Husband left me because of weight. NEW motivation.
lauraallover
Posts: 28 Member
My husband left me in December because of my weight. When we married I was 200 lbs, and when I moved to Korea (we were stationed there) I was 240. He became disgusted with my weight. Fair enough. I understand to an extent. I joined here and lost 20 lbs (and was doing GREAT) but he generally started to become unsupportive. Would tell me he didn't see any changes. Blah blah blah.
We moved back to the US in December and he told me he wanted me to take charge of my weight. I agreed and decided once we'd get to Georgia (which was where our next duty station was, and where we were going at the end of Dec) I'd take charge 110% NO excuses. My husband decided he didn't want to risk it though and eventually ended up calling me "lazy" and a "fat '*****'" He pretty much gave me the same reason for cheating on me, too.
I feel pretty low. The one person who was supposed to love me for who I am, in SICKness and in health turned their back on me. Although I could understand if I had gone to GA and not made ONE OUNCE of change, I was dedicated to making a difference. It makes me sad, honestly. There had been times before I told him I would lose it and didn't (You know how that goes) and he eventually told me he didn't believe me when I told him I'd lose it when we got to GA. I know for some people that makes them want to "prove them wrong" but for me, it's so disheartening.
I'm trying to keep my head up though. I'm only twenty. I'm young. I have a lot of life ahead of me. And, I'm happy to say, I'm going to be back on here a lot more. I won a Wii recently and Just Dance 3 and that's a whole lot of work out! Plus, I recently got a job at a Daycare which requires none stop movement. I've lost quite a bit of weight so far, but I'm looking to really push myself now. I want my ex to feel like a stupid fool when I see him at his sisters wedding in September. Today I'm tracking my food to see what my eating habits are like and what I need to change. (I never give up food, I just cut back)
I'm pretty excited to be back on here.
We moved back to the US in December and he told me he wanted me to take charge of my weight. I agreed and decided once we'd get to Georgia (which was where our next duty station was, and where we were going at the end of Dec) I'd take charge 110% NO excuses. My husband decided he didn't want to risk it though and eventually ended up calling me "lazy" and a "fat '*****'" He pretty much gave me the same reason for cheating on me, too.
I feel pretty low. The one person who was supposed to love me for who I am, in SICKness and in health turned their back on me. Although I could understand if I had gone to GA and not made ONE OUNCE of change, I was dedicated to making a difference. It makes me sad, honestly. There had been times before I told him I would lose it and didn't (You know how that goes) and he eventually told me he didn't believe me when I told him I'd lose it when we got to GA. I know for some people that makes them want to "prove them wrong" but for me, it's so disheartening.
I'm trying to keep my head up though. I'm only twenty. I'm young. I have a lot of life ahead of me. And, I'm happy to say, I'm going to be back on here a lot more. I won a Wii recently and Just Dance 3 and that's a whole lot of work out! Plus, I recently got a job at a Daycare which requires none stop movement. I've lost quite a bit of weight so far, but I'm looking to really push myself now. I want my ex to feel like a stupid fool when I see him at his sisters wedding in September. Today I'm tracking my food to see what my eating habits are like and what I need to change. (I never give up food, I just cut back)
I'm pretty excited to be back on here.
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Replies
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He is a complete jerk! I have been married to the same man for 23 years he has seen me at many different weights.
He has supported and loved me at all of them, and continues to every day. I think you should consider yourself lucky
that he is gone. You deserve the best, and he wasn't it. Stay with it and you will do great!0 -
That's horrible, if he really cared he would have been more supportive. You go and show him now that you're going to lose weight and be even sexier!0
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Thanks girls! I definitely will be doing so! For saying he's in the army, he's getting close to being kicked because HE'S gaining weight...! Karma!!!
I'm really excited though. It's not just about being healthy anymore. It's about being a gorgeous AND healthy woman!0 -
Men! ARGH! My ex husband took a video of me walking in front of him, then showed it to me and said 'And you wonder why I don't find you attractive?' referring to my bum. He's now with a stick 10 years younger than us.
