Posting Before & After Pics... Husband is NOT supportive
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Posting pictures on a MFP forum isn't worth relationship drama to me, but that's just my two cents. :drinker:0
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I say, just don't do it. Keep yourself a photo album of your progress - you don't really need to show the world your pictures just to motivate yourself. If you want the public recognition, do like the previous poster said and find a more creative way to share it.
Really. If it's that important to him, respect him. No, he definitely doesn't "own" you, but marriage is about mutual respect, love, partnership... if he's asked you not to do something, especially something as unimportant as this, and you go do it behind his back knowing it will hurt him when he finds out, how will that help you in your weight loss journey?
May I suggest instead that you find a way you can work together to support your journey and give you motivation? Maybe you could do your progress photos together for a private album, for example... wink, wink...
)
I like your response. I wouldn't want to hurt him. It's not worth it.
It's just odd for me... I am very independent and have always done whatever I please... resenting others telling me what to do. But being married is just something I'm having to get used to. There's ALWAYS someone else there to consider... LOL. I was an only child and waited until I was 35 to get married.... LOL!!! See where I'm coming from? And he's got some weird modesty hangup :P
I think this was a great response, my thoughts are along the same lines.
It might seem just fine to you but it it bothers him then I think you need ro respect that. Or, if you REALLY want to, then you need to talk more about why it bothers him and see if there is some kind of compromise (maybe post them in your profile so they are friends only for example).
Relationships/marriage are all about compromise, communication and respect and there are times when you won't agree but you need to find a way forward.
Good on you for thinking this through and not just being childish and saying "you can't tell me what to do!".0 -
I say, just don't do it. Keep yourself a photo album of your progress - you don't really need to show the world your pictures just to motivate yourself. If you want the public recognition, do like the previous poster said and find a more creative way to share it.
Really. If it's that important to him, respect him. No, he definitely doesn't "own" you, but marriage is about mutual respect, love, partnership... if he's asked you not to do something, especially something as unimportant as this, and you go do it behind his back knowing it will hurt him when he finds out, how will that help you in your weight loss journey?
May I suggest instead that you find a way you can work together to support your journey and give you motivation? Maybe you could do your progress photos together for a private album, for example... wink, wink...)
I like your response. I wouldn't want to hurt him. It's not worth it.
It's just odd for me... I am very independent and have always done whatever I please... resenting others telling me what to do. But being married is just something I'm having to get used to. There's ALWAYS someone else there to consider... LOL. I was an only child and waited until I was 35 to get married.... LOL!!! See where I'm coming from? And he's got some weird modesty hangup :P
I think this was a great response, my thoughts are along the same lines.
It might seem just fine to you but it it bothers him then I think you need ro respect that. Or, if you REALLY want to, then you need to talk more about why it bothers him and see if there is some kind of compromise (maybe post them in your profile so they are friends only for example).
Relationships/marriage are all about compromise, communication and respect and there are times when you won't agree but you need to find a way forward.
Good on you for thinking this through and not just being childish and saying "you can't tell me what to do!".
Yes, that's exactly what I was leaning towards... if he and I came to a compromise about this I'd make the settings so that only my friends on here could see and not the entire forum, or public.
And this is definitely more than just about me posting my pics and getting my way... sure it is. It's such a mindbender that I'm now married and have to actually stop to consider things like this... really is throwing me for a loop! Guess that might be a good thing, it's not always about getting my way anymore!0 -
I say, just don't do it. Keep yourself a photo album of your progress - you don't really need to show the world your pictures just to motivate yourself. If you want the public recognition, do like the previous poster said and find a more creative way to share it.
Really. If it's that important to him, respect him. No, he definitely doesn't "own" you, but marriage is about mutual respect, love, partnership... if he's asked you not to do something, especially something as unimportant as this, and you go do it behind his back knowing it will hurt him when he finds out, how will that help you in your weight loss journey?
May I suggest instead that you find a way you can work together to support your journey and give you motivation? Maybe you could do your progress photos together for a private album, for example... wink, wink...)
I like your response. I wouldn't want to hurt him. It's not worth it.
