girls who hit on guys who are taken (or vice versa)
Rachiewoowoo
Posts: 142
One: Is this wrong?
Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?
Opinions.
Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?
Opinions.
0
Replies
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Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.0
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I see a LOT of this, on here especially and I think it's wrong. The compliment on occasion? Sure, that's fine, but flat out flirting with/hitting on someone that's taken or the person that is taken doing the flirting is wrong.0
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Nothing is wrong with hitting? Isn't there a moral problem with respecting boundaries?Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.0 -
I don't really think people 'allow themselves to be hit on'. It happens regardless.
A simple 'thankyou' should be where it ends for the most part. Otherwise you'd pretty much be playing into it, and therefor allowing it to continue.
If that makes any sense.0 -
So you think *both* are at fault. compromise. :laugh:I see a LOT of this, on here especially and I think it's wrong. The compliment on occasion? Sure, that's fine, but flat out flirting with/hitting on someone that's taken or the person that is taken doing the flirting is wrong.0 -
I think it's the intent behind the hitting on...I regularly "hit on" people on MFP (male/female married/single) and it's a funny joke and everyone knows it. I think if it goes beyond the joke aspect there is a problem, but I think that each relationship is different and has a different thresh hold for such a thing.0
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By allow, I mean by accepting and allowing it to continue. Obviously nothing can be done to stop the initial compliment/flirt.I don't really think people 'allow themselves to be hit on'. It happens regardless.
A simple 'thankyou' should be where it ends for the most part. Otherwise you'd pretty much be playing into it, and therefor allowing it to continue.
If that makes any sense.
That makes sense. I agree.0 -
its all on the person thats "taken" they are the one that has to be trustworthy0
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Nothing is wrong with hitting? Isn't there a moral problem with respecting boundaries?Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.
Well I should imagine that a majority of people on here are losing weight for vanity so being hit upon would be taken as flattery. To then act upon that is, IMHO, wrong.0 -
I know what you mean. I often "hit on" (hahah) girls not just on MFP, but on a lot of social networking places because it's just hilarious and everyone does know that it's a joke. But.. then again, I don't think I would call that "flirting" or "hitting on", just because flirting, to me, has a very specific definition.. with a very obvious and specific intent.I think it's the intent behind the hitting on...I regularly "hit on" people on MFP (male/female married/single) and it's a funny joke and everyone knows it. I think if it goes beyond the joke aspect there is a problem, but I think that each relationship is different and has a different thresh hold for such a thing.0 -
If someone hits on someone who they KNOW are in a relationship they are in the wrong.
That being said, if you are in a relationship and "allow" the hitting, by flirting back ect, you are also in the wrong.
Just my opinion.0 -
I think we have different definitions of flirting and being hit on. To me, complimenting is fine (especially, like you said, on a site that promotes a certain body image). My idea of "allowing" to be flirted with is not the initial "thank you" after being dealt a compliment, but rather allowing the *continuation* of flirting (basically acting upon it). And, jsyk, there are people who direct this vanity towards a significant other (like myself
Nothing is wrong with hitting? Isn't there a moral problem with respecting boundaries?Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.
Well I should imagine that a majority of people on here are losing weight for vanity so being hit upon would be taken as flattery. To then act upon that is, IMHO, wrong.
) 0 -
I don't think I have ever been hit on? or hit on anyone... So I got nuthin!....0
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I don't think I have ever been hit on? or hit on anyone... So I got nuthin!....
Me too mate!0 -
One: To flirt with someone in a relationship is not the highest moral ground but I can say we all do it at some time or another.
Two: It is the fault of both parties. The person flirting for crossing the line. And the person being flirted with for not speaking up for their relationship.0 -
If someone hits on someone who they KNOW are in a relationship they are in the wrong.
That being said, if you are in a relationship and "allow" the hitting, by flirting back ect, you are also in the wrong.
Just my opinion.
Agreed!0 -
If someone hits on someone who they KNOW are in a relationship they are in the wrong.
That being said, if you are in a relationship and "allow" the hitting, by flirting back ect, you are also in the wrong.
Just my opinion.
I agree!0 -
There's nothing wrong with flirting a little. It's knowing where to draw the line. It can't be overly suggestive, and is more or less in jest if one or both parts are taken. Flirting in good humour is fine.
Hitting on someone as in trying to bring them home if you or they are in a relationship is despicable.0 -
Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.
If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.
If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.0 -
One: Is this wrong?
Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?
Opinions.
People are going to hit on others if they are unaware that the other person is in fact taken. There is nothing wrong in that. However, if the person is aware that that person has a partner, then that is when it is wrong! But who are they to care if they don't know the partner personally - to them they're just having a bit of fun? I don't agree with it, I would never do it. I have a partner myself and we've been together for almost 7 years. If he gets hit on I just try and take it as a compliment now - woo I have a hot boyfriend that others want & can't have & he is mine! However, the issue would become U-G-L-Y if my boyfriend retaliated or encouraged this behaviour. It's not his fault that he got hit on, but if he doesn't make her aware of my existence or does the hitting - then prepare for war! :explode: :laugh:
I have to admit - it's a mega compliment getting hit on! Confidence booster. Nothing wrong with that!0 -
THIS.Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.
