ever been told you werent good looking?

engineman312

again, i am really surprised at all the responses! i was expecting this thread to die early!

most of you say how you have been told you were ugly or whatever yet you have husbands and wives.. im 27 and not married... i think im single for life!

but i dont think something is wrong with me... im just sayin.. some of you guys seem to be VERY hard on your own opinion of how you look and you have NO reason to feel anything but GREAT about yourself!

27 is still really young...

not in texas. over there they expect you to be hitched an with two kids by then.

DeeJayTJ

again, i am really surprised at all the responses! i was expecting this thread to die early!

most of you say how you have been told you were ugly or whatever yet you have husbands and wives.. im 27 and not married... i think im single for life!

but i dont think something is wrong with me... im just sayin.. some of you guys seem to be VERY hard on your own opinion of how you look and you have NO reason to feel anything but GREAT about yourself!

27 is still really young...

not in texas. over there they expect you to be hitched an with two kids by then.

seems that way...

im not implying that i wish i was married and had kids or something, no not at all i feel like im too young for that. im just sayin ive had some bad luck with relationships for a while.. usually women that have no idea what they want and like the idea of having a bf rather than knowing who i actually am!

Priincess_Natalie

again, i am really surprised at all the responses! i was expecting this thread to die early!

most of you say how you have been told you were ugly or whatever yet you have husbands and wives.. im 27 and not married... i think im single for life!

but i dont think something is wrong with me... im just sayin.. some of you guys seem to be VERY hard on your own opinion of how you look and you have NO reason to feel anything but GREAT about yourself!

I wasn't married until 30.

Priincess_Natalie

again, i am really surprised at all the responses! i was expecting this thread to die early!

most of you say how you have been told you were ugly or whatever yet you have husbands and wives.. im 27 and not married... i think im single for life!

but i dont think something is wrong with me... im just sayin.. some of you guys seem to be VERY hard on your own opinion of how you look and you have NO reason to feel anything but GREAT about yourself!

27 is still really young...

not in texas. over there they expect you to be hitched an with two kids by then.

seems that way...

im not implying that i wish i was married and had kids or something, no not at all i feel like im too young for that. im just sayin ive had some bad luck with relationships for a while.. usually women that have no idea what they want and like the idea of having a bf rather than knowing who i actually am!

Try dating women that are a little older. Young girls are like that. Not all but most. They don't know what they want so relationships are tricky. I was guilty of this. I wanted the relationship really bad but had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be with.

Finigan84

I have gotten this forever...It never gets easier to hear "You really don't have any redeeming qualities...physically I mean. You're very smart". This is among family members. From "friends" I have gotten "Aww don't lose weight you're my token fat friend" or "well I will try to look good for both of us, maybe it will be dark in there"...Think I need new people in my life.

tmarie2715

...

Late teens i was refered to by a few guys to have a pretty face 'shame about the body'.

...

I got the opposite.

wendyw8

Yes I have been told that, in high school. And once since I have been older, in high school it really messed with me, but now I don't care. If ya don't like it, turn your head the other way lol!

jillica

I think it is great you've lost 50 lbs - great job.

I didn't read all the other comments, but another reason she may be calling is because if she is that blunt and rude with everyone she may very well have no more friends left to hang out with.

Elizabeth_C34

I've always been the "smart and funny" one in my group. Most of my girlfriends are gorgeous (thin, fit, confident, good skin, good hair, tec.). I am not so much, but I like who I am, and I love my friends beautiful or not. When we are out as a group, I almost never get hit on like they do.

As for how it affected me, I used to get really bothered by it. Not so much anymore. I'm used to it and very happy with who I am, warts and all. (I don't really have warts, just a figure of speech).

Getting thinner was the one thing I could do to help make me more confident, so I am doing that. It's good to have a little inspiration to keep going.

LauraSmyth28

again, i am really surprised at all the responses! i was expecting this thread to die early!

most of you say how you have been told you were ugly or whatever yet you have husbands and wives.. im 27 and not married... i think im single for life!

but i dont think something is wrong with me... im just sayin.. some of you guys seem to be VERY hard on your own opinion of how you look and you have NO reason to feel anything but GREAT about yourself!

Wtf? I'm 26.5. Should I be worried that I'm not yet married? I've got two kids though.....so maybe I'm just doing it backwards!

eellis2000

Yes!

I have heard guys in their groups comment "horrible" or "nahhhhhh!!" and even "fat" - all out loud, loud enough for me to hear when I have walked past them or when they have walked past me, on holiday and here in the UK.

All of them were British guys, by the way! :mad:

I really think that the best thing to do is to confront people like that. You don't even have to say anything to them, simply turn around and give them a long look. People who say hateful things like that are generally cowards who count on their "target" just taking the abuse and walking away. It's actually pretty amusing to see the looks of confusion and embarrassment when they realize that you won't tolerate their boorish behavior. I guess I sound a little crazy, but this topic has gotten me really worked up. I spent my entire childhood and young-adulthood being the butt of everyone's jokes, and I've decided that it's never going to happen to me again--or to ANYONE else if I can help it. I'm not advocating that anyone do anything crazy or dangerous, just stick up for yourself and others.

