Public Transportation & Giving up your seat

LauraMacNCheese

I would give up my seat for an elderly person, man or woman. And I've had gentlemen give up their seats for either me or my kids. This fool is the polar opposite of gentleman and, as many others have pointed out, needs a lesson in manners. What a complete and utter douche...

BrendarB

EVERYBODY who can should give up their seats for an elderly person/injured/pregnant person.

I will always give up my seat - didn't matter how fat I was, didn't change the fact that I would be in pain because it was hard to stand for long periods of time, if an elderly person got on the bus or train, I was raised to respect them and offer them my seat.

I have also yelled at the stupid young punks at the front to get their *kitten* up and give their seat to that lady/gentlemen that just got on.

Nopedotjpeg

Armchair psychology: This whole "men should XYZ for women" chivalry things seems to go back to pre-civilization times when women were the baby-makers and men were the protectors.

As far as the young/old thing. As much as I'm a bit of an age-ist, if I see an older man/woman, I'm generally nice enough to give them a seat. Happens at the VA all the time when I take my grandfather because they never have enough seats in the waiting room.

grinch031

I think young able-bodied *people* should offer up their seat for an elderly or disabled person. However I don't think men should have to give up their seat to perfectly healthy women.

grinch031

Armchair psychology: This whole "women should XYZ for women" chivalry things seems to go back to pre-civilization times when women were the baby-makers and men were the protectors.

As far as the young/old thing. As much as I'm a bit of an age-ist, if I see an older man/woman, I'm generally nice enough to give them a seat. Happens at the VA all the time when I take my grandfather because they never have enough seats in the waiting room.

Exactly. I say help people who need help. Don't help people because of their gender (or race in other contexts). We all know elderly people have a more difficult time standing for long periods of time than younger people.

Nette_54

When my girls were old enough and strong enough to stand in a moving bus they always gave up their seat to their seniors, elderly, disabled and pregnant women straight away as did I ( I am no longer able to travel by bus ) I have been known to say in a very loud voice " any gentlemen on the bus ? " lol

I blame a lot of the problem on " Women's Liberation " as far as I am concerned there are those who have taken it too far, they get on their high horse if a man offers a seat, opens a door, helps to carry things............. They don't like to be seen as " the weaker sex " ! ! But that has nothing to do with it, it was a way of showing respect to women, being polite and courteous.

I thought it was lovely when I was with my father when walking down the street as he ALWAYS walked on the side of the footpath closest to the cars and if we crossed the road I would get a gentle hand on my back or shoulder to guide me further side of the path. He would be horrified if he saw the way young men acted now with their lack on manners, respect etc like the men who don't take their hats off in doors. A lot of it is the fault of parents these days as kids are not taught the basic manners anymore like the young man on the bus and I think that is so sad. I guess really it has been the last couple of generations who have not been taught and it is only going to get worse.

Nopedotjpeg

Armchair psychology: This whole "women should XYZ for women" chivalry things seems to go back to pre-civilization times when women were the baby-makers and men were the protectors.

As far as the young/old thing. As much as I'm a bit of an age-ist, if I see an older man/woman, I'm generally nice enough to give them a seat. Happens at the VA all the time when I take my grandfather because they never have enough seats in the waiting room.

Exactly. I say help people who need help. Don't help people because of their gender (or race in other contexts). We all know elderly people have a more difficult time standing for long periods of time than younger people.

Social experiment. See if good looking women get a seat offered more often. I honestly believe it might just be for many a slight (and maybe even unconscious) way of hitting on a woman.

CannibalisticVegetarian

What a doofus! He wants to 'Tell her off''???? Are you serious?!

In my opinion, there should have been seats a-plenty for that old woman. Not only should the guys have gotten up, but the ladies as well... assuming everyone else's legs aren't broken and they are able-bodied enough to stand for a few minutes without keeling over.

LauraMacNCheese

I think young able-bodied *people* should offer up their seat for an elderly or disabled person. However I don't think men should have to give up their seat to perfectly healthy women.

I don't think men should HAVE to give up their seats and I would hope men don't feel obligated to do so. Antiquated or not, I think it's a very nice gesture.

Nopedotjpeg

When my girls were old enough and strong enough to stand in a moving bus they always gave up their seat to their seniors, elderly, disabled and pregnant women straight away as did I ( I am no longer able to travel by bus ) I have been known to say in a very loud voice " any gentlemen on the bus ? " lol

I blame a lot of the problem on " Women's Liberation " as far as I am concerned there are those who have taken it too far, they get on their high horse if a man offers a seat, opens a door, helps to carry things............. They don't like to be seen as " the weaker sex " ! ! But that has nothing to do with it, it was a way of showing respect to women, being polite and courteous.

I thought it was lovely when I was with my father when walking down the street as he ALWAYS walked on the side of the footpath closest to the cars and if we crossed the road I would get a gentle hand on my back or shoulder to guide me further side of the path. He would be horrified if he saw the way young men acted now with their lack on manners, respect etc like the men who don't take their hats off in doors. A lot of it is the fault of parents these days as kids are not taught the basic manners anymore like the young man on the bus and I think that is so sad. I guess really it has been the last couple of generations who have not been taught and it is only going to get worse.

Any time I hear about "the good ol' days" from older folks, I like to remind people about segregation.

lickmybaconcakes

I'd usually offer my seat to someone else who was in more need of it (gender,age,disability regardless)the only exception being if when someone asks me and they make it seem as though it is their divine right to have the seat, even though I'm already sitting there.

It is courteous to offer; but from the other person it is rude to expect it.

