Would you remain friends with someone that cheated?

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  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
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    What goes on between my friend and their spouse has very little to do with me. I don't know what is really going on in their relationship...how they feel, how they are being treated, etc. There are two sides to every story. People make mistakes for different reasons... Until the day the person is not loyal to me will be the day i stop being their friend... Until then I will be there for my friend no matter what mistakes they make.
  • flibberdajibbitt
    flibberdajibbitt Posts: 52 Member
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    I clicked on this thinking it would be about someone cheating on their diet. LOL.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    Anybody who'd cheat in marriage would never honor a friendship.
    But go right ahead - be my guest - :laugh:
    Birds of a feather flock together....

    I'd like to know what you would do if it was your Brother or Sister...would you discontinue your relation with them. based on birds of a feather flocks together.
    Of course!
    Those who cheat are NOT a part of my family unless they cease the illicit relationship and make the right amends.
    As I already mentioned, I'd confront them once, and they'd need to make a choice.
    End of story.
  • toadiejones
    toadiejones Posts: 608 Member
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    Our unit of associates are close like family.
    NO WAY!
    If I found out, I would simply confront him, demand he cease the illicit relationship or else he's finished.
    If a man would cheat on his spouse, anything goes.
    How could I trust such a man?

    No, that's one of our biggest rules: no screwing around.
    And if one of my guys were screwing around with another one of my guy's wives?
    OMG!
    That would not end well for either.

    ^^^ This exactly. I find the concept of cheating absolutely repulsive. If I knew my friend was cheating on their spouse, I would definitely demand an end to their cheating Otherwise, they would be expecting you to lie to their spouse as well. What friend would ask you to do that to someone they supposedly care about? I guess I'm a black or white person...to me, there is zero excuse that can justify cheating. I've had to deal with the toxicity of cheating my husband's family and it ain't pretty. I've made mistakes too...but cheating is more than just a "mistake." That is a conscience choice to ruin someones state of peace and mind in a selfish pursuit. If there is something wrong with your marriage, then END it. A true friend would stop a friend on such a destructive path. And because I'm an atheist, I don't believe it is some "God's place to judge" - I think it is my place to judge what is morally right and wrong. And cheating is WRONG. Live life simply - treat others how you want to be treated.
  • dragonfly74
    dragonfly74 Posts: 1,382 Member
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    Yes, unless you are God and know the surrounding circumstances. Test of your friendship as well.
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
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    If life was as black and white as you're stating, there'd be no such thing as inner conflict. Yet we all have it.

    It's true that if you judge someone from their past actions, people rarely look like shining angels. It's easy to throw judgement at a situation from the sidelines.

    But people have this amazing ability to learn from their mistakes and become better than they ever have been.

    I think the true people to avoid are the ones who choose to not learn from their mistakes to better themselves and to ultimately not do the same mistakes again.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    Our unit of associates are close like family.
    NO WAY!
    If I found out, I would simply confront him, demand he cease the illicit relationship or else he's finished.
    If a man would cheat on his spouse, anything goes.
    How could I trust such a man?

    No, that's one of our biggest rules: no screwing around.
    And if one of my guys were screwing around with another one of my guy's wives?
    OMG!
    That would not end well for either.

    ^^^ This exactly. I find the concept of cheating absolutely repulsive. If I knew my friend was cheating on their spouse, I would definitely demand an end to their cheating Otherwise, they would be expecting you to lie to their spouse as well. What friend would ask you to do that to someone they supposedly care about? I guess I'm a black or white person...to me, there is zero excuse that can justify cheating. I've had to deal with the toxicity of cheating my husband's family and it ain't pretty. I've made mistakes too...but cheating is more than just a "mistake." That is a conscience choice to ruin someones state of peace and mind in a selfish pursuit. If there is something wrong with your marriage, then END it. A true friend would stop a friend on such a destructive path. And because I'm an atheist, I don't believe it is some "God's place to judge" - I think it is my place to judge what is morally right and wrong. And cheating is WRONG. Live life simply - treat others how you want to be treated.
    I need to know I can count on those close to me.
    If they'd cheat on their wife, they'd drop me in the grease too.
    That's why we have that rule.
    NO SCREWING AROUND!
  • treesha450
    treesha450 Posts: 321 Member
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    yes I would. I am not judgmental. People make mistakes and maybe she had a good reason. live and let live.
  • dragonfly74
    dragonfly74 Posts: 1,382 Member
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    I agree. People make mistakes and we all deserve forgiveness.

