girls who hit on guys who are taken (or vice versa)

Rachiewoowoo

Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.

Appreciation shouldn't go away, but it should be concentrated more on your significant other. There will never be a black and white line, but the grey area here should be easier to navigate through than most.

Also, I wasn't the one who said despicable =____= can you post to the right person, please?

Pretty sure a rant re: anti-semitism wouldn't be posted under "fun and games", but that's just my opinion. Try lightening up a little!

Fun and games = anything goes.

Try using logic a little! :flowerforyou:

davidclooney

Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.

Appreciation shouldn't go away, but it should be concentrated more on your significant other. There will never be a black and white line, but the grey area here should be easier to navigate through than most.

Also, I wasn't the one who said despicable =____= can you post to the right person, please?

Pretty sure a rant re: anti-semitism wouldn't be posted under "fun and games", but that's just my opinion. Try lightening up a little!


does it not also say chit-chat....

HorrorChix89

Flirting is flirting. It's when they sleep together that you should worry. Life's too short to worry about people hitting on each other.

SmashleeWpg

Flirting is flirting. It's when they sleep together that you should worry. Life's too short to worry about people hitting on each other.

Thank you!

And sure, chit-chat, as in "light conversation", not taking anything literally, all in good fun. Works for me!

juliesummers

There's nothing wrong with flirting a little. It's knowing where to draw the line. It can't be overly suggestive, and is more or less in jest if one or both parts are taken. Flirting in good humour is fine.

Hitting on someone as in trying to bring them home if you or they are in a relationship is despicable.

Agreed. I'm in a committed relationship, but I enjoy a bit of flirting once in a while. I enjoy the outside validation and ego boost. My boyfriend doesn't mind at all. I guess I just sort of have a flirty personality and it's just how I tend to interact with guys. It's not suggestive, it's just light and fun.

Rachiewoowoo

Flirting is flirting. It's when they sleep together that you should worry. Life's too short to worry about people hitting on each other.

Different people have different boundaries and standards. Life's long enough to make the best out of your relationships.

HorrorChix89

Flirting is flirting. It's when they sleep together that you should worry. Life's too short to worry about people hitting on each other.

Different people have different boundaries and standards. Life's long enough to make the best out of your relationships.

Okay? No one said you follow what anyone else thinks...geez. If I/ME/MYSELF/NOT YOU wants a drink at the bar my bf works at, he'll tell me to go flirt with the guy sitting by himself. But that's just MY relationship and for some odd reason it works. Don't question me and I won't question you.

HorrorChix89

I get compliments from guys and even some chicks, it makes me feel great and brightens up my day. I even get hit on by guys mainly at the gas station. I simply tell them I have a boyfriend and usually they don't push. Some will say "well can I be your friend?" and I just laugh and drive away.

Once I get home I text my bf saying I got hit on today. He'll ask by who and where, what was a wearing blah blah blah, then we just go on to the next pointless conversation.

No one gets hurt, no one cries, no one is driving to court with a divorce. Just a little self esteem boost here and there. Sure I get jealous if he tells me about the girls he meet at the bar and I'm sure he gets even more jealous about me. It's human nature and we get over it.

SilverStrychnine

If someone is hitting on you, and you are taken, and you flirt back, that is wrong.
If you are hitting on someone and you know they are taken, that is wrong.
If you are hitting on someone and you do not know that they are taken, that is not wrong, you just didn't know.

However, each couple have their own rules. My boyfriend doesn't mind if I flirt a LITTLE and I don't mind if he does the same. It's all about knowing YOUR boundaries

IronmanPanda

Wow. Whole lot of upright going on in here. People really need to lighten up...

Matt_Wild

If only the person getting hit on is taken and says nothing, them.

If both people (the person hit on and the person doing the hitting on) know that a said person is taken and still tries to hit on taken person, both.

If the person trying it on knows the person is taken and the person who is taken and is not trying it on but in a weakened position, the hitter.

