Dear...

ishallnotwant

Dear Teenagers I Take to the Gym,

I think it's *wonderful* that you can hold a full conversation while walking on your hands at 12.0 mph on the highest incline on the treadmill without breaking a sweat. I, however, am old. I am out of shape. I have asthma and a heart murmur. PLEASE stop trying to have conversations with me while i'm huffing away at just 3.0 miles per hour...I simply can't do it.

With Love,

Neighborhood Mom

P.S. Putting the treadmill on .5 miles per hour and then doing a jig sideways while laughing at me because I can't go fast enough was funny, but not very appreciated as I almost fell off the treadmill while laughing. I'm obviously not as coordinated as you all are.


Is there someone in your life you'd like to write a letter to today?

1Timothy4v8

Dear beloved step daughters

Please stop asking me things while doing Zumba, I am very embarrassed by my husky reply as I try to get a breath in lol

(or is that your brilliant plan to mess me up and have a lower score? hhhmmmmmm!)

becoming_a_new_me

Dear beautiful pre-teen daughter,

I know I dance like an old lady...I AM an old lady...and yes, I know that my bat wings jiggle when I dance too. Again...I am old. Also, rolling on the floor laughing at me while I dance like a loon to burn precious calories will only result in me making a video, posting it to You Tube, and then emailing it to all of your friends. I will especially make this video when you are laughing so hard that you start farting uncontrollably which makes you laugh even harder still until I can't stop laughing and you ruined my workout.

Love,

Mom

P.S. - Ramen noodles are not food and no you cannot have them for dinner tonight

1Timothy4v8

Dear beautiful pre-teen daughter,

I know I dance like an old lady...I AM an old lady...and yes, I know that my bat wings jiggle when I dance too. Again...I am old. Also, rolling on the floor laughing at me while I dance like a loon to burn precious calories will only result in me making a video, posting it to You Tube, and then emailing it to all of your friends. I will especially make this video when you are laughing so hard that you start farting uncontrollably which makes you laugh even harder still until I can't stop laughing and you ruined my workout.

Love,

Mom

P.S. - Ramen noodles are not food and no you cannot have them for dinner tonight

lol you can always threaten to volenter at her schools play and fo a little dance part in it =D

PinkEarthMama

Dear Teenagers AT the gym :

I am well aware that I got the cross ramp with the working TV AND captioning. Yes, I fully understand that you are bored because you can't figure out how to work your TV. NO, you cannot shout to your friends four machines away THE ENTIRE TIME.

THANKS!

Dear children :

No more freaking snacks before dinner. SCREW OFF.

Dear tweens at the gym :

REALLY? YOu wanna get RIPPED? You wanna lift? Really? really really? Then DO IT. And no your hair doesn't look like Justin Beibers. You just look like you need a haircut.

sweetinked

Dear Cat,

I realize it is EXTREMELY interesting that I am on the exercise bike but that doesn't mean you can try to rub on my feet while I'm going 15mph. Accidents happen my furry friend. Leave me alone!

Spinelli2288

Dear Aiden, (my boyfriends 7 year old son)

Thank you for telling me that you think I'm beautiful no matter how much weight I lose. You're an amazing kid and you don't even know it. You have such a kind and loving heart. You see the world as a big place full of adventure and fast cars, I envy you sometimes, but I enjoy seeing you so excited when you learn something new. You're polite, responsible, chivalrous, intelligent, and most of all, you're special to me. I know you want a brother or a sister out of your dad and I, but truthfully, I am perfectly happy to only have you. I may not be your biological mom, but I'll come as close as I can. I love you Aiden.

Rawr (means I love you in dinosaur),
Your Ashley

janehen12

Ashley that one was lovely!


Dear flat number 2, yes I mean you 'techno techno techno dean"

TURN THE DAM THING OFF. i can hear you, one floor up and across the building.
I will go metal on your *kitten* if you don't fix it.

Love number 3


I wish i had the balls to say that and get him to stop that dam THUD THUD THUD with the odd rediculous effect, but I dont like conflict.

ReverendJim

Dear MPF friends:

You are trying to "lose" weight, not "loose" weight.

Best regards,
Jim

sc1572

Dear Physics Professor,

Thank you SO much for making our first test of the semester on a Friday!

Sincerely,

Sleepy Studying Student

sc1572

Dear MPF friends:

You are trying to "lose" weight, not "loose" weight.

Best regards,
Jim

^YES

netchik

Dear Boss,

Whilst I love to hear about your "weekly" exercise session with your PT (the only exercise you do), please forgive me if I don't hang onto your every word about nutrition (and how I'm doing it wrong) while you force feed yourselves donuts and chocolate.

Sincerely, the girl who won't discuss anything with you until you stop your one-upmanship

BeautyFromPain

Dear John (my so called best friend and crush/used to be crush),

I thought you were a nice guy. Until it came to today. I understand you like to speak your mind, but when I confided in you about my last attempts I did NOT expect you to tell me that maybe I should have tried harder and to try harder next time so you would not have to see my face anymore... not that there is gonna be a next time, but... That's just down right nasty

Ellie.

grimmaster1983

Dear Jillian Michaels

why are you so mean to me...

yours Shaun x

lindalee0315

Dear beautiful pre-teen daughter,
Also, rolling on the floor laughing at me while I dance like a loon to burn precious calories will only result in me making a video, posting it to You Tube, and then emailing it to all of your friends. I will especially make this video when you are laughing so hard that you start farting uncontrollably which makes you laugh even harder still until I can't stop laughing and you ruined my workout.

Love this!

Lanna74

Dear Sons,

If it's my coveted exercise time then the answer to everything is no, so don't interrupt me. (Love you!)

Dear Dogs,

Please don't use me as a pillow when I'm trying to do my crunches. Just because I'm on the floor doesn't mean I'm at your disposal.

Thanks!!

MaximalLife

Dear Frank,
Where were you yesterday? Thursday was payday - right?
We miss you so much.
Joey will explain further when he pays you a visit today.

I am looking forward to seeing you....

XXXMinnieXXX

Hey zara! (That's me):

I know things are tough right now but kick yourself up the *kitten* and get back on track! Your only hurting youself in the long run! This binging is stupid! You freaking idiot! Ha ha.

Zara,

Today IS a new start x

tnorth82

Dear sales girl on the reception desk...


for the 120th time, NO I do not use sun tan beds, please stop asking me if I am interested in the latest offers. You asked me every day this week and the answer was the same each day!

Thanks
Pale and Interesting

Psyb3r

Dear MPF friends:

You are trying to "lose" weight, not "loose" weight.

Best regards,
Jim

I love this!!! :laugh:

Kristy1214

Dear Aiden, (my boyfriends 7 year old son)

Thank you for telling me that you think I'm beautiful no matter how much weight I loose. You're an amazing kid and you don't even know it. You have such a kind and loving heart. You see the world as a big place full of adventure and fast cars, I envy you sometimes, but I enjoy seeing you so excited when you learn something new. You're polite, responsible, chivalrous, intelligent, and most of all, you're special to me. I know you want a brother or a sister out of your dad and I, but truthfully, I am perfectly happy to only have you. I may not be your biological mom, but I'll come as close as I can. I love you Aiden.

Rawr (means I love you in dinosaur),
Your Ashley

Aww