It's just odd for me... I am very independent and have always done whatever I please... resenting others telling me what to do. But being married is just something I'm having to get used to. There's ALWAYS someone else there to consider... LOL. I was an only child and waited until I was 35 to get married.... LOL!!! See where I'm coming from? And he's got some weird modesty hangup :P
I think this was a great response, my thoughts are along the same lines.
It might seem just fine to you but it it bothers him then I think you need ro respect that. Or, if you REALLY want to, then you need to talk more about why it bothers him and see if there is some kind of compromise (maybe post them in your profile so they are friends only for example).
Relationships/marriage are all about compromise, communication and respect and there are times when you won't agree but you need to find a way forward.
Good on you for thinking this through and not just being childish and saying "you can't tell me what to do!".
Yes, that's exactly what I was leaning towards... if he and I came to a compromise about this I'd make the settings so that only my friends on here could see and not the entire forum, or public.
And this is definitely more than just about me posting my pics and getting my way... sure it is. It's such a mindbender that I'm now married and have to actually stop to consider things like this... really is throwing me for a loop! Guess that might be a good thing, it's not always about getting my way anymore!
I TOTALLY understand that! I used to just make plans with friends and stuff and now I find myself saying things like "I'd like to go, let me talk to my husband first and i'll get back to ya." (He works odd hours and I don't like to go out when he is home because I want to spend time with him.) It's SO weird. I actually had one friend ask my husband "Are you sure she's the same girl she was before you got married?" :laugh:0 -
Well my knee-jerk reaction is that I couldn't be with someone that possessive or controlling, but here's my nice answer...
Compromise, take some pics in form fitting clothes like yoga pants and a tank top that don't show your face. Or take pics that are for your eyes only.0 -
I TOTALLY understand that! I used to just make plans with friends and stuff and now I find myself saying things like "I'd like to go, let me talk to my husband first and i'll get back to ya." (He works odd hours and I don't like to go out when he is home because I want to spend time with him.) It's SO weird. I actually had one friend ask my husband "Are you sure she's the same girl she was before you got married?" :laugh:
It is weird
Believe me, there's a really big part of me that wants to scream: WHAT??? I'll do what I want. Period. Who are you to tell me I can't?? And then there's another part of me that laughs and snickers as I hear myself say: My HUSBAND doesn't want me to... LOL. I can't believe I'm THAT girl. But... it's not so bad. He's a great person and he's really bringing out the best in me. I think I got away with WAY too much nonsense as a single person... 0 -
I TOTALLY understand that! I used to just make plans with friends and stuff and now I find myself saying things like "I'd like to go, let me talk to my husband first and i'll get back to ya." (He works odd hours and I don't like to go out when he is home because I want to spend time with him.) It's SO weird. I actually had one friend ask my husband "Are you sure she's the same girl she was before you got married?" :laugh:
It is weird Believe me, there's a really big part of me that wants to scream: WHAT??? I'll do what I want. Period. Who are you to tell me I can't?? And then there's another part of me that laughs and snickers as I hear myself say: My HUSBAND doesn't want me to... LOL. I can't believe I'm THAT girl. But... it's not so bad. He's a great person and he's really bringing out the best in me. I think I got away with WAY too much nonsense as a single person...
I was the same way! lol!! My husband really grounds me. We were together for 3 years before we got married and he put up with SO much stuff. I'm so lucky to have him. I've made a great effort to treat him with much more respect since we got married. He really deserves it. We're lucky to have great guys!0 -
I TOTALLY understand that! I used to just make plans with friends and stuff and now I find myself saying things like "I'd like to go, let me talk to my husband first and i'll get back to ya." (He works odd hours and I don't like to go out when he is home because I want to spend time with him.) It's SO weird. I actually had one friend ask my husband "Are you sure she's the same girl she was before you got married?" :laugh:
It is weird Believe me, there's a really big part of me that wants to scream: WHAT??? I'll do what I want. Period. Who are you to tell me I can't?? And then there's another part of me that laughs and snickers as I hear myself say: My HUSBAND doesn't want me to... LOL. I can't believe I'm THAT girl. But... it's not so bad. He's a great person and he's really bringing out the best in me. I think I got away with WAY too much nonsense as a single person...
