Public Transportation & Giving up your seat

_binary_jester_

Chilvralry is def dead when it comes to public transport. I used to get the train to work, business men, would shove you out the way to get on first, no-one ever gives their seat up for someone in need. Well, except once, i was about to pass out, and a woman offered me her seat. But you regularly see pregnant women standing, elderly people, those with young kids. Same now i get the bus. People just push in front. Dont people know what queues are anymore! x

I would agree it is perhaps on its last gasp. But I think a good part of it is because of feminism. I can't tell you how many times I have been glared at for holding a door open for a lady. There is a lady here at work I always hold the door open for her. Not even a thank you. One day she was possibly 5 steps ahead of me and I had my hands full. She literally slipped through the door which immediately closed behind her. Umm thanks.

To be honest, that makes me less inclined to be polite.

EmCarroll1990

As a general rule, I always give my seat to:

Pregnant women
The elderly
Disabled people

FaugHorn

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

this really pisses me off lol Women want to be equal but men should give up their seat for a woman lol

I always give my seat to someone on the bus if they have bags or have trouble standing or they are elderly because I am a decent human being...not because it is expected of me as a man though.

I don't "want to be equal" I AM equal. I find it's usually men who expect other men to give up their seats for women, so leave us out of your little "pissy" tirade. I would never expect it and I wouldn't take it if offered (I would politely thank them and decline).

I have an hour and a half bus ride to and from work everyday and there are often people standing for the duration. It's the risk you take. Seats should be given up for old, pregnant, or infirm. Most busses/trains have dedicated handicapped seats so if you're in those spots you should expect to automatically give them up.

Not to put too fine a point on it but his post was in response to a women making a statement of entitlement or expectation.
It was not a man saying another man should.

This is all part of the mixed messages society sends to all of us as we try to sort out gender interactions in 2012.

Not to put to fine a point on it but I said "usually" not "always". He lumped all women together as only "wanting" to be equal and then expecting men to give up their seats (which from at least the small representation that has responded here is incorrect).

I stand by my statement that 1. it's usually men who are the ones expecting chivalry from other men towards women, and 2. that he was having a pissy tirade towards all women based on the opinion of one person.

412HeavyLifter

You offer your seat to a lady. Period.

I'd like to smack that kid. Some 19 year old futzing with his iPod and wants some old woman to stand while he sits comfortably. That's not a man. That's a little boy who could use some manners.

Bull****...

I ride the train everyday. And readily give up my seat to pregnant women, women with small children, anyone with a cane or obvious handicap... even a really old frail looking person. I am the first to offer up my seat. Or if someone asks, sometimes you dont feel well and really want a seat, people ask and I will stand.

But ANY lady? That is just plain craziness. She and I both worked all day, and I happened to be lucky enough to score a seat for 20 minutes. Such are the breaks we are all equal in the world! I actually think offering your seat to an able bodied woman other then some lame attempt to hit on her should be considered an insult to her. why does she need your seat, is her vagina too heavy to stand with?

UT OH.....Vagina too heavy to stand with is quite funny though LOL

Another reason he probably should give up his seat to a lady. Many of them are probably carrying around more than he's packing.

lmfao

joolzsd

My sister rode the DC metro daily while pregnant with her last child. The majority of the time, it was middle-aged women who offered her a seat, when she was offered one. Occasionally another (standing) passenger would ask people to give up their seat for her.

My son (8) actually prefers to stand and will do so even when there are seats available, haha.

In the business world, chivalry is odd. It turns into a battle of wills sometimes. If I am in an elevator with a group of men, and I'm in the back (which I usually am since they all insist I get on first) - there's all this jockeying around so that they can let me off first. Really? Just get off! Same if I get to a door first, I will open it, and hold it (since I am an able bodied, polite adult) and no one will go through until they wrestle control of the door away from me.

GorillaNJ

Another reason he probably should give up his seat to a lady. Many of them are probably carrying around more than he's packing.

That must be it... good thing your package helps you stand up. Must be most impressive!

dlw13

Chivalry is dead? I disagree. Maybe it's a Southern thing, but I was raised to respect my elders and to be a gentleman. I will always offer my seat to a female or an older person. A couple of years ago I was at one a lab for blood work first thing in the morning and the place was packed. I witnessed at least a dozen men giving up their seats for women who were standing. This was in Orlando, Florida and chivalry is not dead. Another quick note a few years ago my girls and I were celebrating a birthday at the Cheesecake Factory, and a usual the place was packed and we had to wait. My girls, at that time ages 21 and 15 both gave up their seats to a group of older folks who had just come in and were standing. One of my prouder moments as a parent.

DieVixen

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

Why should men have to give up their seat for women? As long as they are not pregnant,disabled ect are women just not as capable to stand as a man?

aj_31

What are your thoughts on this?

I was just reading the advice column in Reader's Digest, there was a question from a college age guy. There is a campus wide bus system that is free to the general public. Recently an elderly woman has been riding the bus and he wants to know if it is appropriate to tell her off because she always asks one of the college kids to give her a seat.

Now, I have been thinking about it and I admit, it makes me a little sad.

I think you should always give up your seat for the elderly. No question about it.

radosti1

I would never expect a guy to offer me his seat, nor would I normally take it (well, I did when I was pregnant and had a toddler with me). Years ago, when I was working on my thesis, I was on the train every day, Mon-Fri. I did my research in the city, then went home, ate and went to work. I worked second shift, slept 4 hrs and was back on the train at 6am the next morning. If I was lucky enough to score a seat, that was precious 40 mins of sleep/rest that I could add to my meager ration. However, if I guy offered me his seat, I always felt too guilty to accept, so I'd thank him profusely and tell him that I'd be sitting all day anyway. I never wanted a guy to feel like his chivalry is not appreciated. It always made my day just a bit brighter.

tig_ol_bitties

Damn...I have Lupus, and there are days when I can hardly stand for more than a few minutes, but I STILL give up my seat to someone if I see they need it more than me. What a selfish little peckerhead.

