Would you remain friends with someone that cheated?

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  • Bronx_Montgomery
    Bronx_Montgomery Posts: 2,287 Member
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    only if I was the receiving party. LMAO
  • njean888
    njean888 Posts: 399 Member
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    Yes, I would remain there friend. Were friends not lovers, they are not betraying me. Our friendship and there affairs have nothing to do with each other.
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
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    There is no cookie cutter answer to this as it would depend on a lot of variables.

    I agree with this post. There are too many things to consider. Length of your friendship. The circumstances of their marriage. Not excusing it, but until you have walked a mile in someone else shoes...
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
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    NO!
  • NYCDutchess
    NYCDutchess Posts: 622 Member
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    I don't my friend cheating on their spouse has anything to do with my relationship with them...Honestly, I don't judge. That's between them and God.
  • sjmgde
    sjmgde Posts: 381 Member
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    It is all to do with forgiveness and as I would have nothing to forgive because it did not concern me directly, then they would still be my friend. Besides which, I am no angel myself, I do not cheat on my hubby, but I have my faults make no mistake and I would hate for a friend to disown me because they considered me to be a liability in some way. In fact, if they thought that way, they are not a real friend anyway.

    Would you still trust that friend?

    What does cheating on a spouse have to do with friendship. Your notthe spouse and your not in that relationship. You may not liek what they did and as a friend you can tellthem that but as a good friend you need to be there or them. Chances are it was a HUGE mistake and if they could and would they would take it back.
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
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    I have gotten rid of a "friend" on here for that very reason. My real life friends don't treat their SO's like that. If they did, I would not want them anywhere near me. Guilty by association. No thanks.
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
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    only if I was the receiving party. LMAO

    ok, there IS an exception!!! LOL
  • Happyguy
    Happyguy Posts: 90 Member
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    People will let you down. Even the good ones, no matter their intentions will let you down sooner or later. If you can walk away from a friend over this then you weren't friends to begin with.

    Maybe this person is more of an acquaintance than a friend.
  • sjmgde
    sjmgde Posts: 381 Member
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    I would...people make mistakes...You never know the whole story as to what is going on behind closed doors. I would still trust that person as well because they didn't do anything to ME by cheating on their spouse. Just my opinion, maybe I'm a sucker lol

    What about marrying a man that cheated on his last spouse?

    Yes as the circumstances had nothing to do with me
  • kaetmarie
    kaetmarie Posts: 668 Member
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    My husband and i have opposing views on this...we are/were good friends with a couple and the wife cheated on her husband with another one of our friends. Obviously, we all found out about it (because they did it while we were all together at a party...dumb) and now we are kind of dealing with the aftermath -- both were married, both are staying together, but now the group has been divided because they can't be together ever. I'm having a really hard time being friends with them and don't trust themanymore (...stay away from my husband please!) but he thinks that it's none of our business and we need to support both of the cheaters and their spouses....which is totally awkward because everyone knows that we all know.
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
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    I have gotten rid of a "friend" on here for that very reason. My real life friends don't treat their SO's like that. If they did, I would not want them anywhere near me. Guilty by association. No thanks.

    ^^^^ this! Plus, if they are being 2-faced to their spouse, what COULD they be saying about you behind YOUR back? Doesn't sound like a friend I would want to be around... regardless of circumstance. If it is a bad relationship, get out FIRST - then date after separation... don't sneak around. Your logic makes sense, Kaetmarie... but of course I am biased. :)
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    I myself met my partner when I was with my ex. He was abusive physically, sexually and psychologically and when I met my fiance I ended my other relationship as it finally gave me the courage to walk away. Not many people knew what was going on in my relationship and wouldn't have understood. I lost all my friends because I had to move away because I was being hunted down by the ex partner, the police made me change work loacations, move to a new town. I've suffered terrible lonliness loosing my friends. Granted most situations aren't that bad, but how are you to know what happens behind closed doors? I'd never ever cheat on my partner or be disloyal to my friends because they are good to me and I love them. I'd always walk away first... Don't be too quick to judge there may be many things your not aware off x
  • EMarvie
    EMarvie Posts: 335 Member
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    if that friend cheated with my husband - I'd probably have to rethink the friendship and marriage -
    but in general I would remain friends- Im not there to judge them , they know my opinion , but it's their life. Unless it directly involves me.. im still there!
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    only if I was the receiving party. LMAO

    ha ha
  • HMD7703
    HMD7703 Posts: 761 Member
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    A real friend would be there to help a friend through whatever they are going through. Judging your friend and cutting them off is not going to help them. Want to be a real friend? Ask them if they need to talk. Many times people cheat for companionship (or whatever they are missing at home). A friend can sometimes take the edge off enough to help them through rough times in their marriage or life.

    And isn't loving someone (friend or otherwise) mean to accept them at face value (flaws and all)?
  • toolgirl626
    toolgirl626 Posts: 17 Member
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    I cheated on my late husband; but I had my own reasons. I didn't share this with many people, but if I had and they dropped the friendship, so be it. They were not really a "close" friend, nor was it any of their business. I'd be better off without the "friendship".
  • Natural
    Natural Posts: 461 Member
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    i guess i would. it's funny how other people become so moral when it comes to other people's marriage vows, especially when people get divorced or cheat on their spouse, but yet, as long as the person stays married, then it's okay if these same individuals are:

    liars (including white lies or little lies)
    curse like a sailor and then go to church
    steal from employers
    cheat on taxes
    break other laws

    and we're still their friends, but break a marriage vow or cheat and everybody is on their soap box about what a horrible person they are. want to break out the moral ruler, that's fine, but let's pull it allll the way out.

    i don't condone cheating, but i also don't judge the individual. i'm more likely not to hang around someone with a filthy mouth than someone who cheated on their spouse.

    we don't know what happened or maybe if we do, which one of us hasn't done something wrong where we have needed or asked for forgiveness. i ask for forgiveness and i hope if i ever do something stupid, that forgiveness is extended to me (if i am truly sorry).

    and no, i have never cheated, but i have done stupid.

    and YES, i would still trust them if they have not given ME any reason not to trust them. one stupid mistake, does not mean the person is all bad. they might make a horrible marriage mate to someone else, but still a good enough friend for me.

    p.s. heck King David, the bible king david, cheated and killed - he suffered the consequence of his actions, but even god didn't write him off. who the heck am i again?
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    Until you have walked in their shoes..You should not judge !!!!!!!!!!! some people do things for reason we may not understand BUT it is not our place to understand it..They have to live with what they have done..It is our job as a devoted and true friend to stand with them and help them through it not push them away..perhaps thats the reason they cheated in the first place.... People cheat for many reasons ...some for the emotional part of it that they are lacking at hiome, some for the desire they have longed for and someone may be in an abusive relationship and found a comfort zone in someone else and things happened...Never the less, I am not perfect NOR do I try to act like it..We all have flaws and all have made a mistake a time or two but I can say that without the help that I have had from my friends I dont know what I would have done. !!!!

    SO Please dont be so soon to turn your back on them.. They may need you now more than ever !!!
  • loriamcq
    loriamcq Posts: 64
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    I think it depends on their situation. I had a friend that cheated and I stopped being friends with her. But she did so in a way that it really hurt her spouse. She was wreckless and hurtful to him and I lost my respect for her. But there are different situations so I cant say that I would flat out stop caring for anyone who cheated because it depends on the reason and the outcome.

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