I think my husband is trying to keep me fat.....

Lt_Starbuck

Sorry - that sucks.

At least it's you that's controlling what you eat and not him! Small victories!

IAMSHELOCK

My suggestion, take the "crap" he is buying and THROW IT IN THE GARBAGE as soon as he brings it in the door!! He'll get the message. Go to the store by yourself and make healthy food choices. If he doesn't want to eat healthy that's fine, but don't bring it in the house. 'Nuf said.

Yep.... I did the exact same thing when I began my weight loss journey. My hubby's attitude was just because I wanted to eat better didn't mean he had to. The compromise was if he wanted junk food, then he would buy a single serving for him. And if I saw junk food on the counter, it went in the trash.... Boy did we have some heated arguments about me pitching junk he bought. However, I told him it's his dollar. If you want it wasted, leave it on the counter. End of story. Give your hubby fair warning of the trash. And stick to it because I'm 100% positive he WILL test you. Good luck dear!!!! And keep us posted.

fcp1234

Why does he have to stop eating because you are trying to lose weight?
Grow up!

jen_bd6

Just avoid it.... my fiance brings home crap all the time... I just avoid it. Does it irritate me? yes... but I can't expect him to NEVER eat what he wants just because I want to watch my food intake and lose weight. It was hard at first, but I can now.... Just because you are wanting to watch what you eat doesn't mean he has to. You have to learn to say no and have the will power to not indulge. I know it's hard, but it can be done.... It's not about him... you have to make this about you and take charge and ownership for you ability to (or not to) avoid the bad stuff.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Here is a little story that may help you to see things from a different perspective. About 12 years ago, I partook of the typical American diet. I indulged in sweets, ate lots of salty snacks (mmm... salties), ate a lot of processed foods, had to have meat with every meal. When my wife and I would look at the serving sizes, we would jokingly laugh about how those were not human sized portions. We would make some starchy processed food that was tasty (fried, or made with processed ingredients) and see that it said serves 6 and demolish it between the 2 of us. The only vegetable that rarely graced our dinner table was starchy vegetables (potatoes or corn). It was pretty bad. I knew it wasn't the ideal diet, but it was what was workng for us.

Then one day, she met this lady who was totally into holistic everything. My wife started haging out with her, and the new friend started sharing her ideas with my wife. Next thing I know, I'm sitting down to "meals" of pitas stuffed with avacados, sprouts, onions, broccoli, tomatoes and peppers. I was thinking to myself, "Nice side dish. Where's the meat?" My wife started reading all of these books about good and healthy eating. Her friend was a complete vegan. I kept looking at the whole family, and they and their kids all looked emaciated. I thought, "that can't be healthy." I dug my feet in. I didn't like it at all. I liked the way my starch and meaty meals tasted. I loved deep fat fried foods. I loved my salty snacks. My wife was just coming in and trying all kinds of new stuff that to me was either way too expensive, or way too bland. Whole wheat cookies were gross. Spinach pasta, couldn't take it. I would just make my own food, and let her have that crap.

After a while, we talked. We compromised. We had one meatless meal a day. I soon learned to like some of the things like brown rice. She learned how to jazz it up to be something I might eat. Unfortunately, it didn't last. Budgets being what they were, and hectic growing boys schedules put a hamper on our having home cooked meals, and buying healthy foods. We fell back into our old ways. Worse. We weren't even really having family meals anymore.

Anyway, last year, I was diagnosed with prediabetes. My lifestyle had finally caught up with me. I realized I needed to do something. I tried to talk with her, and failed. So, I went ahead and did it by myself. She complains that it's not fair as I didn't support her when she tried to make our family healthy, and now I am totally into healthy eating. I am not perfect in my healthy eating, but I do what I can. When she comes home from the fast food place with food for her and the kids, I just mke myself a salad, or cook a chicken breast and throw it in some veggies with some ginger, soy, and cornstarch. When she brings home cookies, I just make some popcorn, or go in the bedroom and read.

My whole point with this is that you can't control your partner. You also have to realize that they may not be in the same place you are. You need to accept the fact that the only one you can change and control is you. If he is not ready yet, be strong. If you want him to stop "sabotaging" you, sit down and talk about the changes you want to make together. Work out a resonable compromise that you can both live with. Make the changes gradually, and invite him to come along. Don't just walk in and expect him to change just because you are.

KANGOOJUMPS

he wants to keep you fat so you will stay with him/

fitgal05

It's funny that you wrote this because I constantly tell people that I think my husband is trying to keep me fat too! He'll want to go out to eat, and at places I find hard to stay on my diet at. Or he'll have a drink waiting for me when I get home, on days I want to go running. Idk if he is intimidated by my weight loss or what the deal is.

olores

My husband thinks I will divorce him as soon as I feel sexy with my body. He keeps asking me to buy junk food and he makes me feel bad when I spend time on my phone logging my food on MFP. At the restaurants, he gets on my case loud enough for others to hear. If I leave him, it won't be because I look and feel good, it's because of his insecureness and his assholeness.

Hear ya!!

Fatguy2Fitguy

I've got to say having a supportive partner can make a HUGE difference. My wife is not only supportive but her diet has become better than mine and has lost loads of weight too!

It was way harder to eat right before she decided to make a change in her diet / lifestyle.

I hope you (and everyone else) finally get him to see the light and give you the support you deserve!

The1iceQueen

My husband isn't a healthy eater. He eats all kinds of junk food. I don't let it bother me. There are shelves full of debbie cakes, pop tarts, cake, pastries, ice cream, etc. But I have my healthy foods just as much and I have no problem sticking with my food, though I've been eating like this for years now. He's not trying to force feed me the junk food so it's not a problem for me, I suppose you just have to be strong willed.

That said, I think you should sit down and talk to your husband about your feelings and what it does to you. If you can't communicate with your significant other, you can't get it sorted out. Good luck to you, hope he listens.

gettingtomygoal83

I'm sorry u have a husband who isnt supportive, u should talk too him about it like really sit down tell himk ur feelings on why u wanna loose weight and how much his support would mean too you and ask him why he keeps doing this?.. I hope he smartens up and supports u, I couldnt imagine what that would be like, my husband has been very supportive of me and that helps this journey along, even last weeekend he wanted too order pizza bad from his fave pizza joint and didnt because he was like " it would be unfair too you too have too sit here and watch while i get too eat pizza"... but i do have a friend who comes over with junk food and eats it in my face and says stuff like " mmm this is so good " and will tease me with food and thats more annoying than anything. good luck with ur journey i too have a lot of weight too shed so i hear ya girl

gfiorine

I think you and your husband are both being passive aggressive and not communicating. Obviously you want to lose weight and eat healthy...he on the other hand only wants his lifestyle and eating habits stay the same. You both have a right to do this...but you don't have to do it together. I don't see how he should change because you're on a diet. I'm a single dad...I don't expect my kids to eat only healthy foods. I buy my kids ice cream, candy, chocolate, cake...and i don't touch it. I have the Greek yoghurt. However, he seems to go out of his way to force you to give up by putting tempting food in front of you. You need to sit down with him and come to an agreement. He can eat whatever crap he wants as long as he doesn't shove it in your face and you will not expect him to join your healthy diet.

Lt_Starbuck

just as a side note - does he know youre discussing this in print in a public online forum with a picture of yourself on a site with about 2 million people? just curious.