50+ Women for the Month of April

dricotta1

Mornin' all,

Great to read all the posts. It is a difficult thing to balance relationships with adult children. I lost my son a year ago this Sunday, so would be happy to have any relationship:sad: My daughter and I have worked hard at our relationship and I think it works pretty well, but it did take work and negotiation.

Been exercising regularly and watching food, but I still am stuck and ready to throw that blessed scale against the wall to see if I can get it to change. Later, Diane

Grammymax

Good morning all. Wow - April is almost over! I can't believe it!

Barbie: We had a 1999 Mallard and have upgraded to a 2006 Outback. This will be our final RV purchase and it should last us through our traveling years. We kind of have a trip to Arizona (well, in our heads only so far) in the fall to see some of our children. It will be nicer with this trailer I think because it has a slide out and the other one didn't. Of course, we have our little four legged kid who will go with us:laugh:

Diane :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I have been there with the scale. And mine DOES get stuck so I have my hubby step on it if I don't see any change. Of course, then he says, "Oh, I lost a couple pounds!" :grumble: Like he needs to!

Susan: You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Off to workout. Tomorrow I weigh in and I hop that if not a lot of pounds maybe a few inches will be gone!

Have a great day,
Esther

Grammymax

oops - that is I HOPE - not I hop ( although that would be more calories burned if I hopped) :laugh:

plantlady99

Last night had to be the worst night of my life.

I was driving home from my sons. I noticed three dirt bikes a few cars behind me. I noticed them because one of my grand sons has a dirt bike. Well as I was making a left turn I heard one of the dirt bikes rev up his motorbike. While I was turning, I looked in my side mirror the motorbike was doing a wheelie heading straight towards me on my left side as I was making the turn. He hit my truck. I stopped immediately. When got out of the truck. The bike was down on the road. He then picked up his bike and tried to leave the scene of the accident by pushing his bike towards railroad tracks. A lady who saw the accident said he went under my rear tire. I was so upset you can not believe. The police and ambulance came. I stayed with my truck while the police were talking to him. I was in total shock. They convinced him to go to the hospital. I just can't believe what happened. The police said it was not my fault. The young man was totally at fault. All I can think of, he was so into making his wheelie that he did not see I was making a left turn. He just wanted to pass on the cars. It is just a terrible thing to go through even when its not my fault.

I hope you can understand what I typed my hands are still shaking.

I am so sick I just can't eat or think.

So that is my mess of the day.

Kathy

Benson

Morning all

Dricotta - my thoughts go out to you as you approach this sad anniversary

About our changing relationships with our sons, I have a story - not sad but still a sign of things to come: I noticed he had the movie 27 dresses on his X box. We were going to watch a movie on a rare occasion when he left his room to be with the family in the living room. I chose that one - He said 'Definately not. Mom the rules have changed. It's a chick flick and I'm only going to watch it once and it isn't going to be with you!" So slightly wounded, I realized that he had downloaded it for his girlfriend - not his Mommy!! Although I know its a natural progression, I can't imagine the day they leave home.

I am not looking forward to Mother's day this year either. It would have also been my mom's 80 birthday and my heart hurts that she is gone. I still have a mother in law and of course I am a mother so it will be a great day with a sadness I will keep quietly to myself. My husband understands my pain to a point but feels because its been over 2 yrs, I should be over it. He has never suffered a loss - except for mine and I hope he doesn't have to for a long time to come.

On a happy note: I did 35 minutes of Richard Simmons - Super Sweatin' last night ( 8 min longer than Sunday) AND a 60 minute brisk walk outside. I felt wonderful, although a bit sore. I burned 541 calories

I'm beginning to believe that I can definately do this.

Today I will
Drink my water
eat mindfully and within my planned food
walk for at least 30 minutes - If I can squeeze it in - I have a gr 8 grad mtg this evening. - my baby is going to high school in September:sad:

Have a great day

Heather

dricotta1

back again
Kathy...so sorry about the kid who ran into your truck!! And yes the shock makes you shake for hours. Be nice to yourself today and a little exercise might actually help you calm down and work all those stress hormones out.

