Were you ever bullied in school for being overweight? How di

PhatAndy

I was bullied until I quit in the 9th grade, I never remember going home and crying about it because I knew my family and friends were the ones that really mattered but it did hurt. I fell into depression over the summer after 8th grade, and we moved from NJ to FL and I tried school and just couldn't do it, so I dropped out and spent the next few years in a fog of manic depression. I still battle with depression, I don't think being overweight caused it, but it sure hasn't helped.

Im sorry for your struggle!! hope it gets better for you.

PhatAndy

School was hell for me--I went from being a "normal" sized child to being drastically overweight in the space of one year. I was eight. The taunting and abuse (even from overweight boys--how does that work?) was devastating. By junior high, the bullying was so bad I turned it around and became the "tough girl" who bullied the bullies. That's right, I was the girl who knocked the daylights out of the kids who tortured the other kids. I was still a mess inside, but I came across as funny, strong, and self-confident. Well, and violent--I went through 8 junior highs in a year-and-a-half, most of the expulsions and suspensions due to fighting.

Even my parents took part. My dad handed me a fork, said he was going to drop me off at the city dump for dinner, and made snorting noises. My mother? I was invisible.

By high school, I was done--I sat on my mom's bed with her .38 in my hand for hours, trying to work up the courage to end me. I finally made a deal with myself--I would be "thin" in 6 months or I'd kill myself. Isn't that horrible? I was 15 years old, and ready to end it because people are so rejecting and cruel.

I stopped eating at that point. Began exercising obsessively. I went from 235 lbs to 105 in 6 months. My periods stopped, my gums bled, my hair thinned, but I was no longer a size 20. I was a baggy size one. And those same creeps who treated me so poorly started asking me out. Most of them didn't even realize I was the same girl they'd barked insults at, pointing and laughing. No, I didn't date any of them. By then my father was out of the picture, but my mother fell in love with me. Ribs sticking out, vertebrae protruding, and suddenly she could see me again. I became her Barbie Doll, her clothes hanger, and she took me to all the fancy places to dress me. Yeah, the message was loud and clear.

I kept the weight off for 8 years, but that was 8 years of really unhealthy diet, a lot of starving, bingeing, and starving again. And when the weight came back, it came back hard, fast, and a lot more than I even imagined possible.

I have to say that the bullying didn't stop with high school. College professors who treated me differently heavy than slim, fellow college students who nudged each other and snickered as I walked by. Prospective employers who were so positive and upbeat on the phone but lost all interest in hiring me once they saw how big I was. Teenagers (and grown men) following me through stores making hateful cracks or snorting like pigs. Groups of teenage girls breaking into peals of laughter after looking at me, once even pleading with each other to "please kill me if I ever look like that."

School was just the start. It's where we train kids to grow up to devastate their peers throughout life.

Kris

Your story was inspirational, and your weight loss is even more, thank you for sharing this!

PhatAndy

That's awful I just want to hug you!
When I was in 10th grade there was a group of girls who were always really mean to me. They made fun of me everyday.
They would moo at me when I walked by, once they stuck their foot out so I would trip and they yelled "TIMBER" as I fell on my face. I hated them. One day at the end of the day when everyone was around I went to open my locker and out pours twinkies, little debbie cakes, and oversized undies. I was humiliated.

Funny thing is, two of those girls are now in jail for production and sale of meth. Karma's a B!

Ah sweet karma

PhatAndy

Wasn't bullied too badly- only by a couple specific people, but i was an outcast until the summer before senior year.
Freshman year: got a skateboard swung at my face because i was "already ugly anyways and it might fix me"
sophmore: got my braces- god that was fun
junior: ditched by my date as a joke on homecoming
summer between junior and senior year: got cut (lost 35 pounds), grew my hair out long(i'd had it cut like a "rockers" short in back, long up front and dyed red purple- went blonde), braces off, lost the acne, changed how i dressed and held myself
senior year and beyond: hottie-with-a-body who has a complete hatered of bullies (completely the one to call people out on being an *kitten*)
Now? 3 years later? I haven't been to my hometown for more than a week since I graduated. Usually people don't recognize me
***all of these are the reasons for my obsession with the poem invictus***

What an awful expirience, has this changed you at all? your mind how you think? Do you have compassion for others are you sensitive towards it?

