Public Transportation & Giving up your seat
Replies
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These are the reasons guys end up bald,sitting in a chair and staring into space.:laugh:
Honestly though it is about evenly split among ladies posting that think offering a seat simply for the fact it is a woman is the right or polite thing and those that find it to be silly.
How is a guy to know which is which in a given circumstance?
Use common sense. If a woman is pregnant or walking with a cane or is holding an infant, give her your seat. Same goes with another man who has a cane or is holding an infant. I hate treating people different solely because of their gender. That is not consistent with what being equal is all about.
^ A good representation , I wish more people abided by this.0 -
These are the reasons guys end up bald,sitting in a chair and staring into space.:laugh:
Honestly though it is about evenly split among ladies posting that think offering a seat simply for the fact it is a woman is the right or polite thing and those that find it to be silly.
How is a guy to know which is which in a given circumstance?
Just do it, if she doesn't like it tough sh#t, let it roll off your back like a duck in water. Works for me, I choose to be polite if she doesn't that's her choice. I refuse to be shamed for it.0 -
Mine too.
When we are in a restaurant he makes sure he is sitting where he is facing the entrance just in case some idiot tries to come in and do something stupid. I love that he wants to protect us.
This too.0 -
These are the reasons guys end up bald,sitting in a chair and staring into space.:laugh:
Honestly though it is about evenly split among ladies posting that think offering a seat simply for the fact it is a woman is the right or polite thing and those that find it to be silly.
How is a guy to know which is which in a given circumstance?
Just do it, if she doesn't like it tough sh#t, let it roll off your back like a duck in water. Works for me, I choose to be polite if she doesn't that's her choice. I refuse to be shamed for it.
Yes!!!!0 -
Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.
I happily give up my seat to the elderly, disabled, and pregnant and people with children, but having received abuse for opening doors for women and letting a women have my seat and been told that I was a chauvinist, misogynistic pig for doing so my position has become that unless a woman clearly needs the seat I will sit on it, and if I get to the door first I will walk through it first and she can hold the door open herself unless she clearly can't. What goes around comes around
first.. dont blame one persons behavior on the entire sex.... and dont use one persons poor manners as an excuse for your behavior.
second.. theres an elegant modern solution to this.
I will hold the door for the person.
A polite person will thank me or gesture a thanks.
An average person will walk through it, but not say anything.
A total ***** will call me a pig. I can then do one of two things.
take the higher road and say how I hold the door for everyone, and shes being sexist for thinking its because shes female.
or take the lower road and call her a c*nt.
what road I take depends on the environment.
I'd call her a c*nt.
I have another option for you if you encounter a "total *****" Try "Oh, I'm sorry. I mistook you for a lady".
Cheers!0 -
The argument in this thread is really a genetic fallacy. Despite the fact that women are treated with certain customs today because they were thought of the "weaker sex" for centuries, most of the current Western consensus is that is not the case, and that we are equal. Any of the remaining "manners" are just that; it's being polite because our parents taught us it was the right thing to do.
In my opinion, whether to give up a seat, open a door, etc., for a woman is a personal choice. I don't care either way, but my boyfriend finds it important so I allow him. I've never expected it.
Regarding the topic, I always give it up to anyone who seems to need it (elderly, those with children, preggers, etc.)
Riding the bus is a challenge for me, though. When only the rail above is available to hold on to, I'm in trouble, Being a little over 5', I hate it when people won't move so I can grab something.0 -
I spend close to 3 hours a day on public transportation M-F. I will offer my seat to a disabled person, a pregnant woman, an elderly person, someone with children, a person with special needs or if someone asks and offers me a compelling reason why they don't feel able to stand.
Will I offer my seat to any able bodied woman simply because she is female? No. Nor do I respect any woman who feels entitled to such treatment.0 -
Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.
