girls who hit on guys who are taken (or vice versa)

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  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
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    It all depends on the intent behind the flirting (for me). If you see the person is in a committed relationship and that doesn't deter you at all from trying to wiggle your way into the equation. I would question your morals (judgmental, but true). HOWEVER, if you are just being friendly, maybe a little too friendly, but still draw the line.. I'm somewhat okay. At that point, it's the person who is in a relationship responsibility to draw the boundries... nothing wrong with letting a compliment give your ego a boost, but out of respect to your partner you need to draw the line.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Actually I think it's flattering when other girls hit on my boyfriend :) I know it won't lead to anything, and he's coming home with me, so it's all good in my book.

    That said, if someone is still trying to get into his pants WHEN I'm standing right there or obviously knows about me, I think it's pretty disrespectful. I believe in karma - what goes around, comes around.

    And here's the thing - If the guy you're after is with someone and you manage to snag him, what makes you think he won't do the same thing to YOU, if another girl pulls the stunt you did?
  • 412HeavyLifter
    412HeavyLifter Posts: 170 Member
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    It all depends on the intent behind the flirting (for me). If you see the person is in a committed relationship and that doesn't deter you at all from trying to wiggle your way into the equation. I would question your morals (judgmental, but true). HOWEVER, if you are just being friendly, maybe a little too friendly, but still draw the line.. I'm somewhat okay. At that point, it's the person who is in a relationship responsibility to draw the boundries... nothing wrong with letting a compliment give your ego a boost, but out of respect to your partner you need to draw the line.
    Amen!
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    Some people don't know when to stop. I've had a few people hit on me and I've said I'm taken and they will continue flirting and say things along the lines that "That makes me even hornier and want you more and its bad and naughty :wink: " (as in the girl saying it). Some people outside relationships are just as bad.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    The following song addresses this situation perfectly.

    "I gotta man"

    "What's that got to do with me?" :tongue:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvYIpa1Ulvw
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
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    And here's the thing - If the guy you're after is with someone and you manage to snag him, what makes you think he won't do the same thing to YOU, if another girl pulls the stunt you did?

    YES!!! If someone is willing to sneak around with you.. then you can bet, they will sneak around on you. I will never understand why someone who was once "the other person" is all shocked and surprised when the tables are turned and they end up being the victum later on.
  • shanlynt
    shanlynt Posts: 754 Member
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    I wouldn't complain if one of the daycare Dads asked me over for a playdate without my kid. Just sayin':wink:
  • _greeneyedgirl_
    _greeneyedgirl_ Posts: 84
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    I'm trying to do more than hit ......lol. I love you baby

    Love you too.
  • MaryPhillips90
    MaryPhillips90 Posts: 236 Member
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    Flirting isn't THAT big of a deal, but I've always wondered this when it gets serious.
    Just say a lady comes up to my husband (and he is wearing his ring) and is all on him and he accepts, then I would be mad at him.
    I certainly wouldn't want to beat HER up, I would want to beat HIM up because he is the one betraying. The lady is just being a slut, and sometimes there is nothing wrong with getting what you want.
  • lizzue
    lizzue Posts: 276 Member
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    I am a flirt and like to think its just a bit of banter because I know what I go home to at night is the BEST! I work with a lot of blokes and half the women in the office (even tho married) are sleeping with him just because they show interest.

    Getting hit on and having a flirt are two separate things. I would never hit on someone and I think I would feel awkward if someone was hitting on me.

    But it has been so long since I was being hit on I wouldnt know! :-)

    Its all down to respect for yourself and others. x
  • CardiacNP
    CardiacNP Posts: 554 Member
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    I agree. I am a flirt or at least try to be.
  • MaryPhillips90
    MaryPhillips90 Posts: 236 Member
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    And here's the thing - If the guy you're after is with someone and you manage to snag him, what makes you think he won't do the same thing to YOU, if another girl pulls the stunt you did?