    Completely agree!
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    of course i would remain friends with someone who cheated. anyone who wouldn't probably wasn't a real friend anyway.
  • Butterfly3730
    Butterfly3730 Posts: 220
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    There is no cookie cutter answer to this as it would depend on a lot of variables.

    I agree with this post. There are too many things to consider. Length of your friendship. The circumstances of their marriage. Not excusing it, but until you have walked a mile in someone else shoes...

    AGREED!
  • keenslk
    keenslk Posts: 126
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    I dont judge my friends and im always on all of my close friends sides... so yea if they cheated I would still be friends with them, I would tell them it was a horrible thing to do but I would try to understand where they are coming from and why they did it etc.... as at the end of the day my loyalities are with them as my friend..cheating in a relationship does not necessarily make you a bad person, they could have be unhappy with their partner, depressed, going through a rough time etc... I would not stop being friends with them... At the end of the day all the people I call friends are my friends because they are decent people and I trust them completely in terms of our friendship; otherwise I wouldnt be friends with them in the first place... what they do on a relationship level with their partner is not my place to judge... i can disapprove and tell them that... but if they cheat on their partner it does not mean they are going to decieve me as a friend....
    However, if they were a serial cheater/player/hurting a lot of people and abused my trust etc then yea they are cut... I dont have time for negative people in my life .. :D
  • toadiejones
    toadiejones Posts: 608 Member
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    I gotta say, I am stunned that so many people consider cheating a simply a "mistake".
  • tataliciousd89
    tataliciousd89 Posts: 465
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    If I knew that a friend had cheated I would not be able to trust them. Even if we remained in contact with eachother I couldn't consider them a true friend. Cheating speaks to someones integrity on a very basic level and it doesn't say very good things. There are a lot of losers in this world and I've dealt with enough of them to know that my time and effort are worth more than that.
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
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    I don't my friend cheating on their spouse has anything to do with my relationship with them...Honestly, I don't judge. That's between them and God.
    EXACTLY and we arent GOD!

    And if you don't believe in God?
  • dragonfly74
    dragonfly74 Posts: 1,382 Member
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    I gotta say, I am stunned that so many people consider cheating a simply a "mistake".

    It isn't "just a mistake." and it isn't for others to judge.
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
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    I gotta say, I am stunned that so many people consider cheating a simply a "mistake".

    It isn't "just a mistake." and it isn't for others to judge.

    That depends. If you do not want to surround yourself with people who would do that then you can judge all you want. Purely opinion and will differ
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
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    Can someone actually define cheating?

    Is it cheating if that person doesn't love their partner any more, and they both know they are only still together for convenience? Would that still be bad?

    Or in your books "cheating" is "cheating", no matter what the circumstance?
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
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    Yes.. and I have.

    If they've been my friend for a long time, I cherish them. We all make mistakes and if my friends dropped me when I made mistakes (because I've made some pretty big ones), I'd be all by my lonesome.

    Me too. I don't judge my friends and I hope they don't judge me either.
  • jenlb99
    jenlb99 Posts: 213 Member
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    Yes, and I have. They didn't cheat on me, they cheated on their partner because there was something in their relationship that just didn't work.

    That has nothing to do with our friendship.

    I have a wide variety of friends -- some who do drugs (beyond marijuana), some who never miss mass on Sunday, some who uphold the law, others who repeatedly break it...I guarantee we all have friends like this. The difference is, people tell me a lot more than they tell others. People have told me the most personal, intimate things about themselves within minutes of meeting me; I think you'd be shocked at the things very normal, trustworthy people have done in the past. You would be a very lonely person if only you knew every secret every one of your friends and family members have hidden.

    Loving someone is accepting their flaws, because let's face it -- we've all got them.

    Now does that mean I would take back a partner who cheated on me? HELL NO. I have more respect for myself than that. Friends are different.

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