Husband left me because of weight. NEW motivation.

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Replies

  • applekoko19
    applekoko19 Posts: 85 Member
    What a s***tbag!!! I know it sounds trite but you are so so much better off without someone like him. You'll probably be so much happier in the long run without him and that by itself will help you lose weight! 2012 will be a better year for you than 2011 :)
  • fionat29
    fionat29 Posts: 717 Member
    I can't believe he could do that!! My husband has loved me through fat and thin and fat again and has always showed he loved me. I'm now thin again and he is pleased for me but I never had a doubt in my mind that he would be here for me, what ever..I'm so sorry, my dear, that your husband couldn't see through the excess weight and love you for who you are. We're all here for you if you need us! Fiona xx
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    I faced the same challenge and managed to hold on the marriage.
    But, if she had left?

    GOOD RIDDANCE!

    You are now faced with reality, and now is the perfect time to create a new you.
    Use this time to totally transform your body, mind and spirit.

    Don't let this rejection define you - let it metamorphose your whole being.
    And at the end of the day, you have the option of moving on alone - a strong, self-empower woman or with another man if that's what you desire.

    You can chart your course TODAY.

    Instead of sadness, now is the time for celebration.
    You have shrugged off the shackles of the old you to welcome the possibilities that lie ahead.

    You are not alone!
    KEEP PUNCHING!
  • willowfyre
    willowfyre Posts: 13
    That's complete BS. I have a shovel, an empty trunk, and my ability as a Sicilian to hide bodies in the Nevada desert. ;) Just kidding.

    I don't care how many times you've tried and it didn't happen. He should never have stopped supporting you. And to be honest, he cheated because he would have cheated anyway, not because of your weight. That's just a crap excuse from a crap excuse of a man.

    Now is your time to get healthy for YOU. You can do this and you will find so much support here. *hugs*
  • ksimmons19
    ksimmons19 Posts: 223 Member
    wow that's horrible. You are lucky he's gone. Now you won't have such negativity surrounding you during your journey to healthy!! yay! and you have a great day to look forward to when you see him and you look amazing. AND you can show up with a hot guy to your sister's wedding and really make it sting ;) you're better off, and you ARE very young. Enjoy this time and be happy that you got an out to an obviously terrible marriage and you are now free to choose whoever you want!
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    You may not think this now but he did you the best favor EVER by leaving you. You deserve someone that loves you no matter what, plus, being in your early 20s and single ROCKS!

    Lose the weight, get healthy, play the field and have loads of fun! You deserve it, you also deserve someone that is worth of you, not some one that is a controlling mentally abusive ahole, Trust me, I am 43 years old and did not get married until I was in my 30s. I have been there done that in about every different kind of relationship situation there is. Had he not left you, you would have woke up in your 30s one day and ask why in the world you wasted so much time with such a creep.

    Good luck!
  • sailorsiren13
    sailorsiren13 Posts: 460
    My darling young woman i have been married to a military man for 17 years. He is not easy and when we were young he said some harsh things that he now regrets more than anything else in our life together. He loves me for me but it took a long time to get here. Your Husband gave you a gift by getting out now don't lose weight for him lose weight for you to be a healthy better you. Someday you will find a man who cherishes and adores you in the meantime just enjoy life for you have a long bumpy fun roller coaster ride ahead of you!!!! Believe me i know!!
  • sarscott
    sarscott Posts: 189 Member
    That's low. Glad you are rid of him and gained us :)

    If you like another friend, feel free to add me!
  • smplycomplicated
    smplycomplicated Posts: 484 Member
    Noone should ever have to deal with being with someone unsupportive/verbally abusive. This life is hard enough without having to deal with the person that you love making you feel worthless. My Ex Husband did that too. that's why he's my Ex :) I have been married to a wonderful man for 11 years, who isn't perfect by any means, but he loves and supports me through everything.

    Never settle for less than you deserve. <3
  • jalilahbd
    jalilahbd Posts: 9
    To put it politely, your ex is an idiot and never deserved someone like you. I know what it is like to gain weight and have an un-supportive spouse when you are working to loose it. Forget loosing the weight to prove he's an *kitten*. You already know he is. Do it for yourself. When I started loosing my weight, I found that I wanted to do more, live more, and experience more. I took charge of my life. I lost a person and found myself. I am so much happier too. This is a new chapter in your life, Make it what ever you want it to be. We are all here to support you in more than just your weight loss.
  • missbis
    missbis Posts: 116 Member
    Damn, that's pretty cold. I understand partners becoming unattracted, but to leave you after you were showing progress? Sounds like there were deeper issues than just your weight. Anyway, congrats on the progress you've made so far! Not to sound cliche, but this is about YOU! If he couldn't be patient with your weight loss journey when you were obviously trying, he's not worth it (in my opinion). Good for you that you're back in the saddle and trying to get on with your life. You should feel proud! Keep up the good work. =)
  • mrsrobinson13
    mrsrobinson13 Posts: 2
    My ex-husband used the same excuse when he cheated on me and left me. He did it right after I had lost a lot of weight. Your weight is not really the issue, he's just all screwed up. Just get out there and do the best you can to become healthly for you! I wish you the best of luck!
  • Rockstar_sister
    Rockstar_sister Posts: 65 Member
    He didn't deserve you!! You go this!! You can do it on your own with the strength and encouragement from them. He didn't deserve you. You deserve MORE!!
  • bprague
    bprague Posts: 564 Member
    I cannot even believe that came out of his mouth. Everything he said and did was clearly inexcusable. I'd be happy to support you into making him regret it by looking fabulous in every way! (I'm petty and believe in looking as good a physically possible as a big ol' F you :D )

