Posting Before & After Pics... Husband is NOT supportive
Replies
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This is why I only have woman friends on here, that way I don't feel guilty about posting picks, also that way I don't have strange guys oggaling my pics
if nothing else you can do what I do, talk with your hubby, about it A LOT! and see if at different times of the day you get a different reaction to it, some times my husband will get kinda crazy "I don't want you to have a facebook" I leave the issue alone and then ask him later "hunny do you really care if I have a facebook" then he goes "no I don't care" I will laugh and ask why He said what he did before, then He will laugh and say "cause I'm an *kitten*", lol then we both laugh, my point is talk with him as to why you want to do this, then give it time and talk with him again about it, maybe he has some insecurity issues that need to come to light, and its good if it does cause then he wont suffer alone with it (that kind of thing can destroy a maregge) find a way you can put his mind at ease, also some times if you have a jealous hubby letting him see he has some control over a situation will put him at ease more and he will be more laid back.
but also I would say examine your self and make sure you aren't wanting to post pics to get hit on to boost your ego cause that is just like cheating on your spouse, but if you want to post pics of the same bikini you wear at the beach to get the full effect of the lose and you don't have any other motives then I don't see a prob as long as hubby is ok, after all some country's would call wearing short sleeves slutty and in other countrys woman don't wear shirts and wear only loin cloth short thingy s, so its all about the social norm
personally I find Bikinis way to reviling but I am a prude lol, a full length baithing suit is not to bad, also my hubby would say hell no if I wanted to put half naked pic of my self for guys to lust after, for one cuz he would not like other guys looking with disrespectful intentions towards his wife and 2 he would be worried about stockers, lol but if you want my pure opinion I think it is wrong to show of any tummy, clevege, lower and upper back, but once again I am a prude lol
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I guess my husband is kind of the same way..he wouldn't want me posting bikini photos, but he would be okay in clothes...main reason is because he would be afraid of me getting a stalker or some strange thing...Maybe you could explain to him (I know there are a few guys on here) but mostly women and they are all posting their pictures as well to show progress. Tell him you are not going to post them anywhere else..and I agree to keep your face out of it, because he probably fears them getting into the wrong hands. And maybe instead do like a sports bra and shorts or something that isn't as revealing so it causes him less worry. No matter what, congratulations for what you have accomplished!0
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I just want to say that I feel extremely attacked for expressing my opinion to the OP. I wasn't trying to disrespect marriage, but, if it would help her in her journey to take before and after pics, then she should. There is also a choice of keeping her profile private so only her friends see the pictures. It's her choice to keep the pics private or public. Am I married? No. I don't exactly believe in romantic love. I have no interest in it. I apologize if it sounded like I had no respect toward marriage. My only point was that if she wants to take the pics, she should. It's her choice if she wants to post them online.
So before you go and attack someone in a public forum, you might want to rethink that and send a private message. This is why many new people like me don't want to post in forums. People are so rude.0 -
I read through all 4 pages on here and it sounded like a bunch of bitter, single never-kept-a-man women. Okay that was rude of me. But still. I may be young and inexperienced or blind or whatever you want to do to attack me. But after witnessing marriage first hand (my mother and step-father, my aunts, anyone else in my family that has been with the same person for longer than 4 months) respecting your partners wishes NO MATTER IF IT'S YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE is more important than posting pictures of yourself on the internet. Sure you can post them here, and then 2 hours later their everywhere. You could end up on Failblog, some creepy stalker's website, or who knows where else.
And for those of you saying "you go to beach don't you? same thing" it's not the same thing.
Talk it over with him. Find out a point where you both agree and go from there. Understand why he doesn't want you posting them instead of just guessing. Relationships are about communication. Trust me I had to find that out the hard way.
MFP is not worth the drama at home. Once you turn off your computer, we won't be there anymore and you'll have to live with whatever decision you make.0 -
I read through all 4 pages on here and it sounded like a bunch of bitter, single never-kept-a-man women. Okay that was rude of me. But still. I may be young and inexperienced or blind or whatever you want to do to attack me. But after witnessing marriage first hand (my mother and step-father, my aunts, anyone else in my family that has been with the same person for longer than 4 months) respecting your partners wishes NO MATTER IF IT'S YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE is more important than posting pictures of yourself on the internet. Sure you can post them here, and then 2 hours later their everywhere. You could end up on Failblog, some creepy stalker's website, or who knows where else.
