girls who hit on guys who are taken (or vice versa)

rossi02

I certainly wouldn't want to beat HER up, I would want to beat HIM up because he is the one betraying. The lady is just being a slut, and sometimes there is nothing wrong with getting what you want.

I don't know.. I see what you are saying, since he's the one that made the commitment to you. However, I have no respect for a theif who's trying to steal what I have, being it my material items, or my relationship. I would not lower myself to fighting her, but I would not say she's free from blame. Though, if he's willing to cheat there must be underlying issues in the relationship that she just brought to a head.

kassandra81

I think people have their own idea of what constitutes taking it too far. I have no problem complimenting women or men and being flirty about it. It is what it is, I'm not taking them home.

Matt_Wild

I don't know.. I see what you are saying, since he's the one that made the commitment to you. However, I have no respect for a theif who's trying to steal what I have, being it my material items, or my relationship. I would not lower myself to fighting her, but I would not say she's free from blame. Though, if he's willing to cheat there must be underlying issues in the relationship that she just brought to a head.

I'd agree with this. My misses ex-FWB contacted her a year or so after we'd got together and despite being told repeatedly she was with me, kept trying to get in her knickers when I was away. She showed no interest but he kept hitting on.

In this case, I'd want to batter the living **** out of him given the chance for trying it on (not that I would, I'd want to tho!).

Silver_Eagle

Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.

Nothing is wrong with hitting? Isn't there a moral problem with respecting boundaries?

Absolutely wrong! All you have to do is read the Bible. It even tells you why it"s wrong.

shellimus

Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.

If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.

If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.

I agree with this.

darylinny

Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.

If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.

If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.

Agree with you 100%. My husband is a natural flirt and does it in a fun way where no one is uncomfortable. And for the record, he does it when the spouses are present too!!

carrie1013

I dont see anything wrong with flirting... my husband and I are both flirts, but it's all in fun. I have no intention of jumping in the sack with someone other than my husband. You have to know your own boudaries, and know what you are comfortable with. If you are doing anything that you wont tell your significant other about, then it's probably wrong.

MissVCI

[/quote]

Given that this was posted under the "fun and games" section of the messages boards, I would imagine that a lot written isn't meant to be taken completely literally. I'm completely aware that it's not a deciding factor of living and non-living; "dead" meaning you are still able to appreciate someone that's easy on the eyes; just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that appreciation goes away. I don't think commenting offhand on it, or flirting, is a bad thing. Obviously it will vary person to person, and like other people have said it all depends on your comfort level, but I don't think it comes down to black and white, right and wrong.

Despicable? Wow. I guess I'm despicable then.
[/quote]Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.

[/quote]

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at this statement. People are taking this so seriously when i figured it would spark a fun debate, not dive into ethical issues. I'm surprised by all the negative and mean responses. And really your comparingthe someone posting a rant about anti-semitism to flirting GET REAL. (and i'm pretty sure that topic would get deleted)

for the record I think it is totally okay to flirt if you are taken. It's just flirting. You flirt with your clothes on! It's once the clothes come off that it is wrong.
But flirting if you are taken is fine, I for one would never get into a relationship with a guy who would get mad if other guys flirted with me. But i've been lucky all my boyfriends love it when other men hit on me because it makes them feel like a stud.

but people LIGHTEN UP!!

KimmieBrie

I certainly wouldn't want to beat HER up, I would want to beat HIM up because he is the one betraying. The lady is just being a slut, and sometimes there is nothing wrong with getting what you want.

I don't know.. I see what you are saying, since he's the one that made the commitment to you. However, I have no respect for a theif who's trying to steal what I have, being it my material items, or my relationship. I would not lower myself to fighting her, but I would not say she's free from blame. Though, if he's willing to cheat there must be underlying issues in the relationship that she just brought to a head.

A thief? ... if your spouse can be "stolen" they weren't "yours" to begin with... we're people with minds of our own not inanimate helpless objects.

CardiacNP

WORD!!!