    YES!!! If someone is willing to sneak around with you.. then you can bet, they will sneak around on you. I will never understand why someone who was once "the other person" is all shocked and surprised when the tables are turned and they end up being the victum later on.

    Well, I cheated on ALL of my boyfriends with my (now) husband and I wouldn't DREAM of cheating on him.
    So this isn't always true...
  • kimmie0627
    kimmie0627 Posts: 111 Member
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    Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.

    If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.

    If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.

    This exactly. I talk to men when I'm out with the girls - all innocent. I talk to men when I'm with my husband too and he talks to women... mostly it's people we already know, but if a man hit on me when my husband was say in the bathroom, he'd probably just be amused. It's about boundaries and trust. My husband knows I would never allow someone to cross the line and vice versa. If someone is "hitting" on me I make it clear I am married and have no interest in anything more than a conversation and some laughs - all of which my husband would be OK with. Sometimes the guy will then take off, but often they hang out still... even ask for advice after about approaching the single girl across the bar. Most men are decent and respectful once you make it understood you are taken and not interested. My husband will talk to anyone... he's just that friendly type, so him talking with women wouldn't/doesn't bother me. If a woman tried to cross the line with him I know he would take care of it himself immediately. I trust him 100%. That's really what it's all about.

    My husband and i are the same way. I am "flirty" by nature and everyone we know are aware of it. That is just how I am. I mean nothing by it. We trust each other and it has never been an issue, nor do I see it being an issue.
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,985 Member
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    If someone hits on someone who they KNOW are in a relationship they are in the wrong.

    That being said, if you are in a relationship and "allow" the hitting, by flirting back ect, you are also in the wrong.

    Just my opinion.

    I am all kinds of wrong. In so many ways. And i'm okay with it. :smooched:
  • MomsTooBig
    MomsTooBig Posts: 201 Member
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    One : YES! Most definitely. If you know someone is taken, then leave it alone!

    Two: BOTH parties are wrong.

    This is what killed my marriage, so I speak from experience.

    Tracy
  • Jipples
    Jipples Posts: 663 Member
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    what constitutes hitting on? I flirt all the time.
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    One: Is this wrong?

    Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?

    Opinions.

    Depends. Does the person doing the hitting know up front that the other person is spoken for? If not, there is nothing wrong with it until they find out and continue with the flirting anyway. On the other hand, if they don't know and the other person doesn't tell them otherwise, thereby allowing the flirtation to continue, the person being hit on is in the wrong. At least, that's how I see it anyway. I'm crushing on someone right now, but I haven't really done any flirting because I want to know for sure if he is spoken for in any way before I proceed. Personally, I would be mortified if I was hitting on someone, then found out they were married or even had a girlfriend. I usually take a glance at the left ring finger to see if he's wearing a ring, but I've found out the hard way that this doesn't always mean he's single.
  • lizzue
    lizzue Posts: 276 Member
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    And here's the thing - If the guy you're after is with someone and you manage to snag him, what makes you think he won't do the same thing to YOU, if another girl pulls the stunt you did?

    YES!!! If someone is willing to sneak around with you.. then you can bet, they will sneak around on you. I will never understand why someone who was once "the other person" is all shocked and surprised when the tables are turned and they end up being the victum later on.

    Well, I cheated on ALL of my boyfriends with my (now) husband and I wouldn't DREAM of cheating on him.
    So this isn't always true...



    AGREED!!! Exactly the same and I wouldnt dream of it now! x
  • AliciaLucas_72
    AliciaLucas_72 Posts: 112 Member
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    One: Is this wrong?

    Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?

    Opinions.

    How does someone ALLOW themselves to be hit on? You are either hit on or not, you can't control whether or someon hits on you you control how you react to that action.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    I think people are veering off in two directions here. Flirting (which is harmless) or hitting on (as in trying to taking things on beyond a harmless giggle).

    What are we talking about?

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