girls who hit on guys who are taken (or vice versa)
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If someone is flirting/hitting on someone with the intent to wedge themselves into the relationship, it's wrong. Respect other people's relationships. The person being hit on should respect his/her relationship and let the hitter know right up front that they are married/taken. If the hitter persists, assume they are skeezy and riddled with disease, and will probably end up bleeding from their head in a ditch somewhere from an ex-lover's jealous spouse, and is therefore not worth wasting your breath talking to them. Turn around, proceed to ignore the hitter. Make extra effort to hold hands, put your arm around, or kiss your spouse at your earliest convenience.0
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Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!
I agree with you. I am married and I "flirt" if you will. NOT with the intent to take anyone home more as flattery and to be funny. I can appreciate a guy telling me I look good in a new outfit, that doesnt mean I'm jumping in bed with him. I happen to think my husband is SUPER hot himself! On the other hand I don't think that men get compliments nearly enough...mostly because women are either too serious and feel like they are betraying someone or they are too stuck on themself to notice. What's the harm in telling the guy holding the door open for you that he looks nice, or you like his sweater (as I have done)...or joking around with the guys at work that their haircut makes them look like George Clooney?! Or the very common "if I were younger I'd give your wife a run for her money". C'mon ppl, who wouldn't like a compliment every now and then. Maybe if you are that concerned about it then it's more your fear of not having enough self control to keep your hands to yourself. Hmmmm.0 -
One: Is this wrong?
Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?
Opinions.
People are going to hit on others if they are unaware that the other person is in fact taken. There is nothing wrong in that. However, if the person is aware that that person has a partner, then that is when it is wrong! But who are they to care if they don't know the partner personally - to them they're just having a bit of fun? I don't agree with it, I would never do it. I have a partner myself and we've been together for almost 7 years. If he gets hit on I just try and take it as a compliment now - woo I have a hot boyfriend that others want & can't have & he is mine! However, the issue would become U-G-L-Y if my boyfriend retaliated or encouraged this behaviour. It's not his fault that he got hit on, but if he doesn't make her aware of my existence or does the hitting - then prepare for war! :explode: :laugh:
I have to admit - it's a mega compliment getting hit on! Confidence booster. Nothing wrong with that!
AGREEEEEE lol0 -
There's nothing wrong with flirting a little. It's knowing where to draw the line. It can't be overly suggestive, and is more or less in jest if one or both parts are taken. Flirting in good humour is fine.
Hitting on someone as in trying to bring them home if you or they are in a relationship is despicable.
I agree with this. I am a naturally flirty person but you need to know where to draw the line. If you can't draw the line then don't do it.0 -
I certainly wouldn't want to beat HER up, I would want to beat HIM up because he is the one betraying. The lady is just being a slut, and sometimes there is nothing wrong with getting what you want.
I don't know.. I see what you are saying, since he's the one that made the commitment to you. However, I have no respect for a theif who's trying to steal what I have, being it my material items, or my relationship. I would not lower myself to fighting her, but I would not say she's free from blame. Though, if he's willing to cheat there must be underlying issues in the relationship that she just brought to a head.
A thief? ... if your spouse can be "stolen" they weren't "yours" to begin with... we're people with minds of our own not inanimate helpless objects.
I agree with what you are saying.. but this was the best way I could come up with , to show how I could not hold the other woman blameless. Even though I labled her a thief, I did also state that if he would act on it... that there must be other issues in the relationship.0 -
From my experiences and what I've seen a lot of people seem to be okay with flirting if they are the flirt-er or the flirt-ee, that is until it happens to their significant other. Just saying there are a lot of people who cant take what they dish out.
I've flirted and been flirted with and the same for my husband. Sometimes it leads to an arguement and sometimes it doesn't. For me/us it depends on the situation (who, what, where, when, how and all that jazz).
I will take a stand and say when the flirting goes private, regardless of the situation, is it wrong.0 -
It is morally wrong to hit on someone who is already taken.
However I don't get #2. Why would it be the fault of someone who gets hit on? If you act on it then you are wrong as well (and worse than the person from #1), but the mere act of getting hit on doesn't mean you are morally wrong at all.0 -
It is morally wrong to hit on someone who is already taken.
However I don't get #2. Why would it be the fault of someone who gets hit on? If you act on it then you are wrong as well (and worse than the person from #1), but the mere act of getting hit on doesn't mean you are morally wrong at all.
Good point. I misread/misinterpreted the second question possibly.
I thought it meant if the 'hitting on' was reciprocated or more specifically...'acted upon'.
If the person knows someone is taken, then it's wrong to pursue it.
If the person being hit on accepts and acts upon it, then they are most definitely wrong too!
