Public Transportation & Giving up your seat
Replies
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I always offer my seat to anyone who appears less able to stand, its not manners, just an automatic response drilled into me at a very young age.0
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i always give up my seat for old people. but i think most oldpeople are more selfish than the younger generation. when i was on crutches and pregnant old people sit and stare at you people under 60 would usually get up or offer, old people sat there like it was death row. WANKERS0
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exactly.I always offer my seat to anyone who appears less able to stand, its not manners, just an automatic response drilled into me at a very young age.
on a side note... am I the only one that finds it FUN to stand on the bus..
I mean, you're standing in a moving vehicle.. lol. weeeeeeeeeeee!0 -
Equal pay for equal work is NOT the same as being treated with respect and chivalry. I ALWAYS give up my seat whenever there's someone in need, not because I'm younger and can stand more easily, but because it's the decent (and chivalrous) thing to do.Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.
this really pisses me off lol Women want to be equal but men should give up their seat for a woman lol
I always give my seat to someone on the bus if they have bags or have trouble standing or they are elderly because I am a decent human being...not because it is expected of me as a man though.0 -
Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.
Why should men have to give up their seats for women? Are women inherently unable to stand for as long as men are?
I mean, I understand the cute idea of being chivalrous, but why can't a women show respect for a man by offering up her seat to him? Is that not a courteous gesture that any human being can offer another, without expectation? Why are men expected to act respectful like that, and women aren't? Or would a woman offering up her seat to a man just be too bossy, and no longer respectful, just because she has a vagina?0 -
It makes me grieved in my heart that this elderly woman has to ASK!
I am 47 years old and I was TAUGHT to give the elderly and all in authority RESPECT even if they are in the wrong! I have taught this same principle to my 4 children. What has happened to our society??? :noway: 0 -
how about just standing to begin with....?
more of a workout no? hahha sorry0 -
No she shouldn't have to ask. Her longevity gives her the right to expect (need I say demand) someone to offer up their seat. Second, she is a lady. A "man" should always be willing to offer his seat to a lady no matter the circumstances. There are certain things in life that are no-brainers. This one falls in that category.0
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This thread strikes a chord with me. I am still really fat, but at my worst it was hard for me to stand for long periods of time. If I did have to stand my back would get sore and I would get uptight. When I get uptight, I sweat like a beast.
I was raised to give up my seat to women, and anyone that needed it. At that point in my life I would often avert my eyes and I knew if I stood it would make the rest of my day miserable. I would go out of my way to be able to sit down and I wouldn't offer it up unless it was someone that was in dire straits.
The fact that I couldn't/wouldn't give it up totally humiliated me and fueled the whole self-loathing, fat-*kitten* mentality that still works against me once in a while.
I could have handled it if a medical condition kept me in my seat, but my own lack of willpower regarding my weight and feeling of worhtlessness made me feel like less of a man.
Now, if there are less than 1-2 seats available, I stand and let the next person have it.
That's just it though. Obesity is a medical condition, regardless of whether or not it is self-inflicted. I can understand why it's such a difficult thing to grasp. Before I knew what was going on with my body I had very similar thoughts regarding giving up seats. I couldn't and still can't stand for long. All I knew at the time was that I would get on to the bus and feel so exhausted and nauseous that I would immediately make a b-line for a seat, and I wouldn't give it up because I knew I'd be in terrible shape once I got to work if I stood through the bus ride. At the same time, I still perceived myself to be a healthy, normal young adult and hated myself for being so "lazy, and selfish."
I imagine being obese in a similar situation is a lot like what I experienced. I'm not saying that obese people should be catered to, as that could possibly foster the wrong mentality, but I think in situations such as public transportation, it goes without saying that if you are able-bodied, and perceive someone to be uncomfortable standing, it is perfectly acceptable to offer them your seat. The worst that could happen is they say no and get a little offended. But if that happens you get to keep your seat guilt free.
I just wanted to congratulate you on your progress by the way. 100lbs+ is absolutely amazing! Keep up the great work, and try to stay positive.0 -
The only reason why I don't do it more often myself is because I have health issues that make it hard for me to stand for long periods of time, or expend a lot of energy. When I'm already fighting to get through my day, the last thing I want is to be asked to give up my seat. But I'm one small part of a large group of people my age, some of whom are perfectly healthy, and should. When I have the energy to get up and stand I will. Otherwise, just keep in mind that people with hidden illnesses get really good at not appearing sick to others. If the student, like myself, politely turns you down, stating that they have health problems, please don't take it the wrong way. It's already awkward enough for us. Not everyone who is young, is healthy. Young people are just better at hiding it.