Lose the weight, because you know you CAN do it, and you don't need your husband to insult you into doing it. Do it for you (AND to make him wish he'd never said a bad word about you)! And when you go to that wedding and his eyes pop out and he wants you back, remind him that he cheated on you, and that is unforgivable.
Good luck, hun!
:flowerforyou:0 -
Men! ARGH! My ex husband took a video of me walking in front of him, then showed it to me and said 'And you wonder why I don't find you attractive?'
wtf
So weird.0 -
What an *kitten*! He should be encouraging you, not calling you fat and lazy! This is definitely your new motivation
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Definately a jerk. While this might be a great motivator for you, remember that you need to do this for you and no one else. If he didn't love you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best. You are doing great so far. Keep it up.0
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Sorry you are going thru this sweetie -- but get this, yes you might have some extra lbs, but that doesn't give anyone the right to treat you as he did. When you make the decision to lose weight it has to be because you want to do so, not because anyone is making you to.
This is your chance to love you, for you. Take care of yourself as noone in this world can. Concentrate on the fact that you are a complete person - God doesn't make incomplete. Of course I can only comment on what you wrote - but it seems he only used your weight as an excuse - real love means respect, encouragement, and support - not forceful implementation of ones feelings or thoughts to those who we love.
you are on the right path, and you will find more than enough people here who will support you on your journey 0 -
Lose the weight, because you know you CAN do it, and you don't need your husband to insult you into doing it. Do it for you (AND to make him wish he'd never said a bad word about you)! And when you go to that wedding and his eyes pop out and he wants you back, remind him that he cheated on you, and that is unforgivable.
Good luck, hun!
:flowerforyou:
This!! What a jerk, you deserve so much better than that!0 -
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boys are jerks..
you're cute....
happy tracking!0 -
wow thats ****ed up. guys like that are jerks and dont deserve your love. my bf may call me chubby sometimes and i call him fat cat as well, but we are not messed up to each other. were currently starting MFP and excersize so you need a man that will support you. im 20 as well. find yourself a REAL man! no jerks that didnt learn manners and respect!0
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Wow. I don't even know what to say to that! What a d*ckwad!!
You can do this! Do it for you because you are an amazing woman and are worth it!!0 -
Holy crap. This man is a monster.
You are worth so much more than that honey.0 -
Lose the weight for you, because you want to. And mail him a picture when you are where you want to be. Good riddance...he sounds like a jerk looking for a reason to justify cheating.0
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Girl you should of told that man what I tell my boyfriend when he's got something to say about what I'm eating. I tell that man that there's plenty of men out there that love fat chicks. But I do think that it's the male and females job to stay the same weight that they were before they were married. But hell life happens and weight is never an exscue for infidelity. I have a zero tolerance policy in my relationship. I don't play when it comes to other women.0
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Thanks girls! I definitely will be doing so! For saying he's in the army, he's getting close to being kicked because HE'S gaining weight...! Karma!!!
I'm really excited though. It's not just about being healthy anymore. It's about being a gorgeous AND healthy woman!
You're a beautiful girl! He doesn't deserve you and you're better off without him! You're still very young and you will meet the man of your dreams who will treat you like a princess!!
Use your anger at him to motivate yourself and picture yourself bumping into him looking amazing!!!0 -
There are good guys out there. I was 170 lbs in high school when I started dating my husband... I was 255 when I joined here at 25 years old and he still said I was beautiful. I'll be honest he may find me less attractive (I find me less attractive now so can't really hold it against him) but he doesn't tell me that.
He has been really supportive. The only thing he asks is that I don't force him to not eat what he wants to. He is slowly starting to come around to the idea that he should join me here... but he isn't quite there yet. (he also isn't as heavy and doesn't have high blood pressure so he has more time)...