Iif that makes sense! :laugh: :bigsmile:

jodee_donavan

A mom at our children's school told my husband "Hey! We should get the kids together for a play date." with a playful and VERY flirty "I'm not thinking about the kids" gesture--- he told her "No. I don't think my wife would like that!" and walked away.:laugh:

Seriously in the moment of learning he said that- I loved him even more!

robin52077

I am very open, touchy, cuddly, etc...and I say none of it is "bad" or "cheating", until it goes that extra step.

I will talk naughty with guys, make comments, give and accept flirting.

I have a male friend that I can cuddle on the couch with, use him as my pillow, give hugs, and yes, there is sexual tension there, and yes, if I was single we would have acted on it by now. But I'm not, so no hands have gone anywhere where a bathing suit touches and that's where the line is drawn.
Good enough...

ItsCasey

If you know someone is taken and you are hitting on them, you're a horrible human being.

If you are taken and you encourage someone to flirt with you, you are also a horrible human being.

Otherwise, no harm, no foul.

rcc1988

Hitting on someone you KNOW is taken is definitely pretty...questionable. I think it depends whether you're just someone with a naturally flirtatious personality, or whether you're seriously trying to get them in the sack despite knowing they're taken. And obviously it goes from "questionable ethics" to "downright scummy" if the person you know they're dating is a friend of your's, since at that point it becomes a betrayal of trust.

As for the person being hit ON, it's hard to say. Some people honestly don't recognize they're being hit on, or don't have the courage to say, "Hey, you're not hitting on me, are you? Because you know I'm taken..." especially if the person is being really subtle.

Its one of those things where it all depends on the people involved and their personalities and what they "allow" and what they don't and what they see as casual flirtation and what they see as a serious move. It's definitely a case-by-case-basis sort of situation, imo.

auticus

If a person hits on another person and the person hitting on the other knows that they are taken, that person is, in my opinion, a disrespectful toe rag and they are very much in the wrong for being a disrespectful toe rag.

If a person is hit on by another person and they are already taken, and they acknowledge and enforce and promote their being hit on, they are also disrespectful toe rags.

The disclaimer on this is if the person is in an open relationship (where open relationship is defined as both members of the relationship knowing and agreeing that it is an open relationship)

Flirting to me is also not hitting on. Hitting on are things crossing the line such as asking someone out on a date, asking someone to jump in bed, etc... things that would make the partner of the person in the relationship upset and hurt if they found out.

I have a low tolerance for cheating and cheaters.

_greeneyedgirl_

I would never disrespect my SO in that way. I may joke around but I mean nothing by it. If someone tried to hit on me, I'd tell them that homie don't play that way.

lad9669

I was always too stupid to even know if someone was hitting on me. We moved to a new town when I was in fifth grade and I basically was ostricized until my jr or sr year in High School. So if anyone acted iterested I thought they were trying to pull a Carrie or something. If I hit on someone who was taken later in life it would be that I didnt know better or I was too to realize.

zipperhead76

It depends on the goal of the person doing the hitting on... I flirt alot. even with taken people. But I don't chase a taken women. And I'll never do anything with someone that is taken. I stop it before it begins. But I have a flirtatious nature/personality. I don't think bad of people who do it. I don't get jealous when other men would hit on my girlfriend (now ex). I see it as a compliment. And that was one thing that my gf liked about me. No jealousy, no fuss. I told her from the begining that I was a flirt and that I would never cheat on her. I guess it's in the eye of the beholder....

spectralmoon

There's nothing wrong with flirting a little. It's knowing where to draw the line. It can't be overly suggestive, and is more or less in jest if one or both parts are taken. Flirting in good humour is fine.

That's up to the couple in question.

Not a fan of people trying to "test the waters" with those that are committed, and less of a fan of those that welcome it.

KimmieBrie

Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.

If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.

If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.