And for those of you saying "you go to beach don't you? same thing" it's not the same thing.
Talk it over with him. Find out a point where you both agree and go from there. Understand why he doesn't want you posting them instead of just guessing. Relationships are about communication. Trust me I had to find that out the hard way.
MFP is not worth the drama at home. Once you turn off your computer, we won't be there anymore and you'll have to live with whatever decision you make.
I apologized. I don't want any kind of drama on here because I NEED this site to help me in my weight loss journey. I just want people to stop attacking me.0 -
the internet is a great relationship killer. it looks all fuzzy and innocent and then it bites you with vampire teeth. beware!!0
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Someone has issues. Just sayin0
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Do what you have to do - I'm a great believer in before, during and after photo's (taking the putting them online bit out of it) It's great for your own personal satisfaction of seeing how far you've come.0
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My husband does NOT want me posting any body pics
NONE whatsoever.
I took "before" bikini pics back in the summer. We were dating then, not even married. Even then he complained about the pics and begged me not to post them, so I took them down after a few days. I've since lost a few lbs and inches and was thinking about taking updates, but he absolutely refuses to take them for me... !!??!!
I told him "everyone's doing it"... LOL. He hates the idea of me "sharing" myself on the internet. I told him it's for a good reason but he won't budge. The only thing I could do is go behind his back
I am a bit upset about this. What would YOU do? Any opinions, advice, suggestions?
Take photos that are not swimwear, just normal clothes. Normal clothes' photos can still show weightloss, no probs.
It can't be to do with your face as that is your face in your profile piccie isn't it?
Yes, that's my face. He's "ok" with face pics, sort of. He's just very private and doesn't want guys looking, I guess?? Normal clothes pics aren't really going to show anything at all. I didn't lose a lot of weight... it's mainly for me to see if I'm leaning out and at what rate... basically, to motivate me to keep going. Cause sometimes it seems like the fat just wants to cling to me. If I post myself in clothes that don't cling skin tight or something I won't be able to see any difference... the whole idea is to see the fat disappear, you know?
From my experience, husbands are very protective of their wives. Its not that he is being mean or tell you what to do, he is showing that he cares. There are a lot of creeps. I know you want to show your results for others inspirations but see if he will come to a compromise. If not, its not worth fighting or arguing about since its not that serious. My opinion.0 -
I read through all 4 pages on here and it sounded like a bunch of bitter, single never-kept-a-man women. Okay that was rude of me. But still. I may be young and inexperienced or blind or whatever you want to do to attack me. But after witnessing marriage first hand (my mother and step-father, my aunts, anyone else in my family that has been with the same person for longer than 4 months) respecting your partners wishes NO MATTER IF IT'S YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE is more important than posting pictures of yourself on the internet. Sure you can post them here, and then 2 hours later their everywhere. You could end up on Failblog, some creepy stalker's website, or who knows where else.
And for those of you saying "you go to beach don't you? same thing" it's not the same thing.
Talk it over with him. Find out a point where you both agree and go from there. Understand why he doesn't want you posting them instead of just guessing. Relationships are about communication. Trust me I had to find that out the hard way.
MFP is not worth the drama at home. Once you turn off your computer, we won't be there anymore and you'll have to live with whatever decision you make.
You couldn't of said it better....I agree0 -
I say, just don't do it. Keep yourself a photo album of your progress - you don't really need to show the world your pictures just to motivate yourself. If you want the public recognition, do like the previous poster said and find a more creative way to share it.
Really. If it's that important to him, respect him. No, he definitely doesn't "own" you, but marriage is about mutual respect, love, partnership... if he's asked you not to do something, especially something as unimportant as this, and you go do it behind his back knowing it will hurt him when he finds out, how will that help you in your weight loss journey OR your marriage?
May I suggest instead that you find a way you can work together to support your journey and give you motivation? Maybe you could do your progress photos together for a private album, for example... wink, wink...