If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.
If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.
This is exactly the mindset people should be in when being flirted on/flirting. :flowerforyou:0 -
Exactly :laugh: Congratulations on 7 years by the way!!One: Is this wrong?
Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?
Opinions.
People are going to hit on others if they are unaware that the other person is in fact taken. There is nothing wrong in that. However, if the person is aware that that person has a partner, then that is when it is wrong! But who are they to care if they don't know the partner personally - to them they're just having a bit of fun? I don't agree with it, I would never do it. I have a partner myself and we've been together for almost 7 years. If he gets hit on I just try and take it as a compliment now - woo I have a hot boyfriend that others want & can't have & he is mine! However, the issue would become U-G-L-Y if my boyfriend retaliated or encouraged this behaviour. It's not his fault that he got hit on, but if he doesn't make her aware of my existence or does the hitting - then prepare for war! :explode: :laugh:
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Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!0 -
Other people and I had this same differing of definitions of flirting. I find that complimenting once on a person's body, because you want to congratulate them or simply say what's on your mind is perfectly fine... but taking that, and doing that continuously with the intention of attracting the other person is not okay. Flirting, in that definition is not harmless, in fact, it could potentially do a lot of harm, depending on the strength of a relationship.Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!
I don't understand what you mean by dead. I don't think being able to tell someone that they're hot is the deciding factor of living and non-living.
Js.0 -
Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!
not flirting back doesnt mean you're dead...what...you need to flirt to feel "ALIVE".....flirting isn't harmless if you are taken, it is detrimental to the relationship, you are disrespecting your significant other and it is despicable...0 -
Other people and I had this same differing of definitions of flirting. I find that complimenting once on a person's body, because you want to congratulate them or simply say what's on your mind is perfectly fine... but taking that, and doing that continuously with the intention of attracting the other person is not okay. Flirting, in that definition is not harmless, in fact, it could potentially do a lot of harm, depending on the strength of a relationship.Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!
I don't understand what you mean by dead. I don't think being able to tell someone that they're hot is the deciding factor of living and non-living.
Js.
Given that this was posted under the "fun and games" section of the messages boards, I would imagine that some of what's been written isn't meant to be taken completely literally. I'm completely aware that it's not a deciding factor of living and non-living; "dead" meaning you are still able to appreciate someone that's easy on the eyes; just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that appreciation goes away. I don't think commenting offhand on it, or flirting a little bit, is a bad thing. Obviously it will vary person to person, and like other people have said it all depends on your comfort level, but I don't think it comes down to black and white, right and wrong.
Despicable? Wow. I guess I'm despicable then.0 -
I don't think I have ever been hit on? or hit on anyone... So I got nuthin!....
Me too mate!
Snap.0 -
For those who are in the relationship it depends on the specifics and boundaries within the relationship, I do not think there can be a hard and fast one size fits all rule. With that being said hitting on (gentle flirting) with someone in a relationship cannot always be bad.
It is down to the person in the relationship to make their boundaries clear to the person who is not in a relationship.0 -
Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.
Other people and I had this same differing of definitions of flirting. I find that complimenting once on a person's body, because you want to congratulate them or simply say what's on your mind is perfectly fine... but taking that, and doing that continuously with the intention of attracting the other person is not okay. Flirting, in that definition is not harmless, in fact, it could potentially do a lot of harm, depending on the strength of a relationship.Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!
I don't understand what you mean by dead. I don't think being able to tell someone that they're hot is the deciding factor of living and non-living.
Js.
Given that this was posted under the "fun and games" section of the messages boards, I would imagine that a lot written isn't meant to be taken completely literally. I'm completely aware that it's not a deciding factor of living and non-living; "dead" meaning you are still able to appreciate someone that's easy on the eyes; just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that appreciation goes away. I don't think commenting offhand on it, or flirting, is a bad thing. Obviously it will vary person to person, and like other people have said it all depends on your comfort level, but I don't think it comes down to black and white, right and wrong.
Despicable? Wow. I guess I'm despicable then.
Appreciation shouldn't go away, but it should be concentrated more on your significant other. There will never be a black and white line, but the grey area here should be easier to navigate through than most.
Also, I wasn't the one who said despicable =____= can you post to the right person, please?0 -
Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.
Appreciation shouldn't go away, but it should be concentrated more on your significant other. There will never be a black and white line, but the grey area here should be easier to navigate through than most.
Also, I wasn't the one who said despicable =____= can you post to the right person, please?
Pretty sure a rant re: anti-semitism wouldn't be posted under "fun and games", but that's just my opinion. Try lightening up a little!0
This discussion has been closed.
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