Husband left me because of weight. NEW motivation.
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You cannot let him upset you, he sounds like he did not want to be in a relationship and just used your weight as an excuse. But it is great that you are wanting to lose some weight and get in shape. You need to do this for YOU and not anyone else (it will be a great feeling at the wedding when you see him and your lose weight and are all done up). You can do this just stay motivated keep logging and don't stop moving. I have to lose approx. 45lbs by next may, cause I am in a wedding. I am the oldest person standing up so I told myself I am not going to be the odest and heavyest, LOL.
I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope you do not let your past weigh on your heart. That chapter of your life is over, you are young and beautiful....
Take Care,
Kim0 -
No longer being attracted is one thing. Being a tool about it is another. Also, would smang.0
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I completely understand what you are going through and sympathize with you. I am an ex military wife, and I believe the military in general breeds this attitude of cheating and berating. It steals emotions and sensitivity. Attitudes like "what goes on during TDY, stays on TDY" encourages cheating. I live by a large army post here in Oklahoma and have met only a handful of soldiers who haven't cheated. I have even dated a guy who told me his fiance had died in a car wreck years ago and surprise! His fiance--now his wife--call me and ask me who I am. I've also noticed young soldiers seem to crave their buddies approval when it comes to women. When I was going through my divorce, I called my ex and his friend answered and proceeded to tell me I was so fat I should kill myself. They are downright cruel and treat it as a game. Instead of loving and supporting, they become embarrassed because of their friends. It is a story I hear over and over again.
Sounds like your surrounding yourself with the wrong people. I know it goes on. Not everyone is like that though. Cheating goes on in the civilian world just as much as in the military. Last unit my husband was with was all about family. They also did marriage retreats every 6 months.0 -
Sounds like your surrounding yourself with the wrong people. I know it goes on. Not everyone is like that though. Cheating goes on in the civilian world just as much as in the military. Last unit my husband was with was all about family. They also did marriage retreats every 6 months.
This ^^
As for the OP, good riddance and hey, you are only 20... there is so much more to come for you ^^. Keep going gal... and hey come back to the UK ^^ I swear the weather alone will make you burn more calories0 -
Good riddance to bad rubbish...is what i say about your ex. Your man should love you through thick & thin. What if you were scarred in a fire...would he love you??? That's not the man for you. You are a young beautiful woman and do not need someone who is beating your spirit down. You have gotten back on track and are committed to being a healthier you. I'm proud of you!! You keep your head up!!0
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Don't ever let anyone control what you eat, how much you eat, if you exercise, etc. It's YOUR body no one else's. I understand wanting to please someone more then anything. I think you're a strong lady. Keep your head up and only do what you want to do.
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That's terrible! Being healthy is one thing, but being criticized for weight alone? No way! If my man EVER talked to me like that, he'd be out in a minute. Never put up with disrespect from any man, life's too short to waste on *kitten*!0
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So many things wrong with that excuse of a man. I'm sorry you had to go through that. You're a saint for sticking with his verbal abuse for so long - really! You're a fabulous woman inside and out!!
I'm 20 too and come from an army family. More importantly, I come from a family of weight troubles and I completely understand the importance of support and belief. There's nothing that can make up for lack of unconditional love!!!
Good for you! I hope that MFP is a helpful tool to you.0 -
No offence but your ex is an a**. If he hadn't been an a** to you about your weight, he would have found something else to be an a** to you about. Someone who really loves you will support you and help you with your journey, not cheat on you and then use your weight as an excuse. I know it hurts, but honestly, good riddance. Lose the weight that you need to lose for yourself and then find someone who deserves you and will love and support you always.0
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you've already lost what weighed you down the most,him! now you can do amazing things! he has alot of issues and you are way better of without him,good luck on you're weight loss journey,make sure the next one wants you,not a trophy.he probley doesn't deserve you,so you go girl!0
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Lose it for you and the multiple reasons it will lead to good and you'll have so much more from life. I'm sorry you've had to go through this but you are going to be stronger!0
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Congrats on starting your new life. Stress, especially the relationship kind, will pack on the pounds. Glad you got rid of the dead weight.
Cristin0 -
Thats crazy talk! He is a jerk! You deserve better!0
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He's a douche. You are better off without him. Love is unconditional- otherwise it isn't love.0
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You're biggest loss (but more of a gain!!!) to date is the 200 lbs (or whatever) of dead weight in that so called husband of yours. Move forward, don't look back! Lose the weight for yourself, never for another person, and especially NOT to "get even". Let that go.... as I see it, he's done you a favour by walking out that door!0
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aWW IM SO SORRY THAT U HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS, I KNOW THIS HAS TO BE HARD ON U SO I AM HERE FOR U FOR SUPPORT OR WHATEVER U NEED.:flowerforyou: 0
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yep.i hate your ex-husband too. he's a complete narcissistic *kitten* bag and worse, he even managed to convince you that it was your fault that he is a complete narcissistic *kitten* bag. well, he's wrong! its his own fault. you lose the weight, feel fabulous about yourself and then look for a decent guy who deserves you. 0
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Your husband didn't leave you because of your weight. Your husband left you because he's an *kitten* hole. Feel lucky it's ended now and not after years of heartache. I look at your profile, and you're only 20. He did you a big favor. You can look forward to a wonderful, thinner life moving forward! 0
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Well you should not want to be with someone so shallow anyway. I get they we have to be within our weight goals and try to be healthy,,,,,,it sounded like you were trying really hard. Oh well, just think how good it will feel when you meet your goals and r walking around looking hot and want nothing to do with the ex.......0
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What a sad story and how horrible for you-noone should have to feel that way. He is a jerk (as other people have told you) and he shouldn't have married you in the first place. The only real extra weight that you had was him! Now that you got rid of that, you can work on the other stuff.