Heather...isn't it hard when you realize that you are no longer the #1 in their lives. Be brave.:bigsmile: And I'm sorry you will be missing your Mom. We're at an age (I'm afraid) where we are beginning to lose the preceding generation. That makes us the oldest! Help! That's why I'm determined to get healthier:happy: :happy:
Good Wednesday, Diane

elli

oh Kathy - what a BUMMER! I'm so sorry that happened to you.:frown: Thank GOD the kid is all right. Try and relax and BREATHE and know that this was NOT your fault!

Thanks again ladies - for the talk about our grown kids moving on. Susan - our situation has a lot of similarities. My son got stationed in CO Spgs after his 1st deployment so he could be closer to home. His girlfriend came with him and they moved in together. The good news is i LOVE her. They got married and no one knew for 6 months. Same kind of thing - because he was only an E4 at the time he wasn't supposed to live off post (and they already were) unless he was married...........Also we used to talk several times daily and now it's a few times a week......it's just hard - but it's all right. I know it's the way it's supposed to be. My younger boy (i just have the 2) and his girlfriend have been living together (i adore her as well - call her my "undaughter in law") for 2 years now - they've BEEN together for 5. So that transition has been slower and hasn't seemed as drastic or painful.

I'm just not thinking about Mother's Day - actually my dil mentioned something about maybe meeting halfway in between (that would be Denver) so that would be good. My Mom and i hadn't lived close to one another since i was 18 so Mother's Day was always long distance for us.........i miss her more during my "crises" times.

Heather - 541 calories?!?!?!? That's WONDERFUL! Of COURSE you can do this! You've already come such a long way! High School was a really fun time! Don't focus on her almost being gone - just enjoy the ride! Graduation day will come soon enough - THEN you can freak out!

Esther - your trip to AZ in the new camper sounds like a blast!

Hope everyone's having a great day. Kathy - hope you're starting to feel more yourself.......take care of you ok? elli

AHealthierSuzyQ

With all this talk of Mother's Day I thought I'd share what my son wrote in my card last year... An old Irish saying he found somewhere that really touched my heart...

"A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his Mother the longest."

So ladies, in the end we have the most love from our sons!

weaklink109

Last night had to be the worst night of my life.

I was driving home from my sons. I noticed three dirt bikes a few cars behind me. I noticed them because one of my grand sons has a dirt bike. Well as I was making a left turn I heard one of the dirt bikes rev up his motorbike. While I was turning, I looked in my side mirror the motorbike was doing a wheelie heading straight towards me on my left side as I was making the turn. He hit my truck. I stopped immediately. When got out of the truck. The bike was down on the road. He then picked up his bike and tried to leave the scene of the accident by pushing his bike towards railroad tracks. A lady who saw the accident said he went under my rear tire. I was so upset you can not believe. The police and ambulance came. I stayed with my truck while the police were talking to him. I was in total shock. They convinced him to go to the hospital. I just can't believe what happened. The police said it was not my fault. The young man was totally at fault. All I can think of, he was so into making his wheelie that he did not see I was making a left turn. He just wanted to pass on the cars. It is just a terrible thing to go through even when its not my fault.

I hope you can understand what I typed my hands are still shaking.

I am so sick I just can't eat or think.

So that is my mess of the day.

Kathy

Kathy,
I can totally relate to this situation.

Four years this next October, I was getting ready to pull out of the driveway of the condo complex where I live and after looking both ways, I began to move forward, but stopped after a couple of inches because I has a sensation of seeing something out of the corner of my right eye, but then it wasn't there when I looked directly toward what I had seen.

