To all you haters
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I'd like to decouple "curvy" from weight.
There are people who are curvy at size 2, 10, and 22 (and up). There are also people at all of those sizes who aren't curvy at all.
EXACTLY!0 -
thin doesn't always mean healthy, healthy comes in all shapes and sizes
Then why are we all here trying to lose weight? I'm pretty sure that "healthy" doesn't come in a 400 lb size.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for affirmation and positivity and encouragement, but there are two kinds of overweight people: those who have weight-related health problems, and those who will.
I don't mean this as a personal shot at you or anyone else at all, so I hope you don't take it that way.. I just get annoyed when I see people my size and larger deluding themselves into thinking they're healthy. I spent the better part of my teens and 20's thinking like that, and now I'm paying the price and I don't like to see others make the same mistakes.
Yes, we're all beautiful, intelligent people on the inside as the original poster suggested, but that doesn't do us a bit of good if we're dead of a heart attack, or diabetes, or some other weight-related malady at a ridiculously young age.
I suppose that makes me a "hater"...I don't intend to be, but such is life I guess.
I finally found a sound response in this line!!! Yes, we all come in all shapes and sizes and healthy is good, but fat is not healthy by any means otherwise we wouldn't be on this site in the first place!!! Get real people!
All of the above. We are all here because we want to be healthier, slimmer and live longer.
Being fat is bad for you, just as is being under-nourished.
Why the OP feels the need to have a go at skinny people is beyond me, a few issues going on here methinks!0 -
Believe it or not, it would be much easier for me to handle the rejection if he told me the truth. Rejection is always hurtful, but it just rubs salt in the wound when someone insults my intelligence by lying about the reason for it. If you're not attracted to me because I'm fat, just say, "You seem like a nice girl, but I'm just not physically attracted to girls who are overweight." It would still sting because rejection for ANY reason is never pleasant. But I can't and won't be angry at someone who has the guts to tell me the truth.
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but why does anyone owe you an explanation as to why they arent interested? that's what i dont get ... it almost comes off a bit entitled and even manipulative.
usually when i've known guys who do this they do it to try and convince you otherwise and dont want to accept the rejection. no should be enough. no one should have to justify why they dont want to potentially snog that person :laugh:
and when guys i'm not attracted to for whatever reason ask me out, i just smile and say "no thank you". there really is no need to offer to friendzone him as some sort of consolation prize0 -
cute0
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I was athletic and around 170 all through high school and then college. At my heaviest then, and it was muscle, I was around 195. I looked frigging fantastic, not all chopped up like a fitness model (which is what I am shooting for long-term... the look not the profession!) but solid chest\back\arms\thighs\abs\big calves etc.
Then a job caught up. Then two full-time IT jobs. Then doing side businesses. Going out all the time with friends or with vendors. Life's ups and downs. I got up to 270 and probably 35% bodyfat, so about 100lbs higher than my "dry" weight, and 70lbs or so higher than ideal (if around 8% bf).
I still went on dates and had plenty of good times in that regard. I still excelled in my career. My friends still loved me. I still loved myself.
In the back of my head was a nagging little voice, though, telling me, "Sure, you're still a good looking guy, but you could be mega-****ing-hot, so put the goddamn cheeseburgers down and get back to work".
I lost 70lbs in 9 months. And you know what? **** being obese. I don't look at old pics of myself and JUDGE myself because I was fat, because JUDGEMENT implies that I would be thinking things like "Man I was so stupid (because I was so fat)", or "Man I was so ugly (because of being fat)".
Nobody is JUDGING you by saying you have a cute face but also adding that they are not attracted to your body.Calling someone fat isn't judgement, it's just observation. Judgement comes when someone says you must be a terrible person or have terrible willpower because you're fat.
So you know what? **** it. I'm fat. I'm smart, I'm well-educated, I have a great job and make a very healthy income, "I've got a cute face" and a great smile. But on top of that, I'm fat. I'm not judging myself, I am just stating a fact. I. Am. Fat. That isn't harmful or hurtful at this point (and hasn't been for a long time) because I know it just means I have eaten more than my maintenance needs and must instead eat less than maintenance to lose weight and get back to a healthy weight and size.
