Is it wrong?

chubbybunnee

Men know what other men are like. There is no real true friendhship between a man and a woman. Men majority of the time have a mentality to hunt. There may be a sense of jealousy from your husband that you get along with these male friends whilst you and your husband are having problems. even when you didnt have problems. its true that when you are married the only relationship you should have with a man is with your husband. he should be your best friend amongst other things. what could you possibly have to talk to other men about? most western women are the cause of all divorces. mainly because they wont compromise or always think they are in the right even when they are doing wrong. and also because they crave the attention of other men. they like to be looked at and/or centre of attention and think harmless flirting is ok. if you crave the attention of other men just goes to show your not ready for the relationship or should not be in one. its the ego of saying i wont change that sends everything in a downward spiral. it dont matter the age, some women never learn and always wonder why relationships go wrong. start looking at yourself!!!! also men do analyse things from the beginning of a relationship, you say he has no reason to mistrust you but men are not stupid he could probably see you talking to men and seeing them make you smile. you are servicing and feeding these inadequacies to him. very selfish act. best councellor you can get is a pastor or priest. Good Luck.

He wont go to church with me

firesoforion

What the ladies don't understand is all of your guy friends have thought of or are thinking about sleeping with you. Men just work that way..

If they're hanging out with someone regardless of the fact that it's obviously never going to happen, I find that rather hard to believe. There's got to be something else there, if it were just a matter of "ooh, girl, sleep with," they'd find someone else.

foodfight247

Is it me or am getting this wrong.

Your husband doesn't like you chatting to long term make friends.
Does that include any new male friends that you have made or simply speak to on MFP.


Personally, i let my other half spend time with make or female friends. I may get a little jealous from time to time...but the point being is that you can't live in each others pockets and not have a certain degree of your own independence and social life.
If you can't break out of the four walls if home and life, what else is there?

Some friends are like family members you've known most if your life. Would you stop talking to a close family member?

Yes, marriage is important and how things affect each other. Compromising can mean a lot too. Talk things through.

Carl01

What the ladies don't understand is all of your guy friends have thought of or are thinking about sleeping with you. Men just work that way..

BS,not all guys are *kitten*.

j4nash

What the ladies don't understand is all of your guy friends have thought of or are thinking about sleeping with you. Men just work that way..

BS,not all guys are *kitten*.

I never said they would ever follow through with it but at some point it has crossed their mind.

deeharley

This situation crossed my mind last night, and I thought what about using the guys friends as a bargaining chip. Tell him he's changed. It used to be okay with him for you to have guy friends and now it's not. And you're concerned about his health. You give up the guy friends for six months, with the stipulation that the two of you together will re-evaluate that situation in six months. Meanwhile, he goes to the gym with you five days a week for six months. If he breaks the bargain, you get your friends back. Since exercise is good for depression and other issues, if he doesn't break your bargain, you'll likely get your husband back, and he will go back to letting you have your friends. And if your friends are really friends, they will understand.

LorinaLynn

What the ladies don't understand is all of your guy friends have thought of or are thinking about sleeping with you. Men just work that way..

BS,not all guys are *kitten*.

I never said they would ever follow through with it but at some point it has crossed their mind.

It's crossed my mind to rob a bank. I highly doubt I'll ever do it, though.

j4nash

What the ladies don't understand is all of your guy friends have thought of or are thinking about sleeping with you. Men just work that way..

BS,not all guys are *kitten*.

I never said they would ever follow through with it but at some point it has crossed their mind.

It's crossed my mind to rob a bank. I highly doubt I'll ever do it, though.

Lol, true.

My point being, if there's a n existing misttrust between the husband and wife, and wife is hanging out with a guy who "might rob a bank" per se, then the husband will be jealous/concerened even though the wife my not do anything.

Carl01

What the ladies don't understand is all of your guy friends have thought of or are thinking about sleeping with you. Men just work that way..

BS,not all guys are *kitten*.

I never said they would ever follow through with it but at some point it has crossed their mind.

It's crossed my mind to rob a bank. I highly doubt I'll ever do it, though.

Lol, true.

My point being, if there's a n existing misttrust between the husband and wife, and wife is hanging out with a guy who "might rob a bank" per se, then the husband will be jealous/concerened even though the wife my not do anything.

How is that her fault then and her responsibility to pacify?
Why is it no one has said,yeah he is being an unreasonable jerk and tell him to grow up and knock it off?

LorinaLynn

But the bank doesn't have to give consent to be robbed. The wife would have to give consent to cheat. If he trusts his wife, it wouldn't matter who she's around.

j4nash

But the bank doesn't have to give consent to be robbed. The wife would have to give consent to cheat. If he trusts his wife, it wouldn't matter who she's around.

The more appropriate question is why the wife would want to hang out with guys who are like that.

j4nash

What the ladies don't understand is all of your guy friends have thought of or are thinking about sleeping with you. Men just work that way..

BS,not all guys are *kitten*.

I never said they would ever follow through with it but at some point it has crossed their mind.

It's crossed my mind to rob a bank. I highly doubt I'll ever do it, though.

Lol, true.

My point being, if there's a n existing misttrust between the husband and wife, and wife is hanging out with a guy who "might rob a bank" per se, then the husband will be jealous/concerened even though the wife my not do anything.

How is that her fault then and her responsibility to pacify?
Why is it no one has said,yeah he is being an unreasonable jerk and tell him to grow up and knock it off?

I never said he wasn't being unreasonable.. but to answer your question, she made the decision to hang out with a guy like that. It's no different if your s/o hangs out with a friend that constantly cheats on their wife/husband.. it's not a good influence and isn't healthy.

