Would you remain friends with someone that cheated?

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  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
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    I have gotten rid of a "friend" on here for that very reason. My real life friends don't treat their SO's like that. If they did, I would not want them anywhere near me. Guilty by association. No thanks.

    You assume that person was cheating on their loved one. Does it matter than they may have fallen out of love with their partner? That they may be miserable, trapped, and just sick of everything? You would rather than stay with them, despite all that?


    Regards the OP, as others have said, each case if different. If that friend had a loving, caring, partner, then id need a good reason why the friend cheated. If the friend's partner was mean, rude, didnt respect my friend, and treated them like **** for years, id be bloody cheering my friend on! Serves that partner right!
  • NewVonnie
    NewVonnie Posts: 683 Member
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    Until you have walked in their shoes..You should not judge !!!!!!!!!!! some people do things for reason we may not understand BUT it is not our place to understand it..They have to live with what they have done..It is our job as a devoted and true friend to stand with them and help them through it not push them away..perhaps thats the reason they cheated in the first place.... People cheat for many reasons ...some for the emotional part of it that they are lacking at hiome, some for the desire they have longed for and someone may be in an abusive relationship and found a comfort zone in someone else and things happened...Never the less, I am not perfect NOR do I try to act like it..We all have flaws and all have made a mistake a time or two but I can say that without the help that I have had from my friends I dont know what I would have done. !!!!

    SO Please dont be so soon to turn your back on them.. They may need you now more than ever !!!

    ^^^ THIS
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    I would...people make mistakes...You never know the whole story as to what is going on behind closed doors. I would still trust that person as well because they didn't do anything to ME by cheating on their spouse. Just my opinion, maybe I'm a sucker lol

    What about marrying a man that cheated on his last spouse?

    Yes as the circumstances had nothing to do with me

    I would definitely not say no. I think it would depend on circumstances.
  • vaderandbill
    vaderandbill Posts: 1,063 Member
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    I am still friends with a friend that cheated. He is aware that I disagreed with his actions and then I helped him get settled in his new place and start his life over. I'm also still friends with his ex-wife.

    I think friends are there for you when you're down and when you make mistakes.
  • myopus
    myopus Posts: 321 Member
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    I agree. People make mistakes and we all deserve forgiveness.

    :heart:
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
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    I have gotten rid of a "friend" on here for that very reason. My real life friends don't treat their SO's like that. If they did, I would not want them anywhere near me. Guilty by association. No thanks.

    You assume that person was cheating on their loved one. Does it matter than they may have fallen out of love with their partner? That they may be miserable, trapped, and just sick of everything? You would rather than stay with them, despite all that?

    Wow, imo that person is better off without you tbh...how about you consider THEIR feelings first, rather that your own stupid misguided sense of ethics...


    Regards the OP, as others have said, each case if different. If that friend had a loving, caring, partner, then id need a good reason why the friend cheated. If the friend's partner was mean, rude, didnt respect my friend, and treated them like **** for years, id be bloody cheering my friend on! Serves that partner right!

    Oh the irony....judging her for judging her friend. Smh.

    I applaud her for sticking by her moral convictions whether it be IRL or on the internet.
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
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    Yes, I would and I have... and I have cheated once, myself. Long ago, and I learned from it... and my friends saw me through my stupidity.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    Our unit of associates are close like family.
    NO WAY!
    If I found out, I would simply confront him, demand he cease the illicit relationship or else he's finished.
    If a man would cheat on his spouse, anything goes.
    How could I trust such a man?

    No, that's one of our biggest rules: no screwing around.
    And if one of my guys were screwing around with another one of my guy's wives?
    OMG!
    That would not end well for either.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    In all likelihood yes. People make mistakes. Also, relationships with friends are not exactly analogous to relationships with partners.
  • Carrot1971
    Carrot1971 Posts: 272 Member
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    You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. They may seem like they have the perfect life but home alone may be a completely different story. Cheating doesn't necessarily mean they are untrustworthy. Maybe they are missing something from their relationship...maybe they are emotionally abused...you don't know so how can you possibly judge? Besides, its really nobodys business what happens in a marriage. As another poster said, thats between them and GOD!!

    And, yes, I've had friends who cheated. Several (unfortunately). Some just because they could. I don't condone it, but I don't judge them for it either.
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    Cheating doesn't necessarily mean they are untrustworthy.

    To me, it kinda does.
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
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    I would remain and have remained friends with a friend who cheated. I was upfront on my feelings about it though.
    I said I wouldn't in any way support the cheating, nor be a party to it in anyway. I told the friend that they were cheating not only their spouse but the person they were cheating with as well as themselves. Obviously there were problems in the relationship, I didn't judge though. I pushed for her to be honest about the problems the couple had, they temporally worked out and then later on split.

    On marrying a partner who had cheated on me. I had been in a long term relationship with a man who cheated on me. 11+ yrs, it eventually became abusive in so many ways and levels. He also had substance abuse issues. I would like to think that it would have been possible to work through what happened, had it not been for the alcohol abuse would the cheating have happened?? Who knows but because he never quit no one will know...
    I think in some ways it depends on why the cheater cheated... Can that broken part of them be fixed? If not then no wouldn't marry them.. Because til it it the pattern will never cease, it will spiral out of control..
  • kugagirl
    kugagirl Posts: 12
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    I completely disagree with a lot of the posts about this. You are not here to judge your friends. That is God's job. You are a friend through thick and thin. Good and bad. I have friends that have cheated on their spouses and of course I am still friends with them. You are NOT guilty by association. That is just ludicrous! Just because your friend's cheated doesnt mean you would! UGH I rarely disagree but this is crazy!
  • kugagirl
    kugagirl Posts: 12
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    I don't my friend cheating on their spouse has anything to do with my relationship with them...Honestly, I don't judge. That's between them and God.
    EXACTLY and we arent GOD!
  • sjmgde
    sjmgde Posts: 381 Member
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    Cheating doesn't necessarily mean they are untrustworthy.

    To me, it kinda does.

    have you had this happen before. You might feel different if you actually experience the sitaution. Just a thought before you start ditching friends
  • dalgirly
    dalgirly Posts: 280 Member
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    Yes yes I would. If they were a good friend, I would stick with them.

    They did not cheat on me. Why would I cut someone out of my life because of a mistake they made?

    People will make mistakes. Do you just automatically cut someone out of your life because they messed up? A great friend wouldn't.

    I am not saying you should condone the behaviour or even say the friend was right. But by no means do you have to completely abandon your friend.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Friendships and marriages are like apples and bananas. Nobody ever knows the full story about what goes on in someone else's marriage. Unless a friend personally betrays my trust, I'm not going to cut them out of my life just because their relationship with someone else fell apart.
  • Rocco_99
    Rocco_99 Posts: 1
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    Yes i would
  • shanlynt
    shanlynt Posts: 754 Member
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    Yah it wouldn't really bother me. A good friend cheated on her husband routinely but when she told me that they were going to become swingers, I felt very, very uncomfortable around her.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,858 Member
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    I would take my cues from their SO. If the couple stays together,then I would find a way to support them both. Not sure what I would do if they broke up.

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