Now, if you want to say I suck at life because of this, that's you judging me.
On the other hand, if you want to say yeap, you're fat, that's not judging me, it's just stating a fact.
Phew. Long-winded story short, you're fat. Nobody is judging you for being fat. And you do have a cute face. And none of that says anything about your personality, brains, ambition, or anything else. It's just a simple fact. An athlete is ripped or cut or in great shape. Doesn't mean they are smart, stupid, rich, poor, or anything in-between. It's just a simple fact.
Be confident. Nobody can take that away from you. But don't accuse others of something they aren't doing. And to those who are actually, really judging you by the definition of the word? Take those people to task, and ask them how in the world they equate being fat with being stupid, or being fat with lacking control. For most people, it's about erasing years or decades of misinformation and bad eating habits. I have more self-control than 99% of the people I know in life, and nobody says otherwise just because I'm fat. I just didn't apply that willpower to my body.
And now I am.
BOOM! This! Well put my man. You're awesome, and I dig your proper grammar!0 -
Then why are we all here trying to lose weight? I'm pretty sure that "healthy" doesn't come in a 400 lb size.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for affirmation and positivity and encouragement, but there are two kinds of overweight people: those who have weight-related health problems, and those who will.
I don't mean this as a personal shot at you or anyone else at all, so I hope you don't take it that way.. I just get annoyed when I see people my size and larger deluding themselves into thinking they're healthy. I spent the better part of my teens and 20's thinking like that, and now I'm paying the price and I don't like to see others make the same mistakes.
Yes, we're all beautiful, intelligent people on the inside as the original poster suggested, but that doesn't do us a bit of good if we're dead of a heart attack, or diabetes, or some other weight-related malady at a ridiculously young age.
I suppose that makes me a "hater"...I don't intend to be, but such is life I guess.
THIS!!!!0 -
Again people lets get real with this.. I posted this form to vent about my haters.. I am not sitting here pointing fingers at all you thin women on mfp but I am pointing fingers at women who do think they have that higher pull on us thick women...*which many women do*. If I want to sit here and say im sorry for offending someone on here guess what Im going to do it and who are you to tell me im not..? Im not a mean person by any means and I am not saying being fat is HEALTHY in anyway is it healthy.. that would be the entire reason I am on this site..is to GET HEALTHY! being my weight is not okay on the body and that is why Im losing it... I have had terrible health issues with being so obese & me and my husband are ttc and I want to be as heathy as I possibly can be for my child..lets get another thing clear..I havent been big my entire life.. I was once a skinny girl so I am fully aware of being on both sides of the end here. Even though there are you people coming on here telling me I put something wrong up here... I still dont regret posting this and I wouldn't have changed a word..sorry.Like I said being obese is not healthy at all but its my body and why shoudnt I feel good about being in it?0
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Also I have another thing to say here.. some of you are saying that people dont hate on us bigger women? PPPPPFFFFFFFFFF hello look at the way our society is?!!?!?! do you see ANY big women modeling? the only bigger people who get through in anything in hollywood is because they have pure talent that they cant pass up! ever noticed how ALOT of the famous ppl these days are bones..and many and I mean many of the women get eating disorders? its because they are told that is the ONLY beautiful. Is being sickly thin healthy guys? no its about just as unhealthy as being fat...are they not beautiful for being thin? OF COURSE NOT..everyone is beautiful. For all you people who support my post thank you and for everyone who doesnt..I'm sorry you feel the way you do and if you didnt get brutally picked on for your weight most of your life then you wouldnt understand where im coming from...I was talking about my haters..again not all skinny women on mfp because obv many of you have a different view but MANY AND I MEAN MANY thin women/men dont think the same about us bigger women.
"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides."
