girls who hit on guys who are taken (or vice versa)

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  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
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    You can't control what another person does... you can only control your reaction towards it. If you are "taken" then find it as a compliment and move on.
  • carrie1013
    carrie1013 Posts: 129
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    I don't really think anything of it...I think that life is complicated enough, and when you've found the right person, that's it. It doesn't matter who flirts, compliments, or whatever on your page, because frankly it's the web, and I don't take any of this seriously. I'm confident enough to know that I chose my wife because she's the best of everything I'm looking for. I know there's noone else who's really gonna put up with me being me the way I am. So, if I compliment or "flirt" with someone else, I know it means nothing. Also, I'm confident enough in myself to know that I'm the best for her, that any flirting, bantering, or otherwise from her end to others (and believe me, I know it happens, even with her bosses, coworkers, friends, you name it) is just that, and it ends there, because even she knows that there's noone else who's gonna put up with how she is either. We bring out the best in each other. I think the underlying issue is people's insecurities....If you really are the best for your partner, and they really are the best for you, there's nothing to worry about, ever.

    Very well said, I agree completely
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
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    It is morally wrong to hit on someone who is already taken.

    However I don't get #2. Why would it be the fault of someone who gets hit on? If you act on it then you are wrong as well (and worse than the person from #1), but the mere act of getting hit on doesn't mean you are morally wrong at all.

    Good point. I misread/misinterpreted the second question possibly.

    I thought it meant if the 'hitting on' was reciprocated or more specifically...'acted upon'.

    If the person knows someone is taken, then it's wrong to pursue it.
    If the person being hit on accepts and acts upon it, then they are most definitely wrong too!

    If someone is being hit on, it's not their fault. They can't help someone else's actions, .....they can only control their's

    Do you think the person who reciprocates is worse than the person who is hitting on them? I do. I think their responsibility to being faithful to their own significant other is much greater than the person outside of that relationship not to interfere. So for that reason I don't get the people who have more anger at the mistress than they do at their own cheating partner.
  • sallywilson06
    sallywilson06 Posts: 269 Member
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    Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.
    Nothing is wrong with hitting? Isn't there a moral problem with respecting boundaries?

    There is nothing wrong with hitting on someone if you are not aware that they are in a relationship. If you do know then you are just as guilty as the receiving end!
  • maserati185
    maserati185 Posts: 263 Member
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    I would say "flirting" is just about as interpretive as poetry or a painting. We all see it different ways. If my husband doesn't care and I don't care, I certainly don't care what anyone else's thoughts are on it.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    I would say "flirting" is just about as interpretive as poetry or a painting. We all see it different ways. If my husband doesn't care and I don't care, I certainly don't care what anyone else's thoughts are on it.

    THIS
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    One: Is this wrong?

    Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?

    Opinions.

    Allows themselves to be hit on? How can the person that was hit on be at fault? How do you blame the victim?

    If the guy takes her up on it, then he's at fault, otherwise it's like saying to the gil that was date-raped,"You know you wanted it."
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    Example......Your partner is with you on MFP and they see men commenting on your profile constantly....calling you beautiful...sexy....etc and YOU say nothing to these men...acting as if its ok or as if you are single..and YOU know your partner clearly has a problem with it but you continue to let it happen because you dont want to seem rude or hurt these mens feelings....I say screw their feelings your partners feelings should matter most....sorry just ranting LOL

    Can't agree with this. A comment on MFP is a harmless appreciation of someone's work. Heck, I'd have to take my pictures off FB and MFP.

    Howeve, arranging to meet someone off MFP is not ok LOL
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    No it's not wrong, and it's no one's fault. There is NOTHING wrong with harmless flirting.
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
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    Example......Your partner is with you on MFP and they see men commenting on your profile constantly....calling you beautiful...sexy....etc and YOU say nothing to these men...acting as if its ok or as if you are single..and YOU know your partner clearly has a problem with it but you continue to let it happen because you dont want to seem rude or hurt these mens feelings....I say screw their feelings your partners feelings should matter most....sorry just ranting LOL

    Can't agree with this. A comment on MFP is a harmless appreciation of someone's work. Heck, I'd have to take my pictures off FB and MFP.