    Good luck on your journey. I don't log very often but I like to think I know what I'm doing exercise-wise, if you want some help with that :)
  • briocktj
    briocktj Posts: 128
    "If he didn't love you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best." I LOVE THIS STATEMENT!!! So true!!!
  • Smokey19
    Smokey19 Posts: 796 Member
    It is a good thing he is gone. You don't deserve to be treated that way. You have a terrific outlook and I know that you can and will lose the weight. Cutting back is the way to go. The food diary will help track where the calories, etc. are coming from.
  • grace1611
    grace1611 Posts: 55
    Hi I am with Conchita7 But do this for you.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
    He didn't cheat because you gained weight, he cheated because he's a selfish putz and the "you gained weight" excuse was as good as any other.
  • moleighsmom
    moleighsmom Posts: 59 Member
    You just got rid of 180ish pounds of emotional baggage that was weighing you down. You are off to a great start. Now go find that woman that you know you can be!
  • AbimpyMoschino
    AbimpyMoschino Posts: 30 Member
    What a complete jerk and idiot, i will add you now lovely..
  • scottRN
    scottRN Posts: 14 Member
    Well all I can say is it seems you lost about oh 150-200lbs of *kitten* already. Keep up the good work.
  • annanoel21
    annanoel21 Posts: 87 Member
    Wow. You sound a lot like me and my ex. I was 190 when we got together then started to gain weight and got up to 235. He was a complete *kitten* to me. Verbally and physically abusive to me, as well as cheating on me. Blamed me because I got fat. I tried to lose weight but had little success. Finally after 3 1/2 years of that I finally got the guts to leave him.

    I have a new guy that I have been with a little over a year. I am currently at 226 and trying to lose for our wedding in Oct. He supports me and makes me want to continue to exercise. He even works out with me. I just got the 30 Day Shred and am on L1D3. As well as I love the Wii Zumba 2. Great workouts that burn lots of cals in little time.

    Just remember, its not about the guy. You have to do it for you. Find a guy that will love you how you are but one that will help you thru your change!
  • tammyraymo
    tammyraymo Posts: 7 Member
    Your weight wasn't the problem. He needed an excuse and your weight was what he used. Apparently, you didn't choose a good person and I'm sorry for you for that. I'm not sorry you've decided to take control of your life and lose your weight but do it for YOU! not anyone else. Get healthy, & live longer with a partner that truly loves you.
  • Nikkiray32
    Nikkiray32 Posts: 123
    Awe... I am sorry you had to go through that experience. You didn't deserve that. I am so glad you are taking control and doing something for you. All you can do is move foward from here. You are doing great!
  • bklyngirl71
    bklyngirl71 Posts: 381 Member
    sorry this happened to you. the support here is great. just take it one day at a time. u could do it
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
    Your weight was just his excuse for bad behavior. You go out and change for yourself, you already got rid of the worst part of the extra baggage! 2012 is yours!
  • fordster99
    fordster99 Posts: 181 Member
    It sounds like to me that his behavior towards your weight is just a way to justify his cheating on you and leaving you. Since he put the blame on you, it allows him not to have to feel any guilt. You deserve better. I would say this is a fresh start to your life. Take this opportunity to work on you. Get healthy, go to school if you want and become the best person you can be. Find people around you who can relate to the struggles you have had and who can be encouraging rather than discouraging. Good luck in your journey.
  • MrsKunz
    MrsKunz Posts: 151 Member
    OK this kinda happened to me:
    The love of my life years ago was very honest. I have always said please don't cheat be a man and be honest. If you feel like you could cheat or want to just leave. I'll be OK. And after 2.5 years he sat me down and said i'm so sorry i have to leave so of course devastated i had to know why. he wouldn't tell me for about a year exactly why but it came out he was honest that because i had gained so much weight (30lbs) while with him that he wasn't attracted to me but he didn't ever cheat he left first. As upset as i was i was OK i didn't stay upset long. I actually respected him more than i did when we were together.
    Honesty is always better but at least you are doing something about it. Good job!
  • MacThin
    MacThin Posts: 6
    I feel horrible for you an honestly, I think this is an excuse for him to allow his bad behaviour. You should keep going on your path, lose your weight as planned, not for him or for revenge but just for you, to show yourself that you can achieve your goals alone !
    Good luck !
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
    He wasn't the right man for you. If he truly had loved you your weight wouldn't have been that big of an issue. He used that as an excuse. Ick. Find yourself a decent guy who isn't going to insult your weight. <3
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