Public Transportation & Giving up your seat

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Replies

  • Skeemer118
    Skeemer118 Posts: 397 Member
    The bottom line for me: I'd want someone to let my mom or grandmother sit down.

    Do unto others. One day it will be you.
  • Skeemer118
    Skeemer118 Posts: 397 Member
    I remember waddling to the back of a bus and standing as it took off when I was heavily ( hugely) preggers. Then a man from the front stood up in the isle and yelled out....."come here and have my seat- and you should all be ashamed of yourselves!!"
    So I waddled back down there red faced as the whole bus sat silently as they'd been told off!!

    :heart: THIS is AWESOME! :drinker:
  • mi09
    mi09 Posts: 2
    You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

    I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

    Bull****...

    I ride the train everyday. And readily give up my seat to pregnant women, women with small children, anyone with a cane or obvious handicap... even a really old frail looking person. I am the first to offer up my seat. Or if someone asks, sometimes you dont feel well and really want a seat, people ask and I will stand.

    But ANY lady? That is just plain craziness. She and I both worked all day, and I happened to be lucky enough to score a seat for 20 minutes. Such are the breaks we are all equal in the world! I actually think offering your seat to an able bodied woman other then some lame attempt to hit on her should be considered an insult to her. why does she need your seat, is her vagina too heavy to stand with?

    Did you spend your day in heels, like women are "supposed" to in the business world? There is no equality, not when women have to look a certain way to do business.

    I take the bus or train almost everyday, and its almost always elderly men that ever offer me their seat.

    For what its worth, I always decline. I consider myself a huge feminist and it isn't an insult for a GENTLEMAN to treat you like a lady.
  • Skeemer118
    Skeemer118 Posts: 397 Member
    And since when does a 19-22 year old read Readers Digest anyway? :huh:
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

    I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

    Bull****...

    I ride the train everyday. And readily give up my seat to pregnant women, women with small children, anyone with a cane or obvious handicap... even a really old frail looking person. I am the first to offer up my seat. Or if someone asks, sometimes you dont feel well and really want a seat, people ask and I will stand.

    But ANY lady? That is just plain craziness. She and I both worked all day, and I happened to be lucky enough to score a seat for 20 minutes. Such are the breaks we are all equal in the world! I actually think offering your seat to an able bodied woman other then some lame attempt to hit on her should be considered an insult to her. why does she need your seat, is her vagina too heavy to stand with?

    Did you spend your day in heels, like women are "supposed" to in the business world?

    I take the bus or train almost everyday, and its almost always elderly men that ever offer me their seat.

    For what its worth, I always decline. I consider myself a huge feminist and it isn't an insult for a GENTLEMAN to treat you like a lady.

    I only wear heels on the weekend... but I might have spent half the day climbing bridges or crawling through a tunnel. Sorry your shoes hurt, bring some sneaker for the commute
  • Skeemer118
    Skeemer118 Posts: 397 Member

    I only wear heels on the weekend... but I might have spent half the day climbing bridges or crawling through a tunnel. Sorry your shoes hurt, bring some sneaker for the commute

    :happy:

    ETA: quotations
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
    lol, our society isn't as civil as I can only believe it once was. SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK, PERIOD!
  • JoniBologna
    JoniBologna Posts: 653 Member
    My boyfriend gives up his seat for just about any woman on the bus. Makes me love him more. I definitely have given up my seat to pregnant woman and elderly women. I don't think it's required, but it certainly is a nice thing to do. I mean, I love my grandma. I would want someone to extend this courtesy to her!
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
    Okay, this post was originally about the issue with the elderly woman asking for a seat. I say again, ANY able person should offer their seat to the elderly, pregnant, or disabled. That's just being a decent human being.

    But as for the men giving up his seat for a lady...it's all in how the individual feels about it. I would not take a seat if it was offered to me by a man who was there first just because I'm a woman, but I definitely would not be offended if he offered. Some men were raised to do things like that, some don't believe it's necessary. Neither are wrong, in my opinion, just different view points. The thing that bothers me is all the friggin assuming and judging people do about these types of situations! I don't expect anyone to give up their seat for me because I'm a lady, but I appreciate the thought behind the offer. But I also wouldn't notice a LACK of an offer on a crowded bus I was standing on. And I'm sure a lot of the women out there feel similarly.

