for something NO CHANCE they get it. No matter what it is!

This my kid acts out Im not going to reward her with a donut hahaha.. she will be having her privlidges at home taken away.

Oops, point made.

kschhr

It's extremely easy to act like you would be the ideal parent and do the most ideal things, when you have never done it yourself. No, having no children doesn't make you an idiot...but it means you have ZERO point of reference on the subject and are only speaking how you *think* you might act. Trust me, reality differs from your parenting ideals. Let's hope you don't have an obese child in the future.

I have babysat for children of all ages. I have friends who have children who are also my age. Saying I have zero way of knowing is ridiculous, and I'm saying these things from a logical standpoint, not just ignorance. If I have an obese child in the future, I hope someone tries to stop me from whatever I'm doing.

If you think baby sitting or having friends with children gives you the same perspective as being an actual parent....you are the ignorant one here. Good luck with that.

No. I said that saying I have ZERO point of reference is ridiculous. I didn't say I know everything, nor do I think that.


I would also like to point out that you guys are way overreacting. I get shot at so much for agreeing randomly with something that I have to fight for something I don't believe in to the full extent.

CHILL OUT, EVERYONE.

mmmichelle8486

It's extremely easy to act like you would be the ideal parent and do the most ideal things, when you have never done it yourself. No, having no children doesn't make you an idiot...but it means you have ZERO point of reference on the subject and are only speaking how you *think* you might act. Trust me, reality differs from your parenting ideals. Let's hope you don't have an obese child in the future.

I have babysat for children of all ages. I have friends who have children who are also my age. Saying I have zero way of knowing is ridiculous, and I'm saying these things from a logical standpoint, not just ignorance. If I have an obese child in the future, I hope someone tries to stop me from whatever I'm doing.

If you think baby sitting or having friends with children gives you the same perspective as being an actual parent....you are the ignorant one here. Good luck with that.

THIS x8383498324932

I babysat for years. I had friends with kids. Then, I popped out a couple handsome little devils. And 16 months later... a GIRL (yikes) This is a whole different ball game in a different court my friend. Get back at us when you have tried it.

taramaureen

Why is anyone upset about this post??? It is so true (as stated above) that childhood obesity has tripled. I don't think that has anything to do with cystic fibrosis tripling as well (and I mean NO disrespect at all, I'm sure your child [and all with similar diseases] are wonderful gifts). America just likes to blame obesity on anything but themselves and parents have a responsibility to their children to make sure they do not fall in the obese category. I was never fat as a kid, and I'm sure part of that is genetics. If your kid is a little chunky and very active, I'm sure they'll grow into it! I don't think that is the situation with most of these children.

I find this post offensive because the OP is directing her disgust towards CHILDREN instead of at the parent and circumstances that made them that way.

If you find it disgusting DO something about it, don't sit and say you're going to throw up because you can't stand seeing a fat child eat.

CaptainGordo

I get shot at so much for agreeing randomly with something that I have to fight for something I don't believe in to the full extent.

If you don't believe in it to the full extent, then why say it? Have you changed your mind on the matter? That's okay too, and I think that everyone would respect that.

capaxinfiniti

Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.

The US needs this, hardcore.

I think that should be a last resort. First the family should be put in nutrition education classes and counseling for what is probably food addiction. Only if the parents fail to cooperate should further action be taken. Removal of a child from the home should be only in extreme cases.

I am talking extreme. Of course, everyone assumes though that I mean a child who is just overweight. Does no one watch the Maury show?

By allowing that the government take those children away, you're causing the taxpayers and government to do what the parents should be doing (taking nutrition classes, learning about health, other education).

By doing that you're just letting the parents off the hook and it's ridiculous.

And I do watch the Maury Show with those overweight children. And what did they do? They offered those women education and help from a counselor, not call CPS and snatch those children away. :grumble:

katcod1522

so..our local walmart used to have a mcdonalds..they took it out and put in a Subway. Who said Walmart was dumb?? *looking around*

Oh yes..I am the BAD mother for giving my child a Krispy Kreme. Sure..ok.

