Husband left me because of weight. NEW motivation.

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  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
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    What a douche. You're better without him, and then when you do lose the weight, he'll be sorry. He'll still be a douche though. Your weight or anything else doesn't give him right to treat you the way he did.
  • dalgal26
    dalgal26 Posts: 781 Member
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    Well, you lost the best 175ish? pounds when he walked out the door. Now, just take care of yourself. Don't look back! Good luck to you in your journey! You Can Do This! :)
  • orting514
    orting514 Posts: 153
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    Good riddence to him, you deserve alot better, sounds like he wants a trophy wife, youve lost a ton of weight, i envie you!
  • Isidora87
    Isidora87 Posts: 41
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    Men! ARGH! My ex husband took a video of me walking in front of him, then showed it to me and said 'And you wonder why I don't find you attractive?' referring to my bum. He's now with a stick 10 years younger than us.

    OMG, what a *kitten*! Ah, men.... :/ You can't live with them.
  • eg140
    eg140 Posts: 8
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    And you are only 20, you got a good example of what you do not want in your next boy friend/husband. Their are a lot of better fish in the sea.
  • alliecore
    alliecore Posts: 446 Member
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    Your weight wasn't the problem. He needed an excuse and your weight was what he used. Apparently, you didn't choose a good person and I'm sorry for you for that. I'm not sorry you've decided to take control of your life and lose your weight but do it for YOU! not anyone else. Get healthy, & live longer with a partner that truly loves you.

    ^^^^^This! He is an jerk and he doesn't deserve you! He was looking for excuses to leave and he was just trying to hurt you in the process. My ex did the same, except the opposite extreme...I didn't have high enough body fat to suit him and he said nasty things about my body too. Trust me chica, being single is MUCH better than being with someone who doesn't love and appreciate you for who you are on the inside! You'll reach your goals and he'll be left wishing he hadn't been such a shallow a*s**le!!!!!! (((hugs)))
  • natali_sh92
    natali_sh92 Posts: 37 Member
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    OMG WHAT A D**K!!! I cant believe this! Just reading it makes me angry! It doesn't matter how much you weigh, he should be supporting you and loving you no matter what! The fact that he called u fat, but especially the fact that he cheated on u means he is totally not worth it! you are better off without him! and hopefully you can show him, when you are thin and he's fat at his sisters wedding! You can do this! Add me, I can't wait for you to tell me all about his face when he sees u in september!
  • tritta01
    tritta01 Posts: 311
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    Seems like he was just using any excuse to cover up for his cheating.. your young, beautiful and you only deserve the best... he didnt want to give that to you... do it for yourself and just prove you dont need his insults anymore. You can find someone who will support you for you 110%. Best of luck to you on this journey its a very supportive community here on MFP!
  • PocketNaomi
    PocketNaomi Posts: 62
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    There is NO justification for cheating on you, no matter what. If he's a man who cheated, then he's an *kitten* who left you because of his own issues, and not because of anything to do with your weight. He's just trying to blame your weight so he can feel better about doing something he knows he shouldn't have done.

    Please don't let him dictate how you feel about yourself. You didn't deserve this, and it's not justified in any way just because you were overweight. Lose the weight and get in shape because it's good for YOU, and consider seeing a counselor to help you with self-confidence and self-esteem issues, which anyone who's been treated the way you have would be having some problems with. You need to learn to believe in your heart that you deserve better treatment no matter what your weight is, BECAUSE YOU DO.