This exactly. I talk to men when I'm out with the girls - all innocent. I talk to men when I'm with my husband too and he talks to women... mostly it's people we already know, but if a man hit on me when my husband was say in the bathroom, he'd probably just be amused. It's about boundaries and trust. My husband knows I would never allow someone to cross the line and vice versa. If someone is "hitting" on me I make it clear I am married and have no interest in anything more than a conversation and some laughs - all of which my husband would be OK with. Sometimes the guy will then take off, but often they hang out still... even ask for advice after about approaching the single girl across the bar. Most men are decent and respectful once you make it understood you are taken and not interested. My husband will talk to anyone... he's just that friendly type, so him talking with women wouldn't/doesn't bother me. If a woman tried to cross the line with him I know he would take care of it himself immediately. I trust him 100%. That's really what it's all about.

412HeavyLifter

One: To flirt with someone in a relationship is not the highest moral ground but I can say we all do it at some time or another.

Two: It is the fault of both parties. The person flirting for crossing the line. And the person being flirted with for not speaking up for their relationship.

I agree. The person being hit on should respect their relationship and not allow the flirting or flattery to continue. I find it highly disrespectful especially if your partner doesn't like it.

412HeavyLifter

I would never disrespect my SO in that way. I may joke around but I mean nothing by it. If someone tried to hit on me, I'd tell them that homie don't play that way.

love those beautiful green eyes :-)

JulieH3art

There's nothing wrong with flirting a little. It's knowing where to draw the line. It can't be overly suggestive, and is more or less in jest if one or both parts are taken. Flirting in good humour is fine.

That's up to the couple in question.

Not a fan of people trying to "test the waters" with those that are committed, and less of a fan of those that welcome it.

Hence, knowing where to draw the line The more adapt you are at picking up on social clues the easier that'll be.

I was at a party a couple of months ago with my boyfriend, where a girl literally THREW herself at him. After he made it clear to her he had a girlfriend, she kept touching him and saying things like "All the guys I fancy have girlfriends" and pouting and when he left her to go talk to other people she would seek him out. It got so bad he eventually had to push her off and tell her, "you're psycho".

I wanted to effing kill her. I was so angry. I was RIGHT THERE. How can a girl have such little respect for other women!?

So, I'm not for trying to bag somebody else's guy or girl. Far from it. I detest cheating on any level.

But, I think it's important to see things for what they are, and a conversation that's friendly and a little flirty I see nothing wrong with.

CardiacNP

but the "game" the 'flirt" and the "banter" to a limit is and can be fun. But i do believe there are "lines" and 'rules" not to be crossed

SwannySez

MWM, 42, Blonde/Blue, 5'-11", 204.5 lbs, ISO...oh wait...wrong forum!

I'm a terrible flirt. It's gotten me into trouble. Particularly back when I was drinking. I'm better now. Somewhat. But I'm still wildly inappropriate. Alweays have been and always will be. Even stone cold sober.

As far as I'm concerned it's a two-way street: it's the responsibility of the flirter to back off once the flirtee has established boundaries. BUT it is the responsibility of the flirtee to establish those boundaries.

Don't assume everyone knows your boundaries and don't assume that there is some arbitrary set of boundaries that applies equally actross the spectrum.

BeautifulRedButterfly

Compliments here & there are nice..but flirting....noooooooooooooooooo!!!
The person who is at fault is the one who's taken & allowing the flirting to continue happening

_greeneyedgirl_

I would never disrespect my SO in that way. I may joke around but I mean nothing by it. If someone tried to hit on me, I'd tell them that homie don't play that way.

love those beautiful green eyes :-)

Are you trying to hit on me?

412HeavyLifter

I'm trying to do more than hit ......lol. I love you baby

KimmieBrie

I was at a party a couple of months ago with my boyfriend, where a girl literally THREW herself at him. After he made it clear to her he had a girlfriend, she kept touching him and saying things like "All the guys I fancy have girlfriends" and pouting and when he left her to go talk to other people she would seek him out. It got so bad he eventually had to push her off and tell her, "you're psycho".

I wanted to effing kill her. I was so angry. I was RIGHT THERE. How can a girl have such little respect for other women!?

That's sad.....I find it pitiful a woman could make such an *kitten* out of herself after being told outright he was spoken for, and in your presence none the less... I wouldn't be angry, that has to be a sad girl to act that way. When I see a woman like that it makes me want to give her a # for a shrink or hand her a self help book.