Why should one be expected to abide by a virtue but in return the reverse is ignored?

knapowell

I'm not surprised by anything anymore. Last summer, we took our first family vacation to Disney. Each day we took the buses back and forth to the parks. I couldn't believe how rude people were - and these were primarily families. When the buses would fill up, my husband and I would sit our children on our laps (4 and 9). If someone with a small child/baby, pregnant woman, etc would get on and there was no seat, we would stand and let them sit, but I was disgusted how most people acted (it really was most, I know it was the middle of August, and blazing hot, people were tired, but seriously most people would not even look you in the face). On one trip, our 4 year old fell asleep as we were waiting for a bus back to the resort. My husband and I had to stand and take turns holding him, while other parents let their small children, teenagers, and even their bags have seats to themselves.

Batchoy

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

I happily give up my seat to the elderly, disabled, and pregnant and people with children, but having received abuse for opening doors for women and letting a women have my seat and been told that I was a chauvinist, misogynistic pig for doing so my position has become that unless a woman clearly needs the seat I will sit on it, and if I get to the door first I will walk through it first and she can hold the door open herself unless she clearly can't. What goes around comes around.

It is clear to me that there are many women young and old who do not have the manners that I was brought up with.

EmCarroll1990

I think this thread has turned hilarious. Now, we're complaining about men being gentlemen by giving up their seats and opening doors for women? Seriously women! What the heck is wrong with you?

I bet if a man was walking in front of you and let the door shut as opposed to holding it for you, people would be getting all pissy about that as well.

Personally, I love a door being held open for me, and a seat being offered to me. Shows there are still some gentlemen left in this world. And to those that still do this, thank you. It puts a smile on my face and sets me up for a great day.

WickedGarden

Now, a question - would you give up your seat in the front or back (the seats that are sideways and larger, and usually meant for elderly/disabled) for someone who is extremely obese? I'm talking someone who 400+ lbs. Is it discrimination if you deliberately don't (for whatever reason), or is it sort of offensive to assume they need a seat? Or... what? Some other reason you would or wouldn't?

yes, the busses here actually have signs near the front seats that state "these seats are reserved for handicapped and/or elderly riders-you may sit here but must give up the seat if it needs to be used"

I also witnessed a young punk (he was 14-16 with his pants around his ankles)who was sitting there, the bus was full, and a senior citizen with a walker got on the bus, he didn't move (the other seats had elderly people in them) the bus driver yelled at him to give up his seat or he was welcome to walk to his destination. He made some comment and the driver made him get off the bus.

I don't 'automatically' get up, I always offer my seat to someone if they look like they need it. Once I offered my seat and the guy said, "If I sit down, I won't be able to get back up! Thanks anyway"

To answer the OP's question, the elderly lady shouldn't have to ask the kid to give up his seat. he's an idiot. If he does go off on her, I wouldn't blame her if she beat him over the head with her purse.

TheBraveryLover

But as for the men giving up his seat for a lady...it's all in how the individual feels about it. I would not take a seat if it was offered to me by a man who was there first just because I'm a woman, but I definitely would not be offended if he offered. Some men were raised to do things like that, some don't believe it's necessary. Neither are wrong, in my opinion, just different view points. The thing that bothers me is all the friggin assuming and judging people do about these types of situations! I don't expect anyone to give up their seat for me because I'm a lady, but I appreciate the thought behind the offer. But I also wouldn't notice a LACK of an offer on a crowded bus I was standing on. And I'm sure a lot of the women out there feel similarly.

There's no reason to get the grumpies about what different people would do in this situation (Men giving up seat for ladies or not). That's a waste of energy, in my opinion.

Very well said, Mallory. I actually have been offered a seat by men (young and old) and I accept every time:happy:, but I don't expect it. It's a nice gesture and makes me feel more womanly and feminine. But it's not something I notice if I happen to be standing on a crowded bus. I do, however, notice how nearly every time I step onto a train or bus, the men who're waiting at the stop almost always let the women get on first. Maybe I just live in a courteous city? (ironically, it's Chicago haha)

boomboom011

I think this thread has turned hilarious. Now, we're complaining about men being gentlemen by giving up their seats and opening doors for women? Seriously women! What the heck is wrong with you?

I bet if a man was walking in front of you and let the door shut as opposed to holding it for you, people would be getting all pissy about that as well.

Personally, I love a door being held open for me, and a seat being offered to me. Shows there are still some gentlemen left in this world. And to those that still do this, thank you. It puts a smile on my face and sets me up for a great day.

:drinker:

thepetiterunner

I feel that there is a set of common sense, courtesy rules that should be implemented when giving up a seat to someone else:

1. All youngish, able-bodied men, should give up their seat to a woman (elderly or not).
2. All young people (both female and male) should give up their seat to someone elderly or disabled.
3. Most people should give up their seat to pregnant women or women carrying a small child (I'm talking babies here).

I just figure I'm young and healthy, active and in good shape so I don't need the chair as much as others do. It saddens me that this college guy gets annoyed when an elderly woman asks for a seat. It's not a question in mind, that she should have it.

almonds1

What are your thoughts on this?

I was just reading the advice column in Reader's Digest, there was a question from a college age guy. There is a campus wide bus system that is free to the general public. Recently an elderly woman has been riding the bus and he wants to know if it is appropriate to tell her off because she always asks one of the college kids to give her a seat.

Now, I have been thinking about it and I admit, it makes me a little sad.

college, high school, grown up...doesnt matter, offer it!!!

prose58

Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.

I agree with this. On the C-train I see young people sitting that should be offering a seat to someone else. Too busy with their headphones in their ears to see or care.