I know how you feel, I have always been the butt of people's jokes as well, even into adulthood. I figure someday they will grow up. And no that behavior has nothing to do with why I'm getting fit. I'm doing it for me and the way it makes me feel. The fact that my husband will enjoy it is also a bonus

Jadbaa

My husband told me I wasn't the prettiest girl in the world. This was when we were first together. He hasn't ever said it again but it's hard to forget it when your spouse says it.

pitbullmom87

i can completely relate. i was really pretty when i was young and as i got older, my self esteem went downhill because my friends were always the ones being asked out and not me... i have been in an off and on relationship since i was 14, i think the main reason i kept taking him back was because i truly felt like i was not good enough for anyone. he was the only guy who ever really gave me the attention i have craved. we ended our relationship again back at the end of june and i havent even looked at another guy since. not to mention, my self esteem got even worse. ive always been the type of girl to be friends with guys, but they never looked twice at me, probably because I could beat them up (i was a tough lil lady)... i've lost 19lbs so far and just the other day at work, i noticed a guy that kept looking at me, at first i thought i was paranoid, but i asked another coworker if she saw what i was seeing. she agreed and it made me feel good, like my hard work is paying off and now im finally starting to get a little bit of self confidence back.. for years i have always realized my friends were prettier than me, and it really upset me. but then i realized, i dont need anyone to make me happy and also...most of the guys around my area are losers and only want the sluts anyway... im just waiting for someone to come along and sweep me off my feet, because there is someone out there for everyone... some of us just havent found them yet

Guatamellon

I have been told several times. You have a pretty face. "If you loose your weight , you could be HOT" WTF..... Ya its always in the back of my mind. I dont just want to look beautiful.... I want to feel beautiful. I am shocked how anyone could tell someone they are ugly.

becoming_a_new_me

Yes!

I have heard guys in their groups comment "horrible" or "nahhhhhh!!" and even "fat" - all out loud, loud enough for me to hear when I have walked past them or when they have walked past me, on holiday and here in the UK.

All of them were British guys, by the way! :mad:

I really think that the best thing to do is to confront people like that. You don't even have to say anything to them, simply turn around and give them a long look. People who say hateful things like that are generally cowards who count on their "target" just taking the abuse and walking away. It's actually pretty amusing to see the looks of confusion and embarrassment when they realize that you won't tolerate their boorish behavior. I guess I sound a little crazy, but this topic has gotten me really worked up. I spent my entire childhood and young-adulthood being the butt of everyone's jokes, and I've decided that it's never going to happen to me again--or to ANYONE else if I can help it. I'm not advocating that anyone do anything crazy or dangerous, just stick up for yourself and others.

I know how you feel, I have always been the butt of people's jokes as well, even into adulthood. I figure someday they will grow up. And no that behavior has nothing to do with why I'm getting fit. I'm doing it for me and the way it makes me feel. The fact that my husband will enjoy it is also a bonus

I do agree with the long look. I have a look that will kill, and I have silenced many a stupid man with that look.

alishuman

Oh, my entire life... literally. It started with my mum and sisters and I remember insults from before I started kindergarten... right up through high school where one of the 'mean girls' I worked with actually said, "I can't see what ______ sees in you. You aren't pretty at all."

When I was about 17, it was all too much. I was barely overweight, but anorexia became my best friend, and suddenly I was smoking hot according to all the guys I knew. But I will NEVER go that route again.

3 kids later... much, much less hot, lol, and I hear the comments again from certain people. But they are toxic people, I understand that, now, and I'm trying to be healthy in ALL areas of my life, so... I limit exposure to them. My husband loves me and lets me know he's attracted to me, but it still hurts to hear that some people cannot value me for who I am as a person instead of how I look on the outside.

I would have to say that while I don't like being unattractive, being better looking isn't really a huge motivator for me to lose my extra weight and get fit. It will just be a nice side benefit.

DeeJayTJ

i think its the people that have told us these mean words that are the ugly ones.

i also think it all has to do with how you carry yourself though too.. i mean i could look like a slob all day and no on will find me attractive that's for sure.

or i can care about my appearance and im sure people will notice.

Elizabeth_C34

3 kids later... much, much less hot

Motherhood is beautiful no matter how big or small you are.

ladyfox1979

This thread is not very motivating I think discourages people and makes us think about what we hate about ourselves vs what we love.

Beautiful is defined in many forms and cultures.

_Bob_

I've been told I'm ugly and unattractive by many including those closest to me. It hurts but I don't let it get me down because it's just their opinion not mine.