If someone is being hit on, it's not their fault. They can't help someone else's actions, .....they can only control their's0 -
I don't really think anything of it...I think that life is complicated enough, and when you've found the right person, that's it. It doesn't matter who flirts, compliments, or whatever on your page, because frankly it's the web, and I don't take any of this seriously. I'm confident enough to know that I chose my wife because she's the best of everything I'm looking for. I know there's noone else who's really gonna put up with me being me the way I am. So, if I compliment or "flirt" with someone else, I know it means nothing. Also, I'm confident enough in myself to know that I'm the best for her, that any flirting, bantering, or otherwise from her end to others (and believe me, I know it happens, even with her bosses, coworkers, friends, you name it) is just that, and it ends there, because even she knows that there's noone else who's gonna put up with how she is either. We bring out the best in each other. I think the underlying issue is people's insecurities....If you really are the best for your partner, and they really are the best for you, there's nothing to worry about, ever.0
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I don't really think anything of it...I think that life is complicated enough, and when you've found the right person, that's it. It doesn't matter who flirts, compliments, or whatever on your page, because frankly it's the web, and I don't take any of this seriously. I'm confident enough to know that I chose my wife because she's the best of everything I'm looking for. I know there's noone else who's really gonna put up with me being me the way I am. So, if I compliment or "flirt" with someone else, I know it means nothing. Also, I'm confident enough in myself to know that I'm the best for her, that any flirting, bantering, or otherwise from her end to others (and believe me, I know it happens, even with her bosses, coworkers, friends, you name it) is just that, and it ends there, because even she knows that there's noone else who's gonna put up with how she is either. We bring out the best in each other. I think the underlying issue is people's insecurities....If you really are the best for your partner, and they really are the best for you, there's nothing to worry about, ever.
Great answer.0 -
You can't control what another person does... you can only control your reaction towards it. If you are "taken" then find it as a compliment and move on.0
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I don't really think anything of it...I think that life is complicated enough, and when you've found the right person, that's it. It doesn't matter who flirts, compliments, or whatever on your page, because frankly it's the web, and I don't take any of this seriously. I'm confident enough to know that I chose my wife because she's the best of everything I'm looking for. I know there's noone else who's really gonna put up with me being me the way I am. So, if I compliment or "flirt" with someone else, I know it means nothing. Also, I'm confident enough in myself to know that I'm the best for her, that any flirting, bantering, or otherwise from her end to others (and believe me, I know it happens, even with her bosses, coworkers, friends, you name it) is just that, and it ends there, because even she knows that there's noone else who's gonna put up with how she is either. We bring out the best in each other. I think the underlying issue is people's insecurities....If you really are the best for your partner, and they really are the best for you, there's nothing to worry about, ever.
Very well said, I agree completely0 -
It is morally wrong to hit on someone who is already taken.
However I don't get #2. Why would it be the fault of someone who gets hit on? If you act on it then you are wrong as well (and worse than the person from #1), but the mere act of getting hit on doesn't mean you are morally wrong at all.
Good point. I misread/misinterpreted the second question possibly.
I thought it meant if the 'hitting on' was reciprocated or more specifically...'acted upon'.
If the person knows someone is taken, then it's wrong to pursue it.
If the person being hit on accepts and acts upon it, then they are most definitely wrong too!
If someone is being hit on, it's not their fault. They can't help someone else's actions, .....they can only control their's
Do you think the person who reciprocates is worse than the person who is hitting on them? I do. I think their responsibility to being faithful to their own significant other is much greater than the person outside of that relationship not to interfere. So for that reason I don't get the people who have more anger at the mistress than they do at their own cheating partner.0 -
Nothing is wrong with hitting? Isn't there a moral problem with respecting boundaries?Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.
There is nothing wrong with hitting on someone if you are not aware that they are in a relationship. If you do know then you are just as guilty as the receiving end!0 -
I would say "flirting" is just about as interpretive as poetry or a painting. We all see it different ways. If my husband doesn't care and I don't care, I certainly don't care what anyone else's thoughts are on it.0
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I would say "flirting" is just about as interpretive as poetry or a painting. We all see it different ways. If my husband doesn't care and I don't care, I certainly don't care what anyone else's thoughts are on it.
THIS0 -
One: Is this wrong?
Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?
Opinions.
Allows themselves to be hit on? How can the person that was hit on be at fault? How do you blame the victim?
If the guy takes her up on it, then he's at fault, otherwise it's like saying to the gil that was date-raped,"You know you wanted it."0 -
Example......Your partner is with you on MFP and they see men commenting on your profile constantly....calling you beautiful...sexy....etc and YOU say nothing to these men...acting as if its ok or as if you are single..and YOU know your partner clearly has a problem with it but you continue to let it happen because you dont want to seem rude or hurt these mens feelings....I say screw their feelings your partners feelings should matter most....sorry just ranting LOL
Can't agree with this. A comment on MFP is a harmless appreciation of someone's work. Heck, I'd have to take my pictures off FB and MFP.
