For the guys ... is ignoring the best way?

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  • Bronx_Montgomery
    Bronx_Montgomery Posts: 2,287 Member
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    Guys are idiots. I should know Im one. It truly does depend on the guy but us guys want to know. I love when a woman is straight forward. I think a woman that shows that much confidence is hotter then a woman who wants to be chased. I think the older you get your realize that you do not have time to play games.
  • djsysstem
    djsysstem Posts: 115 Member
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    I appreciate your response. I think you are absolutely right. It's none of my business. I'll steer clear of the whole situation as it was my original goal, I just had to be sure if its the right thing to do. Apparently it is in whichever way the situation will play out.
    That's fiance's problem. He left her for 9 months when he was off on business to Moscow. He didn't help her with the moving and now he's leaving her again for god knows how long. Its fiance's problem he doesn't take care for his woman.
    If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?

    No, that's HER and HER fiance's problem. The fact that YOU think he doesn't take care of "his woman" (I have a problem with that statement btw) is not your decision to make. She's made it clear that you and her are just friends. Don't complicate the issue.

    To the OP: Sorry for the thread hyjack btw...
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
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    I told my husband on our first well date/day together that he would marry me one day.
  • 1996gtstang
    1996gtstang Posts: 279 Member
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    I cant seem to talk to girls that I'm really interested in yet I am very outgoing and flirt with girls I dont want to date lol
  • slay0r
    slay0r Posts: 669 Member
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    Some guys are clueless when someone who actually likes them tries to hint it. It depends on the guy. If he has NO IDEA, then you should at least let him know.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Some guys? I'd say all guys (including myself) can be clueless. I think direct is the way to go. Game playing leads to so much confusion, misunderstanding, and hurt.

    What he said, if someone plays games with me I play them right back 10x worse and we don't even end up going out. I hate the idea that someone would ignore me just to play with my head, why would you do that if you liked me?! Yeah play hard to get and say you're busy but don't totally ignore me or something?!
  • ShandiH
    ShandiH Posts: 232 Member
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    Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

    So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

    Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

    My opinion, move on to someone else. You confessed. She said 'thanks, but no thanks." Time to move on.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?

    I've been married over a decade and my wife and I both text and hang out with members of the opposite sex regularly (and with fidelity). I would think the only people that type of thing would bother are those whose relationships aren't very solid or trusting in the first place.
  • sruffin9834
    sruffin9834 Posts: 80
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    Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

    So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

    Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

    It would be best to let it go man. You have told her how you feel, the ball is in her court! If you want her to still be in your life even though she doesn't want to be with you that's fine, but don't create a problem by pushing up on her all the time. That will do nothing but drive her a way and/or cause her fiance to have issues with you.

    SR
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    Don't try to manipulate him.

    This. You're an adult. Handle it like one. :flowerforyou:
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Don't play games. Be direct and if he likes you, he likes you.
  • Switty_Kitty
    Switty_Kitty Posts: 538 Member
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    Sorry....I'm not a guy. But I am a woman...and if a woman has an opinion, do we keep out mouths shut? Lol Not often.
    Anyway.....men don't take subtle cues or clues. Ignoring will tell him "ok...she's. It interested. On to the next prospect." you have to let a guy know or they just don't get it. Well....most anyway.
  • djsysstem
    djsysstem Posts: 115 Member
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    Thanks :) Very good point!
    Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

    So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

    Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

    It would be best to let it go man. You have told her how you feel, the ball is in her court! If you want her to still be in your life even though she doesn't want to be with you that's fine, but don't create a problem by pushing up on her all the time. That will do nothing but drive her a way and/or cause her fiance to have issues with you.

    SR
  • KatieJane83
    KatieJane83 Posts: 2,002 Member
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    Everyone's different, of course, but I'd say it depends on age and maturity level. Directness without neediness is generally appreciated in adulthood.

    ^^this. I'm looking for a man, not a boy, so I'm going to act like an adult and treat him like an adult.

    It comes down to what you want/how you want to be treated. Do you like the game playing? Are you looking for it to continue? Then by all means play the game. If you don't like the game playing then refuse to do it. I'm a firm believer in treating others the way you want to be treated. The way they respond to your actions will help you determine if they're really worth your time and effort.
  • Deka61
    Deka61 Posts: 74
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    Just tell him you like him, and even ask him out. It is such a turn on to have a girl being direct in that way. Playing games can end up with both parties losing out. Games are great in the playground, but not as you get older. For a lot of us there are so many "teasers" out there that love to flirt, love the attention, but thats all. I ignore them now. I know that if a girl really likes me, it will be obvious.
  • turningstar
    turningstar Posts: 393 Member
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    To the op....

    I admit I skipped a few pages. If you like him and he knows it, and im assuming he likes you back, why don't YOU just make a move? Guys hate rejection (and rightly so. We women are tough to deal with), so he might be worried you would respond with the old " I like you as a friend" comment. Games belong on boards or in grade school, NOT relationships.

    Of course, I could be completely wrong. I married the only guy to ever show interest in me...:ohwell:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    So need some guy advice. A lot of my friends are telling me to ignore the guy I like to give him the option to "chase" me. Is this good advice or as ridiculous as it sounds. lol. If I ignore him, will he not lose interest?

    Ridiculous. Relationships work best when there is a good flow to them. Immature games inhibit that flow. Be real with one another. :)
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
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    Say what you mean, Mean what you say! I don't like games in relationships, its not a good start. Good Luck!
  • Princessbrene
    Princessbrene Posts: 112 Member
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    Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

    So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

    Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

    Move on, and have more respect for boundaries when someone is already in a committed relationship. Just think about if she had been your fiance'. Would you want another guy treating her and interacting with her the way that you were? Not to mention, if she has been making you feel that she's interested while she is committed to someone else, how will you be able to trust that she won't behave the same with you?
  • sjmgde
    sjmgde Posts: 381 Member
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    Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

    So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

    Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

    Move on, and have more respect for boundaries when someone is already in a committed relationship. Just think about if she had been your fiance'. Would you want another guy treating her and interacting with her the way that you were? Not to mention, if she has been making you feel that she's interested while she is committed to someone else, how will you be able to trust that she won't behave the same with you?
    Well put i thought the same thing. And not to mention what kind of character do you have that you have no respect for people and their relationships. If a female is doing that while in a relationship tell her to make her house right before building a new one. Not cool on both ends. she lead you on and panicked when you told her how you felt. Next time stick with free available women and stay away from this female.
  • puggleperson
    puggleperson Posts: 740 Member
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    People always want what they think they can't have. It's human nature. I wouldn't suggest ignoring him but playing hard to get certainly will keep the chase on. If he's really into you.

    This makes the most sense to me and I have talked tomany men who feel the same way... and you know what, I too like a chase.. I'm not goign to lie.. it works both ways, if a guy comes on too strong then I am usually turned off but if I have to work at it a littl it drives me wild... and keeps me thinking about him, even if I am super annoyed that he hasn't called :)

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