What's ur Best Marriage Advice

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  • JessG11
    JessG11 Posts: 345 Member
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    Dutch oven at least once a month.


    Hilarious!!!!! I think my fiance' would throw this in....it for sure keeps you laughing....love it
  • Dilfster
    Dilfster Posts: 434
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    let the wife think she is always right even if she is not. :)
  • thinktank32k
    thinktank32k Posts: 716
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    these are great. They are all keepers and will come in handy. Thanks for the loads of great advice
  • anastasiawildflower
    anastasiawildflower Posts: 197 Member
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    I realize that this thread is a little worn out. I think I've read everything, but there was one thing I didn't read yet.

    - No matter how awful your day is going, always find something positive about it.

    ex. a) once my husband's car wouldn't start and we jumped it 3 times before it seemed to hold the charge, which lasted 2 minutes. His car died and he was so frustrated he strung together the most ridiculous expletives. He never gets really heated about anything and I just lost it. I was laughing so loud, it lightened the mood.

    ex b) any time we find ourselves coming out of a terrible situation, my husband likes to ask me something like, "Remember that one time, we were in Orlando, but couldn't leave the airport because we were $10 short on our card and they wouldn't take a $20 bill?". It always reminds me that we are in this together and our misadventures are always great stories to tell later.

    -Also, laugh, love, and communicate often, which seem to be common themes on this thread.
  • MrsGoHard
    MrsGoHard Posts: 150 Member
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    WOW.... so much wonderful advice with the exception to cheat and leave God out of it...

    So my advice would be to TAKE IN all the wonderful advice here... and on the PROMISED uneasy days... READ THIS THREAD.

    I've been married going on 4 years in July. I am TRULY blessed to have a friend such as my husband.

    Some days you will forget that. Do everything in your power to remember.

    Remember that you're ALREADY before even being married, looking to the vets to make sure you don't mess it up. Keep that eagerness.

    Be his "Sunshine". That is a sexual reference. I am referring to a character names "Sunshine" on the movie "Harlem Nights". Google it. You will giggle.

    Establish NOW that your two can talk about anything. ANYTHING. A N Y T H I N G.

    Forget you ever knew what a grudge was.

    Eat together. Often.

    Have inside jokes.

    Fart in front of each other.

    Dress up for each other.

    Pray WITH and FOR each other.

    Be on the trust policy that says "we can trade phones for a week with no issues".

    Occasionally you'll WANT to, but DO NOT... D O N O T talk about your sex life with your girlfriends. They already "love how much of an awesome guy" your guy is, don't give them another reason to act up.

    You need your friends, but recognize you and your "single" or "minglin" friends and you don't have THAT MUCH (notice I didn't say ANYTHING) in common.

    You may occasionally want to run to facebook and say something [good, bad or indifferent] - THINK FIRST. Usually, on birthdays, or love holidays or if I just can't help myself, I will say something EXTRA mushy about my husband. But EVERYDAY and every two minutes going ON and ON about your love and sacrifices for each other on facebook or where ever else is UNNECESSARY!!! - Learn to keep SOME things if not most things, between you and him. When you're going all overboard, you don't look like a unified/happy couple... you look like a couple of people who need to prove something. It's tempting. Especially when you're all IN LOOOVVE... but... trust me... You will look at those people and together give side eyes and snares.

    Also, I think it's safe to say I don't need to tell you to keep arguments of ANY KIND OFF OF FACEBOOK or anything like it. Even if you think you're being indirect, people KNOW you're talking about your hubby, and dang it.. your grief becomes their entertainment. You will have your occasional bitter heifer girlfriend who will chime in and give a "GOOD FOR YOU FOR LEAVING THAT JERK!" but TRUST ME... she's only saying that because she extremely jealous of aforementioned extra cheesy love posts.

    You WILL be tempted to color outside the lines. Men will never become unattractive. And depending on how annoying hubby is being, other men and their foliage might be more attractive than... anything. Every time you SPEAK TO, THINK OF, or COME IN CONTACT WITH another man, react as if hubby is RIGHT next to you. Whether you're angry or not.

    No. He doesn't clean the bathroom like your neat freak of a mother taught you... but he cleaned the bathroom. He missed the toothpaste on the sink? just get it up.