I was the same way! lol!! My husband really grounds me. We were together for 3 years before we got married and he put up with SO much stuff. I'm so lucky to have him. I've made a great effort to treat him with much more respect since we got married. He really deserves it. We're lucky to have great guys!
Agreed! :-)0 -
I say, just don't do it. Keep yourself a photo album of your progress - you don't really need to show the world your pictures just to motivate yourself. If you want the public recognition, do like the previous poster said and find a more creative way to share it.
Really. If it's that important to him, respect him. No, he definitely doesn't "own" you, but marriage is about mutual respect, love, partnership... if he's asked you not to do something, especially something as unimportant as this, and you go do it behind his back knowing it will hurt him when he finds out, how will that help you in your weight loss journey OR your marriage?
May I suggest instead that you find a way you can work together to support your journey and give you motivation? Maybe you could do your progress photos together for a private album, for example... wink, wink...)
this.. i took some before pics with my fiance with the intention of us comparing them down the line.. but until i explained that they were for the two of us alone he was NOT comfortable (hes a tech guru and the word facebook puts him into a panic lol).. while its tempting to want to show off your progress to others the only opinions about your body that matter are yours and his.. thats who should see the pics and celebrate your progress with you.. so (for me at least) ill post measurements or NSVs on here.. if he was 100% cool with it id post yoga pants/top type pics (not that ive brought it up or feel inclined to).. but thats about it because its still the internet.. and nothing you post on it goes away.. and i mean EVER!0 -
If he is that uncomfortable than I would respect that and not do it.
Keep them for yourself to compare then. That is who you are doing it for :flowerforyou:0 -
As far as I'm concerned, it's your body, your results, and his disapproval is his problem.
It's not like you won't be wearing a bikini at the beach, same difference, really.
There's just as many people who will see you're results via "real" sight, as internet.
I hope he becomes more supportive.0 -
He is your husband not your owner! Do what YOU need to do, if posting pics will help your journey then post it. (Cut your head out if you want)
^^This!
Amen sister!
Girl, if it's going to help you on your journey, do it. It's your journey, not his.0 -
Oooiiii!,, all these different 'solutions'
Have an adult conversation with your husband. Point out what your intentions and reasons and ACTUALLY HEAR his.
He isn't controlling. He isn't selfish.
Maybe he just doesnt understand why you are so free willing to do such a thing. It's Internet.0 -
Well you have to give him some credit for caring? I've been married 12 years- not a record but I have gathered some wisdom......It's not worth the argument take some pics that are less revealing and ask his opinion on which to post. Or you could suggest a trade...promise to never ask his opinion on your shoes for the next year in exchange for temporarily posting the pictures 0
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you should repect each others wishes. So why don't you make your own personal album to see your accomplishments?0
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Agree!!0
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My fiance is also not ok with me posting those types of pics on the internet or anywhere for that matter, but then again neither am I. If it is something that he is not comfortable with I try not to do it and it is the same for him especially if it is something like posting online. I want his approval and support above anyone else's. To each their own, but if I defied him to post pictures to get "wtg" comments from people that I don't even know it would show that I personally cared more about what strangers thought than the man that I am spending the rest of my life with. I am not saying that this is what you are doing OP, just my two cents.0
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I would respect his wishes when it comes to this.0
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If it were me and my husband was that serious about it, I'd skip posting them and be happy with keeping an album for myself. Whatever his motives are, he seems pretty set on it. If it were me, I'd just let that part go. Compromise. It's not worth a fight with the person you love.0
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Well you have to give him some credit for caring? I've been married 12 years- not a record but I have gathered some wisdom......It's not worth the argument take some pics that are less revealing and ask his opinion on which to post. Or you could suggest a trade...promise to never ask his opinion on your shoes for the next year in exchange for temporarily posting the pictures
Yes, he does care and I'm happy about that. I might take some yoga pants/sports bra tops and get his opinion. Although I'm pretty sure he'd be happy if I announced I'd never post another pic online... ever.
Oh, and he actually likes giving his opinion on my shoes :-) We go shoe shopping together, believe it or not. He DOES however think I have too many shoes and would love it if I didn't go nuts over shoes.0
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