Posting Before & After Pics... Husband is NOT supportive

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  • Quiing
    Quiing Posts: 261 Member
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    Your husband is not your owner. You have every right to be proud of your before and afters enough to want to share them. If its that big of a deal, crop or blur your face out of the picture. Post it girl, we all will celebrate with you!
  • Huffdogg
    Huffdogg Posts: 1,934 Member
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    He isn't controlling or anything,

    Of course he is.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    My husband does NOT want me posting any body pics :( NONE whatsoever.

    I took "before" bikini pics back in the summer. We were dating then, not even married. Even then he complained about the pics and begged me not to post them, so I took them down after a few days. I've since lost a few lbs and inches and was thinking about taking updates, but he absolutely refuses to take them for me... !!??!!

    I told him "everyone's doing it"... LOL. He hates the idea of me "sharing" myself on the internet. I told him it's for a good reason but he won't budge. The only thing I could do is go behind his back :(

    I am a bit upset about this. What would YOU do? Any opinions, advice, suggestions?
    What an insecure little troll....
    Oh well, you married him, so maybe you should just take all your pics wearing a burka.
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
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    My two cents is this is obviously important to you, and not silly or ridiculous. You worked for it and want to show your loss proudly. It seems a little over-paranoid of him to not want you "sharing" yourself, it's YOUR body.
  • khk2010
    khk2010 Posts: 451 Member
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    Gotta say after all these years my husband wouldn't like it either. I take it as a compliment that he still cares!
  • pixiexxgirl
    pixiexxgirl Posts: 141
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    No offense to your husband or you, but these are the type of people who really make me made. He seems controlling or that is what it is coming off as.
    This is YOUR body, not his. If your proud of your of losing a few pounds take the pictures! He'll be mad for a few days but he'll get over it. If this HELPS you then he should understand this.

    I understand him being iffy about others seeing your body but there are TONS of ladies on here who post pics, even if their just in sport bars and shorts. If you have to keep your clothes on and take them!
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    my hubby is the same way, I posted them anyway and now they can be found on google even after I deleted them.
    Apparently this is why he didn't want me to post them, and I wish I would have cut off my face or head but I didn't. He is still working on getting them off google, not because they are revealing (not in a bikini) just because now we don't have control over who gets to see or handle them.

    I would speak with him about doing the off with the head stuff and see how he feels, and honestly when it comes to control we both discuss things and make decisions together, so you can say we both control each other to have a better life together.
    Remember posting your pic on here isn't really worth getting upset about, him not seeing or entertaining your point of view or needs is.
    If you are going to fight then fight for the rite reasons, your opinion and needs matter and there is a need you have that should be met by posting your pics. That is what you should be discussing :wink:
  • granvee
    granvee Posts: 1
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    Think of it like this: on one hand: you want to do it, it's part of the "weight-loss journey"...but on the other hand: your husband doesn't want you to do it.
    2 questions: why is it important to you that you do it? You (and close friends/family) can have those pics and see your own progress... who, besides strangers, can only see your progress on internet??
    2. Why is it important to him that you NOT do it?
    COMMUNICATE, & give and take...that and our faith in GOD has made our 32 years work...
    praying for you!!
    granvee
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    Ok... for the record. I can do what I want. I can post pics and he can do nothing to stop me... that's NOT what I'm asking about here. I'm just trying to figure out a way to get him to see the value and benefit of it. And not seeing it so one-sided, that's all.

    He doesn't post his pics on the internet, ever... period. Under no circumstance. So, he naturally isn't crazy about me doing the same. He's just very private, he is NOT controlling. I do what I want in this house, trust me! LOL.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    my hubby is the same way, I posted them anyway and now they can be found on google even after I deleted them.
    Apparently this is why he didn't want me to post them, and I wish I would have cut off my face or head but I didn't. He is still working on getting them off google, not because they are revealing (not in a bikini) just because now we don't have control over who gets to see or handle them.

    I would speak with him about doing the off with the head stuff and see how he feels, and honestly when it comes to control we both discuss things and make decisions together, so you can say we both control each other to have a better life together.
    Remember posting your pic on here isn't really worth getting upset about, him not seeing or entertaining your point of view or needs is.
    If you are going to fight then fight for the rite reasons, your opinion and needs matter and there is a need you have that should be met by posting your pics. That is what you should be discussing :wink:

    Yes, exactly. Thanks.
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
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    I am not married, but from my experience of seeing my parents marriage, and others around me, listen to him. Marriage is a commitment to be bound together, that bond should not be broken for something like this, or anything. you should have respected his wishes. posting pictures is great b/c everyone loves to share their success, but truth be told, I feel the pictures were less about your success and more vain.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    Think of it like this: on one hand: you want to do it, it's part of the "weight-loss journey"...but on the other hand: your husband doesn't want you to do it.
    2 questions: why is it important to you that you do it? You (and close friends/family) can have those pics and see your own progress... who, besides strangers, can only see your progress on internet??
    2. Why is it important to him that you NOT do it?
    COMMUNICATE, & give and take...that and our faith in GOD has made our 32 years work...
    praying for you!!
    granvee


    Awww, thanks :-)
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
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    My husband does NOT want me posting any body pics :( NONE whatsoever.