    Shut up.

    Stop whining.

    Let him protect you.

    Let him provide for you.

    Let him have the final say on a decision that you have to make together. In agreeing to do this, you agree to first clearly and fluidly state YOUR opinion or case on the decision, and two NOT say "I told you so" if he's wrong.

    Yes I know.

    You STILL have to do this. I would suggest practicing on a SMALL thing where you're more indifferent on the outcome than something HUGE.

    Don't ask him things like "do I look fat?" Because that's what he heard. Ask instead what you really want to know which is "Yes, I do look bloated as a mutha, but do you still look at me and want to take me right here on the floor in front of people because I'm so hot, my chunk doesn't matter?"

    lol

    Congrats sweetie pie. Above everything I've said, Keep the word in your hearts, Expect the best from GOD and not each other, and you'll make it. :drinker:
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    Been married 15 years this June. A friend gave me this advice when we got married:Ddon't sweat the small stuff.....and (damn near) everything is small stuff. He was right.

    My husband and I also work together and our secret is to NOT ride to work together. I can't stand waiting for him to be ready in the morning, and I don't care for the music he listens to (same stuff over and over). If we rode to work together I'd be tempted to roll the car one morning before I had enough coffee to think straight. ;)
  • gomisskellygo
    gomisskellygo Posts: 635 Member
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    Sexting..it does wonders:smokin:

    We've been married for 15 years!
  • kimbly71
    kimbly71 Posts: 188
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    These are a few things that have worked for me and my hubby of 14 years.
    1. Find something to laugh about with each other OFTEN!
    2. From another thread- if you do not know how yet, learn how to make a kick *kitten* sandwich (yes, I'm serious).
    3. Come up with little traditions for just the two of you. Ex. Every Sunday my husband cooks me breakfast and we read the paper together.
    4. If you plan on having kids, get an animal together.
    5. Have sex! It's more than a physical thing, it is also about staying connected.
    Good luck and enjoy the ride!
  • AvonLucyR
    AvonLucyR Posts: 124 Member
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    1) Keep God in the center of your relationship.
    2) Remember that marriage is commitment and choose to keep that commitment - divorce is not an option.
    3) Discuss everything before you get married...if you can't talk about it before you are married, you won't be able to talk about it later.
    4) Remember that marriage doesn't improve a relationship. It tests a relationship. If everything isn't right now, don't expect it to improve with marriage.
    5) Never take each other for granted. We never know what tomorrow will bring.

    Congratulations, and God bless you and your future husband! :happy:
  • RicSnyder
    RicSnyder Posts: 129 Member
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    Never stop pursuing each other. So many people think of marriage as a goal to be reached and then when they get married they stop pursuing the other person. It used to be called courting or wooing. This needs to continue your whole life. And when kids come along, keep your husband/wife as your primary relationship. Kids will grow-up and move out. Your husband/wife will be there ‘til death do you part.
  • greeneyed_beachgirl
    greeneyed_beachgirl Posts: 47
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    I've thought about this a lot tonight. In no particular order:


    1.Laugh often
    2.Have sex more often
    3.Make your own traditions
    4.Give each other space, time alone
    5.Don't nitpick
    6.COMMUNICATE!
    7.Listen when your partner communicates with you. Let them know you understand what they are saying.
    8.HONESTY, always
    9.Know that saying sorry doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want
    10.Fight fair, no name calling, leave the past in the past
    11.Compromise
    12.Exercise together, take a walk, go to the gym, play a sport
    13.Trust
    14.Agree to disagree
    15.Romance, date night, flirting, fall in love with your partner all over again and again
    16.Show you love your partner rather than just saying I love you
    17.RESPECT
    18.Go to bed mad (stolen from Q)
    19.Share responsibilities
    20.When your partner does something, if they've done it wrong, say thank you and kiss them, don't criticize
    21.Cook together
    22.Don't discuss the kids in front of the kids, present a united front, never undermine your partner as a parent
    23.Never forget why you chose them to spend your life with, never let them forget why you fell in love with them
  • dovesgate
    dovesgate Posts: 894 Member
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    Love what MrsGoHard said.