Ditto. I too have an invisible physical disability (unless you know what to look for). It means I cannot stand in a moving vehicle. I can't take the bus at peak times because no one offers up their seat, which is fine, they have no idea. That being said, if you see an able bodied person not offering up their seat remember that they might not actually be able bodied and they do everything they can to pretend they are a normal person.0 -
So sad that that question was even posed by the college student! Ugh! Honestly, I give up my seat for elderly, people with smaller kids than mine, people carrying a lot of stuff, whatever, I am a fully capable person of standing and holding on to the bar, why not let someone who could use some assistance with that have the seat?0
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This just makes my skin crawl.
I think there is much to be said about a gentleman. Im old fashioned and I love it.
Im raising my son to be a gentleman too. He is 6 years old and you can ask him right now what are 3 things you do for a woman
1. Always open their door
2. Always stand up when a lady leaves the table
3. Always give up your seat for a lady
With that being said, you want to be treated like a lady then ACT like one.
The elderly are not respected and it pisses me off. If I were on a bus and an elderly woman or man got on you better believe they would have my seat. PERIOD.
In my humble yet usually accurate opinion, I think its disgusting for a MAN not to give up his seat. I dont care how long you worked. However, a MAN wouldnt need to be told to do it in the first place.0 -
The only reason why I don't do it more often myself is because I have health issues that make it hard for me to stand for long periods of time, or expend a lot of energy. When I'm already fighting to get through my day, the last thing I want is to be asked to give up my seat. But I'm one small part of a large group of people my age, some of whom are perfectly healthy, and should. When I have the energy to get up and stand I will. Otherwise, just keep in mind that people with hidden illnesses get really good at not appearing sick to others. If the student, like myself, politely turns you down, stating that they have health problems, please don't take it the wrong way. It's already awkward enough for us. Not everyone who is young, is healthy. Young people are just better at hiding it.
Ditto. I too have an invisible physical disability (unless you know what to look for). It means I cannot stand in a moving vehicle. I can't take the bus at peak times because no one offers up their seat, which is fine, they have no idea. That being said, if you see an able bodied person not offering up their seat remember that they might not actually be able bodied and they do everything they can to pretend they are a normal person.
inner ear thing?
a friend of mine has some inner ear issue, and he cant stand on anything moving without gripping for dear life.
great guy.. horrible balance.0 -
Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.
This.0 -
Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.
This.
Agreed!0 -
Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.
Why should men have to give up their seats for women? Are women inherently unable to stand for as long as men are?
Not sure that's the point. From a male's perspective, it is more of an act of courtesy to "offer" one's seat to someone else. Taking gender totally out of the discussion if a young, able-bodied person is seated and a much older, less able-bodied person is without a seat, would you think twice about offering up your seat IF you are able to stand in order for the one less capable sits?0 -
Giving your seat up; for a "lady" . WTF? what century are we living in for goodness sake?0
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If it's crowded and an older woman gets on and stands by me, I've given her my seat. I admit, I don't do it for older males, unless they have a cane or something (and they've declined every time). Call me sexist, old-fashioned,etc. Just don't call me late for dinner.
Anyway, that college kid needs to relax with his self-entitlement issues and show a little decorum. It's hard to believe that just 10 years ago when I was in high school, the kids my age had much more respect for societies unspoken "rules". Now, they really are just spoiled. There are plenty who don't whine and complain about that though, so I rather focus on the good ones.0 -
Wow. Seems like his parents didn't raise him right. That is so messed up. Every time I'm on the bus and I see an old man or an old lady get on, no one else offers to give up their seat [including big, strong men!] I'm usually the only one that gets up to offer my seat to them.
Shame on this world.0 -
inner ear thing?
a friend of mine has some inner ear issue, and he cant stand on anything moving without gripping for dear life.
great guy.. horrible balance.
For me it a mixture of things, and its largely undiagnosed as of yet. (gastro-intestinal is hard to diagnose in the first place without everything else on top of it. All my my testing is ongoing.) I have chronic joint and back pain, coupled with frequent lethargy, nausea (bad enough to have a steady prescription of anti-nausea meds), and low blood sugars. There are days when I don't have the energy to get to the bathroom. It's something I'm still trying to learn to cope with, and fight through so I can just be normal.0 -
I would give up my seat for an elderly person, man or woman. And I've had gentlemen give up their seats for either me or my kids. This fool is the polar opposite of gentleman and, as many others have pointed out, needs a lesson in manners. What a complete and utter douche...0
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EVERYBODY who can should give up their seats for an elderly person/injured/pregnant person.
I will always give up my seat - didn't matter how fat I was, didn't change the fact that I would be in pain because it was hard to stand for long periods of time, if an elderly person got on the bus or train, I was raised to respect them and offer them my seat.
