Posting Before & After Pics... Husband is NOT supportive

JennieAL

My husband does NOT want me posting any body pics NONE whatsoever.

I took "before" bikini pics back in the summer. We were dating then, not even married. Even then he complained about the pics and begged me not to post them, so I took them down after a few days. I've since lost a few lbs and inches and was thinking about taking updates, but he absolutely refuses to take them for me... !!??!!

I told him "everyone's doing it"... LOL. He hates the idea of me "sharing" myself on the internet. I told him it's for a good reason but he won't budge. The only thing I could do is go behind his back

I am a bit upset about this. What would YOU do? Any opinions, advice, suggestions?

Scorpioangel

Is your face in the pics? He may just be concerned about you and people taking your pics for their own strange reasons (weirdos out there). On my pics I took my face off and my boyfriend seemed ok with it. I have heard of people not liking their significant other doing that though, although I completely agree with you that posting them is a great way to get motivation and support!

Kelly_1981

He is your husband not your owner! Do what YOU need to do, if posting pics will help your journey then post it. (Cut your head out if you want)

Di3012

My husband does NOT want me posting any body pics NONE whatsoever.

I took "before" bikini pics back in the summer. We were dating then, not even married. Even then he complained about the pics and begged me not to post them, so I took them down after a few days. I've since lost a few lbs and inches and was thinking about taking updates, but he absolutely refuses to take them for me... !!??!!

I told him "everyone's doing it"... LOL. He hates the idea of me "sharing" myself on the internet. I told him it's for a good reason but he won't budge. The only thing I could do is go behind his back

I am a bit upset about this. What would YOU do? Any opinions, advice, suggestions?

Take photos that are not swimwear, just normal clothes. Normal clothes' photos can still show weightloss, no probs.

It can't be to do with your face as that is your face in your profile piccie isn't it?

Kelly_1981

Thats another idea just post pics in clothes :-)

spectralmoon

While I'm not for pissing off your significant other (if my guy did something I asked him not to on the internet, I wouldn't be supportive either), I think that it's worth finding out exactly which angle he's taking it from. Is he just being possessive in the couple-type way, or is he ashamed that someone might find them, possibly recognize you, and judge him by it?

JennieAL

My husband does NOT want me posting any body pics NONE whatsoever.

I took "before" bikini pics back in the summer. We were dating then, not even married. Even then he complained about the pics and begged me not to post them, so I took them down after a few days. I've since lost a few lbs and inches and was thinking about taking updates, but he absolutely refuses to take them for me... !!??!!

I told him "everyone's doing it"... LOL. He hates the idea of me "sharing" myself on the internet. I told him it's for a good reason but he won't budge. The only thing I could do is go behind his back

I am a bit upset about this. What would YOU do? Any opinions, advice, suggestions?

Take photos that are not swimwear, just normal clothes. Normal clothes' photos can still show weightloss, no probs.

It can't be to do with your face as that is your face in your profile piccie isn't it?

Yes, that's my face. He's "ok" with face pics, sort of. He's just very private and doesn't want guys looking, I guess?? Normal clothes pics aren't really going to show anything at all. I didn't lose a lot of weight... it's mainly for me to see if I'm leaning out and at what rate... basically, to motivate me to keep going. Cause sometimes it seems like the fat just wants to cling to me. If I post myself in clothes that don't cling skin tight or something I won't be able to see any difference... the whole idea is to see the fat disappear, you know?

BroiledNotFried

Ahh, the first few years can be rough. From decisions like this one, to weekend long hunting trips (every few weeks), long golf games EVERY weekend, nudie-bars, which family to visit for the holidays . . . .

It's a give and take. What if he wanted to do something that made you uncomfortable? What if he went & did it? How would that make you feel?

Perhaps he feels that you in your skivies on the Internet is overly revealing & erodes his intimate image of you (i.e. knowing the entire world can see you)?

Perhaps you can compromise? How would he feel about yoga pants/shirts and a t-shirt feel for both of you? If you lost any significant amount of weight, we'd all tell it and be able to cheer you on further.

Compromise, or get a divorce attorney.

Teresa527

Does he allow you to go swimming or to the beach?
Even though it makes me a little nauseous to say "allow".

I don't get the difference?
What about if he takes them and you just do a side by side comparison for yourself?

fiberartist219

Suggestions:
1. Don't include the face or anything recognizable in the pics. (I have a specific mole that would give me away.)
2. Create a new account that is anonymous. I refuse to post pics of myself, because I don't want my coworkers to know my screen name. I say a lot of stuff on here that I would be terrified of saying to people I see face to face.
3. Instead of posting pictures, post your measurements
4. Use creative editing to make a picture... you can post a silhouette or photoshop someone else's head on your body. Post a drawing of the picture. :laugh:
5. Do what you want and hope he gets over it. You're his wife, not his b!tch, so your wishes about your own body trump his wishes about your body.

