Public Transportation & Giving up your seat

ItsCasey

You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

Bull****...

I ride the train everyday. And readily give up my seat to pregnant women, women with small children, anyone with a cane or obvious handicap... even a really old frail looking person. I am the first to offer up my seat. Or if someone asks, sometimes you dont feel well and really want a seat, people ask and I will stand.

But ANY lady? That is just plain craziness. She and I both worked all day, and I happened to be lucky enough to score a seat for 20 minutes. Such are the breaks we are all equal in the world! I actually think offering your seat to an able bodied woman other then some lame attempt to hit on her should be considered an insult to her. why does she need your seat, is her vagina too heavy to stand with?

Did you spend your day in heels, like women are "supposed" to in the business world?

I take the bus or train almost everyday, and its almost always elderly men that ever offer me their seat.

For what its worth, I always decline. I consider myself a huge feminist and it isn't an insult for a GENTLEMAN to treat you like a lady.

I only wear heels on the weekend... but I might have spent half the day climbing bridges or crawling through a tunnel. Sorry your shoes hurt, bring some sneaker for the commute

Sorry...I have to agree. We wear heels by choice. Regardless of who expects us to, it's a choice we make. And I also agree that, while it may be gentleman like, there is no need for a man to offer his seat to any woman who comes through the door. Now hold the door open, or the elevator door, that is always appreciated, but I do the same if I'm the first one there.

It's not about "need." It's about being polite. I don't need a man to open a door for me, to pull out my chair for me, to pay for my dinner, to walk me to my door. But I sure as hell have a lot more respect for one who does, just as I would imagine that gentlemen who do these things for ladies have more respect for women who smile and say 'Thank you' rather than scowl and call them sexist.

EmCarroll1990

You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

Bull****...

I ride the train everyday. And readily give up my seat to pregnant women, women with small children, anyone with a cane or obvious handicap... even a really old frail looking person. I am the first to offer up my seat. Or if someone asks, sometimes you dont feel well and really want a seat, people ask and I will stand.

But ANY lady? That is just plain craziness. She and I both worked all day, and I happened to be lucky enough to score a seat for 20 minutes. Such are the breaks we are all equal in the world! I actually think offering your seat to an able bodied woman other then some lame attempt to hit on her should be considered an insult to her. why does she need your seat, is her vagina too heavy to stand with?

Did you spend your day in heels, like women are "supposed" to in the business world?

I take the bus or train almost everyday, and its almost always elderly men that ever offer me their seat.

For what its worth, I always decline. I consider myself a huge feminist and it isn't an insult for a GENTLEMAN to treat you like a lady.

I only wear heels on the weekend... but I might have spent half the day climbing bridges or crawling through a tunnel. Sorry your shoes hurt, bring some sneaker for the commute

Sorry...I have to agree. We wear heels by choice. Regardless of who expects us to, it's a choice we make. And I also agree that, while it may be gentleman like, there is no need for a man to offer his seat to any woman who comes through the door. Now hold the door open, or the elevator door, that is always appreciated, but I do the same if I'm the first one there.

It's not about "need." It's about being polite. I don't need a man to open a door for me, to pull out my chair for me, to pay for my dinner, to walk me to my door. But I sure as hell have a lot more respect for one who does, just as I would imagine that gentlemen who do these things for ladies have more respect for women who smile and say 'Thank you' rather than scowl and call them sexist.

Exactly. Honestly, would you women rather live in a world where it's all for one, no one helping anyone? I sure as hell would not. We are one world, why not be polite, courteous, and respectful to those around us?

StrengthIDidntKnow

I thought it was lovely when I was with my father when walking down the street as he ALWAYS walked on the side of the footpath closest to the cars and if we crossed the road I would get a gentle hand on my back or shoulder to guide me further side of the path.

My husband still does with me.

lickmybaconcakes

I love it when arguments are used from anecdotes...

MommyLyssa

My husband, and my 6 year old boy (will ask my 2 year old to do so in a few years as well- actually, he will normally share a seat with his 4 year old sis) will both get up and offer a seat to ANY woman, whether elderly or not. Drives me batty when I see men sitting, an elderly/pregnant/mom with small children standing. Although, we also train our little boys to be gentleman. My boy has been holding doors since he was 4 Pulling out chairs is next

My only struggle is this- when there is an elderly couple (or lone elder gentleman)...I never know whether to get up or not! One the one hand, I don't want to see the man standing, but on the other, I don't want to hurt his pride by having a woman offer him their seat. Probably would depend on the man, so there is no good answer.

EmCarroll1990

I thought it was lovely when I was with my father when walking down the street as he ALWAYS walked on the side of the footpath closest to the cars and if we crossed the road I would get a gentle hand on my back or shoulder to guide me further side of the path.

