I find myself becoming very judgemental

escloflowneCHANGED

I really try not to judge because I know if I go to a fast food place and treat myself(like I earned the right to!) I will be judged the same way! I will be the fat guy getting a burger but little do they know that my diet and workout routine is better then theirs even if they are skinny.

FitLink

Don't feel bad AT ALL!!! What I have recognized is exactly what you said....it is easy to lose weight if you put your mind and effort to it...as my girlfriend says' you gotta mean it!!!'. You mean it and are dong what you need to do to be healthier and when you see people making decisions that are not what you are doing , you have the right to feel the way you do. I could go on and on about this but I will stop there!

Keep up the good work everyone!!!

It was easy for me to quit smoking too. I know it isn't easy for everyone, or everyone would quit. The same is true of weight. It was easy for you? FIne. It's so hard for some people they can't do it. Why? Because it's harder for them, thats' why, just like it's harder for most people to quit smoking than it was for me. I have no right to say everyone should do it because it's easy, and neither do you. MYOB.

taramaureen

Don't feel bad AT ALL!!! What I have recognized is exactly what you said....it is easy to lose weight if you put your mind and effort to it...as my girlfriend says' you gotta mean it!!!'. You mean it and are dong what you need to do to be healthier and when you see people making decisions that are not what you are doing , you have the right to feel the way you do. I could go on and on about this but I will stop there!

Keep up the good work everyone!!!

No, it's not easy to lose weight. If it were easy everyone would be slender. I have several medical conditions that make it very hard for me to lose weight. Like, the scale hasn't budged in a year kinda thing.

I'm training for an event called Tough Mudder and I met up with another one of my teamates so we could train together this morning. She was so super sweet and nice but because of my size I could see she was treating me differently than had I been her size. She assumed I couldn't do certain exercises and kept commenting on my weight. Very innocent like. She didn't have a clue until I told her that I had completed a half marathon just a few days ago.

ster81

I personally dont feel like I have the right to judge nobody, especially random people that I dont know... For one, you dont really know the full story of why someone is obese. Could be anything, some have medical conditions, maybe an injury, or maybe they just like the way they are. Either way, I just focus on myself and do me.

DaughterOfTheMostHighKing

nothing's wrong... we just need to remember that it took us some time to get where we are right now and it may take them a bit longer ...

aftergypsies

I can't judge but I have on occasion and then I think, dude, you were eating that a year ago. Then I shut my mind off of that and feel bad. It's not fair especially when I don't know them. Mostly, I feel empathy.

FitLink

I get frustrated by excuses. Particularly when someone complains about their weight, and then makes a million excuses for why they "can't" do anything about it. And if they say something like "Well, if I were lucky like you and had [____], I'd be able to do it to," then I want to smack them. I'm not lucky, I work hard for my health and my body.

Judgemental? Not in my opinion. I just don't like complainers who don't do anything about their situations.

Also, I was judgemental because my health insurance premium went up this year. A cited cause? Increase in obesity of employees. Ugh.

Of course it's not judgmental "in your opinion." But you really don't have any idea how easy or hard anything is for anyone but you. I quit smoking in 2005, and even though I'd smoked for 25 years, it was EASY PEASY! When I finished the pack I was on, I just...quit. I chewed two pieces of Nicorette, because I expected it to be hard, but Nicorette tastes AWFUL and quitting was so easy I just gave away the rest of the Nicorette. Never wanted another cigarette, never missed them. It would be easy for me to decide that people who try to quit and fail just didn't try as hard as I did. But you know what? I'M LUCKY in that regard. I didn't 'work hard for my health..." I was LUCKY! I'm not BETTER than anyone, just LUCKY! I don't care how hard you think you work for your health and your body, you DO NOT know you work harder than anyone else.

In my opinion, I'm not being judgmental of you, I just hate people who think they're better than other people. See how that opinion thing can be inaccurate sometimes?

Also, I don't believe "increased obesity of employees" was the stated reason for your insurance premium increase. And what were the other "cited causes?" Does even one of them apply to you in any way?

I'm not really sure what the first part of your response has anything to do with what I posted. I said I don't like people who complain about their situation, make excuses, and do nothing. As though someone is supposed to make them fit without them having to do the work. Which is totally different than what you are referencing, but hey, good for you and congrats on your success quitting smoking! That's awesome!

I don't really care if you believe it was a stated reason or not. I'm pretty sure you weren't staring at the slide presentation with me? Anyway...

I'm not really sure what part of my post upset you so much, so good luck and many successes to you!