    There's no reason to get the grumpies about what different people would do in this situation (Men giving up seat for ladies or not). That's a waste of energy, in my opinion.

    Also, I enjoy a nice, manly Dr Pepper 10 from time to time. Did I just blow your mind?
  • StrengthIDidntKnow
    StrengthIDidntKnow Posts: 543 Member
    I take public transportation to work. I think it is nice when I am offered a seat but I don't expect it.

    I offered my seat to an elderly gentleman once, he refused and was really upset that a young girl (I was in my early 20's) offered up her seat.
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
    True ^ an elderly person should automatically be given a seat. No question.
    I still like it when a man opens a door for me - I'm sure to give him a big smile and a thank you...I was amazed recently when a young lad walked out of a shop in front of me and let the door swing in my face.
    It's not that I can't open a door- I would just never let it go when there was someone behind me.
    I'd be furious if my sons did that. It's nice to be able to help someone if you can.
    Manners are definitely deteriorating..
  • silverwolf24601
    silverwolf24601 Posts: 8 Member
    If you are a healthy, able bodied person, you give up your seat to those who are not. End of story. Gentlemen give up their seats to women because it is proper. I am equal to any man, but chivalry goes a long way in my book. :)

    The poor old lady in question should never have to ask. The punk who wants to tell her off needs to go to his mother and apologize profusely because I cannot believe that she raised him to be such a cretin.
  • FaugHorn
    FaugHorn Posts: 1,060 Member
    Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

    this really pisses me off lol Women want to be equal but men should give up their seat for a woman lol

    I always give my seat to someone on the bus if they have bags or have trouble standing or they are elderly because I am a decent human being...not because it is expected of me as a man though.

    I don't "want to be equal" I AM equal. I find it's usually men who expect other men to give up their seats for women, so leave us out of your little "pissy" tirade. I would never expect it and I wouldn't take it if offered (I would politely thank them and decline).

    I have an hour and a half bus ride to and from work everyday and there are often people standing for the duration. It's the risk you take. Seats should be given up for old, pregnant, or infirm. Most busses/trains have dedicated handicapped seats so if you're in those spots you should expect to automatically give them up.
  • donna_glasgow
    donna_glasgow Posts: 869 Member
    I at the age of 17 I offered an elderly gentleman my seat on the bus, he was very infirm looking ..... even so, he was so affronted and offended by this, ... it showed in his face instantly ..... he had fought in the war and here he was being offered a seat by a "little girl " also didnt help that I was heavily pregnant at the time ....... (although I was very fit)

    He refused the seat and stood on the bus leaving me to sit back down again ..... he was having real trouble standing there so what I done was I got off at the next stop and walked the other half of my journey ... there was no way I could stand there and watch him struggle.

    so for a young fit man at college not to offer his seat up automatically to an elderly infirm woman is shocking in my eyes it shows me what a sad world it is :(
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member

    If women want equality, then we should act like it. It's different from chivalry when one may hold open a door or help a lady in to her seat, perhaps on a date or flirting but seriously..day to day life... Get real ladies!

    This!

    I hold the door open for men too haha, it's just the decent and friendly thing to do!
  • jcpmoore
    jcpmoore Posts: 796 Member
    Wow, I wish half y'all lived in my town. When I was pregnant with my sons I had to ride the bus. NO ONE gives up a seat on the bus for another in our town. And I mean NO ONE. The elderly, the handicapped and the pregnant will ALL stand if they are unfortunately enough to get on the bus late. At 7 months pregnant and huge, I gave up MY seat to an elderly woman b/c no one else was going to do it. I usually ended up standing anyway, so it didn't matter to me. When I waited for the bus in the afternoons, I waited in the full heat of the sun b/c no one would offer me a seat in the shade. That's my town. Just the way it is. I counted myself lucky not to get shot most of the time while on the bus.

    In general, I say be careful giving others the evil eye about giving up their seats. You don't know what handicap they might have that you *can't* see. At the age of 25 I was diagnosed with a major handicap that no one else could see. It was an invisible disease that caused a LOT of pain. It still have it and it still hurts. Some days are worse than others. Most days I'll still gladly give up my seat. On my worst days, though, I might not be able to do it and you won't know why.

