girls who hit on guys who are taken (or vice versa)

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  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    If only the person getting hit on is taken and says nothing, them.

    If both people (the person hit on and the person doing the hitting on) know that a said person is taken and still tries to hit on taken person, both.

    If the person trying it on knows the person is taken and the person who is taken and is not trying it on but in a weakened position, the hitter.

    Iif that makes sense! :laugh: :bigsmile:
  • jodee_donavan
    jodee_donavan Posts: 51 Member
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    A mom at our children's school told my husband "Hey! We should get the kids together for a play date." with a playful and VERY flirty "I'm not thinking about the kids" gesture--- he told her "No. I don't think my wife would like that!" and walked away.:laugh:

    Seriously in the moment of learning he said that- I loved him even more!:love:
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
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    I am very open, touchy, cuddly, etc...and I say none of it is "bad" or "cheating", until it goes that extra step.

    I will talk naughty with guys, make comments, give and accept flirting.

    I have a male friend that I can cuddle on the couch with, use him as my pillow, give hugs, and yes, there is sexual tension there, and yes, if I was single we would have acted on it by now. But I'm not, so no hands have gone anywhere where a bathing suit touches and that's where the line is drawn.
    Good enough...
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    If you know someone is taken and you are hitting on them, you're a horrible human being.

    If you are taken and you encourage someone to flirt with you, you are also a horrible human being.

    Otherwise, no harm, no foul.
  • rcc1988
    rcc1988 Posts: 125 Member
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    Hitting on someone you KNOW is taken is definitely pretty...questionable. I think it depends whether you're just someone with a naturally flirtatious personality, or whether you're seriously trying to get them in the sack despite knowing they're taken. And obviously it goes from "questionable ethics" to "downright scummy" if the person you know they're dating is a friend of your's, since at that point it becomes a betrayal of trust.

    As for the person being hit ON, it's hard to say. Some people honestly don't recognize they're being hit on, or don't have the courage to say, "Hey, you're not hitting on me, are you? Because you know I'm taken..." especially if the person is being really subtle.

    Its one of those things where it all depends on the people involved and their personalities and what they "allow" and what they don't and what they see as casual flirtation and what they see as a serious move. It's definitely a case-by-case-basis sort of situation, imo.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    If a person hits on another person and the person hitting on the other knows that they are taken, that person is, in my opinion, a disrespectful toe rag and they are very much in the wrong for being a disrespectful toe rag.

    If a person is hit on by another person and they are already taken, and they acknowledge and enforce and promote their being hit on, they are also disrespectful toe rags.

    The disclaimer on this is if the person is in an open relationship (where open relationship is defined as both members of the relationship knowing and agreeing that it is an open relationship)

    Flirting to me is also not hitting on. Hitting on are things crossing the line such as asking someone out on a date, asking someone to jump in bed, etc... things that would make the partner of the person in the relationship upset and hurt if they found out.

    I have a low tolerance for cheating and cheaters.
  • _greeneyedgirl_
    _greeneyedgirl_ Posts: 84
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    I would never disrespect my SO in that way. I may joke around but I mean nothing by it. If someone tried to hit on me, I'd tell them that homie don't play that way.
  • lad9669
    lad9669 Posts: 20
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    I was always too stupid to even know if someone was hitting on me. We moved to a new town when I was in fifth grade and I basically was ostricized until my jr or sr year in High School. So if anyone acted iterested I thought they were trying to pull a Carrie or something. If I hit on someone who was taken later in life it would be that I didnt know better or I was too to realize.
  • zipperhead76
    zipperhead76 Posts: 60 Member
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    It depends on the goal of the person doing the hitting on... I flirt alot. even with taken people. But I don't chase a taken women. And I'll never do anything with someone that is taken. I stop it before it begins. But I have a flirtatious nature/personality. I don't think bad of people who do it. I don't get jealous when other men would hit on my girlfriend (now ex). I see it as a compliment. And that was one thing that my gf liked about me. No jealousy, no fuss. I told her from the begining that I was a flirt and that I would never cheat on her. I guess it's in the eye of the beholder....
  • spectralmoon
    spectralmoon Posts: 1,230 Member
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    There's nothing wrong with flirting a little. It's knowing where to draw the line. It can't be overly suggestive, and is more or less in jest if one or both parts are taken. Flirting in good humour is fine.

    That's up to the couple in question.

    Not a fan of people trying to "test the waters" with those that are committed, and less of a fan of those that welcome it.
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.

    If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.

    If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.