HotBodUnderConstruction

I give up my seat willingly for the elderly whenever I use public transportation. I don't mind doing it, it just always saddens me when I see no one else jumping at the opportunity.

MyFeistyEvolution

Wow....I have never in my life not given up my seat for the elderly, pregnant woman or mom with baby, or disabled.

It's a matter of manners and upbringing for the rest of it. Many times men offer their seat for me if I'm alone. If I'm with my husband, he gets me a seat. I've had women offer their seat if I have a ton of bags or a suitcase, and I've done the same for others.

eatherhey

I'm a 26 year old woman (from New England, to throw that "not Southern hospitality thing in there xD), I've always given up my seat (no matter where) to elderly people and pregnant women. But that's the way my parents raised me.

Cmh1211

MEN should always give there seat up for women, children, and handicap PERiOD. bus, plane, train where ever. no need to concider.

WhittRak

More and more I find people lack a proper manners and kindness. It makes me sick. It also makes me scared to think that these people will have a say in how this country is ran. That's it...I am moving.

Abells

I always give up my seat whether they take it or not is up to them.

My friend the other day saw a gentleman on an airplane give up his first class seat to a younger guy in the military. That's just beautiful.

CountryBoy65

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

this really pisses me off lol Women want to be equal but men should give up their seat for a woman lol

I always give my seat to someone on the bus if they have bags or have trouble standing or they are elderly because I am a decent human being...not because it is expected of me as a man though.

^^-this.

I was once reprimanded by a young lady for offering her my seat. She sarcastically replied....you are a lot older than me...you need to sit down more than I do.

Lesson Learned.

I will still get up for someone who appears to "need" the seat. But just getting up to offer it to a woman, just because she is a woman.....? Not likely after that dressing down.

fbmandy55

Chilvralry is def dead when it comes to public transport. I used to get the train to work, business men, would shove you out the way to get on first, no-one ever gives their seat up for someone in need. Well, except once, i was about to pass out, and a woman offered me her seat. But you regularly see pregnant women standing, elderly people, those with young kids. Same now i get the bus. People just push in front. Dont people know what queues are anymore! x

I would agree it is perhaps on its last gasp. But I think a good part of it is because of feminism. I can't tell you how many times I have been glared at for holding a door open for a lady. There is a lady here at work I always hold the door open for her. Not even a thank you. One day she was possibly 5 steps ahead of me and I had my hands full. She literally slipped through the door which immediately closed behind her. Umm thanks.

To be honest, that makes me less inclined to be polite.

Ah, the feminists that kill the reputation of the average woman. Most women appreciate nice gestures from men and don't see it as demeaning but rather polite. When a man offers me a seat in a crowded bar or holds a door open, it makes me smile and makes my heart swell a bit to think that people are still kind at heart. I hold doors for ANYONE, most people where I live will hold a door for someone in front of them or behind them. I don't use public transportation so I cannot comment on that.

Feminists make me so mad sometimes, just because someone is being nice to you doesn't mean they ar elooking down on you!

CountryBoy65

My friend the other day saw a gentleman on an airplane give up his first class seat to a younger guy in the military. That's just beautiful.

Awesome!!!

JennW130

Poor thing...she shouldn't have to ask....she should have many guys offering their seat up anyway. Geez....I even offer my seat up to the elderly, kids and pregnant women.

im the same way. i dont take public transportation...but i do this in like waiting rooms and such.

Elizabeth_M

I remember being pretty pregnant and everyone averted their eyes and no one offered their seat up.

I always make sure to offer a seat to ANYone who looks like they might need it - young, old, disabled, pregnant, injured. I hold open doors for people, I make sure to say please and thank you. I smile at people.

Sometimes it sucks because I don't get common courtesy in return, but I believe in karma.

Edited to say that it should go across gender - doesn't matter if you are male or female.

FaugHorn

MEN should always give there seat up for women, children, and handicap PERiOD. bus, plane, train where ever. no need to concider.

"Plane"

If there are not enough seats on a plane I think there's something SERIOUSLY wrong with the airline.

What people do to be nice and what they're expected to do is completely different. It's nice that someone gave up a first class seat to someone in the military, but I wouldn't expect anyone to do that.

Begood03

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

^^ This is thee correct answer.

TheKitsune6

why does she need your seat, is her vagina too heavy to stand with?

BAHAHAHA This cracked me up!

But it's a good point - it's different is someone isn't able to stand for extenuating reasons. But just because I have lady bits doesn't mean I have a right to a seat. Sure, it's neat when some guy stands up for me, but I CERTAINLY don't expect it.

leilaphoenix

Men should give up their seats for women.

Sexist much?

Ezwoldo

I don't use public transport that much but in London the amount of people who don't give up there seats makes me sick, I have even had a stand up argument because of it, I have in the past got my kids to stand up for an old lady and the youngest is only 5. I think it is just bad manners and some people need to be taught values, which in today’s society does not happen any more as it's all about me.

Norinella

It would be creepier and more hilarious if he asked if she wanted to sit in his lap.
[/quo:laugh: :laugh: te] Ok, I agree with everyone who said the guy should stand up, but I also loved this comment!

Marig0ld

I take a train every day. Now that I've lost weight I am getting offered a seat less and less. Sadly I probably looked pregnant!!

76tech

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

Why should men have to give up their seat for women? As long as they are not pregnant,disabled ect are women just not as capable to stand as a man?

They are.

I still give my seat up though. I'm just wired that way.