girls who hit on guys who are taken (or vice versa)

Options
245678

Replies

  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
    Options
    Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.

    If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.

    If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.
    THIS.
    This is exactly the mindset people should be in when being flirted on/flirting. :flowerforyou:
  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
    Options
    One: Is this wrong?

    Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?

    Opinions.

    People are going to hit on others if they are unaware that the other person is in fact taken. There is nothing wrong in that. However, if the person is aware that that person has a partner, then that is when it is wrong! But who are they to care if they don't know the partner personally - to them they're just having a bit of fun? I don't agree with it, I would never do it. I have a partner myself and we've been together for almost 7 years. If he gets hit on I just try and take it as a compliment now - woo I have a hot boyfriend that others want & can't have & he is mine! However, the issue would become U-G-L-Y if my boyfriend retaliated or encouraged this behaviour. It's not his fault that he got hit on, but if he doesn't make her aware of my existence or does the hitting - then prepare for war! :explode: :laugh:
    Exactly :laugh: Congratulations on 7 years by the way!!:heart:
  • SmashleeWpg
    SmashleeWpg Posts: 566 Member
    Options
    Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?

    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!
  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
    Options
    Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?

    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!
    Other people and I had this same differing of definitions of flirting. I find that complimenting once on a person's body, because you want to congratulate them or simply say what's on your mind is perfectly fine... but taking that, and doing that continuously with the intention of attracting the other person is not okay. Flirting, in that definition is not harmless, in fact, it could potentially do a lot of harm, depending on the strength of a relationship.

    I don't understand what you mean by dead. I don't think being able to tell someone that they're hot is the deciding factor of living and non-living.

    Js.
  • davidclooney
    davidclooney Posts: 21
    Options
    Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?

    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!

    not flirting back doesnt mean you're dead...what...you need to flirt to feel "ALIVE".....flirting isn't harmless if you are taken, it is detrimental to the relationship, you are disrespecting your significant other and it is despicable...
  • SmashleeWpg
    SmashleeWpg Posts: 566 Member
    Options
    Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?

    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!
    Other people and I had this same differing of definitions of flirting. I find that complimenting once on a person's body, because you want to congratulate them or simply say what's on your mind is perfectly fine... but taking that, and doing that continuously with the intention of attracting the other person is not okay. Flirting, in that definition is not harmless, in fact, it could potentially do a lot of harm, depending on the strength of a relationship.

    I don't understand what you mean by dead. I don't think being able to tell someone that they're hot is the deciding factor of living and non-living.

    Js.

    Given that this was posted under the "fun and games" section of the messages boards, I would imagine that some of what's been written isn't meant to be taken completely literally. I'm completely aware that it's not a deciding factor of living and non-living; "dead" meaning you are still able to appreciate someone that's easy on the eyes; just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that appreciation goes away. I don't think commenting offhand on it, or flirting a little bit, is a bad thing. Obviously it will vary person to person, and like other people have said it all depends on your comfort level, but I don't think it comes down to black and white, right and wrong.

    Despicable? Wow. I guess I'm despicable then.
  • emmamcblain
    emmamcblain Posts: 342
    Options
    I don't think I have ever been hit on? or hit on anyone... So I got nuthin!....

    Me too mate!

    Snap.
  • douglasmobbs
    douglasmobbs Posts: 563 Member
    Options
    For those who are in the relationship it depends on the specifics and boundaries within the relationship, I do not think there can be a hard and fast one size fits all rule. With that being said hitting on (gentle flirting) with someone in a relationship cannot always be bad.

    It is down to the person in the relationship to make their boundaries clear to the person who is not in a relationship.
  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
    Options
    Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?

    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!
    Other people and I had this same differing of definitions of flirting. I find that complimenting once on a person's body, because you want to congratulate them or simply say what's on your mind is perfectly fine... but taking that, and doing that continuously with the intention of attracting the other person is not okay. Flirting, in that definition is not harmless, in fact, it could potentially do a lot of harm, depending on the strength of a relationship.

    I don't understand what you mean by dead. I don't think being able to tell someone that they're hot is the deciding factor of living and non-living.

    Js.

    Given that this was posted under the "fun and games" section of the messages boards, I would imagine that a lot written isn't meant to be taken completely literally. I'm completely aware that it's not a deciding factor of living and non-living; "dead" meaning you are still able to appreciate someone that's easy on the eyes; just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that appreciation goes away. I don't think commenting offhand on it, or flirting, is a bad thing. Obviously it will vary person to person, and like other people have said it all depends on your comfort level, but I don't think it comes down to black and white, right and wrong.

    Despicable? Wow. I guess I'm despicable then.
    Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.