Given that this was posted under the "fun and games" section of the messages boards, I would imagine that a lot written isn't meant to be taken completely literally. I'm completely aware that it's not a deciding factor of living and non-living; "dead" meaning you are still able to appreciate someone that's easy on the eyes; just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that appreciation goes away. I don't think commenting offhand on it, or flirting, is a bad thing. Obviously it will vary person to person, and like other people have said it all depends on your comfort level, but I don't think it comes down to black and white, right and wrong.

Despicable? Wow. I guess I'm despicable then.
[/quote]Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.

[/quote]

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at this statement. People are taking this so seriously when i figured it would spark a fun debate, not dive into ethical issues. I'm surprised by all the negative and mean responses. And really your comparingthe someone posting a rant about anti-semitism to flirting GET REAL. (and i'm pretty sure that topic would get deleted)

for the record I think it is totally okay to flirt if you are taken. It's just flirting. You flirt with your clothes on! It's once the clothes come off that it is wrong.
But flirting if you are taken is fine, I for one would never get into a relationship with a guy who would get mad if other guys flirted with me. But i've been lucky all my boyfriends love it when other men hit on me because it makes them feel like a stud.

but people LIGHTEN UP!!
[/quote]

WifeNMama

If someone is flirting/hitting on someone with the intent to wedge themselves into the relationship, it's wrong. Respect other people's relationships. The person being hit on should respect his/her relationship and let the hitter know right up front that they are married/taken. If the hitter persists, assume they are skeezy and riddled with disease, and will probably end up bleeding from their head in a ditch somewhere from an ex-lover's jealous spouse, and is therefore not worth wasting your breath talking to them. Turn around, proceed to ignore the hitter. Make extra effort to hold hands, put your arm around, or kiss your spouse at your earliest convenience.

rsqsquad05

Soooo... .basically if you're in a relationship, you're not allowed to appreciate and/or comment on anyone of the other gender, ever?

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. Just because you're hitched, doesn't mean you're dead!

I agree with you. I am married and I "flirt" if you will. NOT with the intent to take anyone home more as flattery and to be funny. I can appreciate a guy telling me I look good in a new outfit, that doesnt mean I'm jumping in bed with him. I happen to think my husband is SUPER hot himself! On the other hand I don't think that men get compliments nearly enough...mostly because women are either too serious and feel like they are betraying someone or they are too stuck on themself to notice. What's the harm in telling the guy holding the door open for you that he looks nice, or you like his sweater (as I have done)...or joking around with the guys at work that their haircut makes them look like George Clooney?! Or the very common "if I were younger I'd give your wife a run for her money". C'mon ppl, who wouldn't like a compliment every now and then. Maybe if you are that concerned about it then it's more your fear of not having enough self control to keep your hands to yourself. Hmmmm.

kimmianne89

One: Is this wrong?

Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?

Opinions.

People are going to hit on others if they are unaware that the other person is in fact taken. There is nothing wrong in that. However, if the person is aware that that person has a partner, then that is when it is wrong! But who are they to care if they don't know the partner personally - to them they're just having a bit of fun? I don't agree with it, I would never do it. I have a partner myself and we've been together for almost 7 years. If he gets hit on I just try and take it as a compliment now - woo I have a hot boyfriend that others want & can't have & he is mine! However, the issue would become U-G-L-Y if my boyfriend retaliated or encouraged this behaviour. It's not his fault that he got hit on, but if he doesn't make her aware of my existence or does the hitting - then prepare for war! :explode: :laugh:

I have to admit - it's a mega compliment getting hit on! Confidence booster. Nothing wrong with that!

AGREEEEEE lol

jac2lyn

There's nothing wrong with flirting a little. It's knowing where to draw the line. It can't be overly suggestive, and is more or less in jest if one or both parts are taken. Flirting in good humour is fine.

Hitting on someone as in trying to bring them home if you or they are in a relationship is despicable.