KareninCanada

I say, just don't do it. Keep yourself a photo album of your progress - you don't really need to show the world your pictures just to motivate yourself. If you want the public recognition, do like the previous poster said and find a more creative way to share it.

Really. If it's that important to him, respect him. No, he definitely doesn't "own" you, but marriage is about mutual respect, love, partnership... if he's asked you not to do something, especially something as unimportant as this, and you go do it behind his back knowing it will hurt him when he finds out, how will that help you in your weight loss journey OR your marriage?

May I suggest instead that you find a way you can work together to support your journey and give you motivation? Maybe you could do your progress photos together for a private album, for example... wink, wink...

)

JennieAL

Does he allow you to go swimming or to the beach?
Even though it makes me a little nauseous to say "allow".

I don't get the difference?
What about if he takes them and you just do a side by side comparison for yourself?

Ummm, yeah I go to the beach and I did wear my bikini. He didn't like it but he dealt with it. He isn't controlling or anything, he just doesn't think it's necessary for me to post pics on here. I guess I feel left out and I really wanted to share my progress pics

JennieAL

I say, just don't do it. Keep yourself a photo album of your progress - you don't really need to show the world your pictures just to motivate yourself. If you want the public recognition, do like the previous poster said and find a more creative way to share it.

Really. If it's that important to him, respect him. No, he definitely doesn't "own" you, but marriage is about mutual respect, love, partnership... if he's asked you not to do something, especially something as unimportant as this, and you go do it behind his back knowing it will hurt him when he finds out, how will that help you in your weight loss journey?

May I suggest instead that you find a way you can work together to support your journey and give you motivation? Maybe you could do your progress photos together for a private album, for example... wink, wink...

)

I like your response. I wouldn't want to hurt him. It's not worth it.

It's just odd for me... I am very independent and have always done whatever I please... resenting others telling me what to do. But being married is just something I'm having to get used to. There's ALWAYS someone else there to consider... LOL. I was an only child and waited until I was 35 to get married.... LOL!!! See where I'm coming from? And he's got some weird modesty hangup :P

Jamie145

well as long as yur not naked i dont see why not..u want to post yur pics to show yur progress..its not like yur sending them to some dude or porn site......

MikeM53082

Honestly, I think the whole thing is a little rediculous. But I would still respect your husband wishes as I'm sure he would do the same for you.

KareninCanada

And he's got some weird modesty hangup :P

So do I... which is why you'll never see a before OR a progress picture of me on here. lol

sarahp86

Have you any of you fully clothed? Share your success girl

tmarie2715

My husband does NOT want me posting any body pics NONE whatsoever.

I took "before" bikini pics back in the summer. We were dating then, not even married. Even then he complained about the pics and begged me not to post them, so I took them down after a few days. I've since lost a few lbs and inches and was thinking about taking updates, but he absolutely refuses to take them for me... !!??!!

I told him "everyone's doing it"... LOL. He hates the idea of me "sharing" myself on the internet. I told him it's for a good reason but he won't budge. The only thing I could do is go behind his back

I am a bit upset about this. What would YOU do? Any opinions, advice, suggestions?

Take photos that are not swimwear, just normal clothes. Normal clothes' photos can still show weightloss, no probs.

It can't be to do with your face as that is your face in your profile piccie isn't it?

Or workout gear, maybe? Like a sports bra and some cropped yoga pants?

Dtho5159

I guess I just don't get it lol. Ive been married almost 8 years and wouldn't be okay with my husband telling me I couldn't post pics.. Like another poster said, its not like you're turning them into Playboy. Im sure he has his reasons, it just seems a bit controlling to me :huh:

fitniknik

Google your name on here... that stuff goes up on the internet for everyone to see if its "googled" properly!

evansproudmama

My husband does NOT want me posting any body pics NONE whatsoever.

I took "before" bikini pics back in the summer. We were dating then, not even married. Even then he complained about the pics and begged me not to post them, so I took them down after a few days. I've since lost a few lbs and inches and was thinking about taking updates, but he absolutely refuses to take them for me... !!??!!

I told him "everyone's doing it"... LOL. He hates the idea of me "sharing" myself on the internet. I told him it's for a good reason but he won't budge. The only thing I could do is go behind his back

I am a bit upset about this. What would YOU do? Any opinions, advice, suggestions?

Take photos that are not swimwear, just normal clothes. Normal clothes' photos can still show weightloss, no probs.

It can't be to do with your face as that is your face in your profile piccie isn't it?