*In our world today we are lead to believe from society's influence that a woman's beauty is usually characterized by how she may appear on the exterior. Women are taught from a young age by the media and culture period that make-up and hair must be done nicely, clothes must be sexy, and bodies must be flawless in order to be considered to be beautiful. We all get caught up in these false qualifications of beauty, and fail to realize that the true qualification of a woman's beauty or anyone's beauty for that matter relies on the person they are at their heart's level.*0 -
thin doesn't always mean healthy, healthy comes in all shapes and sizes
This x 1000 -
Also I have another thing to say here.. some of you are saying that people dont hate on us bigger women? PPPPPFFFFFFFFFF hello look at the way our society is?!!?!?! do you see ANY big women modeling? the only bigger people who get through in anything in hollywood is because they have pure talent that they cant pass up! ever noticed how ALOT of the famous ppl these days are bones..and many and I mean many of the women get eating disorders?
I'm still like 260ish lbs right now. I'm telling you that, once my confidence went up, the 'hating' stopped. If it does still go on, I must be too busy to notice it because I have not seen any at all the last two months. When I was looking miserable, buying nachos or a giant Slurpee, ordering 8 things at McDonald's or just sitting on my butt with my crappy posture... oh yeah, I got looks and whispers.
You can look at a fat person and, most of the time, it's obvious when they are doing something to change it. People see me running, I get good looks. People hear me say, "Hold the cheese." at Subway and look down at their feet with guilt sometimes with their footlong double steak and 5 cheese extra mayo sub. People see me walk or even just stand in line straight, not rigid and a few of them will check me out. (Reason for that is my core is stronger and being fit, as well as confident, will have you standing with good posture)
I do see 'big' women modeling. I see big and HEALTHY women modeling though. Lane Bryant, what? Many big women simply do not possess the confidence and physical maintenance it requires to model. Would I want to see a size 24 woman modeling? Hell to the **** no with that ****. I see being that big as an addiction to food and to a sedentary lifestyle. Any person that says, "Oh, I eat totally healthy and exercise" and they are 300lbs and have stayed right there for years of their supposed being healthy is lying.
People don't get to be morbidly obese by being a health nut. They get there by giving up on themselves. It's up to each person to find their own strength to say NO! It's NOT okay to be that big. It's NOT okay to engorge yourself and it's NOT okay to say it's okay. If that's how someone wants to live their own life, that's fine. But to glorify it, to me, is the same as to glorify a crackhead due to the addictive properties here.
I've struggled with eating disorders in the past. I'm still going to therapy for recovery as well. It was not the media or other people that made me go throw up every meal. It wasn't the media that made me stuff my face just before that either. It wasn't anyone of my friends, family or strangers. It was me, all me. It also wasn't about food or weight. It was about control. I did it to myself and I'm a stronger person for getting through it. I'm on my 5th week of not going over my calorie goals or binging. I've gone almost a year without purging as well.
The biggest thing I had to overcome was letting go of what anyone else thought. My therapist even asks me who gives a **** sometimes. If I was running down the road and someone yelled something mean? **** 'em. Might just push me to run a little harder at that moment. If someone says something about how I should eat some more salad when I'm already eating a salad, I'd probably smile and tell them to get one too because they're pretty gosh darn delicious.
I know you wanted to share your poem and it's a shame it turned out to be an almost 10 page debate. (Yes, I know I was a part of that) But, and I'm not trying to be mean or anything here, it seems like you do still have some confidence issues to work though. A lot of people posting in here do and some admitted it. Confidence doesn't come when you stand up and validate something to the world. That seems more like a shy arrogance to me.
Confidence, true confidence, comes when you sit back and are perfectly capable of achieving happiness and inner peace without saying a word about it to anyone else because you know how you feel and that's the only person that matters.0 -
Sorry about that novel, by the way. Hadn't even realized how much I typed.0
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Then why are we all here trying to lose weight? I'm pretty sure that "healthy" doesn't come in a 400 lb size.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for affirmation and positivity and encouragement, but there are two kinds of overweight people: those who have weight-related health problems, and those who will.
I don't mean this as a personal shot at you or anyone else at all, so I hope you don't take it that way.. I just get annoyed when I see people my size and larger deluding themselves into thinking they're healthy. I spent the better part of my teens and 20's thinking like that, and now I'm paying the price and I don't like to see others make the same mistakes.
Yes, we're all beautiful, intelligent people on the inside as the original poster suggested, but that doesn't do us a bit of good if we're dead of a heart attack, or diabetes, or some other weight-related malady at a ridiculously young age.