I happily give up my seat to the elderly, disabled, and pregnant and people with children, but having received abuse for opening doors for women and letting a women have my seat and been told that I was a chauvinist, misogynistic pig for doing so my position has become that unless a woman clearly needs the seat I will sit on it, and if I get to the door first I will walk through it first and she can hold the door open herself unless she clearly can't. What goes around comes around
first.. dont blame one persons behavior on the entire sex.... and dont use one persons poor manners as an excuse for your behavior.
second.. theres an elegant modern solution to this.
I will hold the door for the person.
A polite person will thank me or gesture a thanks.
An average person will walk through it, but not say anything.
A total ***** will call me a pig. I can then do one of two things.
take the higher road and say how I hold the door for everyone, and shes being sexist for thinking its because shes female.
or take the lower road and call her a c*nt.
what road I take depends on the environment.
I'd call her a c*nt.
I have another option for you if you encounter a "total *****" Try "Oh, I'm sorry. I mistook you for a lady".
Cheers!
we have a winner!0 -
I have another option for you if you encounter a "total *****" Try "Oh, I'm sorry. I mistook you for a lady".
that goes in with the first one... or the second one as well.. lol.0 -
Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.
I happily give up my seat to the elderly, disabled, and pregnant and people with children, but having received abuse for opening doors for women and letting a women have my seat and been told that I was a chauvinist, misogynistic pig for doing so my position has become that unless a woman clearly needs the seat I will sit on it, and if I get to the door first I will walk through it first and she can hold the door open herself unless she clearly can't. What goes around comes around
first.. dont blame one persons behavior on the entire sex.... and dont use one persons poor manners as an excuse for your behavior.
second.. theres an elegant modern solution to this.
I will hold the door for the person.
A polite person will thank me or gesture a thanks.
An average person will walk through it, but not say anything.
A total ***** will call me a pig. I can then do one of two things.
take the higher road and say how I hold the door for everyone, and shes being sexist for thinking its because shes female.
or take the lower road and call her a c*nt.
what road I take depends on the environment.
I'd call her a c*nt.
I have another option for you if you encounter a "total *****" Try "Oh, I'm sorry. I mistook you for a lady".
Cheers!
we have a winner!
where I come from we would smile and say "Bless Your Heart"0 -
Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.
I happily give up my seat to the elderly, disabled, and pregnant and people with children, but having received abuse for opening doors for women and letting a women have my seat and been told that I was a chauvinist, misogynistic pig for doing so my position has become that unless a woman clearly needs the seat I will sit on it, and if I get to the door first I will walk through it first and she can hold the door open herself unless she clearly can't. What goes around comes around
first.. dont blame one persons behavior on the entire sex.... and dont use one persons poor manners as an excuse for your behavior.
second.. theres an elegant modern solution to this.
I will hold the door for the person.
A polite person will thank me or gesture a thanks.
An average person will walk through it, but not say anything.
A total ***** will call me a pig. I can then do one of two things.
take the higher road and say how I hold the door for everyone, and shes being sexist for thinking its because shes female.
or take the lower road and call her a c*nt.
what road I take depends on the environment.
I'd call her a c*nt.
I have another option for you if you encounter a "total *****" Try "Oh, I'm sorry. I mistook you for a lady".
Cheers!
we have a winner!
where I come from we would smile and say "Bless Your Heart"
You're from the south. LOL0 -
:drinker:
:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:Men should give up their seats for women. Young people should give up their seats for the elderly. The able should give up their seats for the disabled. It saddens me that this is even a question.
I happily give up my seat to the elderly, disabled, and pregnant and people with children, but having received abuse for opening doors for women and letting a women have my seat and been told that I was a chauvinist, misogynistic pig for doing so my position has become that unless a woman clearly needs the seat I will sit on it, and if I get to the door first I will walk through it first and she can hold the door open herself unless she clearly can't. What goes around comes around
first.. dont blame one persons behavior on the entire sex.... and dont use one persons poor manners as an excuse for your behavior.
second.. theres an elegant modern solution to this.