My husband still does with me.

My dad still does it with me.

zafferFL

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

Why should men give up their seats for women?

Give up seats for the elderly, sick etc... anyone that can't stand well.

Don't make yourself the weaker sex.

By the way, before you destroy me, I open doors, including car doors for my wife. I let her walk through doors before me, I walk down stairs before her...I know all about chivalry, BUT not this.


Edit: Apparently I joined this really late. OOPS!

MommyLyssa

I thought it was lovely when I was with my father when walking down the street as he ALWAYS walked on the side of the footpath closest to the cars and if we crossed the road I would get a gentle hand on my back or shoulder to guide me further side of the path.

My husband still does with me.

This ^^ too. Love it

Nette_54

When my girls were old enough and strong enough to stand in a moving bus they always gave up their seat to their seniors, elderly, disabled and pregnant women straight away as did I ( I am no longer able to travel by bus ) I have been known to say in a very loud voice " any gentlemen on the bus ? " lol

I blame a lot of the problem on " Women's Liberation " as far as I am concerned there are those who have taken it too far, they get on their high horse if a man offers a seat, opens a door, helps to carry things............. They don't like to be seen as " the weaker sex " ! ! But that has nothing to do with it, it was a way of showing respect to women, being polite and courteous.

I thought it was lovely when I was with my father when walking down the street as he ALWAYS walked on the side of the footpath closest to the cars and if we crossed the road I would get a gentle hand on my back or shoulder to guide me further side of the path. He would be horrified if he saw the way young men acted now with their lack on manners, respect etc like the men who don't take their hats off in doors. A lot of it is the fault of parents these days as kids are not taught the basic manners anymore like the young man on the bus and I think that is so sad. I guess really it has been the last couple of generations who have not been taught and it is only going to get worse.

Any time I hear about "the good ol' days" from older folks, I like to remind people about segregation.

Well I take it you are one of those with no manners and any excuse will do........... watch the " older folks " comment I am not "old" and as for segregation that is the stupidest comment I have ever heard, beside I am sure those who were " segregated" still showed respect like everyone else did

steveh08

You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

THIS.

mnwalkingqueen

Poor thing...she shouldn't have to ask....she should have many guys offering their seat up anyway. Geez....I even offer my seat up to the elderly, kids and pregnant women.

I agree with this person. When I use to ride the bus I gave me seat up to the elderly, kids, and moms along with moms to be. I will say this though when I was riding and pregnant big enough to pop the baby out people would watch me stand when the seats were full and never offer me a seat. Some people just feel they don't have to show respect or common courtesy anymore.

boomboom011

I thought it was lovely when I was with my father when walking down the street as he ALWAYS walked on the side of the footpath closest to the cars and if we crossed the road I would get a gentle hand on my back or shoulder to guide me further side of the path.

My husband still does with me.

This ^^ too. Love it

Mine too.

When we are in a restaurant he makes sure he is sitting where he is facing the entrance just in case some idiot tries to come in and do something stupid. I love that he wants to protect us.

passifloraFoetida

Back when I could still wear heels, If I wore them, and didn't bring back up flats it was my own damn fault that my feet hurt. I don't see any point in trying to control what other people do, or convince them that my thoughts about things are correct. I simply maintain my own opinion that anyone is capable of going out of their way to treat another with respect, but no one is required to do so. If I were really going to go out of my way I'd bet against myself, and claim survival of the fittest as the most basic means of handling any situation. Instinctually, human beings protect their own interests first. Based purely on instinct it would be unfair to assume one should put another first. In fact, consider any movement outside of that realm to be a welcome one. The fact that we've developed culturally to incorporate concepts such a chivalry is impressive enough on it's own, without the advent of it being set into motion by intelligent hominids such as ourselves. It is because of our means to incorporate concepts like respect and chivalry, that I haven't collapsed on a public bus before, because I was forced to stand. Human beings can learn to be compassionate toward others, and put others before themselves in situations where they still feel secure in their ultimate well-being. Ultimately though, there are too many variables in regards to human nature to control everyone, and it becomes a crap shoot as to what will happen when those variables collide. When it really comes down to it, arguing feminism vs. chauvinism is just an unfortunate bi-product of that clash. Most likely neither party will change their stance on the matter, and regardless life will go on.

grinch031

You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

Bull****...

I ride the train everyday. And readily give up my seat to pregnant women, women with small children, anyone with a cane or obvious handicap... even a really old frail looking person. I am the first to offer up my seat. Or if someone asks, sometimes you dont feel well and really want a seat, people ask and I will stand.