THANK GOD I stopped, because when I did, I found a 10 year old boy--laying UNDERNEATH my SUV and tangled up in a bicycle!!! I didn't hit HIM. HE actually hit ME. According to witnesses, he was riding on the sidewalk and a high rate of speed. (He later told me he didn't see me in the driveway.) He couldn't stop so he ended up hitting the fender of my vehicle and sliding right underneath the front wheels. If I had continued to pull forward....well thank the Lord I didn't!

I was a basket case. The child's mother was very nice. She came to the accident scene and although she was understandably concerned for her son (who only had a bad case of embarassment from all the attention) , she was concerned about me as well.

To this day, I thank God things turned out as they did, and wonder how much different my life could be if it had ended differently. If you don't feel like yourself in a day or two, don't be afraid to see your doctor. There are mild presciptions that can make you feel more like yourself and if my experience is any indication, you won't need to take anything for more than a few days before you are more like your old self. me.

Just remember, YOU did nothing wrong. That young man made a conscious decision to perform a dumb and dangerous maneuver on a public road, and you were the unlucky person in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Take care of yourself!!!

Barb

AHealthierSuzyQ

Kathy, I'd still be shaking too if that happened to me. ((((Big HUG)))))

Today was one of those day it would have been VERY easy to not exercise. But I trudged on and FORCED myself to my strength training DVD anyway. I am able to put SO much more energy to it on Mondays! Wonder why that is.... I normally do it first thing after I pick up the house on M,W,F. Today I didn't get to it until after 3:oo p.m. Talk about timing, I was just finishing up when hubby popped by for a few minutes on the way to a job. That's one reason we bought this land; it is near where he works so he can pop in on the way to or from a job site easily.

Looking forward to seeing how everyone is doing on their goals tomorrow. I'm thinking ANY progress is progress though.

healthier4me

Hi everyone

Late checking in today because I had appointments in the city...one of which was the dentist...I had 4 old fillings taken out and new ones put in...so my mouth is a tad bit achy.

First of all I want to say a big THANKS to all of you that have made me feel so much better. Just knowing that you understand my situation and share in my pain has lifted my spirits immensely. I know that I am an eternal optimist and will still hold good thoughts on my son and his new wife but sometimes the load we must carry gets pretty heavy. I feel that you have helped me carry this load and I am ever so greatful. I do not ever want my son to not put his wife first and I would definitely want his loyalty to be to her...however I just wish that he could include us a little in his life.

A story about my son comes to mind...we were always extremely close (especially the years his sister was ill and subsequently passed away). Anyway when he was about 3 he would say, "Mommy, I am always going to love you" I would reply, "and I am always going to love you but someday you will find a special someone you will love just as much but in a different way". My son looked at me and said, "but Mom I will always love you more because I loved you first!" I would never want him to chose me over his wife I just want the son back that has forgotten how to love and respect his parents. That is what I hope and long for. I am patient and strongly believe in miracles and will take the blessings wherever I can:happy:

I totally understand how some of us could dread Mother's Day. My beautiful daughter was diagnosed on Mother's Day in 1991:brokenheart: . As easy as it would be to give into the sadness of it I just don't allow myself to. What I have learned from experiencing what I have is that I needed to focus on the wonderful years I had with her and all the joy she gave me and everyone she came in contact with in her limited lifetime. These feelings both sustain and comfort me and I get my strength and courage from her. My heart goes out to you that are in pain. Just know that I understand and send you big hugs

I am enjoying reading about the rv travels as well and look forward to all of our adventures. I know that I absolutely love our road trips and cannot believe how blessed we are to be able to do the things we do:bigsmile:

Hugs and the biggest warmest thanks to each and everyone of you:flowerforyou: You are such a wonderful supportive group.

Marie

P.S. I am glad to hear that you are ok Kathy...take care of yourself:flowerforyou:

barbiecat

Home from the dog park with tired dogs and tired feet.:bigsmile:

Kathy

---

I wish I could be with you and give you a big hug. What a scary thing. Stay in the moment and banish any guilt---it wasn’t your fault. There are people out there who do dumb stuff.