    The best advice I was ever given (by people in 20 year marriages):
    Sometimes you'll love him to pieces, sometimes you'll be indifferent, and sometimes you'll want to bean him upside the head with a frying pan. This is all perfectly normal and will cycle over the years. Just remember in the indifferent and angry times how much you love him to pieces in the less trying times.

    A marriage (or other relationship) is not always 50/50. Sometimes one of you will have to give 70% or even 99%.

    When the children come along, try your best to carve time out for just the two of you. Keep the bond and connection alive so that when the children grow up and leave the nest, you aren't looking at each other wondering who the stranger across the room from you is.
  • kidrobot3
    kidrobot3 Posts: 63 Member
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    I'm not happily married, I'm actually filing for divorce, but I think I have learned a lot from this.

    I married my high school sweet heart. We were together for 8 years.

    First I'd say, if you expect any sort of change or growth from your partner then you need to rethink your choice to get married. If you are unhappy with their job, how they handle anger/stress, or treat their family, etc, don't think for a minute that you can change that. You have to be happy with the person as they are this moment- and decide will you still be happy with that 20, 30, or 50 years from now?? There is no way to know if they will "change".

    If you have had the same fights over and over, you will continue to have the same fights for the rest of your life. Don't think that if he can't save money now, it'll change with marriage, etc. You will be fighting over the same things forever if they never get resolved now, they won't later. Try to learn to resolve these things before getting married. If you can resolve issues and not have to constantly fight about them, the stress on your marriage will be a lot less.

    The first five years of marriage are the hardest. If you can make it past that then you have done better than the % of people who get divorced in the first 5 years.
  • NYCDutchess
    NYCDutchess Posts: 622 Member
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    I'm sure this has been said, but HONESTY, TRUST And never deny the other something they want...

    We never tell eachother NO. If he wants to go out, I don't have the right to say NO, I can explain why I would rather he not but it's his decision.
  • mrandolph69
    mrandolph69 Posts: 197 Member
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    As you read all of the advice you are getting, understand that no advice is true for all people. I have noticed the "don't go to bed angry" advice in this thread a few times. That advice will work for some (heck, maybe even every other couple in the world but me and my wife) but it does not work in my marriage (we have been married for over 20 years.) Sometimes, cooler heads will prevail in the morning. Don't get in the mindset that your marriage is going to fail if you don't resolve whatever the issue is before you fall asleep. If that works for you, great. If not, find a way that will. Good luck!
  • lour441
    lour441 Posts: 543 Member
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    A happy wife is a happy life.
  • AliciaLucas_72
    AliciaLucas_72 Posts: 112 Member
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    No passive aggressive actions something is bothering you say it and be done with it. Talk to each other and listen to each other about your day and try to make each other laugh everyday.
  • AliciaLucas_72
    AliciaLucas_72 Posts: 112 Member
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    Honestly, try to not stay irritated at stupid small stuff... like leaving the clothes all over the place or the knife in the peanut butter jar... or worse the jelly out on the counter all night long with the lid off and peanut butter dripping from the sides... because as annoying as hell as that stuff is, there is probably stuff your spouse is super annoyed at as well (like knocking the truck out of alignment that they just had fixed two days prior just by going to visit your parents who live on a gravel and washed out road)... just don't sweat it, because at the end of the day, that stuff is so minor (even if it happens day in and day out and is annoying as hell) and no one is perfect.

    ^^ oh and this too. DO NOT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.
  • natsam1411
    natsam1411 Posts: 3
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    Open communication. Talk about EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.

    And flirt.

    I agree with this!!
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
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    If you wanted to stay married, then you both need to agree that divorce is just not an option. You need to agree that you have two choices--live together miserably or live together happily. If you find that you are becoming miserable (and you almost definitely will at some point), do whatever you need to do to be happy TOGETHER. Make sure that your partner are in agreement of this BEFORE you get married. It's just too easy to give up and move on when things get tough. But it's worth sticking it out and getting through it.

    Oh, and lot and lots of lovemaking!

    There are some great marriage blogs out there, with better resources and advice than I could give you here. Check them out.
    http://www.the-generous-wife.com/
    http://www.onefleshmarriage.com/
    http://couplethingsblog.wordpress.com/
    http://intimacyinmarriage.com/

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