)
I totally agree. It doesn't sound like he is unsupportive of you on your journey; he may be concerned about you showing "too much" over the internet because you never know who will see them, etc. My husband is the same way. Definitely take pictures and keep your own personal album of your journey. Seeing the pictures yourself should be motivation enough; does it really matter what the rest of the world thinks?
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Your husband should mean more to you than a bunch of ppl in the interweb....women when did it become so cool to treat our husbands like a puddle of mud? I am my husbands biggest fan and he is mine! You should feel proud that he loves you so much he wants to protect you from all the crazies...
Like this.0 -
I read through all 4 pages on here and it sounded like a bunch of bitter, single never-kept-a-man women. Okay that was rude of me. But still. I may be young and inexperienced or blind or whatever you want to do to attack me. But after witnessing marriage first hand (my mother and step-father, my aunts, anyone else in my family that has been with the same person for longer than 4 months) respecting your partners wishes NO MATTER IF IT'S YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE is more important than posting pictures of yourself on the internet. Sure you can post them here, and then 2 hours later their everywhere. You could end up on Failblog, some creepy stalker's website, or who knows where else.
And for those of you saying "you go to beach don't you? same thing" it's not the same thing.
Talk it over with him. Find out a point where you both agree and go from there. Understand why he doesn't want you posting them instead of just guessing. Relationships are about communication. Trust me I had to find that out the hard way.
MFP is not worth the drama at home. Once you turn off your computer, we won't be there anymore and you'll have to live with whatever decision you make.
You couldn't of said it better....I agree
I apologized. I was wrong. What more do you people want from me???0 -
I wasn't attacking you I was speaking in general. It's so annoying to see people complain about "Husbands are controlling, do what you want, tell him to get over it, he'll being stupid, blah blah blah blah". People need to start seeing situations through other's eyes. There are creeps and stalkers everywhere and they WILL turn every little thing into some creepy thrill.I read through all 4 pages on here and it sounded like a bunch of bitter, single never-kept-a-man women. Okay that was rude of me. But still. I may be young and inexperienced or blind or whatever you want to do to attack me. But after witnessing marriage first hand (my mother and step-father, my aunts, anyone else in my family that has been with the same person for longer than 4 months) respecting your partners wishes NO MATTER IF IT'S YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE is more important than posting pictures of yourself on the internet. Sure you can post them here, and then 2 hours later their everywhere. You could end up on Failblog, some creepy stalker's website, or who knows where else.
And for those of you saying "you go to beach don't you? same thing" it's not the same thing.
Talk it over with him. Find out a point where you both agree and go from there. Understand why he doesn't want you posting them instead of just guessing. Relationships are about communication. Trust me I had to find that out the hard way.
MFP is not worth the drama at home. Once you turn off your computer, we won't be there anymore and you'll have to live with whatever decision you make.
I apologized. I don't want any kind of drama on here because I NEED this site to help me in my weight loss journey. I just want people to stop attacking me.
Being protective and being controlling are two different things. It's just too bad most so-called independent people (men and women) can't see the difference.0 -
I wasn't attacking you I was speaking in general. It's so annoying to see people complain about "Husbands are controlling, do what you want, tell him to get over it, he'll being stupid, blah blah blah blah". People need to start seeing situations through other's eyes. There are creeps and stalkers everywhere and they WILL turn every little thing into some creepy thrill.I read through all 4 pages on here and it sounded like a bunch of bitter, single never-kept-a-man women. Okay that was rude of me. But still. I may be young and inexperienced or blind or whatever you want to do to attack me. But after witnessing marriage first hand (my mother and step-father, my aunts, anyone else in my family that has been with the same person for longer than 4 months) respecting your partners wishes NO MATTER IF IT'S YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE is more important than posting pictures of yourself on the internet. Sure you can post them here, and then 2 hours later their everywhere. You could end up on Failblog, some creepy stalker's website, or who knows where else.
And for those of you saying "you go to beach don't you? same thing" it's not the same thing.
Talk it over with him. Find out a point where you both agree and go from there. Understand why he doesn't want you posting them instead of just guessing. Relationships are about communication. Trust me I had to find that out the hard way.
MFP is not worth the drama at home. Once you turn off your computer, we won't be there anymore and you'll have to live with whatever decision you make.