But ANY lady? That is just plain craziness. She and I both worked all day, and I happened to be lucky enough to score a seat for 20 minutes. Such are the breaks we are all equal in the world! I actually think offering your seat to an able bodied woman other then some lame attempt to hit on her should be considered an insult to her. why does she need your seat, is her vagina too heavy to stand with?

Did you spend your day in heels, like women are "supposed" to in the business world?

I take the bus or train almost everyday, and its almost always elderly men that ever offer me their seat.

For what its worth, I always decline. I consider myself a huge feminist and it isn't an insult for a GENTLEMAN to treat you like a lady.

I only wear heels on the weekend... but I might have spent half the day climbing bridges or crawling through a tunnel. Sorry your shoes hurt, bring some sneaker for the commute

Sorry...I have to agree. We wear heels by choice. Regardless of who expects us to, it's a choice we make. And I also agree that, while it may be gentleman like, there is no need for a man to offer his seat to any woman who comes through the door. Now hold the door open, or the elevator door, that is always appreciated, but I do the same if I'm the first one there.

It's not about "need." It's about being polite. I don't need a man to open a door for me, to pull out my chair for me, to pay for my dinner, to walk me to my door. But I sure as hell have a lot more respect for one who does, just as I would imagine that gentlemen who do these things for ladies have more respect for women who smile and say 'Thank you' rather than scowl and call them sexist.

Exactly. Honestly, would you women rather live in a world where it's all for one, no one helping anyone? I sure as hell would not. We are one world, why not be polite, courteous, and respectful to those around us?

I just don't get why being polite is a one way street that only applies to men.

iceqieen

You cant have equality in the workplace and not everywhere else. That just means you have equality nowhere. These things arent boxes that you can easily sort into (sadly.. would make life so much easier!).

So no. Dont stand up for me cause I have a vagina.

Do stand up for elderly, disabled, and otherwise less able than yourself.

Gave an old woman in Amsterdam a shock few years ago when I stood up for her to have a seat. Her daughter said noone had done that for her before. Shame! And I always say "no thanks" when random men offer me their seat. I don't need it!

I do scold guys I know for holding chairs, offering seats, wanting to take heavy things out of my arms, and so on. That's cause I know them and only when their acting on a "you're a girl" instinct and not because I am in need of assistance. They usually learn to tread me as an equal soon enough :flowerforyou: I'd never scold a stranger, if he's just being polite.

Also, hold the door for someone who is a step behind you, regardless of gender :P

LUVNME94

This is so sad that we have come to a society where our men and our younger generations wil not give up there sit to the elderly. I remember when men would give up there sit for women of any age and young women would give up there sits for elderly gentleman. Shame on any young man or man who does not know to do this and shame on the parents for not teaching them to do the right thing.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

What are your thoughts on this?

I was just reading the advice column in Reader's Digest, there was a question from a college age guy. There is a campus wide bus system that is free to the general public. Recently an elderly woman has been riding the bus and he wants to know if it is appropriate to tell her off because she always asks one of the college kids to give her a seat.

Now, I have been thinking about it and I admit, it makes me a little sad.

I think it's rude to not offer your seat to the elderly, pregnant women, and people with young children. I think it's disgraceful parenting that he should be of college age and a) not know this, and b) even find it acceptible to ponder telling her off.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

I thought it was lovely when I was with my father when walking down the street as he ALWAYS walked on the side of the footpath closest to the cars and if we crossed the road I would get a gentle hand on my back or shoulder to guide me further side of the path.

My husband still does with me.

My husband does this as well. He gets frustrated with me if I walk on the wrong side of traffic as his "Gram would roll over in her grave if she saw this."

imogenjade

i always give up my seat for cute old people but if they are annoying , grumpy and expecting they should stay in ther house instead of risking breaking their hip

k8blujay2

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

Why should men give up their seats for women?

Give up seats for the elderly, sick etc... anyone that can't stand well.

Don't make yourself the weaker sex.

By the way, before you destroy me, I open doors, including car doors for my wife. I let her walk through doors before me, I walk down stairs before her...I know all about chivalry, BUT not this.


Edit: Apparently I joined this really late. OOPS!

Pshaw! I'm sorry (ok maybe not, it just sounds good here), but wanting men to be more chivalrous (in this case giving up their seats on public transport) even in the slightest bit does not make women the weaker sex... It never has (despite what some might think).... even when we weren't as prominant in the work place and even before "women's lib"... In my opinion, that is a delusion men like to tell themselves to make them feel better. There is a reason that there are societies that are matriarchal and place a high value on women and how strong we really are. There is a reason the saying exists that behind a great man is a great woman (and I have even seen it as strong man/woman instead of great).