I suppose that makes me a "hater"...I don't intend to be, but such is life I guess.
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I agree, but I feel that sometimes people seem to think that you have to be a certain dress size to be healthy, which is what I disagree with. I am overweight and I have a lot of weight to lose, but I equate health with what I put in my body and what exercise I do, not what I weigh or what size clothes I wear. I know that there are overweight people who have health problems casued by or related to their weight, but that is not true of every overweight person. And you do see naturally slim people who eat nothing but crap and don't do any exercise- to me that is not healthy, even if they are the "right" dress size.
The message I took from the original post is to have confidence in your self and love who you are. I wish I could do that. No matter what my dress size has been I have always struggled with self esteem and self confidence.0 -
I have been on both ends of the field..I was 245 pounds and wore a size 24..I got judged and moo'ed at , picked on and rejected , stared at and laughed at and told " You have such a pretty face" ...Now I am 119 and get more flack about being "Skinny" than I did when I was fat.. Sometimes you literally can't win for losing..That's when you need to look up the true meaning of "self confidence" and realize that if you are satisfied with yourself weather you are 120 pounds or 320 pounds , you don't have to defend being happy in your own skin to ANYONE...Just let the haters hate....If you are Confident and truly happy inside and out then their is no need in making others no matter what their size feel self concious....I am happy for anyone who loves themselves and wouldn't make anyone who is heavy or skinny feel like they are any less of an amazing person , I just ask for the same respect...Maybe the person you are making feel uncomfortable about their weight has other issues going on as well...This website , I thought at least was desined to support one another...I am here to support anyone who needs it..Life is a ***** , the last thing anyone needs is me being one on top of it , hell weight loss alone is a difficult not to mention an un desireable pain in the *kitten*...I got who ever's back that needs it simply because I know how difficult it is...0
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I have been on both ends of the field..I was 245 pounds and wore a size 24..I got judged and moo'ed at , picked on and rejected , stared at and laughed at and told " You have such a pretty face" ...Now I am 119 and get more flack about being "Skinny" than I did when I was fat.. Sometimes you literally can't win for losing..That's when you need to look up the true meaning of "self confidence" and realize that if you are satisfied with yourself weather you are 120 pounds or 320 pounds , you don't have to defend being happy in your own skin to ANYONE...Just let the haters hate....If you are Confident and truly happy inside and out then their is no need in making others no matter what their size feel self concious....I am happy for anyone who loves themselves and wouldn't make anyone who is heavy or skinny feel like they are any less of an amazing person , I just ask for the same respect...Maybe the person you are making feel uncomfortable about their weight has other issues going on as well...This website , I thought at least was desined to support one another...I am here to support anyone who needs it..Life is a ***** , the last thing anyone needs is me being one on top of it , hell weight loss alone is a difficult not to mention an un desireable pain in the *kitten*...I got who ever's back that needs it simply because I know how difficult it is...0
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Sorry about that novel, by the way. Hadn't even realized how much I typed.
That's because it came from the heart.
Damn good posting Christi, bloody excellent actually xxx0 -
Meat is for men, bones are for dogs.........women were meant to have curves not look like a half-starved 10 year old children.
I love this!!! sounds like something my husband would say!0 -
Well said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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Love this. While I want to get healthier, I never want to lose my curves - I like being shapely.0
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When you’re a thicker woman, people like to say "yeah, she's cute in the face", as if being thick is such a disgrace. Honey, I’m cute in the face, and I’m thick in the waist. I look good whether I’m in cotton, leather, or lace. I’m beautiful, vibrant and above all, smart! Yes my clothes maybe a bigger size, that just means you have access to a bigger prize. We all are not self-conscious about our weight, and we never have a problem getting a date. So don’t think your small frame gives you more pull, I’m a hot, sexy, curvy woman with a figure that's full!!
So tired of people judging people for the size they are!! BE REAL PEOPLE!
^^^ This...
I'm not sure I've ever seen it said any better...0 -
That's because it came from the heart.
Damn good posting Christi, bloody excellent actually xxx
Thank you. 0
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