I will hold the door for the person.
A polite person will thank me or gesture a thanks.
An average person will walk through it, but not say anything.
A total ***** will call me a pig. I can then do one of two things.
take the higher road and say how I hold the door for everyone, and shes being sexist for thinking its because shes female.
or take the lower road and call her a c*nt.
what road I take depends on the environment.
I'd call her a c*nt.
I have another option for you if you encounter a "total *****" Try "Oh, I'm sorry. I mistook you for a lady".
Cheers!
we have a winner!
where I come from we would smile and say "Bless Your Heart"
You're from the south. LOL0 -
LOL When my daughter was about 6 she told an elder relative "Don't you bless my heart!"
Even at that age, she knew what it meant down here
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These are the reasons guys end up bald,sitting in a chair and staring into space.:laugh:
Honestly though it is about evenly split among ladies posting that think offering a seat simply for the fact it is a woman is the right or polite thing and those that find it to be silly.
How is a guy to know which is which in a given circumstance?
Obviously if someone is disabled, elderly or pregnant then it would be nice to offer your seat. I don't think that it is by any means necessary to offer your seat to every woman. Quite frankly I am more than capable of standing on the bus and if a man were to offer his seat I would probably reply with the "thanks but no thanks". There is nothing wrong with chivalry but I don't think that it is the same thing as equal rights. I wouldn't be offended if a man offered but at the same time I wouldn't be offended if he didnt'.0 -
It most definitely does not, at least not for me. I hold doors open for everyone, male or female. I give respect to everyone on the first encounter, it just how I was raised.
There are many posters in this thread who believe only men are required to be polite. When asked why men should give up their seat to healthy women, the only answer they can come up with is "because its polite". That implies women are not required to be polite.
Had to knock some of those quotes out... I have no problem being polite, especially as New Yorker, I will open or hold doors, help people with luggage on or off train (not even stealing anything!) give directions to lost tourists. BUT I just think when it comes to a seat on the train all is fair.
If it is a short ride, like two or three stops I will not even bother sitting... but in reality. I take the same trains most days, with most of the same people. We all know, get there first you have a seat.0 -
[/quote]
"Had to knock some of those quotes out... I have no problem being polite, especially as New Yorker, I will open or hold doors, help people with luggage on or off train (not even stealing anything!) give directions to lost tourists. BUT I just think when it comes to a seat on the train all is fair.
If it is a short ride, like two or three stops I will not even bother sitting... but in reality. I take the same trains most days, with most of the same people. We all know, get there first you have a seat."
[/quote]
I have been to New York a few times you must be the sole exception on being polite and holding doors, I struggle to maintain my niceness when in NYC.0 -
I have been to New York a few times you must be the sole exception on being polite and holding doors, I struggle to maintain my niceness when in NYC.
I actually find it a relief.
Here in the south, you are EXPECTED to be polite.
When you do something for someone, they're generally ungrateful. If you forget to say something, you're scorned.
but when you go to a busy city like NYC or DC and are polite... a lot of people (not all, but a good number) are grateful for it. You feel a little more appreciated.0 -
I've had the incredibly awkward experience of an older gentleman offering his seat up to (clearly able-bodied) me. I always feel like we are judging each other - "you sit down, because you are a woman", "no you sit down, because you are old and frail". Agh!0
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I don't expect a man to give up his seat to me because I am a female. I readily give up my seat for anyone who is elderly (male or female), disabled or is carrying a small child. My pet peeve is people who lounge on public transportation like they're in their own home, and you have to ask them to move their bag or otherwise make room for you. It's shared public transportation, people!0
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I did once give up my seat when a woman with 2 walking sticks got on and no body would move...I plonked my toddlers on the person next to me and said "if you wont stand you can jolly well hold these so I can" and they did...shameful!!
