girls who hit on guys who are taken (or vice versa)

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Rachiewoowoo
Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
in Chit-Chat
One: Is this wrong?

Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?

Opinions.
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Replies

  • craignev
    craignev Posts: 1,247 Member
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    Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.
  • skierxjes
    skierxjes Posts: 938 Member
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    I see a LOT of this, on here especially and I think it's wrong. The compliment on occasion? Sure, that's fine, but flat out flirting with/hitting on someone that's taken or the person that is taken doing the flirting is wrong.
  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
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    Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.
    Nothing is wrong with hitting? Isn't there a moral problem with respecting boundaries?
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    I don't really think people 'allow themselves to be hit on'. It happens regardless.

    A simple 'thankyou' should be where it ends for the most part. Otherwise you'd pretty much be playing into it, and therefor allowing it to continue.

    If that makes any sense.
  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
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    I see a LOT of this, on here especially and I think it's wrong. The compliment on occasion? Sure, that's fine, but flat out flirting with/hitting on someone that's taken or the person that is taken doing the flirting is wrong.
    So you think *both* are at fault. compromise. :laugh:
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    I think it's the intent behind the hitting on...I regularly "hit on" people on MFP (male/female married/single) and it's a funny joke and everyone knows it. I think if it goes beyond the joke aspect there is a problem, but I think that each relationship is different and has a different thresh hold for such a thing.
  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
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    I don't really think people 'allow themselves to be hit on'. It happens regardless.

    A simple 'thankyou' should be where it ends for the most part. Otherwise you'd pretty much be playing into it, and therefor allowing it to continue.

    If that makes any sense.
    By allow, I mean by accepting and allowing it to continue. Obviously nothing can be done to stop the initial compliment/flirt.

    That makes sense. I agree.
  • 1996gtstang
    1996gtstang Posts: 279 Member
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    its all on the person thats "taken" they are the one that has to be trustworthy
  • craignev
    craignev Posts: 1,247 Member
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    Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.
    Nothing is wrong with hitting? Isn't there a moral problem with respecting boundaries?

    Well I should imagine that a majority of people on here are losing weight for vanity so being hit upon would be taken as flattery. To then act upon that is, IMHO, wrong.
  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
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    I think it's the intent behind the hitting on...I regularly "hit on" people on MFP (male/female married/single) and it's a funny joke and everyone knows it. I think if it goes beyond the joke aspect there is a problem, but I think that each relationship is different and has a different thresh hold for such a thing.
    I know what you mean. I often "hit on" (hahah) girls not just on MFP, but on a lot of social networking places because it's just hilarious and everyone does know that it's a joke. But.. then again, I don't think I would call that "flirting" or "hitting on", just because flirting, to me, has a very specific definition.. with a very obvious and specific intent.
  • Dexy_
    Dexy_ Posts: 593 Member
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    If someone hits on someone who they KNOW are in a relationship they are in the wrong.

    That being said, if you are in a relationship and "allow" the hitting, by flirting back ect, you are also in the wrong.

    Just my opinion.
  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
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    Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.
    Nothing is wrong with hitting? Isn't there a moral problem with respecting boundaries?

    Well I should imagine that a majority of people on here are losing weight for vanity so being hit upon would be taken as flattery. To then act upon that is, IMHO, wrong.
    I think we have different definitions of flirting and being hit on. To me, complimenting is fine (especially, like you said, on a site that promotes a certain body image). My idea of "allowing" to be flirted with is not the initial "thank you" after being dealt a compliment, but rather allowing the *continuation* of flirting (basically acting upon it). And, jsyk, there are people who direct this vanity towards a significant other (like myself :smile:)
  • bigaussiebloke
    bigaussiebloke Posts: 257 Member
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    I don't think I have ever been hit on? or hit on anyone... So I got nuthin!....
  • Dexy_
    Dexy_ Posts: 593 Member
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    I don't think I have ever been hit on? or hit on anyone... So I got nuthin!....

    Me too mate!
  • bcc112986
    bcc112986 Posts: 362 Member
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    One: To flirt with someone in a relationship is not the highest moral ground but I can say we all do it at some time or another.

    Two: It is the fault of both parties. The person flirting for crossing the line. And the person being flirted with for not speaking up for their relationship.
  • davidclooney
    davidclooney Posts: 21
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    If someone hits on someone who they KNOW are in a relationship they are in the wrong.

    That being said, if you are in a relationship and "allow" the hitting, by flirting back ect, you are also in the wrong.

    Just my opinion.

    Agreed!
  • sm0113
    sm0113 Posts: 89 Member
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    If someone hits on someone who they KNOW are in a relationship they are in the wrong.

    That being said, if you are in a relationship and "allow" the hitting, by flirting back ect, you are also in the wrong.

    Just my opinion.

    I agree!
  • JulieH3art
    JulieH3art Posts: 293 Member
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    There's nothing wrong with flirting a little. It's knowing where to draw the line. It can't be overly suggestive, and is more or less in jest if one or both parts are taken. Flirting in good humour is fine.

    Hitting on someone as in trying to bring them home if you or they are in a relationship is despicable.
  • Dexy_
    Dexy_ Posts: 593 Member
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    Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.

    If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.

    If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.
  • ash190489
    ash190489 Posts: 587 Member
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    One: Is this wrong?

    Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?

    Opinions.

    People are going to hit on others if they are unaware that the other person is in fact taken. There is nothing wrong in that. However, if the person is aware that that person has a partner, then that is when it is wrong! But who are they to care if they don't know the partner personally - to them they're just having a bit of fun? I don't agree with it, I would never do it. I have a partner myself and we've been together for almost 7 years. If he gets hit on I just try and take it as a compliment now - woo I have a hot boyfriend that others want & can't have & he is mine! However, the issue would become U-G-L-Y if my boyfriend retaliated or encouraged this behaviour. It's not his fault that he got hit on, but if he doesn't make her aware of my existence or does the hitting - then prepare for war! :explode: :laugh:

    I have to admit - it's a mega compliment getting hit on! Confidence booster. Nothing wrong with that!

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