Public Transportation & Giving up your seat

StrengthIDidntKnow

What are your thoughts on this?

I was just reading the advice column in Reader's Digest, there was a question from a college age guy. There is a campus wide bus system that is free to the general public. Recently an elderly woman has been riding the bus and he wants to know if it is appropriate to tell her off because she always asks one of the college kids to give her a seat.

Now, I have been thinking about it and I admit, it makes me a little sad.

ccbing

Poor thing...she shouldn't have to ask....she should have many guys offering their seat up anyway. Geez....I even offer my seat up to the elderly, kids and pregnant women.

ItsCasey

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

Carl01

Good Lord,what an idiot.

xo_morgan

I think thats so rude of him wanting to "tell her off" any time i am anywhere where an elderly person/pregnant woman needs a seat i get up and give it. If you are younger and its easier for you to stand throughout your bus ride why wouldnt you? Its sad because most of them are going to classes...Where they sit anyways! stand for 20 minutes of your life younger people...it wont kill you, i promise.:noway:

BrettPGH

You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

therealangd

He should be getting his azz up off the seat without being asked. Let alone having to write to RD to ask if he can tell this woman off.

No, it's not appropriate to tell this woman off.

alexandria412

What an apalling question.

Out of morbid curiosity, what did RD advise him to do?

TopazCarey

Anyone with any bit of consideration and respect for the elderly should give up there seat to an elderly person. I mean, c'mon! I ride the bus everyday and I always give up my seat if there is an elderly person (or a pregnant or disabled person etc) that doesn't have one. It's just the right thing to do, in my opinion.

LishieFruit89

He gets up, gives her his seat, and apologizes for being an *kitten*.

When I was like 7, I was on a crowded trolley with my grandfather. And elderly woman got on and without even asking, I got up, offered her my seat, and sat on my grandfather's lap.

It's not a difficult thing

rcc1988

Ridiculous! Any able-bodied person should be offer their seats up to the very old/very young/pregnant/ill/disabled or otherly-abled people immediately - nobody should have to ask! The fact that he wanted to tell her off is even worse!

Forget a lack of manners, that's a pure lack of human decency!

netchik

I think it's sad when someone who needs a seat, isn't offered one. We have a group of private school boys on our train and they will study the newspaper very hard (or studiously write txts) when there is a pregnant woman (and in the UK they get "baby on board badges so there's no mistaking fat for preggers) or the elderly.

Now on one hand, I pay a lot for my ticket. I deserve a seat, blah blah blah, but I WILL give my seat up to someone who needs it more. It's the human condition to be considerate. Children should definately get up - their tickets are sibsidised anyway. But adults, well, it speaks of the sort of person you are. On occasion (like recently with an injury) I couldn't offer my seat to an older woman. But i made evil eyes at the school kids (which they ignored) and another man offered his seat up.

It's a personal choice, but I don't like the people that don't offer anyone (elderley, pregnant, injured, or just the 20 year old who looks like they have an awful cold) their seat if they can.

RoboLikes

I'm on public trans everyday at least twice a day and always give up my seat for elderly, pregnant, or someone with kids. It's just the right thing to do.

That guy seems like an idiot for even thinking, let alone asking if he should start something with an old lady over a seat.

Mallory0418

I bet he was single. What a tool. I think any young or able person, man or woman, should ALWAYS give their seat to an elderly person. I went to DC last weekend and had to stand while taking the metro. I didn't mind in the least, just realized that sadly chivalry is very close to dead (I say "very close" because I know there are still some gentlemen in the world) as I looked around and saw several guys taking up 2 seats just because they wanted to slouch.

HauteP1nk

You offer your seat to the Elderly and pregnant women, or anyone who is handicapped or looks like they need to sit!


There is this great commercial where this guy is yelling at some pregnant lady offering her his seat on the subway, and she is replying by yelling too.

It's all about if more people did good deeds they wouldn't stand out so much. And it is so true....

UsedToBeHusky

That is depressing! His mama should have taught him better. At least he questioned it. There is some piece of trash out there that feels completely justified in telling off a little old lady. Good grief!

StrengthIDidntKnow

What an apalling question.

Out of morbid curiosity, what did RD advise him to do?

Her response "Dude, get a grip and repeat after me: I am a healthy young person with a strong back and good legs, and I shall always give up my seat anywhere for any person who is elderly, pregnant, disabled, or otherwise in obvious need of assistance."

escloflowneCHANGED

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

this really pisses me off lol Women want to be equal but men should give up their seat for a woman lol

I always give my seat to someone on the bus if they have bags or have trouble standing or they are elderly because I am a decent human being...not because it is expected of me as a man though.

catcrazy

Most should give up their seat to an elderly person. The only times I didnt was when I was pregnant and had a couple of toddlers on my lap...standing would mean 3 of us +unborn baby as risk of being thrown around. If it was just pregnant me and 1 toddler I still used to stand for the elderly, One hand on the rail, one on the toddler worked fine but it did p me off that a pregnant woman would stand for a pensioner but blokes would remain seated oh and how good they were at avoiding eye contact.

