Cheating Question for guys ! HELP

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  • twinsanity
    twinsanity Posts: 1,847 Member
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    I am a *major* flirt. I am engaged and pretty happy with my fiance. I have some friends, even pals on here, who'd I give my number and text each other now and then, we support and try to cheer-up one another. I have some female friends that call me babe, honey, suga' daddy, papi, and other pet names that might be misconstrued as sexual without the right context. Those names do not mean I am messing around with any of them!

    The same is true with me...I work in with a bunch of guys and call them all babe, sweetie, honey - whatever. I do it with women, too. Doesn't mean I'm doing anything with any of them.
  • lynzy713
    lynzy713 Posts: 67 Member
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    I won't say people can't change...but if you chose to stay make sure he finds some way to prove to you that it's over with her and that you cant trust him and figure out if you can forgive him and let it be in the past. Only you will know what that will take for you. Not everyone has the same outcome in these situations so you have to take some time to think about what's right in your situation.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    Are you retarded?
    Lovely. Just lovely... :huh:
  • boobee32
    boobee32 Posts: 450 Member
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    I say..go with your gut!! I think you know what is goin on. He deleted his texts back to her?? REALLY?? How convenient. He should nt be texting her anyway.

    Dont get caught in something that is already falling apart!!
    I say the wrting is pretty clear on the walls.
  • MrsSmith2010
    MrsSmith2010 Posts: 225 Member
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    How does she know he's tired??? If my husband knew someone was interested in him, he would have zero contact with her. She wouldn't even have the chance to know anything like that.

    On another hand, this is probably something you should be discussing with him and following your heart. You're going to get a lot of opinions, some of them probably too blunt, that will falter the truthful image.

    Good luck dear..
  • boobee32
    boobee32 Posts: 450 Member
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    Really?

    Are you retarded?

    Even if he hasn't slept with this chick something isn't right.

    Confronting her makes you look stupid btw. She might not know or knows and gets off on it.

    Move on.

    Nothing good can come of it.

    I think maybe if his response was "I dont think my girl would appericate reading this back off" would be the only reason to stay.

    WELL,...you will never know what his true response was....he deleted the text!!!!!
  • twinsanity
    twinsanity Posts: 1,847 Member
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    After reading this I'm wondering Am I the only person who has a lock code on their phone?
    Not even almost the only one!
  • ogosun
    ogosun Posts: 175 Member
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    I am a *major* flirt. I am engaged and pretty happy with my fiance. I have some friends, even pals on here, who'd I give my number and text each other now and then, we support and try to cheer-up one another. I have some female friends that call me babe, honey, suga' daddy, papi, and other pet names that might be misconstrued as sexual without the right context. Those names do not mean I am messing around with any of them!

    I'd say talk to him. Hear him out, if you don't trust his version, do some digging around. Just don't jump to conclusions. And maybe you should start offering massages to him, he might take his friend on the offer...the point is, strengthen the relationship through communication, don't weaken it with jealousy.




    OH PLEASE.... come on now... are u for real.... don't listen to this guy and don't waster your nerves "digging around" i think your better then that.... sounds like this guy is the same as your guy.... "L" on his forehead.... A girl should never ever run after a guy.... EVER or digg for facts... BS....
  • lynzy713
    lynzy713 Posts: 67 Member
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    last comment....if it were just friends then there'd be no reason to hide her/not talk to you about her.
  • Indy_Mario
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    I am a *major* flirt. I am engaged and pretty happy with my fiance. I have some friends, even pals on here, who'd I give my number and text each other now and then, we support and try to cheer-up one another. I have some female friends that call me babe, honey, suga' daddy, papi, and other pet names that might be misconstrued as sexual without the right context. Those names do not mean I am messing around with any of them!

    The same is true with me...I work in with a bunch of guys and call them all babe, sweetie, honey - whatever. I do it with women, too. Doesn't mean I'm doing anything with any of them.
    Thank you! It means nothing than words. If you're not willing to believe him, either:
    A. He's lying, and yes, RUN!
    B. You suffer from insecurities (who doesn't?!) and should talk to him about them and let him know you're not okay with this type or relationships between him and other females. OR
    C. Perhaps your insecurities warrant enough attention to talk so a third party (a pro, perhaps)
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
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    moving overseas means that for a few months we will be apart ...i can already feel my heart wondering ..is he cheating on me`
    would he do that to me again...