    Howeve, arranging to meet someone off MFP is not ok LOL

    Right I don't think the partner should be obligated to say something about the guys calling her sexy on her profile. However if she had a co-worker emailing her those things regularly that would be a completely different story and she should tell him to stop.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    I don't intentionally do it, but it has happened. I appreciate when someone lets me know they are taken and they are actually honest about it.

    The problem is that many women abuse the system and as a result, it gets more difficult. If a woman tells me she is taken, it is normal for guys not to believe it, since that line has been used so many times. A man will think that is a woman playing hard to get (when she actually is available with the right effort), or that she is just saying that as an excuse to get out of a conversation because she doesn't like the man. Guys have to decipher context, and guys are not necessarily good at that.

    Mostly any way it is sliced, it is not worth perusing any further. Just move on.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
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    Hitting on someone thru the internet or in real life?

    Hitting on someone with the intent of harmless flirting or looking for a score?

    Is flirting with someone automatically assumed as hitting on them?
  • BreezyLuv
    BreezyLuv Posts: 49
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    You can't stop the person who is doing the compliments other than saying thank you and leaving it at that but I will say, ESPECIALLY on a site like this where people are showing weight loss pictures and showing their bodily changes... OF COURSE you are going to get hit on. You have to ask yourself what is too far and what is your boundary for your relationship. I trust my partner COMPLETELY and if he were ont hsi site and complimented another female, so what.. I know that at the end of the day we are together and it was the internet. No big deal. Nothing can harm our relationship. I know he feels the same way. We often times talk about girls he finds attractive or men I find attractive. I know that when the sun goes down, as long as we're still in this together then there is no harm done. At the end of the day I'm all he wants and needs.
  • DyannAlvarez
    DyannAlvarez Posts: 162 Member
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    Respect people!! It's that easy! Of course it's wrong - to hit on someone who's "taken" and to go along with it if you're the "taken" one. When did this issue become convoluted? Really? We've come that far that we're not sure anymore? I will respect your relationship with your SO, you respect mine. How about that?!
  • UnderConstructionLuis
    UnderConstructionLuis Posts: 331
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    Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?

    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!

    Amen!
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    No it's not wrong, and it's no one's fault. There is NOTHING wrong with harmless flirting.
    agreed
  • Miss♥Ivi
    Miss♥Ivi Posts: 461
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    <---Natural flirt. My partner knows this and has absolutely no problem with it. My type of personality is what attracted him to me in the first place.

    flirting - present participle of flirt (Verb)
    Verb:
    Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but without serious intentions: "it amused him to flirt with her".
    Experiment with or show a superficial interest in (an idea, activity, or movement) without committing oneself to it seriously.
  • 412HeavyLifter
    412HeavyLifter Posts: 170 Member
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    Respect people!! It's that easy! Of course it's wrong - to hit on someone who's "taken" and to go along with it if you're the "taken" one. When did this issue become convoluted? Really? We've come that far that we're not sure anymore? I will respect your relationship with your SO, you respect mine. How about that?!


    Agreed!
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    Respect people!! It's that easy! Of course it's wrong - to hit on someone who's "taken" and to go along with it if you're the "taken" one. When did this issue become convoluted? Really? We've come that far that we're not sure anymore? I will respect your relationship with your SO, you respect mine. How about that?!

    Sounds boring. :noway:
  • _greeneyedgirl_
    _greeneyedgirl_ Posts: 84
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    Example......Your partner is with you on MFP and they see men commenting on your profile constantly....calling you beautiful...sexy....etc and YOU say nothing to these men...acting as if its ok or as if you are single..and YOU know your partner clearly has a problem with it but you continue to let it happen because you dont want to seem rude or hurt these mens feelings....I say screw their feelings your partners feelings should matter most....sorry just ranting LOL

    It doesn't matter what anyone else's opinion is. It matters that it bothered you. And if she really loved you, she wouldn't want to do anything that bothered you. It's very simple. Make it clear to the men on your friends list that you are with someone and don't want to make that person feel uncomfortable, ask them not to say things like that to you.

    I really have to question why she needed this affirmation from other people. There's only one person I care about calling me beautiful and sexy. I don't need to hear it from anyone else.

    If that was me, my partner's feelings are way more important then what some random person on the net is telling me.

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