The best revenge is going to be when you have lost weight and you are lookin hotter than ever and he will be kicking hisself in his loser *$$!!!!!
Good luck and add me as a friend if you want support! I would love to hear how you progress 0 -
I am sorry honey, I think that is just an excuse. If he loved you, he wouldn't have left you, he would be by your side motivating you! What a blow to your self esteem. you have to do this for YOURSELF no one else. YOU come first..to hell with him.
If there is anything I can do to help..left me know.0 -
Not much of a husband if he did that to you, I married my wife when she was heavier and she got heavier still after she got pregnant but so did I, whatever I was in it for the long haul and knew that we would both come around eventually. I loved her when she was heavier and I love her even more now that she has lost the weight, either way I love my wife for better or for worse. I did my best to support her along her weight loss and she did the same for me, a proper marriage should be spent supporting and complimenting each other not bringing each other down.0
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Just keep in mind that he was just looking for an excuse, and he picked one that would hurt you the most. Keep your head up and realize that he wasn't good for you.0
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I guess I will just repeat what many above me said...good for you that he is gone! So glad that you two didn't have a family together and you would have to explain to the the kids that daddy is a fool and left! Do this for you...you are VERY young my dear, and hopefully this is just a bump in the road and a learning experience for you! Don't let it close your heart to other men though. You will find the right man some day who is deserving of what you have to offer the relationship! I am blessed with a wonderful man who met me at my smallest in adult life and is now supporting me to lose weight that I have put on over the last 13 years. I wish you all the best! Just remember, do it for YOU! The benefit is that he will say "oh damn, what a fool I was" when he sees you in September...but it is for your health and well being more than anything else!0
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Honey, you are beautiful! How dare he treat you the way he did! You are deserve so much better! He is just a sick, sad, and unhappy person to say the least! I am really glad you are on here and sweetie- this "boy" is going to be regretting this decision for the rest of his life because you were the best thing he will ever get. He deserves to be alone for the rest of his life! Stay strong and stay on top! You can do this! Add me as a friend if you want! I am also 20 years old
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Forgive me if I am out of line here, but that is not love. I am so sorry your ex is such an *kitten*#o!e, but you are SO much better off without him!!! I've been with my Husband since 93. When we met, I was 115 lbs (I am 5'10). 18 years later, I was at 209. He has never said one negative thing about it. Not. One. Word. YOU deserve that from a partner too. Do this for yourself, for your health. The side effect of making him regret being such a douche is just a bonus. Add me if you need support.0
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He wasn't worth the effort. He wasn't ready for a commitment. My husband has been with me for 10 years. I was 150 pounds when we met. After I had our 1st child a year and a half later, I was 200 pounds. I continued to gain weight, with a high of 245 ish pounds. I haven't been under 200 pounds for the last 8 or so years until the last 6 months. He has always been encouraging, he has always loved me for who I am regardless of what I looked like. We have had a few moments were I had to teach him that it wasn't ok to negatively motivate me, but he was willing to learn and understand. I'm finally losing the weight. I tried to run him off, but he stuck to me like glue.
You don't deserve to be treated like that. He left because of him, not you. He had a conditional commitment to you. A condition that he can not control... Please expect better next time around. You don't deserve to be treated well because of how you look, you deserve to be treated well because you are a human being.0 -
You deserve someone better then him! That is AWFUL! My husband and I have been together for 13 yrs and during that time I gained 165 pounds!!!!! We have had our share of problems but he never made me feel like my weight was part of it. You deserve to find someone that will love you for you not the you who he thinks you SHOULD be. Become a healthier happier you and show him you are better off without him!0
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I am so sorry! I know how you feel. My husband doesn't insult me, but he did cheat on me when my twins were only six months old. I have tried to understand because I know it is tough with me being in school and having two babies at one time, but the trust is gone and I do not know how to get it back. He really hasn't been very supportive, but this time I am going to do it. I have to for my health, my career, and my kids. I am going to see how things go with us and hopefully our relationship gets better, but if not I will have to consider making yet another change. The following quote has been on my mind lately and I am guessing with good reason:
"if you can't accept me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" -Marilyn Monroe
It is something like that ...LOL
I wish you the best and you deserve to reach your goal and show him what he lost and cannot have back.0 -
Darling,
You do not need anyone who treats you like that... YOU are worth a MILLION DOLLARS just b/c you are YOU... NO OTHER REASON... You are beautifully and wonderfully made... Don't let him or anyone get you down... They are not worth your time or energy it would take to be upset... I want you to go to the mirror and say, "I am beautiful, I am beautiful, I am beautiful... Positive self talk will help you so much... Only use the anger in your work outs to work even harder... Not to prove anything to anyone except you... Keep your chin up... He will realize what he had and it will be too late... Then you find someone who appreciates and accepts you for who YOU ARE not who they want you to be...
I am sending HUGE ((((HUGS)))) to you... My heart hurts for you...
Take care,
Tammy0
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