You claimed you weren't "lucky" as claimed by others but you only got your weight & health by hard work, and that's why you could judge them. I'm saying I could easily say I'm better than all those people who say they can't quit smoking because I just stopped one day. And I know, in my heart, if it was as easy for them as it was for me, they would have too. And you don't know that the reason the people who you say complain about their situation don't work HARD. You don't know what they're doing, or how hard the work they're doing is for them. I lost around 100 pounds before coming to MFP, and I really, truly believe that if the overweight people I see around me could lose their weight they would. For some reason, they weren't blessed with whatever it is in me that allowed me to do that. No one has the right to judge, because no one knows how difficult it is for someone else.

I said I could judge them because I work hard? Where? I didn't. In fact, I never stated that I could or should judge anyone. I said, " I just don't like complainers who don't do anything about their situations."

You're putting words in my mouth. If you re-read my post, I never said any of the things you are claiming and I made sure to explain that my frustration was geared towards a very specific type of situation.

The whole premise of your disdain is unfounded. Go hammer on someone else.

"I'm not lucky, I work hard for my health and my body." "I was judgemental because..." Those came from the post I replied to. I thought it was yours. If it wasn't, I apologize, and I will go through the thread and figure out who it should have gone to. Everything I said, I stand behind 100%, but apparently I mixed up whose post I was replying to. I intended it for the person who said "I'm not lucky, I work hard for my health and my body." and "I was judgemental because..." because no one can know how hard something is for someone else, or know they weren't luckier than someone else was and it's just easier for them. As a result, no one has the right to judge.

I am sorry.

valeriebpdx

I could judge you for not knowing how to spell judgmental. I think, "It's not hard to pick up a dictionary."

Everyone is at different points of the weight loss experience. Maybe somebody else thinks you're weak for having put on any excess weight in the first place--do they have the right to judge you? We're all here to improve ourselves, and we're supposed to be supportive as part of the MFP community. You don't have the right to judge someone else "yet" or ever, and posting about it, trying to make it acceptable by pretending to be concerned about your judgmental nature, is irritating--be ashamed of it and keep it to yourself if you truly believe it's wrong.

Shock_Wave

Hmmm. You're projecting? When I eat something like ice cream in public, like I did the other day, I feel awkward, because I worry I'm being judged.

But you might consider that some of these folks have planned for their splurge, as some of us on MFP do. Or we count it and move on, even if we're over our calories for the day.

Ok. One of the instances that pissed me off. I was at a texmex place, on my spike day, eating queso, a huge burrito, etc. This family walks in (Husband, wife, about a 7 year old, and a 1 year old) They were all over weight. Parents were obese. They sat next to us, and when they got their food, the man *****ed at the waiter because he ordered 2 lbs of fajita meat. TWO FREAKING POUNDS!!!! And she said "oh, when you said two, I thought you meant you wanted fajitas for two." He wanted to eat enough meat for 4 freaking people. WHY!?!?!

Not to be mean but I think some people need to mind their own business. Some people are just happy with the way they live whether they are eaters, smoker, drinkers. Sure people are entitled to their opinions but when you start passing judgment then you need to back off and live and concentrate on your own life instead. You have no right to say some thing is wrong with people just because you dont like it. If people are happy then live and let live.

Romans 2:1


New International Version (©1984)
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.

New Living Translation (©2007)
You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things.

Even if you dont believe this is still a good motto and well said.

Shock_Wave

I could judge you for not knowing how to spell judgmental. I think, "It's not hard to pick up a dictionary."

Everyone is at different points of the weight loss experience. Maybe somebody else thinks you're weak for having put on any excess weight in the first place--do they have the right to judge you? We're all here to improve ourselves, and we're supposed to be supportive as part of the MFP community. You don't have the right to judge someone else "yet" or ever, and posting about it, trying to make it acceptable by pretending to be concerned about your judgmental nature, is irritating--be ashamed of it and keep it to yourself if you truly believe it's wrong.

x2

marvelscale

I could judge you for not knowing how to spell judgmental. I think, "It's not hard to pick up a dictionary."

Everyone is at different points of the weight loss experience. Maybe somebody else thinks you're weak for having put on any excess weight in the first place--do they have the right to judge you? We're all here to improve ourselves, and we're supposed to be supportive as part of the MFP community. You don't have the right to judge someone else "yet" or ever, and posting about it, trying to make it acceptable by pretending to be concerned about your judgmental nature, is irritating--be ashamed of it and keep it to yourself if you truly believe it's wrong.

