'You'd be more attractive if you were thinner'

JDBLY11

First of all, you're a master at question-traps! Backing your man into a corner with no option but to dig down!

My reply here is going to be a cliche one - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's all depends on the individual.

To answer your question specifically, I've been told by many people that I should lose weight to look better. The fat covers your body and you lose your 'distinctive' cheek bones, jaw lines and general muscle tone which I believe adds a lot to general attractiveness.
But I'm more on the side of I tell people they would look more attractive if the lost the excess weight. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a terrible and heartless person who wants to make people feel bad for being overweight (**spoiler** I"M OVERWEIGHT TOO! **GASP**), I just believe it to be true.

It's one of my main reasons to lose weight as well - to 'feel' more attractive. Notice the emphasis on the word 'feel', because its all depends on the individual.

I was not very physically attracted to my husband when I first met him. He was not really my type, but I really loved his personality and we could talk to each other for hours on end about anything and everything. He loves me more than I love him I think and that really works in our relationship. I have grown to find him very sexy though. Don't dish someone just because you don't find them sexy they may be the one who loves you unconditionally.

matabiau

My ticker is just my jaw line of my senior pic!! I know i am prettier thinner.
But i dont look good skinny. It seems that i dont need to worry much about that one though!!

ready to take some pounds more if i had your smile

seanezekiel

I may make some enemies by saying this but I don't see the problem. We all have different qualities we are physically attracted to. It doesn't make a person evil not be attracted to heavier people. For example this is me...

I like long hair more then short hair
I like lighter colored eyes more then darker.
I have no preference in regards to hair color.
I have no preference in regards to race.
I like women shorter then me and greatly dislike taller then me.
I like women with a little extra weight on them.
I find very thin women unattractive.
I like women with hips.
I like mid-range breasts, not HUGE and not non existent.


Does any of the above mean I won't fall for someone who does not meet all of that? of course not, love is stronger then all of this.

Now society is a little messed up. I can say I am not attracted to very thin women and people shrug but if I were to say I am not attracted to heavy women all hell would break loose and suddenly I am Satan.

When I weighed over 300lbs I had attractive small women date or show interest in me. Not very often but it happened. I am pretty nice and can make anyone smile and laugh. The nice guys finish last thing is not true. Now that i am getting more in shape I most certainly seem to have more interest from women but does that mean the girls who liked me when I was bigger are better people then those that didn't? Of course not.

Fat_Bottomed_Girl

This probably isn't very helpful, but I've overheard someone saying about me, "--great body but look at her face."

At least weight you can control, right?

Your face is beautiful! -What an idiot!

JDBLY11

OMigod, have women really said that to you?? Pretty disgusting. I apologize!! not all women are like that, that's for sure!

To summarize without going into gory depth, yes women have said that to me often. It's one of the biggest reasons I started buckling down on my weight. Granted I was only about 40 lbs over but people equate 40 lbs over as the same as 200 lbs over. Once you get to a certain point it doesn't matter anymore.

Whenever people try to pass this off as a gender thing (meaning that women are so open about dating, but men are only interested in barbie) i have to laugh my *kitten* off because I have found it to be equal no matter what gender we're talking about.

Some people like to lie about what is really attractive, and they also like to be lied to about their own attractiveness.
I value truth.

I've know too many ladies who ditch Mr Right to go bed down some great looking guy who treated them like dirt.

We all know people like this, and some guys fall victim as well.
I want to be equally yoked, and my SO told it to me straight.

You are TOO FAT!
You are unattractive.

OUCH! The truth hurt, but it got me out of the problem and into the solution.
Anybody too thin skinned to accept reality can just stay in lah lah land with false compliments and a fake love that transcends mere physical beauty.

Yea, right....

You know from the other side being married and fairly happy I have found that appearance does not really matter much in a relationship on a day to day basis. Sure it is a nice icing on the cake, but It is much more important that your man wants to provide for you and will always be faithful you you and love you no matter what and be committed to you. I wish I had pushed my husband more in the financial provision area before I got married. I was so used to being well provided for that I assumed that would fall into place. It did not for years though and just now my husband is starting a job. If I could go back and do it over I would have pushed him to finish his Ph.D. or not gotten married at all. It would have solved so many problems and I don't think I would have the weight problem I have now, at least not as bad. I have gained over 100 lbs over the course of our marriage. I am happy I got 2 out of 3 and he will improve starting next month in the financial provision area and probably will be a teacher in the next few years.

As far as women go, I want my son to marry a modest, caring, healthy-weight girl who loves children and old people. It puts my husband through a lot and our marriege through unneeded difficulty being over 150 lbs over a healthy bmi. We want children and to have a great sex life but that really is not possible for us ( though apparently it is for others) when I am at this weight. I try to make my husband feel sexy though and fulfill him in the ways I can but it still isn't enough.

fufi04

Yes, but it was an old Lady I worked with lol

Rarity2013

I've heard it. Oddly enough I only ever heard it when I was at my thinnest.

I prefer to think of it as less of an a****** comment that it sounds. People generally have different preferences on what they find attractive, so I try not to judge myself on just one person's opinion. There are a hundred billion adult websites making money from people who think you'd be more attractive if you gained 150lbs.

Probably one of the nicest compliments I ever received was from an old work colleague who only ever dated very petite girls (UK 6-8). I was a size 12 at the time, and he said "you're moderately attractive". Because I knew I was so different physically to his usual type, it felt like the most flattering thing anyone had ever said!