    I'm thrilled to see the number of people here who agree that it's right to give seats to those who need them.
  • 412HeavyLifter
    412HeavyLifter Posts: 170 Member
    You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

    I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

    Bull****...

    I ride the train everyday. And readily give up my seat to pregnant women, women with small children, anyone with a cane or obvious handicap... even a really old frail looking person. I am the first to offer up my seat. Or if someone asks, sometimes you dont feel well and really want a seat, people ask and I will stand.

    But ANY lady? That is just plain craziness. She and I both worked all day, and I happened to be lucky enough to score a seat for 20 minutes. Such are the breaks we are all equal in the world! I actually think offering your seat to an able bodied woman other then some lame attempt to hit on her should be considered an insult to her. why does she need your seat, is her vagina too heavy to stand with?

    UT OH.....Vagina too heavy to stand with is quite funny though LOL
  • SeasideOasis
    SeasideOasis Posts: 1,057 Member
    Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

    this really pisses me off lol Women want to be equal but men should give up their seat for a woman lol

    I always give my seat to someone on the bus if they have bags or have trouble standing or they are elderly because I am a decent human being...not because it is expected of me as a man though.

    This...I am a very capable woman. I dont 'need' someone to give up their seat because I'm a woman....

    I will gladly give up my seat in a heartbeat to those who need it.
  • 412HeavyLifter
    412HeavyLifter Posts: 170 Member
    I'd give my seat up for the elderly or handicapped. Anyone else will just be *kitten* out of luck!
  • TundraTed
    TundraTed Posts: 254 Member
    This is an ironic subject to me. I am a young guy with a small child and have a very visible disability. It especially makes it very hard to stand on moving vehicles. I would say only about 1/2 the time does someone offer me a seat when they are taken. Most of the time the people who offer it are older then I am and male. (Not always)

    I have given up my seat for elderly people and women with young children, etc when they need it more then I do. It is just the right thing to do. Often times it makes the others who did not give up their seat very self-conscience. You can tell my the mood/look on their faces.

    As far as the women/men/equality subject. There is either equality or there isn't. I don't understand why someone would want to push for inequality over a bus seat, but that is their choice.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

    this really pisses me off lol Women want to be equal but men should give up their seat for a woman lol

    I always give my seat to someone on the bus if they have bags or have trouble standing or they are elderly because I am a decent human being...not because it is expected of me as a man though.

    I don't "want to be equal" I AM equal. I find it's usually men who expect other men to give up their seats for women, so leave us out of your little "pissy" tirade. I would never expect it and I wouldn't take it if offered (I would politely thank them and decline).

    I have an hour and a half bus ride to and from work everyday and there are often people standing for the duration. It's the risk you take. Seats should be given up for old, pregnant, or infirm. Most busses/trains have dedicated handicapped seats so if you're in those spots you should expect to automatically give them up.

    Not to put too fine a point on it but his post was in response to a women making a statement of entitlement or expectation.
    It was not a man saying another man should.

    This is all part of the mixed messages society sends to all of us as we try to sort out gender interactions in 2012.
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
    I go to a public university with around 35,000 students and always take the shuttle to/from school since it's free for students. My route is always the most crowded, so you always have people standing. Most of the time, guys offer up their seats to girls or older people. I'll offer mine to older people as well, and sometimes to a guy or girl if they have a lot to carry, are sick, injured, etc. However, I've seen some guys who never give up their seat, or only give it up to certain kinds of people. A few weeks ago I was so upset because a guy got on the bus with crutches and a broken foot, and none of the guys around me offered their seat. So, I offered mine right away. People these days...
  • Savyna
    Savyna Posts: 789 Member
    Firstly they have a right to ask for a seat, secondly they're young and college aged, she shouldn't have to ask for a seat, someone should get up and give it to her. It honestly pisses me off so much when I am on the bus and I see older people/people with disabilities/pregnant women and they have to first struggle to get onto the bus and find a place to stand and everyone stares and then gets back to their ipod or their phone or their book or their conversation. They're sitting in the seats alloted for them (the people with babies, eldery people and people with disabilities) anyways so those seats aren't really there for them. Ugh some people really need a heart and some sense, if your grandma/grandpa, pregnant wife (which i dont even know to use that example because I saw a husband and wife get on the bus and the wife was mega pregnant and the husband sat right down whilst she stood holding bags and swaying side to side nearly falling half the time) or disabled relative got on the bus would you really still just sit there and not at least offer the seat to them? It's not going to kill you to say hey do you need this seat? Sometimes yeah I'm tired or I'm on my lady time and I feel pains but I try to at least get up still because they need the seat way more than I do.
  • angiebabes84
    angiebabes84 Posts: 31 Member
    Chilvralry is def dead when it comes to public transport. I used to get the train to work, business men, would shove you out the way to get on first, no-one ever gives their seat up for someone in need. Well, except once, i was about to pass out, and a woman offered me her seat. But you regularly see pregnant women standing, elderly people, those with young kids. Same now i get the bus. People just push in front. Dont people know what queues are anymore! x
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

