Would you remain friends with someone that cheated?
UponThisRock
Posts: 4,519 Member
If one of your friends cheated on their spouse, would you remain friends with them?
I wouldn't. A friend has to be someone I can trust. If they can't honor their marriage vows, there's no way I can trust them to honor whatever relationship we've built.
Depending on the circumstances, I wouldn't totally cut the person out of my life, but I would not longer consider them a "friend."
I wouldn't. A friend has to be someone I can trust. If they can't honor their marriage vows, there's no way I can trust them to honor whatever relationship we've built.
Depending on the circumstances, I wouldn't totally cut the person out of my life, but I would not longer consider them a "friend."
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Replies
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truth.0
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Yes.. and I have.
If they've been my friend for a long time, I cherish them. We all make mistakes and if my friends dropped me when I made mistakes (because I've made some pretty big ones), I'd be all by my lonesome.0 -
There is no cookie cutter answer to this as it would depend on a lot of variables.0
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I agree. People make mistakes and we all deserve forgiveness.0
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I see what you mean by the trust issue but I wouldn't drop them from my life. The cheating is between my friend and their spouse. They would know I didn't approve but I am not one to judge others too harshly. I know I am not perfect by any means.0
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It is all to do with forgiveness and as I would have nothing to forgive because it did not concern me directly, then they would still be my friend. Besides which, I am no angel myself, I do not cheat on my hubby, but I have my faults make no mistake and I would hate for a friend to disown me because they considered me to be a liability in some way. In fact, if they thought that way, they are not a real friend anyway.0
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There are a lot of factors in this question. I think it would be case specific0
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Considering my dad cheated on my mom, definitely no. If someone can be disloyal to their spouse who they loved enough to marry, I don't really have faith in the person as a friend.
I don't care what the circumstances are. If things aren't working, be responsible and break it off.
I'm not perfect myself and don't expect my friends to be. Cheating is one of the few things I will not tolerate for any reason.0 -
No matter how much you think you know your closest friend, it is entirely possible that you are not aware of all the circumstances, feelings, and emotions that they experience in their relationship with their significant other. While trust in any relationship is a big concern, you can't apply a "one size fits all" solution to this question without knowing all the reasons which led to the cheat.0
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It is all to do with forgiveness and as I would have nothing to forgive because it did not concern me directly, then they would still be my friend. Besides which, I am no angel myself, I do not cheat on my hubby, but I have my faults make no mistake and I would hate for a friend to disown me because they considered me to be a liability in some way. In fact, if they thought that way, they are not a real friend anyway.
Would you still trust that friend?0 -
I guess I'd still remain friends with someone, if I came to find out that my name was being used as an alibi then I'd have problems with being put on the spot to lie for someone (which I wouldn't do). Every couple has their issues and that's for them to work out, besides some couples learn to get passed the cheating and do stay together.0
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I really don't approve of cheating, but I have had some bad friends who made bad choices, but they didn't cheat on me... though I understand where you are coming from. I don't approve and would distance myself or let it be known it was wrong and tell them straight up, but I wouldn't drop the person completely0
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Probably... I took a vow when I married my husband whom I would NEVER cheat on. But I didn't take a vow to any of my friends. They would know that I don't approve but friendship is different then a marriage
I LOVE my friends and I'm there to be just that... A friend. I don't judge as I know they don't judge me when and if I mess up 0 -
It is all to do with forgiveness and as I would have nothing to forgive because it did not concern me directly, then they would still be my friend. Besides which, I am no angel myself, I do not cheat on my hubby, but I have my faults make no mistake and I would hate for a friend to disown me because they considered me to be a liability in some way. In fact, if they thought that way, they are not a real friend anyway.
Would you still trust that friend?
Yes.0 -
I would...people make mistakes...You never know the whole story as to what is going on behind closed doors. I would still trust that person as well because they didn't do anything to ME by cheating on their spouse. Just my opinion, maybe I'm a sucker lol0
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I would...people make mistakes...You never know the whole story as to what is going on behind closed doors. I would still trust that person as well because they didn't do anything to ME by cheating on their spouse. Just my opinion, maybe I'm a sucker lol
What about marrying a man that cheated on his last spouse?0 -
Well that's a hard one to fathom because I'm already married to man who wasn't previously married so I'm not sure. The heart wants what it wants...If I was trully in love with a man who had made mistakes in the past I think I would marry him anyways..but I suppose it would depend on what had gone on in the previous marriage. I'm just lucky I found one without baggage! lol0
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A TRUE friend will be there for better or worse !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are not perfect people and sometimes we do things that we may not be proud of but these are the times when we needs our friends the most !!!! Turning your back doesnt show friendship it shows a judgemental person. WHo are we to judge others ??? They have to answer to the man above not us !!!!!!!!!0
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While I trust my friend's opinions and want their input, I also hope that they respect my choices in life.
I in turn would not judge a friend for cheating. I would try to be there for them, offer my advice, but ultimately, I would respect their decision.
If they were doing something that could harm them or another person physically, then I would intervene.
Although if the cheating became a habit, I think I would probably reevaluate the friendship.0 -
I would and I have. And yes I still trust them, probably even more so now b/c all of it was confided to me. And I do not judge, that is their relationship, not mine.0
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only if I was the receiving party. LMAO0
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Yes, I would remain there friend. Were friends not lovers, they are not betraying me. Our friendship and there affairs have nothing to do with each other.0
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There is no cookie cutter answer to this as it would depend on a lot of variables.
I agree with this post. There are too many things to consider. Length of your friendship. The circumstances of their marriage. Not excusing it, but until you have walked a mile in someone else shoes...0 -
NO!0
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I don't my friend cheating on their spouse has anything to do with my relationship with them...Honestly, I don't judge. That's between them and God.0
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It is all to do with forgiveness and as I would have nothing to forgive because it did not concern me directly, then they would still be my friend. Besides which, I am no angel myself, I do not cheat on my hubby, but I have my faults make no mistake and I would hate for a friend to disown me because they considered me to be a liability in some way. In fact, if they thought that way, they are not a real friend anyway.
Would you still trust that friend?
What does cheating on a spouse have to do with friendship. Your notthe spouse and your not in that relationship. You may not liek what they did and as a friend you can tellthem that but as a good friend you need to be there or them. Chances are it was a HUGE mistake and if they could and would they would take it back.0 -
I have gotten rid of a "friend" on here for that very reason. My real life friends don't treat their SO's like that. If they did, I would not want them anywhere near me. Guilty by association. No thanks.0
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only if I was the receiving party. LMAO
ok, there IS an exception!!! LOL0 -
People will let you down. Even the good ones, no matter their intentions will let you down sooner or later. If you can walk away from a friend over this then you weren't friends to begin with.
Maybe this person is more of an acquaintance than a friend.0 -
I would...people make mistakes...You never know the whole story as to what is going on behind closed doors. I would still trust that person as well because they didn't do anything to ME by cheating on their spouse. Just my opinion, maybe I'm a sucker lol
What about marrying a man that cheated on his last spouse?
Yes as the circumstances had nothing to do with me0
This discussion has been closed.
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