I did once give up my seat when a woman with 2 walking sticks got on and no body would move...I plonked my toddlers on the person next to me and said "if you wont stand you can jolly well hold these so I can" and they did...shameful!!

spim

I'm a 23 year old guy and I don't give my seat to anyone on account of back problems that make it rather unpleasant to stand up, but I sure do enjoy being judged by everyone else on the bus.

What I love more is people that buy a ticket then proceed to fill the seat next to them with bags, then expect people to stand up. They usually clear that seat off pretty quick when you ask them if they bought 2 tickets though

ItsCasey

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

this really pisses me off lol Women want to be equal but men should give up their seat for a woman lol

I always give my seat to someone on the bus if they have bags or have trouble standing or they are elderly because I am a decent human being...not because it is expected of me as a man though.

I am not equal to a man anywhere except the workplace. Please note that "not equal to" does not mean "inferior to." Thanks.

GorillaNJ

You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

Bull****...

I ride the train everyday. And readily give up my seat to pregnant women, women with small children, anyone with a cane or obvious handicap... even a really old frail looking person. I am the first to offer up my seat. Or if someone asks, sometimes you dont feel well and really want a seat, people ask and I will stand.

But ANY lady? That is just plain craziness. She and I both worked all day, and I happened to be lucky enough to score a seat for 20 minutes. Such are the breaks we are all equal in the world! I actually think offering your seat to an able bodied woman other then some lame attempt to hit on her should be considered an insult to her. why does she need your seat, is her vagina too heavy to stand with?

Nopedotjpeg

It would be creepier and more hilarious if he asked if she wanted to sit in his lap.

BrettPGH

You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

Bull****...

I ride the train everyday. And readily give up my seat to pregnant women, women with small children, anyone with a cane or obvious handicap... even a really old frail looking person. I am the first to offer up my seat. Or if someone asks, sometimes you dont feel well and really want a seat, people ask and I will stand.

But ANY lady? That is just plain craziness. She and I both worked all day, and I happened to be lucky enough to score a seat for 20 minutes. Such are the breaks we are all equal in the world! I actually think offering your seat to an able bodied woman other then some lame attempt to hit on her should be considered an insult to her. why does she need your seat, is her vagina too heavy to stand with?

Ok, so don't. I do. You guys keep taking a brave stance and fighting the good fight to be selfish and lazy.

And I didn't say anything about hitting on her. How about you put words in someone else's mouth?

escloflowneCHANGED

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

this really pisses me off lol Women want to be equal but men should give up their seat for a woman lol

I always give my seat to someone on the bus if they have bags or have trouble standing or they are elderly because I am a decent human being...not because it is expected of me as a man though.

I am not equal to a man anywhere except the workplace. Please note that "not equal to" does not mean "inferior to." Thanks.

I think men and women are equal to be honest, I find it strange that you said that! I don't think a women is less capable of standing on a bus than I am, if a man had a kid with him, I would offer him a seat but just some girl having trouble texting and standing...hahaha nope!

AprilPayne24

Exactly!

Pebble321

I usually see people giving up their seats when someone clearly needs one, though I do remember one day on a very crowded bus having to wave a pregnant lady over (past a number of other people who didn't appear to need a seat) to offer her my seat. She was so grateful I thought she was going to cry!
It is worth remembering though that not everything is visible - someone young might have an injury that isn't obvious. Usually though, i don't think this is the case.
It is a fine line though - is someone "old enough" to need a seat? - I often see people (older but not really elderly) say "no thank you" to a seat. And my dad was a bit depressed the first time a young man stood up on the train and offered him a seat - but he did acknowledge that he appreciated it

QueenJayJay

You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

This. Just this.

Skeemer118

After being pregnant myself, I ALWAYS let pregnant women go in front of me at the restroom & even at buffet eating restaurants. I am so patient when it comes to waiting for them to cross in pedestrian walk ways & etc.

I agree with the others, the elderly lady shouldn't have to ASK a 22 year old guy to get up. What a dolt. He needs some manners!

RAFValentina

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

Why should men give up their seats for women?

Elderly people yes. Pregnant women yes. People with obvious injury, crutches etc, yes. Young mothers with a child and shopping in tow... yes...

Regular women?... NO... we're as fit and strong as them, and certainly enough to stand!

It's polite and kind if they do offer it to women, and would be appreciated, but they shouldn't HAVE to. And women certainly shouldn't be offended. Men and women should be equal in normal circumstances. The abnormal (some suggestions above) is where common sense and courtesy should apply!

If women want equality, then we should act like it. It's different from chivalry when one may hold open a door or help a lady in to her seat, perhaps on a date or flirting but seriously..day to day life... Get real ladies!

Kymmu

I remember waddling to the back of a bus and standing as it took off when I was heavily ( hugely) preggers. Then a man from the front stood up in the isle and yelled out....."come here and have my seat- and you should all be ashamed of yourselves!!"
So I waddled back down there red faced as the whole bus sat silently as they'd been told off!!