We are deep into our packing. We leave Monday morning as soon as we get everything ready.
Monday—Centralia, WA at an RV park with a fenced dog park
Tuesday----Canyonville, OR at another RV Park with a fenced dog park and an indoor pool
Wednesday, Thursday----Red Bluff, CA
Friday, Saturday----Vacaville, CA
Sunday, Monday----Garberville, CA----an RV park with a golf course for Jake
The next two weeks----Eureka, CA where our kids and grandkids live
Tuesday---Canyonville, OR
Wednesday----Centralia, WA
Thursday (May 28) ----HOME !!!!

Esther---we started RVing in a trailer without a slide. Our Golden Retriever was always in the way in front of the couch so when we were ready for something newer we got a 5th wheel with two slides. When we got the 2nd dog we were glad to have the extra space.

Zaza---we have never travelled with children (just dogs and cats). I know a lot of people who have travelled with their kids and they have loved it most of the time and had the usual clashes that families have in close quarters. Some friends of ours travelled to Alaska last summer and shared their 30 foot motorhome with another couple and had a fabulous time.

On the subject of scales and husbands---Jake has lost 55 pounds in the same time I’ve lost 27. He has reached his goal weight and now weighs 6 pounds less than I do. I’d like to blame the scale.

Heather---congrats on your great exercising. I know you can do this. When your baby graduates from high school they are going to think you are a slim older sister instead of the mom. Remember that everyone grieves differently. My mom has been gone since 1991 and every time I dance, I thank her for taking me to ballet when I was a child. Every time I have to write something I thank her for being such a great grammar and spelling coach.

Big hugs to all (((( )))))
Barbie

committed

Kathy,

I'm sorry to read about the accident. I'm very glad all are okay. I went through a similar accident years ago and I know it is very unsettling to say the least.

Finally getting to work in my garden. The tilling, raking and planting has really given me a work-out. All of the fresh vegetables will be worth the effort plus I'm burning calories. I haven't done so great with my food choices of late :sad: - only lost a half of a pound, but May is coming up so hopefully I will do better.

Nancy

Grammymax

Nancy: For me gardening and yard work is therapy. It's been wet here lately so not much of that going on for me but am looking forward to it soon - I hope!

Good night all. I'l catch you in the morning.:yawn:

Esther

AHealthierSuzyQ

Here's my goal report for April:

1. Plan meals and snacks a day ahead - never quite got this accomplished, but I DID stay withing my calorie allotment all but two days out of 30

2. Add floor exercises and/or swimming to my workout to target "old woman arm" flabbiness and a belly that is still the largest part of me. - Started doing Strength Training DVD 3 days a week. Still can't keep up step for step with it, but can tell I am gaining strength each week.

3. Drink ALL my water - Only did this here and there. I AM up to a minimum of 6 glasses a day though :drinker:

4. Lose at least 5 pounds. - I weighed 195 and I'm down to 191... ALMOST made it!

5. Lose at least 6 inches from my target areas. - I only lost a total of 3" from my waist, abdomen and hips.

What I learned from this is I tend to set my goals unrealistically high. So for May, my goals are to lose at least a pound a week and an inch from my belly; maintain my exercise and water momentum.

Oh BTW, We are supposed to have our cement poured at 3:00 this afternoon! :happy:

zaza54

Good morning-
You ladies are terrific and so supportive!! What a blessing.

First of all, my heart goes out to Marie and dricotta. I cannot imagine the pain and heartache you must feel daily, but especially on mother's day. I will be thinking of you and saying a prayer for each of you and your angels. I will also be thinking of you Heather. I'm sure it is very tough. I will remind myself how precious life is and to treausre the ordinary moments.

Which brings me to Kathy's ordeal. Thank God it turned out alright in the end. But how frightening and upsetting. I bet it aged you (which none of us needs at our ages!!) Hopefully, the shock will subside with time. It's just upsetting to witness even though it wasn't your fault at all (same thing happened to my sister in Italy - motocyclist passing on right as she was making right turn).