    This exactly. I talk to men when I'm out with the girls - all innocent. I talk to men when I'm with my husband too and he talks to women... mostly it's people we already know, but if a man hit on me when my husband was say in the bathroom, he'd probably just be amused. It's about boundaries and trust. My husband knows I would never allow someone to cross the line and vice versa. If someone is "hitting" on me I make it clear I am married and have no interest in anything more than a conversation and some laughs - all of which my husband would be OK with. Sometimes the guy will then take off, but often they hang out still... even ask for advice after about approaching the single girl across the bar. Most men are decent and respectful once you make it understood you are taken and not interested. My husband will talk to anyone... he's just that friendly type, so him talking with women wouldn't/doesn't bother me. If a woman tried to cross the line with him I know he would take care of it himself immediately. I trust him 100%. That's really what it's all about.
  • 412HeavyLifter
    412HeavyLifter Posts: 170 Member
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    One: To flirt with someone in a relationship is not the highest moral ground but I can say we all do it at some time or another.

    Two: It is the fault of both parties. The person flirting for crossing the line. And the person being flirted with for not speaking up for their relationship.
    I agree. The person being hit on should respect their relationship and not allow the flirting or flattery to continue. I find it highly disrespectful especially if your partner doesn't like it.
  • 412HeavyLifter
    412HeavyLifter Posts: 170 Member
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    I would never disrespect my SO in that way. I may joke around but I mean nothing by it. If someone tried to hit on me, I'd tell them that homie don't play that way.
    love those beautiful green eyes :-)
  • JulieH3art
    JulieH3art Posts: 293 Member
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    There's nothing wrong with flirting a little. It's knowing where to draw the line. It can't be overly suggestive, and is more or less in jest if one or both parts are taken. Flirting in good humour is fine.

    That's up to the couple in question.

    Not a fan of people trying to "test the waters" with those that are committed, and less of a fan of those that welcome it.

    Hence, knowing where to draw the line :) The more adapt you are at picking up on social clues the easier that'll be.

    I was at a party a couple of months ago with my boyfriend, where a girl literally THREW herself at him. After he made it clear to her he had a girlfriend, she kept touching him and saying things like "All the guys I fancy have girlfriends" and pouting and when he left her to go talk to other people she would seek him out. It got so bad he eventually had to push her off and tell her, "you're psycho".

    I wanted to effing kill her. I was so angry. I was RIGHT THERE. How can a girl have such little respect for other women!?

    So, I'm not for trying to bag somebody else's guy or girl. Far from it. I detest cheating on any level.

    But, I think it's important to see things for what they are, and a conversation that's friendly and a little flirty I see nothing wrong with.
  • CardiacNP
    CardiacNP Posts: 554 Member
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    but the "game" the 'flirt" and the "banter" to a limit is and can be fun. But i do believe there are "lines" and 'rules" not to be crossed
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    MWM, 42, Blonde/Blue, 5'-11", 204.5 lbs, ISO...oh wait...wrong forum!

    I'm a terrible flirt. It's gotten me into trouble. Particularly back when I was drinking. I'm better now. Somewhat. But I'm still wildly inappropriate. Alweays have been and always will be. Even stone cold sober.

    As far as I'm concerned it's a two-way street: it's the responsibility of the flirter to back off once the flirtee has established boundaries. BUT it is the responsibility of the flirtee to establish those boundaries.

    Don't assume everyone knows your boundaries and don't assume that there is some arbitrary set of boundaries that applies equally actross the spectrum.
  • BeautifulRedButterfly
    BeautifulRedButterfly Posts: 316 Member
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    Compliments here & there are nice..but flirting....noooooooooooooooooo!!!
    The person who is at fault is the one who's taken & allowing the flirting to continue happening
  • _greeneyedgirl_
    _greeneyedgirl_ Posts: 84
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    I would never disrespect my SO in that way. I may joke around but I mean nothing by it. If someone tried to hit on me, I'd tell them that homie don't play that way.
    love those beautiful green eyes :-)

    Are you trying to hit on me?
  • 412HeavyLifter
    412HeavyLifter Posts: 170 Member
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    I'm trying to do more than hit ......lol. I love you baby
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    I was at a party a couple of months ago with my boyfriend, where a girl literally THREW herself at him. After he made it clear to her he had a girlfriend, she kept touching him and saying things like "All the guys I fancy have girlfriends" and pouting and when he left her to go talk to other people she would seek him out. It got so bad he eventually had to push her off and tell her, "you're psycho".

    I wanted to effing kill her. I was so angry. I was RIGHT THERE. How can a girl have such little respect for other women!?

    That's sad.....I find it pitiful a woman could make such an *kitten* out of herself after being told outright he was spoken for, and in your presence none the less... I wouldn't be angry, that has to be a sad girl to act that way. When I see a woman like that it makes me want to give her a # for a shrink or hand her a self help book.

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