Would you remain friends with someone that cheated?
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Back in the day NO! But I am getting older and its really time out for the BS! i wouldn't necessary cut them and I don't think that they will cross me per se, but I'm trying to hang with friends that is on my level or HIGHER! The type of friends that makes ME want to step my game up!0
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And yes, I have had plenty of screw ups...and some of my friends helped me plot it or was involved....but again - we can't do the same stuff we did 10-15-20 years ago!0
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sure, its thier business0
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I applaud her for sticking by her moral convictions whether it be IRL or on the internet.
Fair enough, ofc that's your right to do that, and hers to think that.
I'm just glad my friends aren't like you two!
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I completely disagree with a lot of the posts about this. You are not here to judge your friends. That is God's job. You are a friend through thick and thin. Good and bad. I have friends that have cheated on their spouses and of course I am still friends with them. You are NOT guilty by association. That is just ludicrous! Just because your friend's cheated doesnt mean you would! UGH I rarely disagree but this is crazy!
Totally AGREE!0 -
People make mistakes and there is no way that you can know what goes on between two people in a relationship. Cheating can be a sign that there are other problems. If they are still a good a caring friend to you, I would remain friends.0
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It depends on the situation. I have been there, and I am still friends with this person who cheated on her now ex-boyfriend. I am not going into detail, but it was a weird situation and I do not at fault her for it. She is way better off in the life she is in now.0
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Who am I to judge? I wouldn't cut them out of my life but I would let them know I didn't agree with their choice. The way I see it...is they must have had some issues in their marriage if the person cheated. Maybe they need a friend THEY can trust to talk to and help them get through this. That's what friends are for. I have alot of aquantances but I have very few FRIENDS who stand by me and love me for who I am and have never judged me for the mistakes I've made. I cherish those friends and would stand by them through thick and thin.0
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i would remain friends with someone that cheated. They didn't cheat on me!0
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I think it is all a matter of Character & really has nothing to do with the loyalty of one individual towards the next individual.
* We all do make mistakes and we should forgive as we would want to be forgiving seeing that NO ONE on this earth is without sin. At some point we have ALL done or said something out of line.
* There is NO SIN GREATER THAN THE NEXT! In other words, if you are a liar and I cheat but he steals....Please tell me what would be the difference when they all have negitive consequences?????
Again, It's a matter of character.
Knowing the various characters of my family & friends will help me deal with them accordingly. But I would not defriend them unless because they were disloyal, dishonest, or not trustworthy.
I would however, change the way I interacted with the indivdual that might perhaps one day effect our relationship/friendship.
For Example... If my child was to do a bunch of the same things or my siblings or someone close to me...It does not change who they are to me. Moreless it would change my perception of the person & perhaps effect the way we interact & deal with one other.0 -
Anybody who'd cheat in marriage would never honor a friendship.
But go right ahead - be my guest - :laugh:
Birds of a feather flock together....0 -
YUP! That's what friends are for...you never know the whole story and can't assume that you do. The best you can do is be a friend.0
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I'd still be friends. My friends make sh!tty decisions all the time.
Now, if my friend became a consistent cheater, then I might feel like we should hang out less. I don't dig when people are regularly dishonest. I especially would never want to be put in the position of covering for them or partaking in their dishonesty with their spouse.0 -
Cheating doesn't necessarily mean they are untrustworthy.
To me, it kinda does.
Yea same.
I probably wouldn't. People make mistakes, but that is a big f**k up. Something I am very against and think is wrong to do to someone. It can hurt so many people. If their spouse can't even trust them for that reason, I would assume that I as a friend couldn't either. Just never know. Good thing I haven't had that happen! And well none of my friends are married :P0 -
A friend of mine did. I just don't make any effort to speak to or see them any more.0
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Not always true! If it was your brother or Sister and not your friend would you discontinue your relationship with them?0
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Not always true! If it was your brother or Sister and not your friend would you discontinue your relationship with them?
If it was my brother I would react different. As big sis I would tell him off and give him the stink eye! Plus family is a bit different then friends. I would see my brother differently though yes.0 -
Anybody who'd cheat in marriage would never honor a friendship.
But go right ahead - be my guest - :laugh:
Birds of a feather flock together....
I'd like to know what you would do if it was your Brother or Sister...would you discontinue your relation with them. based on birds of a feather flocks together.
***Come on People*** SMDH0 -
You do know a lot of people don't have strong relationships with siblings right? I see it all the time. I think the same can apply0
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I think the real situation here is being overlooked.
If you feel like the cheater friend is making you uncomfortable, then maybe you shouldn't be their friend. Those unsafe feelings you are having might have been there for that person even before they cheated and this cheating thing brought it to the fore.
If, on the other hand, this person is someone you have felt really close to, or looked up to, and suddenly your image of them is shattered, then maybe step back and consider that they might not be who you thought, but they might still be worthwhile. All those reasons you were friends with them in the first place might still be there, you just can't put them on as high a pedestal anymore.
If you feel like that person did something so horrible that you really lost all respect for them (like abused their spouse emotionally, or serially cheated, or had unsafe sex with multiple partners and gave spouse std) then yeah, maybe they really were a schmuck to start with.