    I love myself more than that ...that´s not way to live. maybe i dont love him as much.
    he will have on chance explain..either way im out of the house ..if he really cares for me ..he would find a way to gain my trust ..if that is even option..i have a feeling i could enjoy being single again ...this whole engagement moving to another country ...was just draining me ..i have to admit.

    Oh Jesus H Christ.

    Pull my man card as well, but for god's sakes, its staring you in the face. He's cheating.

    For the record, guys don't cheat just because they want sex. They cheat because they are unhappy or unfulfilled in their relationship, but unwilling or too scared to break it off and find someone else.

    Trust me on this one. I was in this situation, and cheating was the worst mistake I ever made. I knew I didn't want to be with the woman I was with, but thought maybe if I just had other people I would be happy.

    I wasn't.

    I broke off my LONG LONG LONG term relationship, and started fresh. I should have ended it from the getgo, instead of "testing the waters" so to speak.

    As for all that crap about "Once a cheater, always a cheater" thats a line of crap. When a man (Or a woman) finds someone she is truly happy with and wants to be with, they aren't cheaters.

    Again, people cheat because they are unhappy, not for pure physical sex.
  • TiffanyDeanee
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    I am a *major* flirt. I am engaged and pretty happy with my fiance. I have some friends, even pals on here, who'd I give my number and text each other now and then, we support and try to cheer-up one another. I have some female friends that call me babe, honey, suga' daddy, papi, and other pet names that might be misconstrued as sexual without the right context. Those names do not mean I am messing around with any of them!

    I'd say talk to him. Hear him out, if you don't trust his version, do some digging around. Just don't jump to conclusions. And maybe you should start offering massages to him, he might take his friend on the offer...the point is, strengthen the relationship through communication, don't weaken it with jealousy.

    I seriously have a problem with this response. Really? I wonder how long your fiance is going to stay around. And it is obvious that your "female friends" have no respect for the relationship you have with your fiance. And how would you feel if some of your fiance's " male friends" was calling her some of those names? The whole point of being engaged to someone is starting down the road to where you will love, honor, respect, obey, and cherish your partner. There is no room for infidelity or constantly "flirting" with these so called "female friends" no matter how big of a flirt you are. To me that is just a BIG excuse to try to hide the fact that you are not giving your significant other the respect that they deserve.

    Call the other woman and see what is going on, if she doesn't answer or hangs up on you when you confront her, that is your answer. If nothing is going on I'm pretty sure she would be happy to tell you so. But for right now that text sounds like it is more intimate than it should be.
  • SuperMoniMonk
    SuperMoniMonk Posts: 467 Member
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    Update : talk to the girl ..she is way older than me ..she has known him for years and she has been lying to her too.

    so it's so over...im glad i found out before getting married . He is acting way to shady and i know alll i need to know.

    thank you all ..
    im ok..single and available hooray! hahaha
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    Update : talk to the girl ..she is way older than me ..she has known him for years and she has been lying to her too.

    so it's so over...im glad i found out before getting married . He is acting way to shady and i know alll i need to know.

    thank you all ..
    im ok..single and available hooray! hahaha

    Don't be "available" too quickly! Heal, get over this, and find someone who is WORTH you! You mean more than a turd in a man-suit!
  • Nopedotjpeg
    Nopedotjpeg Posts: 1,806 Member
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    Update : talk to the girl ..she is way older than me ..she has known him for years and she has been lying to her too.

    so it's so over...im glad i found out before getting married . He is acting way to shady and i know alll i need to know.

    thank you all ..
    im ok..single and available hooray! hahaha

    So...how YOU doooin?

    Too soon?
  • SuperMoniMonk
    SuperMoniMonk Posts: 467 Member
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    I'm ok ..it hurts but I'm thankful to have found out about this whole thing now ..rather than later. I'm spending time with friends , i had my doubts about marrying before i found those texts ..the truth came out at the right time.
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
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    Do you want me to kick his *kitten*?

    I'm sure there would be plenty of volunteers who would help!
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
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    You need to change your ticker to say that you lost 180 lbs (or whatever he weighs) of totally useless flesh.

    I'm proud of you for leaving. I can't imagine that was easy but it's definitely the best thing to do. I know this isn't how you intended 2012 to go but I bet by this time next year you will be so much happier and healthier you won't even recognize the girl who was with that loser. ((HUG))