I'm now EXTREMELY guarded when first meeting people. I can even come off as abrasive or just really quiet- i honestly had never even had a boyfriend until 4 months ago (took me along time to get over that people weren't talking to me or saying things in a secretly teasing way like the homecoming experience). It definitely left some wounds. My boyfriend says trying to get me on a date was like coaxing an baby animal (yeah- not a fan of the comparison) because he had to be so careful.

I'm also very very very defensive of people, especially girls, who talk badly about themselves or each other- i am always complimenting (sincerely) my friends and the people i'm closest to

I hear you on the defensive part, i struggle with it bigtime. see the negative in things and take things as an insult when they arent

And what do you do to cope? has knowing/recognizing this about yourself changed the way you try to interact with people?

Yes!! Being aware of the problem helps. I struggle with it on a daily basis but over the last year I have grown a lot. Being a chef at a bible camp on an island for 3 months played a big part in it.

PhatAndy

Middle school was my worst. I thinned out a bit in High school so it wasn't bad. There was a kid in my middle school who used to TORMENT me. He'd put "Wide Load" stickers on my back pack, tell everyone to run for cover from the earthquake when I'd walk by, etc. Awful.

How has this affected you to this day? How is your personality? great weight loss btw

PhatAndy

For me, I was bullied starting in about 3rd grade until high school. Thankfully, after middle school, I ended up going to a different high school than most of my peers that bullied me, so it tapered off other than a few instances. However, the fact that the bullying often had to do with my weight spiraled me into a world of disordered eating. Going into high school, I finally became proportionate in my body through my height, but a lot of my weightloss was contributed to the disordered eating. I can even remember once when a kid in my high school math class came up to me and told me how much better I looked than middle school, and I really didn't know what to say due to the fact that I know I wasn't getting results in a healthy manner. But in middle school, girls would harass me in the locker room by saying things like I could only wish I had their body or that no guy would ever like a fatass. After awhile, prank phone calls started happening where guys would pretend to like me and then would call me out the next day in front of groups to basically make fun of me. To this day, I still can't dress in front of people or wear a swim suit. On my vacation to Japan a couple years back, I refused to go swimming because of this.

Unfortunately, even now being a senior in college, I still suffer self-confidence issues. Ultimately, my fiance split up with me due to my depression and disordered eating problems. But I don't regret this at all, because it finally pushed me to get the help that I needed. So even to this day, I go to therapy sessions with both a psychologist and psychiatrist to work on this problems ultimately caused by bullying early on in life.

THings will get better, there is a light at the end of the tunnel I promise.

ojell

I was not. I didn't develop weight issues until after my second child. A couple of my friends did tho, and although it wasn't like an EXTREME case of it...it was often enough and mean enough to really hurt them! Thing is...ONE TIME is TOO MUCH!!!!!!!

I think what I hate most is when people go through that for so long that they just accept it and kind of start to joke and criticize themselves to make it ok or something. It shouldn't be that way! I KNOW it hurts! There's even a local radio personality that struggles with weight, and I hear the others on the show make comments and he'll even jump in and make jokes BUT even through the RADIO I can hear and feel his pain.

I had a lil cuz that does the same thing. I mean I guess maybe it's just a way that he makes it not hurt so much (AT THAT MOMENT)...but I know deep down it does.

(((HUGS)))) to anyone who has ever been bullied or made fun of!!!!!!!!

PhatAndy

I was not. I didn't develop weight issues until after my second child. A couple of my friends did tho, and although it wasn't like an EXTREME case of it...it was often enough and mean enough to really hurt them! Thing is...ONE TIME is TOO MUCH!!!!!!!