I have also yelled at the stupid young punks at the front to get their *kitten* up and give their seat to that lady/gentlemen that just got on.0 -
Armchair psychology: This whole "men should XYZ for women" chivalry things seems to go back to pre-civilization times when women were the baby-makers and men were the protectors.
As far as the young/old thing. As much as I'm a bit of an age-ist, if I see an older man/woman, I'm generally nice enough to give them a seat. Happens at the VA all the time when I take my grandfather because they never have enough seats in the waiting room.0 -
I think young able-bodied *people* should offer up their seat for an elderly or disabled person. However I don't think men should have to give up their seat to perfectly healthy women.0
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Armchair psychology: This whole "women should XYZ for women" chivalry things seems to go back to pre-civilization times when women were the baby-makers and men were the protectors.
As far as the young/old thing. As much as I'm a bit of an age-ist, if I see an older man/woman, I'm generally nice enough to give them a seat. Happens at the VA all the time when I take my grandfather because they never have enough seats in the waiting room.
Exactly. I say help people who need help. Don't help people because of their gender (or race in other contexts). We all know elderly people have a more difficult time standing for long periods of time than younger people.0 -
When my girls were old enough and strong enough to stand in a moving bus they always gave up their seat to their seniors, elderly, disabled and pregnant women straight away as did I ( I am no longer able to travel by bus ) I have been known to say in a very loud voice " any gentlemen on the bus ? " lol
I blame a lot of the problem on " Women's Liberation " as far as I am concerned there are those who have taken it too far, they get on their high horse if a man offers a seat, opens a door, helps to carry things............. They don't like to be seen as " the weaker sex " ! ! But that has nothing to do with it, it was a way of showing respect to women, being polite and courteous.
I thought it was lovely when I was with my father when walking down the street as he ALWAYS walked on the side of the footpath closest to the cars and if we crossed the road I would get a gentle hand on my back or shoulder to guide me further side of the path. He would be horrified if he saw the way young men acted now with their lack on manners, respect etc like the men who don't take their hats off in doors. A lot of it is the fault of parents these days as kids are not taught the basic manners anymore like the young man on the bus and I think that is so sad. I guess really it has been the last couple of generations who have not been taught and it is only going to get worse.0 -
Armchair psychology: This whole "women should XYZ for women" chivalry things seems to go back to pre-civilization times when women were the baby-makers and men were the protectors.
As far as the young/old thing. As much as I'm a bit of an age-ist, if I see an older man/woman, I'm generally nice enough to give them a seat. Happens at the VA all the time when I take my grandfather because they never have enough seats in the waiting room.
Exactly. I say help people who need help. Don't help people because of their gender (or race in other contexts). We all know elderly people have a more difficult time standing for long periods of time than younger people.
Social experiment. See if good looking women get a seat offered more often. I honestly believe it might just be for many a slight (and maybe even unconscious) way of hitting on a woman.0 -
What a doofus! He wants to 'Tell her off''???? Are you serious?!
In my opinion, there should have been seats a-plenty for that old woman. Not only should the guys have gotten up, but the ladies as well... assuming everyone else's legs aren't broken and they are able-bodied enough to stand for a few minutes without keeling over.0 -
I think young able-bodied *people* should offer up their seat for an elderly or disabled person. However I don't think men should have to give up their seat to perfectly healthy women.
I don't think men should HAVE to give up their seats and I would hope men don't feel obligated to do so. Antiquated or not, I think it's a very nice gesture.0 -
When my girls were old enough and strong enough to stand in a moving bus they always gave up their seat to their seniors, elderly, disabled and pregnant women straight away as did I ( I am no longer able to travel by bus ) I have been known to say in a very loud voice " any gentlemen on the bus ? " lol
I blame a lot of the problem on " Women's Liberation " as far as I am concerned there are those who have taken it too far, they get on their high horse if a man offers a seat, opens a door, helps to carry things............. They don't like to be seen as " the weaker sex " ! ! But that has nothing to do with it, it was a way of showing respect to women, being polite and courteous.
I thought it was lovely when I was with my father when walking down the street as he ALWAYS walked on the side of the footpath closest to the cars and if we crossed the road I would get a gentle hand on my back or shoulder to guide me further side of the path. He would be horrified if he saw the way young men acted now with their lack on manners, respect etc like the men who don't take their hats off in doors. A lot of it is the fault of parents these days as kids are not taught the basic manners anymore like the young man on the bus and I think that is so sad. I guess really it has been the last couple of generations who have not been taught and it is only going to get worse.
Any time I hear about "the good ol' days" from older folks, I like to remind people about segregation.0
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