Howeve, arranging to meet someone off MFP is not ok LOL0 -
No it's not wrong, and it's no one's fault. There is NOTHING wrong with harmless flirting.0
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Example......Your partner is with you on MFP and they see men commenting on your profile constantly....calling you beautiful...sexy....etc and YOU say nothing to these men...acting as if its ok or as if you are single..and YOU know your partner clearly has a problem with it but you continue to let it happen because you dont want to seem rude or hurt these mens feelings....I say screw their feelings your partners feelings should matter most....sorry just ranting LOL
Can't agree with this. A comment on MFP is a harmless appreciation of someone's work. Heck, I'd have to take my pictures off FB and MFP.
Howeve, arranging to meet someone off MFP is not ok LOL
Right I don't think the partner should be obligated to say something about the guys calling her sexy on her profile. However if she had a co-worker emailing her those things regularly that would be a completely different story and she should tell him to stop.0 -
I don't intentionally do it, but it has happened. I appreciate when someone lets me know they are taken and they are actually honest about it.
The problem is that many women abuse the system and as a result, it gets more difficult. If a woman tells me she is taken, it is normal for guys not to believe it, since that line has been used so many times. A man will think that is a woman playing hard to get (when she actually is available with the right effort), or that she is just saying that as an excuse to get out of a conversation because she doesn't like the man. Guys have to decipher context, and guys are not necessarily good at that.
Mostly any way it is sliced, it is not worth perusing any further. Just move on.0 -
Hitting on someone thru the internet or in real life?
Hitting on someone with the intent of harmless flirting or looking for a score?
Is flirting with someone automatically assumed as hitting on them?0 -
You can't stop the person who is doing the compliments other than saying thank you and leaving it at that but I will say, ESPECIALLY on a site like this where people are showing weight loss pictures and showing their bodily changes... OF COURSE you are going to get hit on. You have to ask yourself what is too far and what is your boundary for your relationship. I trust my partner COMPLETELY and if he were ont hsi site and complimented another female, so what.. I know that at the end of the day we are together and it was the internet. No big deal. Nothing can harm our relationship. I know he feels the same way. We often times talk about girls he finds attractive or men I find attractive. I know that when the sun goes down, as long as we're still in this together then there is no harm done. At the end of the day I'm all he wants and needs.0
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Respect people!! It's that easy! Of course it's wrong - to hit on someone who's "taken" and to go along with it if you're the "taken" one. When did this issue become convoluted? Really? We've come that far that we're not sure anymore? I will respect your relationship with your SO, you respect mine. How about that?!0
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Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!
Amen!0 -
agreedNo it's not wrong, and it's no one's fault. There is NOTHING wrong with harmless flirting.0 -
<---Natural flirt. My partner knows this and has absolutely no problem with it. My type of personality is what attracted him to me in the first place.
flirting - present participle of flirt (Verb)
Verb:
Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but without serious intentions: "it amused him to flirt with her".
Experiment with or show a superficial interest in (an idea, activity, or movement) without committing oneself to it seriously.0 -
Respect people!! It's that easy! Of course it's wrong - to hit on someone who's "taken" and to go along with it if you're the "taken" one. When did this issue become convoluted? Really? We've come that far that we're not sure anymore? I will respect your relationship with your SO, you respect mine. How about that?!
Agreed!0 -
Respect people!! It's that easy! Of course it's wrong - to hit on someone who's "taken" and to go along with it if you're the "taken" one. When did this issue become convoluted? Really? We've come that far that we're not sure anymore? I will respect your relationship with your SO, you respect mine. How about that?!
Sounds boring. :noway:0 -
Example......Your partner is with you on MFP and they see men commenting on your profile constantly....calling you beautiful...sexy....etc and YOU say nothing to these men...acting as if its ok or as if you are single..and YOU know your partner clearly has a problem with it but you continue to let it happen because you dont want to seem rude or hurt these mens feelings....I say screw their feelings your partners feelings should matter most....sorry just ranting LOL
It doesn't matter what anyone else's opinion is. It matters that it bothered you. And if she really loved you, she wouldn't want to do anything that bothered you. It's very simple. Make it clear to the men on your friends list that you are with someone and don't want to make that person feel uncomfortable, ask them not to say things like that to you.
I really have to question why she needed this affirmation from other people. There's only one person I care about calling me beautiful and sexy. I don't need to hear it from anyone else.
If that was me, my partner's feelings are way more important then what some random person on the net is telling me.0
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