I think what I hate most is when people go through that for so long that they just accept it and kind of start to joke and criticize themselves to make it ok or something. It shouldn't be that way! I KNOW it hurts! There's even a local radio personality that struggles with weight, and I hear the others on the show make comments and he'll even jump in and make jokes BUT even through the RADIO I can hear and feel his pain.

I had a lil cuz that does the same thing. I mean I guess maybe it's just a way that he makes it not hurt so much (AT THAT MOMENT)...but I know deep down it does.

(((HUGS)))) to anyone who has ever been bullied or made fun of!!!!!!!!

I was one of those people until 22 days ago. I used to agree, I am a fat ugly piece of **** that shuts down the "Say somthing nice about the person above you thread" on this forum because im so disgustingly hideous. but now Ive gained confidence due to losing weight!

ShandiH

I used to get bullied at home by my older brother a lot for being overweight. Not one week in my childhood can I remember not being harassed. He would humiliate me and make me feel worthless by beating me up and telling me I should be able to defend myself. Yet instead of teaching me, he'd be someone I'd have to defend myself against.

In primary school, it was all emotional bullying - never physical. I wouldn't have a lot of friends and the ones I did have would play games like "let's run away from him!" and because I was overweight, I could never keep up. That kind of scars me to this day because at times I can't help but feel like I'm running towards friendships that I'll never get close to.

In high school, I was always pushed from one group of friends to another because I wasn't confident enough to make enough jokes and be as popular as others. I lost a lot of good friendships this way. The lack of confidence was a result of me feeling inadequate due to being overweight.

I've gained a lot of weight since being a kid, but finally... I'm losing it! I'm halfway and... all of that stuff in the past that used to control me now is nothing but a memory that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The experiences hardened me into a very sensitive person who is a fierce friend to those I am close to. So I thank every single experience in my past for the person I've become.

I once heard a saying that "Only though hardship can true humility be attained. It's this knowledge that enriches life".

People don't understand the value of a smile or a pat on the back until they truly understand what its like to be deprived from it.

Oh yeah, and another one - "Even in the darkest storms, the sun is still shining behind them waiting for the time to shine".

Thank you so much for sharing this. you dont know how much your life sounds like mine. I actually developed a mental illness that I am now on disability for called borderline personality disorder.. I fear conflict more than anything in life.. My worst habbit is preservation of friendships. When i fear a friendship is about to fail I will completely cut off contact with that person isolating myself from them and the world because if they cant tell me they have a problem with me and dont want to be friends then we can continue to be friends....

Do either of you have any tips I can use to help my husband? He was bullied by his older brother and all his parents would ever say was, "You need to be the peacemaker." I don't believe he's overcome it just yet. There's much to say about those who can be the peacemaker but there comes a point when you just can't be the peacemaker anymore. Ya know?

PhatAndy

I used to get bullied at home by my older brother a lot for being overweight. Not one week in my childhood can I remember not being harassed. He would humiliate me and make me feel worthless by beating me up and telling me I should be able to defend myself. Yet instead of teaching me, he'd be someone I'd have to defend myself against.

In primary school, it was all emotional bullying - never physical. I wouldn't have a lot of friends and the ones I did have would play games like "let's run away from him!" and because I was overweight, I could never keep up. That kind of scars me to this day because at times I can't help but feel like I'm running towards friendships that I'll never get close to.

In high school, I was always pushed from one group of friends to another because I wasn't confident enough to make enough jokes and be as popular as others. I lost a lot of good friendships this way. The lack of confidence was a result of me feeling inadequate due to being overweight.

I've gained a lot of weight since being a kid, but finally... I'm losing it! I'm halfway and... all of that stuff in the past that used to control me now is nothing but a memory that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The experiences hardened me into a very sensitive person who is a fierce friend to those I am close to. So I thank every single experience in my past for the person I've become.

I once heard a saying that "Only though hardship can true humility be attained. It's this knowledge that enriches life".