    Appreciation shouldn't go away, but it should be concentrated more on your significant other. There will never be a black and white line, but the grey area here should be easier to navigate through than most.

    Also, I wasn't the one who said despicable =____= can you post to the right person, please?
  • SmashleeWpg
    SmashleeWpg Posts: 566 Member
    Options
    Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.

    Appreciation shouldn't go away, but it should be concentrated more on your significant other. There will never be a black and white line, but the grey area here should be easier to navigate through than most.

    Also, I wasn't the one who said despicable =____= can you post to the right person, please?

    Pretty sure a rant re: anti-semitism wouldn't be posted under "fun and games", but that's just my opinion. Try lightening up a little!
  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
    Options
    Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.

    Appreciation shouldn't go away, but it should be concentrated more on your significant other. There will never be a black and white line, but the grey area here should be easier to navigate through than most.

    Also, I wasn't the one who said despicable =____= can you post to the right person, please?

    Pretty sure a rant re: anti-semitism wouldn't be posted under "fun and games", but that's just my opinion. Try lightening up a little!
    Fun and games = anything goes.

    Try using logic a little! :flowerforyou:
  • davidclooney
    davidclooney Posts: 21
    Options
    Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.

    Appreciation shouldn't go away, but it should be concentrated more on your significant other. There will never be a black and white line, but the grey area here should be easier to navigate through than most.

    Also, I wasn't the one who said despicable =____= can you post to the right person, please?

    Pretty sure a rant re: anti-semitism wouldn't be posted under "fun and games", but that's just my opinion. Try lightening up a little!


    does it not also say chit-chat....
  • HorrorChix89
    HorrorChix89 Posts: 1,229 Member
    Options
    Flirting is flirting. It's when they sleep together that you should worry. Life's too short to worry about people hitting on each other.
  • SmashleeWpg
    SmashleeWpg Posts: 566 Member
    Options
    Flirting is flirting. It's when they sleep together that you should worry. Life's too short to worry about people hitting on each other.

    Thank you!

    And sure, chit-chat, as in "light conversation", not taking anything literally, all in good fun. Works for me!
  • juliesummers
    juliesummers Posts: 738 Member
    Options
    There's nothing wrong with flirting a little. It's knowing where to draw the line. It can't be overly suggestive, and is more or less in jest if one or both parts are taken. Flirting in good humour is fine.

    Hitting on someone as in trying to bring them home if you or they are in a relationship is despicable.

    Agreed. I'm in a committed relationship, but I enjoy a bit of flirting once in a while. I enjoy the outside validation and ego boost. My boyfriend doesn't mind at all. I guess I just sort of have a flirty personality and it's just how I tend to interact with guys. It's not suggestive, it's just light and fun.
  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
    Options
    Flirting is flirting. It's when they sleep together that you should worry. Life's too short to worry about people hitting on each other.
    Different people have different boundaries and standards. Life's long enough to make the best out of your relationships.
  • HorrorChix89
    HorrorChix89 Posts: 1,229 Member
    Options
    Flirting is flirting. It's when they sleep together that you should worry. Life's too short to worry about people hitting on each other.
    Different people have different boundaries and standards. Life's long enough to make the best out of your relationships.
    Okay? No one said you follow what anyone else thinks...geez. If I/ME/MYSELF/NOT YOU wants a drink at the bar my bf works at, he'll tell me to go flirt with the guy sitting by himself. But that's just MY relationship and for some odd reason it works. Don't question me and I won't question you.
  • HorrorChix89
    HorrorChix89 Posts: 1,229 Member
    Options
    I get compliments from guys and even some chicks, it makes me feel great and brightens up my day. I even get hit on by guys mainly at the gas station. I simply tell them I have a boyfriend and usually they don't push. Some will say "well can I be your friend?" and I just laugh and drive away.

    Once I get home I text my bf saying I got hit on today. He'll ask by who and where, what was a wearing blah blah blah, then we just go on to the next pointless conversation.

    No one gets hurt, no one cries, no one is driving to court with a divorce. Just a little self esteem boost here and there. Sure I get jealous if he tells me about the girls he meet at the bar and I'm sure he gets even more jealous about me. It's human nature and we get over it.
  • SilverStrychnine
    SilverStrychnine Posts: 413 Member
    Options
    If someone is hitting on you, and you are taken, and you flirt back, that is wrong.
    If you are hitting on someone and you know they are taken, that is wrong.
    If you are hitting on someone and you do not know that they are taken, that is not wrong, you just didn't know.

    However, each couple have their own rules. My boyfriend doesn't mind if I flirt a LITTLE and I don't mind if he does the same. It's all about knowing YOUR boundaries :smile:
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    Options
    Wow. Whole lot of upright going on in here. People really need to lighten up...

Categories