I agree with this. I am a naturally flirty person but you need to know where to draw the line. If you can't draw the line then don't do it.

rossi02

I certainly wouldn't want to beat HER up, I would want to beat HIM up because he is the one betraying. The lady is just being a slut, and sometimes there is nothing wrong with getting what you want.

I don't know.. I see what you are saying, since he's the one that made the commitment to you. However, I have no respect for a theif who's trying to steal what I have, being it my material items, or my relationship. I would not lower myself to fighting her, but I would not say she's free from blame. Though, if he's willing to cheat there must be underlying issues in the relationship that she just brought to a head.

A thief? ... if your spouse can be "stolen" they weren't "yours" to begin with... we're people with minds of our own not inanimate helpless objects.

I agree with what you are saying.. but this was the best way I could come up with , to show how I could not hold the other woman blameless. Even though I labled her a thief, I did also state that if he would act on it... that there must be other issues in the relationship.

JanineHarrison

From my experiences and what I've seen a lot of people seem to be okay with flirting if they are the flirt-er or the flirt-ee, that is until it happens to their significant other. Just saying there are a lot of people who cant take what they dish out.

I've flirted and been flirted with and the same for my husband. Sometimes it leads to an arguement and sometimes it doesn't. For me/us it depends on the situation (who, what, where, when, how and all that jazz).

I will take a stand and say when the flirting goes private, regardless of the situation, is it wrong.

grinch031

It is morally wrong to hit on someone who is already taken.

However I don't get #2. Why would it be the fault of someone who gets hit on? If you act on it then you are wrong as well (and worse than the person from #1), but the mere act of getting hit on doesn't mean you are morally wrong at all.

MomsTooBig

It is morally wrong to hit on someone who is already taken.

However I don't get #2. Why would it be the fault of someone who gets hit on? If you act on it then you are wrong as well (and worse than the person from #1), but the mere act of getting hit on doesn't mean you are morally wrong at all.

Good point. I misread/misinterpreted the second question possibly.

I thought it meant if the 'hitting on' was reciprocated or more specifically...'acted upon'.

If the person knows someone is taken, then it's wrong to pursue it.
If the person being hit on accepts and acts upon it, then they are most definitely wrong too!

If someone is being hit on, it's not their fault. They can't help someone else's actions, .....they can only control their's

jackpotclown

I don't really think anything of it...I think that life is complicated enough, and when you've found the right person, that's it. It doesn't matter who flirts, compliments, or whatever on your page, because frankly it's the web, and I don't take any of this seriously. I'm confident enough to know that I chose my wife because she's the best of everything I'm looking for. I know there's noone else who's really gonna put up with me being me the way I am. So, if I compliment or "flirt" with someone else, I know it means nothing. Also, I'm confident enough in myself to know that I'm the best for her, that any flirting, bantering, or otherwise from her end to others (and believe me, I know it happens, even with her bosses, coworkers, friends, you name it) is just that, and it ends there, because even she knows that there's noone else who's gonna put up with how she is either. We bring out the best in each other. I think the underlying issue is people's insecurities....If you really are the best for your partner, and they really are the best for you, there's nothing to worry about, ever.

_greeneyedgirl_

I don't really think anything of it...I think that life is complicated enough, and when you've found the right person, that's it. It doesn't matter who flirts, compliments, or whatever on your page, because frankly it's the web, and I don't take any of this seriously. I'm confident enough to know that I chose my wife because she's the best of everything I'm looking for. I know there's noone else who's really gonna put up with me being me the way I am. So, if I compliment or "flirt" with someone else, I know it means nothing. Also, I'm confident enough in myself to know that I'm the best for her, that any flirting, bantering, or otherwise from her end to others (and believe me, I know it happens, even with her bosses, coworkers, friends, you name it) is just that, and it ends there, because even she knows that there's noone else who's gonna put up with how she is either. We bring out the best in each other. I think the underlying issue is people's insecurities....If you really are the best for your partner, and they really are the best for you, there's nothing to worry about, ever.

Great answer.