People don't understand the value of a smile or a pat on the back until they truly understand what its like to be deprived from it.

Oh yeah, and another one - "Even in the darkest storms, the sun is still shining behind them waiting for the time to shine".

Thank you so much for sharing this. you dont know how much your life sounds like mine. I actually developed a mental illness that I am now on disability for called borderline personality disorder.. I fear conflict more than anything in life.. My worst habbit is preservation of friendships. When i fear a friendship is about to fail I will completely cut off contact with that person isolating myself from them and the world because if they cant tell me they have a problem with me and dont want to be friends then we can continue to be friends....

Do either of you have any tips I can use to help my husband? He was bullied by his older brother and all his parents would ever say was, "You need to be the peacemaker." I don't believe he's overcome it just yet. There's much to say about those who can be the peacemaker but there comes a point when you just can't be the peacemaker anymore. Ya know?

My tip would be to find something that he is proud of that he can accomplish and feel good about, the more of those he will have the better he will feel about himself. mine is this weight loss journey, I felt like that my entire life until I committed to this! Im not sure if he is trying to lose weight but maybe some kind of project?

sheels9

As soon as I read this I thought, "this sounds just like my boyfriend!" I thought I'd had it bad until he told me stories just like yours from his childhood.

For me, I was overweight starting in about 5th grade and I gradually gained every year until I hit my top weight in Jan. I remember kids, in middle school especially, make fun of me for being fat and for having acne. Now I teach 8th grade and as crazy as the kids make me sometimes, I have to admit that part of my motivation for teaching middle school is hoping that I can make that time of their lives even just a little bit easier.

But like a lot of other people on here mentioned,. no one was worse than my family. My mom still to this day makes comments about my "gut". As a kid she'd buy flavors ice cream I didn't like just so I wouldn't eat it and chastise me for taking seconds at dinner. My dad was super athletic and constantly pushed me to play sports. I still remember the disappointment on his face when I told him I quit basketball. (One of the reasons was because the girls on the team were so mean). The funny thing is that when I look back at pictures from middle school all I think is, "wow, wish I was that size." I guess they were afraid of how big I'd become. Most likely all of their "well meaning" comments helped me get to this size.

Hope you're proud of who you've become despite that awful torment.

PhatAndy

As soon as I read this I thought, "this sounds just like my boyfriend!" I thought I'd had it bad until he told me stories just like yours from his childhood.

For me, I was overweight starting in about 5th grade and I gradually gained every year until I hit my top weight in Jan. I remember kids, in middle school especially, make fun of me for being fat and for having acne. Now I teach 8th grade and as crazy as the kids make me sometimes, I have to admit that part of my motivation for teaching middle school is hoping that I can make that time of their lives even just a little bit easier.

But like a lot of other people on here mentioned,. no one was worse than my family. My mom still to this day makes comments about my "gut". As a kid she'd buy flavors ice cream I didn't like just so I wouldn't eat it and chastise me for taking seconds at dinner. My dad was super athletic and constantly pushed me to play sports. I still remember the disappointment on his face when I told him I quit basketball. (One of the reasons was because the girls on the team were so mean). The funny thing is that when I look back at pictures from middle school all I think is, "wow, wish I was that size." I guess they were afraid of how big I'd become. Most likely all of their "well meaning" comments helped me get to this size.

Hope you're proud of who you've become despite that awful torment.

Great story Sheels! I am very proud of who I am and what ive become, weight or not

kelceyjean12011

i was bullied in middle school alot...i was chubby and "gothic" had black hair, piercings and wore black tshirts..i didnt consider myself goith but whatever. a vivid memory was these two boys followed me the whole way home and kept yelling things at me. i have been thru alot of therapy and dark times because of it...kids are SO cruel. i also remember sitting at lunch with my friend, and there was a bunch of boys who sat at the end of the table..and i told my friend, "oh i know what i want to be for halloween" and this kid looked over at me and said "what? skinny?" i cried the rest of the day