Want2weigh165

Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol

LOL!!! I have a 2 year old so I totally get that!

Some parents remove their children from such situations immediately rather than allowing them to learn that temper tantrums in public will get them what they want.

some children blah blah blah.. yeah you try taking a 2 year old to the post office while you wait in line to mail a package and they continue to run for the door and want to play... they scream and holler and throw fits do you lose your place in line to leave and mail the package later or do you take the sucker that the post office employee offers to calm him down?? hmmm, I take the sucker and it usually it works so the hell with you saying you can immediately leave when it comes to temper tantrums and let's see how it works out for you

ahoefs87

I too get upset seeing overweight children and mothers stuffing their faces, but there comes a time in everyone's life when they have the option to say no to food. Over eating is one thing, I am several hundred pounds and I got here from self esteem issues, traumatic events and a food addiction that I am now working on battling. But, unless you know why those children are over weight we cant judge, even though everyone seems to. Being overweight can be caused from several issues, especially in children. Medical, mental and parental. I dont know if you wanted to vomit because of the children themselves or if you wanted to vomit because it upset you to see them and their future struggles,either way that is a harsh comment. Thank God, these children arent reading this because it could mentally scar them! You are thin, and I am disappointed to read such a blog!

chenna14

So sad!! While your reaction seems a little extreeme, If you are in the US then your tax $ will likely be paying for the diseases they contract from such an unhealthy diet and lifestyle so you have some right to complain.

The complaint should be with the gov't taking the money and using it to pay for folks' poor decisions, not the individual.

How long is it going to take for the govt to fix these issues? Exactly.. Don't blame the govt for something you can proactively prevent.

kschhr

Did she just say the "Maury" show?? I bet you watch Dr. Oz too..hahahaha.

No, I don't watch Dr Oz. I find him extremely ignorant and obnoxious.
In reference to the Maury show, I was speaking specifically about the episode about morbidly obese children that was run years ago, not whatever it is he's doing now.

CaptainGordo

And I do watch the Maury Show with those overweight children. And what did they do? They offered those women education and help from a counselor, not call CPS and snatch those children away. :grumble:

Do they throw in any free paternity testing too? :laugh:

kschhr

I get shot at so much for agreeing randomly with something that I have to fight for something I don't believe in to the full extent.

If you don't believe in it to the full extent, then why say it? Have you changed your mind on the matter? That's okay too, and I think that everyone would respect that.

It's not that my mind has changed, it's that I agreed that we need SOMETHING that tells parents of obese children that what they're doing is not okay. People are putting words in my mouth so fast I can't even read them all.

Troll

wow, im that blunt all the time, and i dont drink. And sure, there are kids with odd dietary needs, but no diet calls for 3lbs of mac and cheese, buttered popcorn, brownies, and a milkshake in one sitting, especially for an 8 year old. And the op does not need therapy for getting squicked out. Im disgusted by overweight people eating junk food in much the same way i get disgusted seeing people smoke or take handfulls of vicodin. It's detrimental to their health and i dont particularly enjoy watching people kill themselves. However, i have the option of simply turning my head and not staring, which is the option i pick. Overweight children under about ten years old bother me, because that is simply the parent's food choices. No 5 year old can buy their own double whopper and fries.

katcod1522

Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol

LOL!!! I have a 2 year old so I totally get that!

Some parents remove their children from such situations immediately rather than allowing them to learn that temper tantrums in public will get them what they want.

some children blah blah blah.. yeah you try taking a 2 year old to the post office while you wait in line to mail a package and they continue to run for the door and want to play... they scream and holler and throw fits do you lose your place in line to leave and mail the package later or do you take the sucker that the post office employee offers to calm him down?? hmmm, I take the sucker and it usually it works so the hell with you saying you can immediately leave when it comes to temper tantrums and let's see how it works out for you

WOOT ,WOOT! At this point...there be a damn sucker for me too! :):)