I've abandoned friends because of their behavior before. When it became clear to me through their actions that they really were not the person I thought they were, AND THAT THAT PERSON THEY WERE HAD NO QUALITIES I STILL VALUED, I pulled away.
I've also had friends that cheated--one for no good reason whatsoever--with whom I've remained fast friends. The behavior was owned up to, efforts were made to make good with the partner, yadda yadda. So the action was bad, but the person turned out to be good in the long run, and my emotional bond wasn't mucked up.
If you feel like that person makes your skin crawl now, then pull away. I've not regretted a single one of the friendships I've intentionally ended. My gut feelings of unease, unhappiness, and discomfort when I was around those people did not make me feel safe, and my life is better going my separate way.
This is not about them, really. This is about you and what you feel comfortable with. If you find you can't trust that person, then don't feel guilty. As long as you don't make it a habit of ditching friends right and left for minor infractions, you probably aren't doing anything unhealthy for yourself.0 -
What goes on between my friend and their spouse has very little to do with me. I don't know what is really going on in their relationship...how they feel, how they are being treated, etc. There are two sides to every story. People make mistakes for different reasons... Until the day the person is not loyal to me will be the day i stop being their friend... Until then I will be there for my friend no matter what mistakes they make.0
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I clicked on this thinking it would be about someone cheating on their diet. LOL.0
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Of course!Anybody who'd cheat in marriage would never honor a friendship.
But go right ahead - be my guest - :laugh:
Birds of a feather flock together....
I'd like to know what you would do if it was your Brother or Sister...would you discontinue your relation with them. based on birds of a feather flocks together.
Those who cheat are NOT a part of my family unless they cease the illicit relationship and make the right amends.
As I already mentioned, I'd confront them once, and they'd need to make a choice.
End of story.0 -
Our unit of associates are close like family.
NO WAY!
If I found out, I would simply confront him, demand he cease the illicit relationship or else he's finished.
If a man would cheat on his spouse, anything goes.
How could I trust such a man?
No, that's one of our biggest rules: no screwing around.
And if one of my guys were screwing around with another one of my guy's wives?
OMG!
That would not end well for either.
^^^ This exactly. I find the concept of cheating absolutely repulsive. If I knew my friend was cheating on their spouse, I would definitely demand an end to their cheating Otherwise, they would be expecting you to lie to their spouse as well. What friend would ask you to do that to someone they supposedly care about? I guess I'm a black or white person...to me, there is zero excuse that can justify cheating. I've had to deal with the toxicity of cheating my husband's family and it ain't pretty. I've made mistakes too...but cheating is more than just a "mistake." That is a conscience choice to ruin someones state of peace and mind in a selfish pursuit. If there is something wrong with your marriage, then END it. A true friend would stop a friend on such a destructive path. And because I'm an atheist, I don't believe it is some "God's place to judge" - I think it is my place to judge what is morally right and wrong. And cheating is WRONG. Live life simply - treat others how you want to be treated.0 -
Yes, unless you are God and know the surrounding circumstances. Test of your friendship as well.0
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If life was as black and white as you're stating, there'd be no such thing as inner conflict. Yet we all have it.
It's true that if you judge someone from their past actions, people rarely look like shining angels. It's easy to throw judgement at a situation from the sidelines.
But people have this amazing ability to learn from their mistakes and become better than they ever have been.
I think the true people to avoid are the ones who choose to not learn from their mistakes to better themselves and to ultimately not do the same mistakes again.0 -
I need to know I can count on those close to me.Our unit of associates are close like family.
NO WAY!
If I found out, I would simply confront him, demand he cease the illicit relationship or else he's finished.
If a man would cheat on his spouse, anything goes.
How could I trust such a man?
No, that's one of our biggest rules: no screwing around.
And if one of my guys were screwing around with another one of my guy's wives?
OMG!
That would not end well for either.
^^^ This exactly. I find the concept of cheating absolutely repulsive. If I knew my friend was cheating on their spouse, I would definitely demand an end to their cheating Otherwise, they would be expecting you to lie to their spouse as well. What friend would ask you to do that to someone they supposedly care about? I guess I'm a black or white person...to me, there is zero excuse that can justify cheating. I've had to deal with the toxicity of cheating my husband's family and it ain't pretty. I've made mistakes too...but cheating is more than just a "mistake." That is a conscience choice to ruin someones state of peace and mind in a selfish pursuit. If there is something wrong with your marriage, then END it. A true friend would stop a friend on such a destructive path. And because I'm an atheist, I don't believe it is some "God's place to judge" - I think it is my place to judge what is morally right and wrong. And cheating is WRONG. Live life simply - treat others how you want to be treated.
If they'd cheat on their wife, they'd drop me in the grease too.
That's why we have that rule.
NO SCREWING AROUND!0 -
yes I would. I am not judgmental. People make mistakes and maybe she had a good reason. live and let live.0
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I agree. People make mistakes and we all deserve forgiveness.
Completely agree!0 -
of course i would remain friends with someone who cheated. anyone who wouldn't probably wasn't a real friend anyway.0
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