I apologized. I don't want any kind of drama on here because I NEED this site to help me in my weight loss journey. I just want people to stop attacking me.
Being protective and being controlling are two different things. It's just too bad most so-called independent people (men and women) can't see the difference.
Everyone else in this forum is. I don't know anything about marriage because I've never been in a relationship before. Guys think I'm disgusting because I'm obese. So, it was my mistake to have even chimed in. I wish I didn't. I didn't know people were going to gang up on me and make me feel horrible for something I can't help.0 -
I normally NEVER put my "2-cents" in, especially in this situation, but I just feel this huge need to tell everyone to be careful giving your opinions on this kind of topic. What I would be afraid of is if I told this young lady "Do want you want, he's controlling you - he's not your owner, he's obsessive...just do it anyway!" What happens when you see this woman on the news because her husband got mad and beat her to death, or murdered her? We don't know this man's mindset...only SHE does. She can make this decision HERSELF. He may be the nicest guy in the world, and just a simple modest guy.......or he may be psycho obsessive. Be careful telling this girl to go "burn her bra" and go against this guy........I just think if she agreed to marry this guy, she can deal with her own relationship problems. She's an adult, and can make her own decisions. I have complete faith in her to do what she knows is right.0
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I think you need to ask yourself:
Is marriage > or < some dumb web site?
You know you've lost weight. If it bothers him, why do it?
ETA-- Someone once shared some awesome advice with me: the only person you need to talk to about your relationship problems is the one you're in the relationship with.0 -
Very good point!0
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Great point!0
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I read through all 4 pages on here and it sounded like a bunch of bitter, single never-kept-a-man women. Okay that was rude of me. But still. I may be young and inexperienced or blind or whatever you want to do to attack me. But after witnessing marriage first hand (my mother and step-father, my aunts, anyone else in my family that has been with the same person for longer than 4 months) respecting your partners wishes NO MATTER IF IT'S YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE is more important than posting pictures of yourself on the internet. Sure you can post them here, and then 2 hours later their everywhere. You could end up on Failblog, some creepy stalker's website, or who knows where else.
And for those of you saying "you go to beach don't you? same thing" it's not the same thing.
Talk it over with him. Find out a point where you both agree and go from there. Understand why he doesn't want you posting them instead of just guessing. Relationships are about communication. Trust me I had to find that out the hard way.
MFP is not worth the drama at home. Once you turn off your computer, we won't be there anymore and you'll have to live with whatever decision you make.
^^ gets it.0 -
I'll just boil it down to this:
It's your marriage. You decide what's more important to you. At the end of the day, you are the one that has to deal with him, not any of us. Relationships/marriages are about communication and giving up a part of yourself to the other person. That's why not everyone is suited for it (I know that playing Left 4 Dead until midnight last night would have landed me in the hot seat somewhere but I only answer to myself).
So do what you feel is more important. Your marriage, or doing what you want to do regardless of what someone else thinks.0 -
Everyone else in this forum is. I don't know anything about marriage because I've never been in a relationship before. Guys think I'm disgusting because I'm obese. So, it was my mistake to have even chimed in. I wish I didn't. I didn't know people were going to gang up on me and make me feel horrible for something I can't help.
"MFP is like the world. The world is not full of people that are going to reach out and hug your soul." - sunshine_88
It's over. Let it go gracefully. :flowerforyou:0 -
Thats the best advice!
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Great point!
Who are you talking to?0 -
I wasn't attacking you I was speaking in general. It's so annoying to see people complain about "Husbands are controlling, do what you want, tell him to get over it, he'll being stupid, blah blah blah blah". People need to start seeing situations through other's eyes. There are creeps and stalkers everywhere and they WILL turn every little thing into some creepy thrill.I read through all 4 pages on here and it sounded like a bunch of bitter, single never-kept-a-man women. Okay that was rude of me. But still. I may be young and inexperienced or blind or whatever you want to do to attack me. But after witnessing marriage first hand (my mother and step-father, my aunts, anyone else in my family that has been with the same person for longer than 4 months) respecting your partners wishes NO MATTER IF IT'S YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE is more important than posting pictures of yourself on the internet. Sure you can post them here, and then 2 hours later their everywhere. You could end up on Failblog, some creepy stalker's website, or who knows where else.