    I took "before" bikini pics back in the summer. We were dating then, not even married. Even then he complained about the pics and begged me not to post them, so I took them down after a few days. I've since lost a few lbs and inches and was thinking about taking updates, but he absolutely refuses to take them for me... !!??!!

    I told him "everyone's doing it"... LOL. He hates the idea of me "sharing" myself on the internet. I told him it's for a good reason but he won't budge. The only thing I could do is go behind his back :(

    I am a bit upset about this. What would YOU do? Any opinions, advice, suggestions?

    Take photos that are not swimwear, just normal clothes. Normal clothes' photos can still show weightloss, no probs.

    It can't be to do with your face as that is your face in your profile piccie isn't it?

    I agree. I would respect my husband's wishes and post with clothing instead. Even when I was smaller, I didn't wear a bikini because I felt that some of those things should be left only for my husband. I think it makes him feel special that you are for his eyes only. I don't think you should waste your time trying to "make him see it your way" or anything else. It's not like it's a huge compromise. There could be a lot worse things he asks you to do/ not to do. You should pick your battles.
  • ady8e80
    ady8e80 Posts: 24 Member
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    Just read your post to my husband. His exact words: "What a douche."
  • Ilovesewing
    Ilovesewing Posts: 10 Member
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    I don't blame him. I never post pictures of myself or family members on the internet period. Once you do - they are out there for anyone else to do what they want with. But I'm older - 49 - and realize that younger people don't care. Only you can decide what his reason is, and whether or not he's controlling. Don't let anyone here make your decision for you - it's your marriage. Work with your husband and decide what's best for the both of you.

    And you don't need to post pictures of yourself to get support...surely people in your real life notice the changes and comment! If you feel strongly that you want to post them for whatever reason you should probably ask yourself why.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    posting pictures is great b/c everyone loves to share their success, but truth be told, I feel the pictures were less about your success and more vain.

    Wow! And you know me so well?? LOL. So vain people can't revel in their successes too? JK...
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    I don't blame him. I never post pictures of myself or family members on the internet period. Once you do - they are out there for anyone else to do what they want with. But I'm older - 49 - and realize that younger people don't care. Only you can decide what his reason is, and whether or not he's controlling. Don't let anyone here make your decision for you - it's your marriage. Work with your husband and decide what's best for the both of you.

    And you don't need to post pictures of yourself to get support...surely people in your real life notice the changes and comment! If you feel strongly that you want to post them for whatever reason you should probably ask yourself why.

    I wanted to share them with my friends on MFP. I see theirs, I wanted them to see mine... that's all.
  • ysamatar
    ysamatar Posts: 484 Member
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    I say, just don't do it. Keep yourself a photo album of your progress - you don't really need to show the world your pictures just to motivate yourself. If you want the public recognition, do like the previous poster said and find a more creative way to share it.

    Really. If it's that important to him, respect him. No, he definitely doesn't "own" you, but marriage is about mutual respect, love, partnership... if he's asked you not to do something, especially something as unimportant as this, and you go do it behind his back knowing it will hurt him when he finds out, how will that help you in your weight loss journey OR your marriage?

    May I suggest instead that you find a way you can work together to support your journey and give you motivation? Maybe you could do your progress photos together for a private album, for example... wink, wink...

    :o)

    I agree with ^^
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
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    Your husband is not your owner. You have every right to be proud of your before and afters enough to want to share them. If its that big of a deal, crop or blur your face out of the picture. Post it girl, we all will celebrate with you!

    With advice like this you will be celebrating her divorce with her as well eventually. Fun stuff huh?
  • deenaputzierhansen
    deenaputzierhansen Posts: 8
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    you can post pics with out it being in a bikini. you can do pics in cute cloths with out showing skin. you should be way proud of your acomplishment and want to show the world how good you look. but i think you should also respect your husbands opinion. my husband is the same way, you are his and he dosent want to share. have your friend take some pics of you that are very tasteful and then let him choose witch ones get posted, but no matter what you decide never, never, never stop being proud of your self. its hard looseing weight and men that have never had a weight problem have no clue how hard it is and how big of an acomplishment it is to meet your goals. remember when you go out you will turn heads and that is somthing he cant stop. respect his wishes but dont let him bring you down.

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