    I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

    Bull****...

    I ride the train everyday. And readily give up my seat to pregnant women, women with small children, anyone with a cane or obvious handicap... even a really old frail looking person. I am the first to offer up my seat. Or if someone asks, sometimes you dont feel well and really want a seat, people ask and I will stand.

    But ANY lady? That is just plain craziness. She and I both worked all day, and I happened to be lucky enough to score a seat for 20 minutes. Such are the breaks we are all equal in the world! I actually think offering your seat to an able bodied woman other then some lame attempt to hit on her should be considered an insult to her. why does she need your seat, is her vagina too heavy to stand with?

    UT OH.....Vagina too heavy to stand with is quite funny though LOL

    Another reason he probably should give up his seat to a lady. Many of them are probably carrying around more than he's packing.
  • pauljsolie
    pauljsolie Posts: 1,024 Member
    I don't "want to be equal" I AM equal. I find it's usually men who expect other men to give up their seats for women, so leave us out of your little "pissy" tirade. I would never expect it and I wouldn't take it if offered (I would politely thank them and decline).

    I have an hour and a half bus ride to and from work everyday and there are often people standing for the duration. It's the risk you take. Seats should be given up for old, pregnant, or infirm. Most busses/trains have dedicated handicapped seats so if you're in those spots you should expect to automatically give them up.

    Well said. I was raised to always offer my seat to a woman, whatever age. If she says no, like the above poster, ok, that is her deal. Chivalry is not dead and I understand women who don't appreciate it, but I will continue b/c that is just who I am.
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    I at the age of 17 I offered an elderly gentleman my seat on the bus, he was very infirm looking ..... even so, he was so affronted and offended by this, ... it showed in his face instantly ..... he had fought in the war and here he was being offered a seat by a "little girl " also didnt help that I was heavily pregnant at the time ....... (although I was very fit)

    He refused the seat and stood on the bus leaving me to sit back down again ..... he was having real trouble standing there so what I done was I got off at the next stop and walked the other half of my journey ... there was no way I could stand there and watch him struggle.

    so for a young fit man at college not to offer his seat up automatically to an elderly infirm woman is shocking in my eyes it shows me what a sad world it is :(

    Similar sort of thing, but my response was, "well I'm going to stand over here anyway..." They took the seat.
  • Savyna
    Savyna Posts: 789 Member
    And since when does a 19-22 year old read Readers Digest anyway? :huh:
    I used to read it even more when I was 14-17. I like that magazine.
  • csparon
    csparon Posts: 200 Member
    Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

    ^^ I agree with you 100%
  • donna_glasgow
    donna_glasgow Posts: 869 Member
    I at the age of 17 I offered an elderly gentleman my seat on the bus, he was very infirm looking ..... even so, he was so affronted and offended by this, ... it showed in his face instantly ..... he had fought in the war and here he was being offered a seat by a "little girl " also didnt help that I was heavily pregnant at the time ....... (although I was very fit)

    He refused the seat and stood on the bus leaving me to sit back down again ..... he was having real trouble standing there so what I done was I got off at the next stop and walked the other half of my journey ... there was no way I could stand there and watch him struggle.

    so for a young fit man at college not to offer his seat up automatically to an elderly infirm woman is shocking in my eyes it shows me what a sad world it is :(

    Similar sort of thing, but my response was, "well I'm going to stand over here anyway..." They took the seat.

    lol yeah I left the bus, Id rather walk than watch him struggle. I saw so much of my Grandfather in him a very proud man, :)
This discussion has been closed.