    Naomi
  • fudgebudget
    fudgebudget Posts: 198 Member
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    He didn't leave you because of your weight. He left you because he's an a**. You haven't lost 20 pounds, you've lost 20 pounds plus however much he weighs. Congrats - you've lost about 200 pounds! That has to feel like a relief :)
  • missmelly123
    missmelly123 Posts: 4 Member
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    You go girl! i know what it's like to be married to a military man. it's not easy since they are so in shape. we just had a baby and throughout my pregnancy my husband asked me if the weight i was gaining would go away or not...i told him no cuz i didn't wanna feel insecure if i didn't lose it right away...and sure enough i lost half of it but i'm still over what i wanna be by a significant amount. i just started on here and it's helping i lost 4 lbs so far. i asked him if he was happy for me and he said "well i'll be happy when your under 200 lbs. *rolls eyes* at this point i'm doing it for myself. i don't wanna be insecure anymore.
  • maureenB7
    maureenB7 Posts: 55 Member
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    You have lost the most weight, the big jerk that treated you badly! The weight that was dragging you down. I know exactly how it feels when a man dumps you because of your weight. Lose the weight for you and no one else! Lose it to get healthy and be happy with yourself! You are young and beautiful, another man will see your beauty inside and out no matter how much you weigh. :smile:
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    I dont mean to talk bad about your husband, but THATS NOT LOVE! Love is not cheating on your wife, love is not degrading your wife, and love is not abandoning your wife in a time of need. My husband met me at a slim weight, now I am about 60 pounds heavier. He tells me daily how beautiful I am, he tells me how awesome i look (even tho i know I dont)... Thats love! Fat or thin, your husband should love you! Loose the weight, but do it for you! Not to try to get him back, or make him want you back... Loose it to be happy, to feel good, and then find someone who LOVES YOU! LOVES YOUR FACE, YOUR BRAIN, YOUR HEART, AND YOUR BODY, NO MATTER WHAT! Good luck to you!!! You deserve way better!!!
  • Myhighway2
    Myhighway2 Posts: 53
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    when you reach your goal and I feel your strong and you will! Please, please do not gine him the time of day, he will want you back!
  • Carolina_Skys
    Carolina_Skys Posts: 21 Member
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    Consider it weight already lost!! You will get through this.Positive thinking!!!Good luck on your journey.
  • SaraTN
    SaraTN Posts: 536 Member
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    Good riddance! He was using your insecurity and weight issue as his excuse for bad behavior. I am sorry to hear you have to go through it and experience the pain but in my humble opinion you are far better off without someone who is verbally and emotionally abusive. He probably hates himself so he took it out on you.

    You are doing the right thing for the right person... YOU. There have been times in my life when I have been disappointed and hurt by people but just when you least expect it, around the next corner, is something amazing you could have never imagined. Persevere. There will be ups and downs along the way -- as they say, it is a journey.
  • TammyLynne71
    TammyLynne71 Posts: 184 Member
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    it sounds like you lost a great deal of unhealthy weight when he left.
  • adreal
    adreal Posts: 229 Member
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    Sorry you went through that sweetie!! There are a plenty of other fish in the sea that will love you for who you are. Not what you weigh. I was married to jerk who was the same way. Very emotionally abusive and he ended up cheating on me too. Left him and found a really great guy who loves me for me. NOT what i weigh. He is behind me every step of the way! If you need encouragement throughout this process this is the best place to get it! We are here behind you! If you need to talk about anything add me as a friend! I would love to help encourage you!:happy:
  • Mocha02
    Mocha02 Posts: 96
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    Good riddens to the @sswhole. Lose the weight. Then go to the wedding in someone else's arms!!! BOOM!
  • lauraallover
    lauraallover Posts: 28 Member
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    Wow guys. I honestly left for an hour and came back to SO much love and motivation. I love this place. I'm definitely losing the weight for me, and for my own health. The plus is just seeing his face when I'm do much skinnier! His family and I are extremely close (particularly his sister) so being with his family is not weird. Unfortunately my ex is an abusive man, but I know I don't deserve that. I was a good wife, I had a job, I cooked and cleaner, I listened, I understood... But after all this, the bar has been raised for
    Me. I feel like I deserve a lot better. I'm eventually hoping to move back to the UK and maybe between now and then I'll find someone who WILL love me for the chubby OR skinny girl I am! I'm trying to keep my head out. Like others have said... He did me a HUGE favor by walking away.

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