And for those of you saying "you go to beach don't you? same thing" it's not the same thing.
Talk it over with him. Find out a point where you both agree and go from there. Understand why he doesn't want you posting them instead of just guessing. Relationships are about communication. Trust me I had to find that out the hard way.
MFP is not worth the drama at home. Once you turn off your computer, we won't be there anymore and you'll have to live with whatever decision you make.
I apologized. I don't want any kind of drama on here because I NEED this site to help me in my weight loss journey. I just want people to stop attacking me.
Being protective and being controlling are two different things. It's just too bad most so-called independent people (men and women) can't see the difference.
Everyone else in this forum is. I don't know anything about marriage because I've never been in a relationship before. Guys think I'm disgusting because I'm obese. So, it was my mistake to have even chimed in. I wish I didn't. I didn't know people were going to gang up on me and make me feel horrible for something I can't help.
I really doubt everyone is singling you out.I normally NEVER put my "2-cents" in, especially in this situation, but I just feel this huge need to tell everyone to be careful giving your opinions on this kind of topic. What I would be afraid of is if I told this young lady "Do want you want, he's controlling you - he's not your owner, he's obsessive...just do it anyway!" What happens when you see this woman on the news because her husband got mad and beat her to death, or murdered her? We don't know this man's mindset...only SHE does. She can make this decision HERSELF. He may be the nicest guy in the world, and just a simple modest guy.......or he may be psycho obsessive. Be careful telling this girl to go "burn her bra" and go against this guy........I just think if she agreed to marry this guy, she can deal with her own relationship problems. She's an adult, and can make her own decisions. I have complete faith in her to do what she knows is right.
Don't take this the wrong way but it made me giggle a little (only because I use to watch none stop 24/7 Lifetime with my mother before I bought my own television). But I do agree, she is an adult and her decisions will affect not only herself, but her husband as well. She knows her situation more than anyone on the internet.
Personally I like to pretend internet people are just computers with AI. Opinions of others are fine, but the decision is hers.0 -
I like your cat. I hope your husband is OK with that.
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Your motives are innocent. He is being very insecure. Maybe he's worried that you'll loose your weight and find someone else. I feel he's wrong to not be more supportive but it's up to you whether or not it's worth the fight. But I would also see this as a warning sign of things to come if you don't nip it in the bud!0
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I read through all 4 pages on here and it sounded like a bunch of bitter, single never-kept-a-man women. Okay that was rude of me. But still. I may be young and inexperienced or blind or whatever you want to do to attack me. But after witnessing marriage first hand (my mother and step-father, my aunts, anyone else in my family that has been with the same person for longer than 4 months) respecting your partners wishes NO MATTER IF IT'S YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE is more important than posting pictures of yourself on the internet. Sure you can post them here, and then 2 hours later their everywhere. You could end up on Failblog, some creepy stalker's website, or who knows where else.
And for those of you saying "you go to beach don't you? same thing" it's not the same thing.
Talk it over with him. Find out a point where you both agree and go from there. Understand why he doesn't want you posting them instead of just guessing. Relationships are about communication. Trust me I had to find that out the hard way.
MFP is not worth the drama at home. Once you turn off your computer, we won't be there anymore and you'll have to live with whatever decision you make.
I was one of the ones you're talking about and Ive been with my husband since I was 18 and very happily married almost 8 years... So not all of the people who had posted on the first 4 pages are "a bunch of bitter, single never-kept-a-man women" I just don't believe in bowing down to a man if you want to do something. Would I talk to him about it? yes... But in the end, I would do what I wanted to do.0 -
So if you know and you can see that you've lost weight and toned, why do you need to post them on the internet?0
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I'll just boil it down to this:
It's your marriage. You decide what's more important to you. At the end of the day, you are the one that has to deal with him, not any of us. Relationships/marriages are about communication and giving up a part of yourself to the other person. That's why not everyone is suited for it (I know that playing Left 4 Dead until midnight last night would have landed me in the hot seat somewhere but I only answer to myself).
So do what you feel is more important. Your marriage, or doing what you want to do regardless of what someone else thinks.
I apologize for being way off topic, but your mention of L4D made me all giggle-ly:bigsmile:0
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