Yes, that's my face. He's "ok" with face pics, sort of. He's just very private and doesn't want guys looking, I guess?? Normal clothes pics aren't really going to show anything at all. I didn't lose a lot of weight... it's mainly for me to see if I'm leaning out and at what rate... basically, to motivate me to keep going. Cause sometimes it seems like the fat just wants to cling to me. If I post myself in clothes that don't cling skin tight or something I won't be able to see any difference... the whole idea is to see the fat disappear, you know?

I take most of my pics with my face cutt off that way my pics wont be all around lol but if he doesnt feel comfortable with it maybe you can comprimise and take them for your self and not post them?

Quiing

Your husband is not your owner. You have every right to be proud of your before and afters enough to want to share them. If its that big of a deal, crop or blur your face out of the picture. Post it girl, we all will celebrate with you!

Huffdogg

He isn't controlling or anything,

Of course he is.

MaximalLife

My husband does NOT want me posting any body pics NONE whatsoever.

I took "before" bikini pics back in the summer. We were dating then, not even married. Even then he complained about the pics and begged me not to post them, so I took them down after a few days. I've since lost a few lbs and inches and was thinking about taking updates, but he absolutely refuses to take them for me... !!??!!

I told him "everyone's doing it"... LOL. He hates the idea of me "sharing" myself on the internet. I told him it's for a good reason but he won't budge. The only thing I could do is go behind his back

I am a bit upset about this. What would YOU do? Any opinions, advice, suggestions?

What an insecure little troll....
Oh well, you married him, so maybe you should just take all your pics wearing a burka.

Natihilator

My two cents is this is obviously important to you, and not silly or ridiculous. You worked for it and want to show your loss proudly. It seems a little over-paranoid of him to not want you "sharing" yourself, it's YOUR body.

khk2010

Gotta say after all these years my husband wouldn't like it either. I take it as a compliment that he still cares!

pixiexxgirl

No offense to your husband or you, but these are the type of people who really make me made. He seems controlling or that is what it is coming off as.
This is YOUR body, not his. If your proud of your of losing a few pounds take the pictures! He'll be mad for a few days but he'll get over it. If this HELPS you then he should understand this.

I understand him being iffy about others seeing your body but there are TONS of ladies on here who post pics, even if their just in sport bars and shorts. If you have to keep your clothes on and take them!

teagin2002

my hubby is the same way, I posted them anyway and now they can be found on google even after I deleted them.
Apparently this is why he didn't want me to post them, and I wish I would have cut off my face or head but I didn't. He is still working on getting them off google, not because they are revealing (not in a bikini) just because now we don't have control over who gets to see or handle them.

I would speak with him about doing the off with the head stuff and see how he feels, and honestly when it comes to control we both discuss things and make decisions together, so you can say we both control each other to have a better life together.
Remember posting your pic on here isn't really worth getting upset about, him not seeing or entertaining your point of view or needs is.
If you are going to fight then fight for the rite reasons, your opinion and needs matter and there is a need you have that should be met by posting your pics. That is what you should be discussing

granvee

Think of it like this: on one hand: you want to do it, it's part of the "weight-loss journey"...but on the other hand: your husband doesn't want you to do it.
2 questions: why is it important to you that you do it? You (and close friends/family) can have those pics and see your own progress... who, besides strangers, can only see your progress on internet??
2. Why is it important to him that you NOT do it?
COMMUNICATE, & give and take...that and our faith in GOD has made our 32 years work...
praying for you!!
granvee

JennieAL

Ok... for the record. I can do what I want. I can post pics and he can do nothing to stop me... that's NOT what I'm asking about here. I'm just trying to figure out a way to get him to see the value and benefit of it. And not seeing it so one-sided, that's all.

He doesn't post his pics on the internet, ever... period. Under no circumstance. So, he naturally isn't crazy about me doing the same. He's just very private, he is NOT controlling. I do what I want in this house, trust me! LOL.

JennieAL

my hubby is the same way, I posted them anyway and now they can be found on google even after I deleted them.
Apparently this is why he didn't want me to post them, and I wish I would have cut off my face or head but I didn't. He is still working on getting them off google, not because they are revealing (not in a bikini) just because now we don't have control over who gets to see or handle them.

I would speak with him about doing the off with the head stuff and see how he feels, and honestly when it comes to control we both discuss things and make decisions together, so you can say we both control each other to have a better life together.
Remember posting your pic on here isn't really worth getting upset about, him not seeing or entertaining your point of view or needs is.
If you are going to fight then fight for the rite reasons, your opinion and needs matter and there is a need you have that should be met by posting your pics. That is what you should be discussing

Yes, exactly. Thanks.