I thought of all of you last night as I was on telephone w/my oldest son. The lastest is that his girlfriend's mother wants to see him on his birthday. Long stroy short - instead of being 5 people out to dinner in NYC, we'll be 8 people (including the girlfriend's mother, her sister and her brother). Not only is that an extra expense for us, but harder to really talk etc. I know my son feels caught in the middle and doesn't want to hurt feeling etc. So, we'll pick a less epxensive place and, after cathing my breath, I told him that it will be even more celebratory and how nice that he'll be surrounded by so many people that love him. That's what I have to keep teeling myself to make it easier to share him.

My husband is waiting for me so I have to run. Susan, I loved the quote from your son's card.
You are all so helpful and undertstanding. It's great to have a place for women who are going thru similar things. Thanks Esther for starting this thread!!
Zaza

Grammymax

Good morning all:

Zaza: You're welcome I will start the May thread tonight (late) so it's ready for tomorrow morning.

Thanks Susan for sharing your results. You did really well with your goals. Hopefully everyone can review their goals and see how they have done - even if you don't post it it would be good for you to review. Of course we would all love to hear from you if you want to share:happy:

Kathy: Where are you? We're missing you. Hope you are doing okay after such an emotional experience. We're here for you.

Barbie: We're picking up our "newer" trailer today and will spend the afternoon putting everything back in that was in our old one. That will be fun.

My April Goals were:
To workout at least 4 days a week; which I did!
to lose 5 pounds this month; I only lost 4.5
No late night snacks (which is another thread I visit regularly) - Yeah, I did this too - well, there is always tonight but I think I can make it!:bigsmile:

I'll think about my May goals and post them tomorrow as well. I think 1 pound a week is realistic Susan. I think that will probably be my goal, however, we will be traveling most of the month so that will be exceptional if I do that well!

Hope you all have a great day. I'll check in later.

Esther

zaza54

Way to go Esther on your April goals!!!
I haven't even looked at mine. This month was a lost cause. But, I'm doing better about eating and exercising now that I'm home. I expect great things in May. I'll look for you on the new thread. Thanks!
Zaza

Benson

HI there everyone

I'm a late poster today but I wanted to post one last time for April.

My May goals are to get better at my April goals:laugh:

I will burn 1500-2000 exercisie calories each week
I will drink 6 water daily - any more and I have to spend too much time in the biffy:blushing:
I will continue to plan and record my food intake
I will lose 6-8 pounds
I will continue to draw inspiration, knowledge and comfort from all of you!!

Barbiecat I sure hope you can keep in touch with us while away on you vacation. Have a great time and be a good girl!!!

Blasted rain started about a 1/2 hour ago. I suppose if I was a real trooper, I would walk in the rain - Nope not feeling it. I will however, do my Richard Simmons workout and shoot for 40 minutes total.

Have a great day!

Heather

elli

Hi everyone - tomorrow is MAY!!!!! yippeeeeeeeeeeeee:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
ZaZa - wow - good for you - telling your son how much more of a celebration his birthday will be with the additional people. So the right thing to do, but HARD!

Susan - i agree with you about setting our goals TOO high. It becomes unrealistic, then we feel like we failed:noway: never a good thing! I didn't even make my 3 pound goal in April. I only made 1/12 - but i'll take that rather than a gain!!!!! You lost FOUR pounds! That's wonderful!!!!!!!:drinker:

Heather - i don't blame you - no walking in the rain (and the inevitable mud) for me! BUT you did a tape indoors! Way to GO!!!!!!!:happy:

Esther - you did GREAT on your goals! 4.5 pounds! woo hooooooo:drinker: And 4 days a week working out is so good! I hope you're having fun with the new camper!

Kathy - are you doing all right? Please check in!

tgif tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!