[/quote]
Love this.0 -
Last time I rode public transport, I was working until I was 8.5 months pregnant. My journey was a train ride for 35 minutes into Glasgow and then the subway for another 10 minutes, 5 days a week. More often than not, it was standing the whole way. Throughout those 8.5 months, I'd only been offered a seat once. It didn't bother me -- though I imagine everyone just thought I was a fat lump and not pregnant.
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from one angle...men should ALWAYS (I repeat ALWAYS) give up thier seat for a woman ...older or younger ... its the gentlemenly thing to do .. From another ANY younger person (female or male) should be willing to give up thier seat for an elderly person... whatever happened to "respect your elders"??0
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I have come to the final solution to all this..
I dont ride the bus.0 -
There are many posters in this thread who believe only men are required to be polite. When asked why men should give up their seat to healthy women, the only answer they can come up with is "because its polite". That implies women are not required to be polite.
No, it doesn't imply that women aren't required to be polite. It implies that there are different behaviors expected from gentlemen than from ladies. This cannot come as a huge surprise. Even if you weren't raised to follow traditional standards of etiquette, you can't tell me you've never seen a TV show or a film in which men opened doors for women, stood to greet a woman who approached their table, removed their hats when a woman got on an elevator with them, etc.
Some of these standards have been relaxed over the years. For instance, if someone (man or woman) approaches my table and extends his or her hand, I stand before shaking it. It just seems rude to me to remain seated when being introduced to someone. But where I'm from, a gentleman would feel at least somewhat emasculated if I opened the door for him because he considers it his job to open the door, whereas my job is to look him in the eye, smile, and thank him as I walk through it. Then again, where I'm from, women are proud to be women, and men are proud to be men. We do not insist on blurring the lines between genders out of laziness or fear of offending someone.0 -
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When my girls were old enough and strong enough to stand in a moving bus they always gave up their seat to their seniors, elderly, disabled and pregnant women straight away as did I ( I am no longer able to travel by bus ) I have been known to say in a very loud voice " any gentlemen on the bus ? " lol
I blame a lot of the problem on " Women's Liberation " as far as I am concerned there are those who have taken it too far, they get on their high horse if a man offers a seat, opens a door, helps to carry things............. They don't like to be seen as " the weaker sex " ! ! But that has nothing to do with it, it was a way of showing respect to women, being polite and courteous.
I thought it was lovely when I was with my father when walking down the street as he ALWAYS walked on the side of the footpath closest to the cars and if we crossed the road I would get a gentle hand on my back or shoulder to guide me further side of the path. He would be horrified if he saw the way young men acted now with their lack on manners, respect etc like the men who don't take their hats off in doors. A lot of it is the fault of parents these days as kids are not taught the basic manners anymore like the young man on the bus and I think that is so sad. I guess really it has been the last couple of generations who have not been taught and it is only going to get worse.
Any time I hear about "the good ol' days" from older folks, I like to remind people about segregation.
Well I take it you are one of those with no manners and any excuse will do........... watch the " older folks " comment I am not "old" and as for segregation that is the stupidest comment I have ever heard, beside I am sure those who were " segregated" still showed respect like everyone else did
I'm sure they were very politely lynched. And I don't need any excuses. I'm actually quite a nice person, but I get sick of people talking about how "this darn generation is terrible etc etc." I'm sure your parents/grandparents said the same crap about your generation. It gets tiring to hear.0 -
I have come to the final solution to all this..
I dont ride the bus.
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I don't sit on the bus. I stand by the back door, not holding on to anything and pretend like i'm surfing. Our buses have priority seats for the elderly and disabled.0
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It's common courtesy to offer your seat to ANYONE, in need or not. Even after a long day, feet sore, eyes droopy--there's always someone who needs the seat more than I do. That's just how I look at it.
Edit: Spelling. :blushing:0 -
i always give up my seat for cute old people but if they are annoying , grumpy and expecting they should stay in ther house instead of risking breaking their hip
Seriously? Only "cute old people" smh....0
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