Carl01

I never said he wasn't being unreasonable.. but to answer your question, she made the decision to hang out with a guy like that. It's no different if your s/o hangs out with a friend that constantly cheats on their wife/husband.. it's not a good influence and isn't healthy.

From your last two posts you have made a giant leap of assumptions.
I missed anywhere it was said any person she has as a friend has been cheating on anyone.
You seem to be taking your original statement which I said was BS and applying it as fact.

In other words...I say the guys want to have sex with her and that is all they want thus it is bad to have them as friends based on that assumption.

EmCarroll1990

But the bank doesn't have to give consent to be robbed. The wife would have to give consent to cheat. If he trusts his wife, it wouldn't matter who she's around.

The more appropriate question is why the wife would want to hang out with guys who are like that.

Now you're assuming her male friends all want to sleep with her. Grow the *kitten* up, men and women can be friends and leave it just as friends. This post is really starting to bother me with all these asinine responses.

j4nash

But the bank doesn't have to give consent to be robbed. The wife would have to give consent to cheat. If he trusts his wife, it wouldn't matter who she's around.

The more appropriate question is why the wife would want to hang out with guys who are like that.

Now you're assuming her male friends all want to sleep with her. Grow the *kitten* up, men and women can be friends and leave it just as friends. This post is really starting to bother me with all these asinine responses.

Wow, that was harsh. I think you should look in the mirror.

EmCarroll1990

But the bank doesn't have to give consent to be robbed. The wife would have to give consent to cheat. If he trusts his wife, it wouldn't matter who she's around.

The more appropriate question is why the wife would want to hang out with guys who are like that.

Now you're assuming her male friends all want to sleep with her. Grow the *kitten* up, men and women can be friends and leave it just as friends. This post is really starting to bother me with all these asinine responses.

Wow, that was harsh. I think you should look in the mirror.

I'm sorry, it's just infuriating the way people are just assuming men and women cannot be friends simply because they're different genders, which of course means they are going to want to sleep together. And what does checking myself out in the mirror have anything to do with this post?

j4nash

But the bank doesn't have to give consent to be robbed. The wife would have to give consent to cheat. If he trusts his wife, it wouldn't matter who she's around.

The more appropriate question is why the wife would want to hang out with guys who are like that.

Now you're assuming her male friends all want to sleep with her. Grow the *kitten* up, men and women can be friends and leave it just as friends. This post is really starting to bother me with all these asinine responses.

Wow, that was harsh. I think you should look in the mirror.

I'm sorry, it's just infuriating the way people are just assuming men and women cannot be friends simply because they're different genders, which of course means they are going to want to sleep together. And what does checking myself out in the mirror have anything to do with this post?

Telling me to grow the *kitten* up. It's a bit ironic isn't it? I haven't attacked anyone on here yet you choose to do so to me. Hence the look in the mirror statement, you tell me to grow up yet your first retort is an attack.

dragonbait0126

It sounds like you made your decision. Hanging out with single male friends takes precedence over your husband's desire for you not to do so.

if you were truely invested in the marriage you would do anything to make the other person happy. It sounds like you dont care what your husband thinks and just want to do what you want, that is not a marriage.

Umm..doesn't this go both ways? Why does she have to sacrifice but he doesn't? He won't even stop smoking around her KNOWING that she has a health issue. If he was truly invested in the marriage he would be doing things to make her happy as well. Granted, I don't know the entire story but from reading her posts, it sounds like she is sacrificing much more than he is. And the fact that this only started a month ago makes it even more suspicious. Why is it that he was okay with it before but all of a sudden he's not?

My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married (officially) for 1. We both have friends of the opposite gender. Some are people that we are both friends with, others are my friends, and there are others who are his friends. I will never understand why anyone would demand that thier spouse/significant other/whatever you want to call them give up certain friends simply because of gender. That screams to me that you just don't trust the person you have chosen to be with. And if you can't trust them, then you shouldn't be with them. I get that people have insecurities. I have them too. But just becasue my ex was abusive doesn't mean that I'm going to cower in a corner every time my husband and I have an argument. My husband is NOT my ex. He's a totally different person and I know that I can trust him. Just because an ex cheated doesn't mean that the person you are with will. You have to trust the person who are with. You have to respect one another. In this case, it sounds like there is a lack of both.

EmCarroll1990

But the bank doesn't have to give consent to be robbed. The wife would have to give consent to cheat. If he trusts his wife, it wouldn't matter who she's around.

The more appropriate question is why the wife would want to hang out with guys who are like that.

Now you're assuming her male friends all want to sleep with her. Grow the *kitten* up, men and women can be friends and leave it just as friends. This post is really starting to bother me with all these asinine responses.

Wow, that was harsh. I think you should look in the mirror.

I'm sorry, it's just infuriating the way people are just assuming men and women cannot be friends simply because they're different genders, which of course means they are going to want to sleep together. And what does checking myself out in the mirror have anything to do with this post?

Telling me to grow the *kitten* up. It's a bit ironic isn't it? I haven't attacked anyone on here yet you choose to do so to me. Hence the look in the mirror statement, you tell me to grow up yet your first retort is an attack.

Someone above had mentioned that they were surprised no one had told anyone to "Grow the *kitten* up." So, I did. I did not "attack" you, I asked you to grow up, maybe a bit harshly. Which I also did apologize for and followed with an explanation. It's simply, as I stated above, infuriating that people are so close minded as to assume men and women cannot be simply friends.

ASPhantom

Why aren't you asking him to go along?
You mentioned you like to have some of the guys go out with you when you go out with the girls. Doesn't that kind of make it like a group date?

Sorry, but it sounds to me like you wish you were still single.

Your husband should be your best friend and if you are choosing to hang out with other guys over him, sounds like you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

I would also be asking what he does on his weekends away. Just to be supportive and let him know that you care what he is doing, if for no other reason.