PhatAndy

i was bullied in middle school alot...i was chubby and "gothic" had black hair, piercings and wore black tshirts..i didnt consider myself goith but whatever. a vivid memory was these two boys followed me the whole way home and kept yelling things at me. i have been thru alot of therapy and dark times because of it...kids are SO cruel. i also remember sitting at lunch with my friend, and there was a bunch of boys who sat at the end of the table..and i told my friend, "oh i know what i want to be for halloween" and this kid looked over at me and said "what? skinny?" i cried the rest of the day

Good lord, some people can be incredibly cruel.

livetolove24

I started to get heavy around age 10 or so and I think I was in 3rd grade. The bullying wasn't too bad then, but by 5th grade I was made fun of and laughed at for being bigger than all the other girls..I had a few friends and never allowed myself to be physically bullied, but the mental and emotional bullying sucked. Girls were sooo mean. I found they were ten times meaner than the boys were usually. It was awful and hard and by 9th grade swim class, it overtook me and I demanded to be home schooled or lose myself completely so I left the world of public school. Kids need to be nice to everyone and nothing hurts me more than to see children or teens being picked on or bullied. It's so sad!

PhatAndy

I started to get heavy around age 10 or so and I think I was in 3rd grade. The bullying wasn't too bad then, but by 5th grade I was made fun of and laughed at for being bigger than all the other girls..I had a few friends and never allowed myself to be physically bullied, but the mental and emotional bullying sucked. Girls were sooo mean. I found they were ten times meaner than the boys were usually. It was awful and hard and by 9th grade swim class, it overtook me and I demanded to be home schooled or lose myself completely so I left the world of public school. Kids need to be nice to everyone and nothing hurts me more than to see children or teens being picked on or bullied. It's so sad!

How have you grown? has your personality been affected?

LilBee82

I used to be a scrawny runt up until grade 3. I was bullied before I ever put any weight on. I had girls in my class, who used to be my friends, follow me home and call me names. Push me in the snow then grab handfuls of snow and rub it in my face.

I had a reading buddy when I was in grade 2 and he would follow me to school and home, throwing snowballs at me, throwing leaves on me, spitting on me as he biked by. One day at recess, he kicked me in the face and right at that moment his teacher had come around the corner and saw the whole thing. And they had no idea he had been bullying me until then. After that he never bothered me again. Plus I had an older brother who chased him home one day when he saw him following me home and harassing me.

In junior high I was teased all the time, then finally one day I snapped and yelled at all of them. Wasn't bothered for a good while.

Then finally after grade 7, I dropped out.

I tried going back to school several times, but then I had no interest. And now I am trying to get my GED and I'm 29.

The biggest I got to was 330. And it wasn't till 4 years ago I started losing weight and it wasn't even on purpose. I just got more active. And the last few years I have been trying to be healthier. And I feel like this is my year, for getting my life together and my health.

kasicrawford

I was also bullied as a teenager!! It was my Senior yr in highschool and my ex started mooing and calling me a cow!! He had the entire school (boys) doing it!!! I was only 125 lbs 5'3 - but I was prob the chubbiest of all the girls in my class... This went on for over 6 months! I still can't stand the sound of cows mooing!!!! Now I would DIE to be 125 lbs!!!!!!!

laineylynnfit

I was bullied in elementary school. A group of kids got in a circle and sang "'My Name' got the whole world in her stomach" --- it's funny to me now but at that age.. it hurt! There was also this guy in jr. high who would sit at a cafeteria table facing me and would look at me the whole time I was eating lunch and laugh/smile .. and it wasn't because he liked me. He was mocking me. Very cruel...especially coming from a guy at that age!

Salexan13

I was picked on from 3rd grade until 9th grade for being fat. I found that high schoolers were more accepting. But my uncle and grandmother really picked on me growing up and even today. When I was 18 I gained a ton of weight and I hated going around my granny because she would always have something negative to say but little did she know I was actually pregnant! Now I way 142 and I'm too skinny to her now Smh