You will find a guy that treats you right. One thing I have to say though... don't lose the weight to make him jealous and get him back. Make him jealous is ok... but don't take him back. He doesn't deserve you. 0 -
Whatever do, however much you lose, just make sure YOU do it for YOU! 0
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You're well rid of him, i'd say!! :flowerforyou:0
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He is a complete jerk! I have been married to the same man for 23 years he has seen me at many different weights.
He has supported and loved me at all of them, and continues to every day. I think you should consider yourself lucky
that he is gone. You deserve the best, and he wasn't it. Stay with it and you will do great!
Ditto (I have the same type of husband)
Hard road to take but You'll look back and be so thankful.
Not every person you'll meet will be like him.0 -
Lose the weight for you, because you want to. And mail him a picture when you are where you want to be. Good riddance...he sounds like a jerk looking for a reason to justify cheating.
And when that numbnut comes around wanting you back - tell him to go grab a bottle of motion-lotion for the piss-pump and go back to the psycho ward he escaped from....
What a ****less wonder...
Sorry for the profanity but what THAT guy pulled was more PROFANE AND VULGAR!0 -
I got married at 17 and spent 13 years with a jerk of a man. When I gained 54 pounds during my first pregnancy it took me almost 2 years to lose it. Then I got pregnant again. He wasn't subtle about his "fat jokes" and made his opinions very clear. I tried losing weight FOR HIM but I was an emotional eater so of course it never worked. He was verbally, mentally and physically abusive. I finally found the courage to leave him just after I turned 30. I'm 38 now and in July I married my first true love. We dated in high school when I was 110 pounds. The day we married I weighed 250. He loves me for me no matter what. Great guys are out there and that sad excuse of a man didn't deserve me. Yours doesn't either love. You have done an amazing job and like me, probably found that you get better results when you are doing it for you and not someone else! Keep it up girl!0
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he's a jerk, you're just a young thing, my baby is older than you lol!
Why are you still going to his sister's wedding where presumably all his family will be though???? Will you be ok or will it be weird?
Good luck to you on your journey, life should be good to you x0 -
Wow! He is a jerk. You are beautiful! You show him what you can do but make sure you are doing it for YOU. You can do this. Wishing you all the best with it :flowerforyou:0
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I'm only twenty. I'm young. I have a lot of life ahead of me.
I'm pretty excited to be back on here.
You can do it! Do it for yourself! II know it's tough, but he wasn't worthy of you. You deserve to be happy and healthy and everything that comes with it. Smile and know that you are awesome and he is nothing.
Feel free to friend me if you need a reminder of this ever 0 -
The process of losing weight and learning about yourself will keep you feeling awesome when you get low. Besides, being hot and single is fun. Enjoy it. 0
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Lose the weight for you, because you want to. And mail him a picture when you are where you want to be. Good riddance...he sounds like a jerk looking for a reason to justify cheating.
I second this!! What a moron - it wasn't because of anything you did wrong, and don't let his negativity tell you otherwise. I was 165-170lbs when I first started dating my husband and last year I capped out at 242. He still tells me that I'm beautiful. He also has gone from about 320lbs to 365 and is now down to 295 and I have loved him and thought he was the most gorgeous man alive at each and every measurement of the scale. We are both now on MFP to better our health so that we can have long and happy lives together! There are better men out there and you absolutely deserve one!0 -
You are much better out of this so-called relationship - the man sounds like he has personality issues. It makes me question why he married you in the first place.
He sounds like a controller and a bully so I am glad in a way it has happened now and not in 10, 20 years time when he had worn you down. You are very young and I hope resilient - take it as a lesson learned, bounce back, lose the weight and don't give the jerk another thought.
Lose the weight for yourself, don't worry about the wedding or making him want you back - he's not worth your time.
The universe will send your true man at the right time have no concerns about that.
Your future will be great - I wish you much happiness0 -
What the crap. I'm sorry but he's a jerk!
You make these changes for YOU!0
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