Off topic, but both spellings of the word are correct.

tinamatteson

I do this, too. Mainly towards my family. I love them so much and I do not want them to harm their health. It makes me sad because getting healthy is not as hard as i assumed it would be

"Getting healthy is not as hard as I assumed it would be." Exactly! I have been on my new lifestyle plan for 2 months now and the weight is coming off on a regular basis and I'm so excited... I wish I'd known it would work this well! I always assumed it would be a difficult, awful, horrible process... and although it IS a lot of work, and does require discipline. it's definitely not as bad as I thought. And once you see the weight coming off you feel so encouraged. I don't ever want to go back.

JaySpice

I guess you know it all know huh?

I think a lot of people do this and I find it annoying. As soon as people 'know better' they think they can look down on the people who were just like them months ago. :grumble:

BUT if that's how you feel who am I tell you anything else.

tinamatteson

I just try to remember that I was them once.

Ouch! So true.

valeriebpdx

I could judge you for not knowing how to spell judgmental. I think, "It's not hard to pick up a dictionary."

Off topic, but both spellings of the word are correct.

Not in America, but because this is a worldwide site I will accept the charge of ethnocentricity.

sunsetwest

this has been especially difficult for me because my mother-in-law has such an unhealthy perspective on food and she recently had a cancer scare. i thought she would try to eat better and take care of herself, but she still says things like, "well, and apple doesn't taste like a donut. too bad." and keeps little debbies in the fruit basket. so sad. i try to be more compassionate and, once they get me started on food or fitness, i'll tell them as much as they want to know! i love to spread the [healthy] word.

jedibunny

This is a great topic - and I have a few thoughts. I hope I'm not repeating much because I honestly didn't read all 10 pages, lol.

I'm having these same sort of thoughts with my own FAMILY (and my bf, who used to work out hardcore but stopped after losing his job and now refuses to go back because he "doesn't have time" with the new job--which is BS). My family, though, are wonderful people who have no clue about nutrition even though they're vegetarian... they're part of the reason I was/am overweight. Carbs all day every day.

Yesterday I went to dinner at my mom's, and had a nice salad with homemade croutons... and then, scalloped potatoes. A huge massive plate of just scalloped potatoes was set in front of everyone. I refused about half of the portion, but took some home because I knew my mother worked hard to cook it (and it did taste good). Then, she gave us homemade brownies. Again, SO GOOD, but I couldn't eat more than a half of one. She sent me home with two more. I haven't eaten them... but I'm sure by now my bf has.

It's incredibly frustrating. My family doesn't really know better, but my bf definitely does, and yet he'll scarf down a half a pizza and three Red Bulls for dinner. No matter what I say or how I visibly change my diet/actions, it's ultimately HIS decision whether or not to join me in this. As for my family, maybe they'll start asking when they notice I'm dropping pounds and toning up, and then we'll see what happens.

Me point is: be frustrated, but remember that it's not up to you to save the world - only yourself.

rainedragon

I find that I am when people get into my personal space. For example, I ride a bus to work, and when someone overweight crams themselves into the seat next to me so that they are partially sitting on me, I get really irritated. I take up less than a whole seat, sure, but if you take up more than 1.3 seats, that doesn't give you the right to sit on me. Plus, while being sat on, one can't really leave and get a different seat. So I'm left with either telling someone they are too big for the space (and risk physical harm given the environment) or just deal with being sat on for up to an hour.

That's when I get judgy about weight.

People can be whatever weight they want; It's none of my business; but really, they need to accept that they take up a certain amount of space and accommodate themselves.

tequila09

I find that I am when people get into my personal space. For example, I ride a bus to work, and when someone overweight crams themselves into the seat next to me so that they are partially sitting on me, I get really irritated. I take up less than a whole seat, sure, but if you take up more than 1.3 seats, that doesn't give you the right to sit on me. Plus, while being sat on, one can't really leave and get a different seat. So I'm left with either telling someone they are too big for the space (and risk physical harm given the environment) or just deal with being sat on for up to an hour.

That's when I get judgy about weight.

People can be whatever weight they want; It's none of my business; but really, they need to accept that they take up a certain amount of space and accommodate themselves.

oh my goodness how rude of someone to partially sit on you!! i would definitely not be nice in that situation.

Zarebeth

I would love my 75-year old mother to quit smoking and lose weight. It kills me that she won't. But it isn't any of my damn business. And it sure the heck isn't yours. Mind your own business. Besides, you are just using it to make yourself feel superior, because you think you are better than them.

Everyone is fighting a battle of some sort. Be kind to people because you just don't know what it is. I may be fat right now, but I will be thin soon enough. You will always be mean.